What the Hell?

Last Friday, we lost a family member who had been for decades in denial about his smoking and alcoholism.
We knew it was coming; but there was nothing we could do to prevent, or even delay it.
He was essentially a decent person, but his demons owned him . . . completely.
We will miss him, but it will be a relief--his pain is over.

queen of darkness wrote: It would be nice to think most other people don't get screwed over this badly.

No you weren't screwed - you are doeing that very well yourself.

And, yes, when I have medical issues and concerns, I always go straight to the engineers for advice, particularly the biochemical specialists. They are just around the corner at the coffee machine. If I want to accomplish something, they always have ideas about how without ever asking why.

Then they are not very competent and extremely ignorant. I wouldn't trust them to change a light bulb.

He lost me with the desk lamp fan and the surgical mask.
Time to log off. This one's pulling our leg.

Running the cpap as a desk fan ( in order to register usage on the monitoring device) was the best idea anybody has come up with.

And the surgical mask -- I might try it -- and it might work. It is the only possible way I would use the cpap for the purpose intended.

I am starting to doubt that anybody on this forum has actually faced the problems I am experiencing.

I have insomnia to the point it is having a profound effect on my life. I am given a machine that is supposed to help me, but it only makes things worse, and costs me money.

I took a test and received a diagnosis that the government views, officially, as a disability.

And you think this is comedy material? Weird.

Queen of Darkness wrote:Running the cpap as a desk fan ( in order to register usage on the monitoring device) was the best idea anybody has come up with.

And the surgical mask -- I might try it -- and it might work. It is the only possible way I would use the cpap for the purpose intended.

I am starting to doubt that anybody on this forum has actually faced the problems I am experiencing.

I have insomnia to the point it is having a profound effect on my life. I am given a machine that is supposed to help me, but it only makes things worse, and costs me money.

I took a test and received a diagnosis that the government views, officially, as a disability.

And you think this is comedy material? Weird.

Lady, this is a forum for people who accept that they have OSA or other sleep breathing disorders and need help and support to learning to sleep with CPap machines. The medical community gives us these machines and tells us to figure it out. NO Support.

You come to this forum talking all crazy.. so good luck using your machine for a desk fan..

Queen of Darkness wrote:
I have insomnia to the point it is having a profound effect on my life. I am given a machine that is supposed to help me, but it only makes things worse, and costs me money.

.

When my machine isn't attached to me, then my machine will actually shut off after a very short time. It won't work as a blower without shutting off automatically. I can't understand how you're using it as a fan, nor how that could benefit you.

From what I've read, it sounds like you tried the machine just one night. I don't see how it's making things worse. I wish you would give it a chance. Your health depends on it. Also, there are many old-timers here who have seen lots of issues and helped many people be successful with this treatment.

Queen of Darkness wrote:Running the cpap as a desk fan ( in order to register usage on the monitoring device) was the best idea anybody has come up with.

And the surgical mask -- I might try it -- and it might work. It is the only possible way I would use the cpap for the purpose intended.

I am starting to doubt that anybody on this forum has actually faced the problems I am experiencing.

I have insomnia to the point it is having a profound effect on my life. I am given a machine that is supposed to help me, but it only makes things worse, and costs me money.

I took a test and received a diagnosis that the government views, officially, as a disability.

And you think this is comedy material? Weird.

You tried it one night. ONE BLOODY NIGHT while you were so stoned out of your mind you probably couldn't find the floor if you fell on it.
Did you learn to drive in one lesson? NO.
Did you learn to walk in one try? NO.

Suck it up buttercup. There are a lot of people in worse shape on this board, who had worse problems. You sound like a whining two year old.

Oh and the data can tell whether or not there is a person breathing on the other end.

Queen of Darkness wrote: I am starting to doubt that anybody on this forum has actually faced the problems I am experiencing.

I have insomnia to the point it is having a profound effect on my life. I am given a machine that is supposed to help me, but it only makes things worse, and costs me money.

QofD,

Although you will choose not to believe it, there are people here who choose to use their CPAP night after night after night for months and years even though they don't feel much of a difference because they know that without it, the untreated OSA will kill them slowly, but surely. And the machine will preserve their life and their health in the long run.

