Way to go - APOLOGY ALSO

[GettingBetter]

The problem with self moderation is that the person must be able to decide that they are out of line. I really think most think they are just facing reality and we are the ones that are delusional, too soft, wanting to be pampered, and whiners. What they don't seem to understand is that people on this side of the fence get just as PO'd as they do and for the most part say nothing if it's not helping. They on the other hand think that what they are doing IS helping. Grow up, deal with it, be an "adult person", just get used to it-they see this as good advice and helping. How do you self moderate if you really think you are right?

If they scare someone off they will never accept that it was their actions that caused it-They were a troll, they will come back when they toughen up, or just make fun of the person-make it the fault of the person that left. Anything but accept that a real person, desperate came here for help and left worse off then when they came.

This is the part that bothers me. Some will tout that the forum provides resources and help that doctors don't/won't provide, "helping thousands" of people in one breath and then berating a newbie in the next. Doctors have Primum non nocere "First, do no harm" to guide them with patients. No such compass or code of ethics exists for forum helpers. In fact in some cases I think the opposite is used Primum nocere!

[Sonnyboy]

Krelvin included Johnny's message in his tnet site:

https://sleep.tnet.com/reference/docs/c ... moderation

Possibly this would be a great sticky.

Thanks for posting this, Sonnyboy- I stand corrected!

Can Krelvin find the date that Johnny G. said/ posted this, and put it in his post to lend validity?

Johnny states '...his approach to moderating is well known...', however I am a fairly new member and do not know the Goodmans, and I'm sure there are plenty of newer members who also do not know them.

I agree this would be a great sticky note

I have emailed Krelvin for the date.
Here is an old version worth looking at:
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=20895&p=179739&hili ... on#p179739
I remember Johnny sent a later version but have not located it yet.

Postby johnnygoodman on Thu Jun 07, 2007 5:01 pm : This is the correct date of the original posting.
Later posts are duplicates of the original from what I can see.

[Julie]

A very special person who does what he says and believes - very rare!

[SleepyEyes21]

Krelvin included Johnny's message in his tnet site:

https://sleep.tnet.com/reference/docs/c ... moderation

Possibly this would be a great sticky.

Thanks for posting this, Sonnyboy- I stand corrected!

Can Krelvin find the date that Johnny G. said/ posted this, and put it in his post to lend validity?

Johnny states '...his approach to moderating is well known...', however I am a fairly new member and do not know the Goodmans, and I'm sure there are plenty of newer members who also do not know them.

I agree this would be a great sticky note

I have emailed Krelvin for the date.
Here is an old version worth looking at:
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=20895&p=179739&hili ... on#p179739
I remember Johnny sent a later version but have not located it yet.

Postby johnnygoodman on Thu Jun 07, 2007 5:01 pm : This is the correct date of the original posting.
Later posts are duplicates of the original from what I can see.

Thanks for the info, Sonny!

[jonny515]

I feel your pain. It's like lot of areas on the internet. There are comments. I have been trying not to read comments. I have still not succeeded in not reading them.

The problem with the Foe list is self control...which is sort of why we all are having this discussion...people are short on the self control thing.
If I use the Foe list (and I do) while we may not see what the "Foe" has said we still see a little message that so and so on your Foe list said something and then we get a choice to "Display the post".
It's real hard to not peek.
Not to mention sometimes people on the Foe list end up getting their entire post quoted by someone not on your Foe list and you see it anyway and your blood starts to boil. or sometimes mine does.

[/quote]

[gosman]

Wow- I haven't been in this forum for awhile- but what a sh....t storm is brewing here! Isn't there an administrator that can cut these people off causing all the trouble?

[JDS74]

Wow- I haven't been in this forum for awhile- but what a sh....t storm is brewing here! Isn't there an administrator that can cut these people off causing all the trouble?

Here's what you can do:

viewtopic/t110025/A-Modest-Proposal.html

[flightco]

Wow- I haven't been in this forum for awhile- but what a sh....t storm is brewing here! Isn't there an administrator that can cut these people off causing all the trouble?

JDS is correct but the problem stems, not always from a rude response but the dialog that continues afterwards. And one persons opinion of what is a rude response is not the same as another's. You might be offended by a response that was not intended that way, you are snarky back, someone else jumps in and we are off and running. As JDS said, ignoring someone you feel is an offender is probably the best way to handle it. There are a few here who just look for the chance to show what an internet bad ass they are but at the same time there are even more passive aggressive types. My ex was passive aggressive, I find that much more difficult to ignore than a simple ass hole.

[PEF]

+1

[tooter]

Wow- I haven't been in this forum for awhile- but what a sh....t storm is brewing here! Isn't there an administrator that can cut these people off causing all the trouble?

This has been referred to several times throughout this post.....

https://sleep.tnet.com/reference/docs/c ... moderation

[FoggyFroggy]

"Love your neighbor and be a neighbor others can love." ~Johnny Goodman

My new favorite quote!

[poppi2]

Back a few years ago, we had Dori. Dori was the "mom" of this board and if Dori got on you, you backed down because, well, she's "mom" and you never backtalk or disobey mom.

We need Dori back, which I know won't happen. And to be honest, some of the personalities now probably would have driven Dori away too.

Thank you for reminding me of Dori. Here is one of her posts in a thread back in 2013:

Never thought my reply would generate so much discussion. I will stand by what I said in my first post, the OP sounded like a two year old having a tantrum, no apologies. IMO there are ways of asking for help, chucking a tanty isn't going to get you the help you really need, but if you ask calmly and politely I find people are more prepared to go that extra mile to help.

Anyway, I would welcome back the OP.

It's really the other way around . When someone comes here sleepless, frightened and with high anxiety, it falls on us to respond calmly and politely to relieve the tension so the OP realizes we're here to help and can absorb what we're suggesting. I can think of quite a few people who started out ranting and raving, (I was one of them but I was lucky to have a few private mentors who patiently dealt with my rants and lost some hair doing it!). The last thing we want to do is chase them away with negative comments.

[PoolQ]

still relevant today!

[SleepyEyes21]

I propose we members move to make a decision on how to handle poor postings in the future, in an attempt to avoid alienating and/ or losing more members.

Janknitz had a good idea of sending 'crickets' to a member via a PM if you felt their response to someone was out of line or too snarky or rude.

For those members not comfortable with private messaging another, my idea is to post a pic/ icon of a cartoon cricket to the member's disturbing reply. Maybe someone can find a funny/ applicable pic that we can all use, or we can ask Johnny G.to allow us to use one like the SPAM & Twitter buttons. We would all agree that if we overuse this button, we would lose our individual usage of it.

So- two questions for my fellow forum members:

1. Do you agree to the use of 'crickets' as a means to signal a member that they may be offending to someone else? YES or NO

2. Are you a forum member that wants to work with other members to find solutions to keep cpaptalk.com functioning without conflict? YES or NO

Thank you for your response!

[Noctuary]

My 2 pesos: Its helpful to remember that many people posting here are tired from our shared ailment. Crankiness should be expected and forgiven.