Way to go - APOLOGY ALSO

As retirement finds me busier than when I was working (how did THAT happen?)
I find I have been here less and less.
I hate how I have been drawn into meaningless exchanges, and feel that moderation is now appropriate.
Don't set any clocks by me, please. I am not yet gone; only less present.

Pugsy,
I know you need to, and should, do what is best for you - but....oh what a loss for this forum. Your wisdom has helped me so much. I always have taken the time to read the threads where I have seen that you have posted as I know I will learn a lot. There isn't anyone who's opinion I respect more.

Please don't leave us for long.. Will really miss you.

With highest regards,
Jagzoo

Pugsy, I'm really sorry you are leaving. I've only been here about a month, and see how much you have done/are doing.

Though sadly, I see why. I feel there is quite a lot of nastiness as well as, what shall I call it, "troll policing". As i have said, I moderate a very large group on FB. I don't do a lot of censorship, kind of allergic, but always step and comment when I see people suggesting others are "trolling". Yes it goes on, won't say it does not. And it can be super annoying. But a lot of times policing of trolling-- jumping in and saying this and that is trolling, can kind of cause more trouble. It always leads to a lot snarky/nasty comments.

Pugsy wrote:

Goodbye cpaptalk, hello ApneaBoard. I believe it is moderated. It will be boring.

You won't find me over there. I don't think I would fit in well.

FoggyFroggy wrote: I am disheartened and somewhat fearful that I will now have to rely on a money grubbing DME that does not prioritize my health.

I am not the only person here who can help you sort through your first cpap use nights.
Lots of really good people here who know this stuff just as well as I do but if you run into serious trouble...I am not gone yet as I have some clean up work to do and I will stop by the forum on occasion in case someone is struggling particularly badly.

Plus the people that I have already started to help...I will finish those jobs as best I can.

I just need a vacation from all the stress right now. I am having trouble doing the very thing that I preach about doing when someone annoys someone....ignore them and for right now I can't ignore them like I used to.
I try to practice what I preach and right now it's just beyond my ability to do and stay sane and not come back with my own snarkiness and that's not someone I want to become. It's either that or I just jump on the snarky wagon and tell those that annoy me to just STFU.

I am going to phase out my participation but I am not going to just abruptly quit helping today..
So any of you guys who were actually doing the happy dance I am not gone yet so you might as well quit the happy dance.

And for anyone wondering....Madalot was definitely referring to me in this thread. I had told her (and a few others) yesterday how I was feeling.

I will truly miss you Pugsy, I do read here daily and due to my own laziness and lack of will power I have not gotten on the CPAP bandwagon but always knew that when I was ready to take it seriously that I would be able to count on you and have taken your advice when I was trying. I do try and do okay for days or weeks at a time and then that dang claustrophobia kicks in and I use it as an excuse to give up again for awhile. No one to blame but myself. I have always appreciated how much you help everyone and how patient you are with us when I know at times how frustrating it must be for you when we ask you the same thing over and over and you explain it clearly but somehow we don't get it and ask again but still you are patient.

I do understand you needing the break but sincerely wish it wasn't because of the assholes but because you were taking a well deserved month long vacation to your favorite vacation spot, maybe the beach with your own cabana boy bringing you nice drinks with little umbrellas and fanning you with palm branches and feeding you grapes. Please don't stay away too long and hopefully when you come back I will have kicked myself in the ass and be ready to get serious about my treatment. God Speed to you Pugsy!

I'm so sorry to hear of you leaving Pugsy.

legend says that some times you have to hit a mule right between the eyes with a 2x4 to get their attention. Maybe your leaving will be the 2x4 needed to get some of our mules to pay attention to the way they treat others.

Good luck and thank you for the knowledge you so freely shared.

-Bill

Pugsy wrote:

Goodbye cpaptalk, hello ApneaBoard. I believe it is moderated. It will be boring.

You won't find me over there. I don't think I would fit in well.

You'd probably fit in pretty well. He does have his rules, including not posting links to commercial web sites and not offering CPAP parts for sale or trade. However, the "no asshole" rule is worth it most of the time.

Either way, thank you for all your efforts over the year, deer lady.

Hug a pug a little tighter than usual tonight.

When I first came to the board, Pugsy's comments always stood out as helpful without demeaning the person needing help. I think it is the sign of a good heart, someone that responds to calls for help because the call was heard, not after a litany of field tests to validate if an inquiry is "real" or a "con".

It is always nice to hear that things will get better instead of it's all your fault so you don't deserve help. @Pugsy, I hope you are well and happy in the real world and find joy in all you do.

kind regards,
GB

New poster here. When I came to CPAPtalk in November 2015 I felt overwhelmed, sick with anxiety and helpless with my new diagnosis of sleep apnea.

Minutes after my first post, a few folks jumped in and helped right away. This was my initial experience with this forum.