And although you will choose not to believe it, there are plenty of people here who have nightly battles with the insomnia monster.

I'm three years into PAPing and, quite frankly, it's been a difficult three years filled with a lot of insomnia that has had a profound affect on both my life and the life of my family. So don't tell me that I have no idea what you're facing.

Starting CPAP turned my life upside down and started a three month journey into a hell dominated by an insomnia monster unlike any I'd ever fought before, and I'd fought plenty of insomnia monsters prior to starting CPAP. (You have NO idea how hard those three months were for me----you've given up after trying for PART of ONE night.) And yet I kept slogging along putting the damn mask on my nose night after night after night. How did I do it? I did it with a lot of help from my hubby and from the people here because I knew then that I needed to figure out a way to make this crazy thing work. The next three to six months weren't much better as I did hard CBT for Insomnia in my First War on Insomnia. Since then? It's been an on going struggle to keep the insomnia and its accompanying associated circadian rhythm disorder under control. Sometimes I've got it under control for several weeks or months and things seem to be getting better. Sometimes the insomnia or the circadian rhythm disorder have the upper hand and things can get pretty bad if I don't get the help I need----from my hubby, from my sleep doc, and from my friends here. Right now? I"m hip deep in the Second War on Insomnia.

Yeah, that's right. I tried it. It didn't work. I cut my losses, and I am looking for a better solution.

Everybody may not like what I posted, but that's ok.

Over a thousand people have read my post. If I helped, encouraged, or properly warned even one of them, it was well worth checking in.

Insomnia, for a working person, is terrible. Lying in bed for hours, watching the digital numbers change on the alarm clock, knowing that you will be so tired tomorrow that you might fall asleep on your desk, is a lonely feeling

But Cpap is not for everybody. And if your problem is insomnia, Cpap won't help you.

Don't sign on the line if you have any reservations.

Queen of Darkness, I certainly can identify with how difficult insomnia can be, especially for one with work responsibilities. Because so many are reading this thread, I want to put my thoughts out there.

1. Until the known sleep disorders are effectively treated, the insomnia is there to stay. Even after that, the insomnia may linger, but if there's any chance of relief, it will be in resolving those things you know need to be done. You have been diagnosed with a condition that needs treated. The more you sleep the more your condition will adversely affect you. Treating the lack of sleep is not the answer to your problems.
2. While I can be empathetic about a night of misery unsuccessfully trying to use CPAP, I can't garner much sympathy overall. One night does not mean CPAP won't work for you. It just means you had a bad night. It just means you aren't going to be an instant success. If you turn this into a permanent failure instead of a one night failure, that's on you. I had many a bad night struggling with adjusting to CPAP while fighting limb movements. (Check out the video in my signature line.) It is not right to mislead readers into thinking one night is in any way an indication of if you could be successful in the long run. When the times were bad, they seemed to last forever, but in reality, I'm 7 years into very successful therapy, and what I gained by perseverance has literally changed my life. Just wish I'd have buckled down and done it before I lost so much of my health and my career.
3. Doesn't really matter to me if your posts are genuine or not, the topic of the difficulties one can face starting CPAP is very real to many new users. Hopefully someone who reads this will determine in their heart to put what little energies they have left to problem solving. Maybe that someone will be you.

I agree with those who have suggested you do SOMETHING about your OSA. There are other modes or treatment. CPAP isn't for everyone, but I feel you've made a sleep deprived rash premature decision. But hey, it's your decision to make.

49er wrote:Sorry Dori, in rereading what I wrote, I can see how that didn't come out the way I intended as I meant that as a general statement rather than in response to what you wrote. I shouldn't have quoted you. My apologies.

I agree her manner is unusual but in my opinion, it is due to extreme frustration.

49er

I haven't checked in all day so I didn't see this until just now. Thanks for explaining, I'm glad we understand each other now.

Queen, why did you come to this forum in the first place? Really, why did you? Think about it, please, and then tell us calmly and coolly why you came.

Having never spent a night reading tell I was cross eyed with floods of tears flowing from my eyes I know nothing about insomnia and not once have I ever wanted to throw a clock radio across a room at 3 am knowing I need to get up in 3 hours. I have had dr. Offer "sleep aids" and I refused them. Call me totally crazy but I don't want to take something that might mask a deeper condition. We forgot how powerfully the brain is. I can't tell you how may times I have had dreams where I am holding something hot and I wake up with a burning pain in my fingertips. All that to say this. What if there is a deep tie with acute Insomnia and OSA. Is it a big stretch to think our brains might try to force us to stay awake so we don't have really bad apnea events an a big dip in o2 sat. And for mu sleep study it did take 60-90 mnn to get to sleep.

I looked at this site before I got my cpap. I saw positive things about the machine.

When I discovered the cpap would not work for me, I was upset. When I found out I could not get out of the contract, could not return the machine, and was stuck with it, I was more upset.

I wanted to post a warning for others who may be checking this site before getting a machine.

Unbelievable how offensive and upset everybody gets at the suggestion that cpap is less than wonderful.

There were some helpful suggestions made here that I am looking into. Someone suggested a wedge pillow. I found a site where I can order one. It looks comfy. Someone else suggested a dental device. I am looking into that as well. There is a link here that helps me understand the terminology in my sleep study.

I want to do everything I can to preserve my health. I am a 60 year old female. When I was using ambien, people would look at me and say, "you are how old? Oh, you look much younger.". Now that I can't have ambien, my face has swollen, my eyes are dark and hollow.

I was very active. Dance, yoga, wildlife photography, etc. One by one, I have had to eliminate these activities because I spend so much of my time trying to sleep. It takes me 12 hours to get 5 hours sleep.

My stamina and energy are fading. I flunked my last stress test.

So, I was excited when my doctor told me that a cpap would help me. And deeply disappointed to discover it was a fail.

I am checking this site and a couple of others trying to figure out what to do. One thing I never intended, and that was to piss everybody off. People here are so thin-skinned. But maybe they are all tired and miserable because their chosen course of treatment (cpap) doesn't work.

Queen of Darkness,

I think what you may be perceiving as folks getting upset and angry is simply folks who deeply care about someone taking care of their health, especially when someone like you mentions all the symptoms of sleep apnea. But I am happy to hear you are looking into a dental device and not giving up on any type of treatment.

Please do visit the link I suggested and pay close attention to the posts by sleep dent. Because of struggles with pap therapy, I greatly researched this option and if it weren't for sleep dent, I would have been ripped off big time. For various reasons that are too long to get into, I have ruled this out as an option for myself but it is definitely a viable treatment for the right person. He is also very generous in responding to PMS so don't hesitate to ask him any questions that you may have.

Best of luck to you.

49er

PS - I don't think I did provide the link. Here is it is and also a study on the success rates at various AHIs

http://www.apneasupport.org/sleep-apnea ... n-f20.html
https://advancedbrainmonitoring.app.box ... 7pjn8s11y4

Queen of Darkness wrote:I looked at this site before I got my cpap. I saw positive things about the machine.

When I discovered the cpap would not work for me, I was upset. When I found out I could not get out of the contract, could not return the machine, and was stuck with it, I was more upset.

I wanted to post a warning for others who may be checking this site before getting a machine.

Unbelievable how offensive and upset everybody gets at the suggestion that cpap is less than wonderful.

There were some helpful suggestions made here that I am looking into. Someone suggested a wedge pillow. I found a site where I can order one. It looks comfy. Someone else suggested a dental device. I am looking into that as well. There is a link here that helps me understand the terminology in my sleep study.

I want to do everything I can to preserve my health. I am a 60 year old female. When I was using ambien, people would look at me and say, "you are how old? Oh, you look much younger.". Now that I can't have ambien, my face has swollen, my eyes are dark and hollow.

I was very active. Dance, yoga, wildlife photography, etc. One by one, I have had to eliminate these activities because I spend so much of my time trying to sleep. It takes me 12 hours to get 5 hours sleep.

My stamina and energy are fading. I flunked my last stress test.

So, I was excited when my doctor told me that a cpap would help me. And deeply disappointed to discover it was a fail.

I am checking this site and a couple of others trying to figure out what to do. One thing I never intended, and that was to piss everybody off. People here are so thin-skinned. But maybe they are all tired and miserable because their chosen course of treatment (cpap) doesn't work.