Pugsy was one of those who immediately showed me how to buy a machine and mask online. Just this simple act helped me feel back in control.

Honestly, I cried tears of gratitude that day.

I will not try to persuade Pugsy to stay. I know how she feels. When I first joined this forum in 2004, there were 2 people -- Rested Gal and Ozij, who helped me as Pugsy has done for myself and many, many others. They finally left too. I helped quite a number of people before I had had enough of it too. Now I rarely come to the forum and even more rarely, post. I just cannot stand the situation here. I do not put myself in the same category as Rested Gal, Ozij and Pugsy. I could never do what they did for the health of this forum, but I know how they felt.
The nastiness and sheer cruelty that happens on this forum is disgusting. It's been around as long as I know and probably longer. Some people have no idea what the real purpose of this forum is. They go on disgusting ego trips. They ridicule new people who ask basic questions. They get just plain mean. I can't begin to guess at the number of people who came here, looking for help, who never came back because of how they were treated. In spite of people like Pugsy, freely giving so much help, the cruel ones chase people away without help.
It is beyond me how a forum, set up to help, can be like this.
Pugsy- if you leave, it MAY be a wakeup call to the idiots who have damaged this forum so badly. Then again, it may not. However, you do what is best for your mental and emotional well being and let the forum go in the direction it is heading, slowly but surely, towards it's demise.

Hawthorne wrote:I will not try to persuade Pugsy to stay. I know how she feels. When I first joined this forum in 2004, there were 2 people -- Rested Gal and Ozij, who helped me as Pugsy has done for myself and many, many others. They finally left too. I helped quite a number of people before I had had enough of it too. Now I rarely come to the forum and even more rarely, post. I just cannot stand the situation here. I do not put myself in the same category as Rested Gal, Ozij and Pugsy. I could never do what they did for the health of this forum, but I know how they felt.
The nastiness and sheer cruelty that happens on this forum is disgusting. It's been around as long as I know and probably longer. Some people have no idea what the real purpose of this forum is. They go on disgusting ego trips. They ridicule new people who ask basic questions. They get just plain mean. I can't begin to guess at the number of people who came here, looking for help, who never came back because of how they were treated. In spite of people like Pugsy, freely giving so much help, the cruel ones chase people away without help.
It is beyond me how a forum, set up to help, can be like this.
Pugsy- if you leave, it MAY be a wakeup call to the idiots who have damaged this forum so badly. Then again, it may not. However, you do what is best for your mental and emotional well being and let the forum go in the direction it is heading, slowly but surely, towards it's demise.

Very, very well said, Hawthorne. Wise words from a very wise woman.

Pugsy wrote:I will be phasing out my participation on this forum because I simply cannot stomach the way things are now.
Yesterday 80% of the posts were shit slinging name calling and had nothing to do with helping anyone except the person trying to get the last shovelful of shit thrown.
.

well that sucks. I'm only an occasional visitor but you were to me always obviously the bones of this group. Thanks for all you did.

Scott

Pugsy wrote:I will be phasing out my participation on this forum because I simply cannot stomach the way things are now.
Yesterday 80% of the posts were shit slinging name calling and had nothing to do with helping anyone except the person trying to get the last shovelful of shit thrown.
.

well that sucks. I'm only an occasional visitor but you were to me always obviously the bones of this group. Thanks for all you did.

Scott

I read the offending post. Didn't see anything offensive. Maybe the comments have been removed. Pugsy, sorry it has come to this. Hate to see you go. Luck to you wherever you land.
Cheers,
otrpu

It's very difficult when you find out that a machine and mask are to become a way of life. Most don't understand what that truly means and are frustrated and frightened. I'm fortunate that I have a doctor that I find knowledgeable and caring. However, had it not been for Pugsy, Robysue and Den (plus a few others along the way), I wouldn't be where I am today. Robysue threw in the towel a year or so ago... now it's Pugsy and Den. The fact that people who didn't know me actually cared about whether I succeeded or not was amazing. They didn't make me feel stupid in spite of the fact that along with getting used to the machine and mask, I wasn't tech savvy and had a heck of a time getting SH installed, let alone learning my way around it.

I find it interesting and amusing that the biggest bullies... you all know who they are... haven't posted in this thread. A few did when this thread first appeared yesterday, then they disappeared. They didn't really disappear, they just stopped posting. I'm so glad because they are finally outing themselves for the miserable people they are.

I have a thought - if someone posts a nasty, uncalled for post and is immediately called out on it... I'm thinking that after a few times that person would stop. Maybe they wouldn't, but IMHO it would be worth a try. I guess you could call that "moderation" of sorts, but there wouldn't be just one or two moderators... there would be many, (most?) hopefully making a safe haven for those who need help and support. Those are my thoughts for this rainy Monday morning... any others?

Where's the offending post?

This forum needs Pugsy. I really need to see that post. Can anyone help?