Way to go - APOLOGY ALSO

[PoolQ]

Pugsy, I agree some of the stuff is just meant to hurt, humiliate, and make people feel stupid. IF you land somewhere else, I would be honored to know where so I could join up with a more useful place also. I already know about the moderated site and am a member there.

Be well and take care. Thank you for all the help you have given myself and so many others.

[flightco]

I will be phasing out my participation on this forum because I simply cannot stomach the way things are now.
Yesterday 80% of the posts were shit slinging name calling and had nothing to do with helping anyone except the person trying to get the last shovelful of shit thrown.

Anyone want to take on the job of being the home for unwanted cpap stuff?
I am done with it.
I probably will have a final clearance thread and be done with the unwanted cpap stuff job.

Common sense and common courtesy have long sense been abandoned here.
It makes me very sad because it used to be a place that welcomed people and was a fun place to come to.
Just because a person can say anything they want to doesn't mean they necessarily should but if it is more important to be the last shit slinger here....go for it.

Wow, a very sad day for cpaptalk.com. Will anything change your mind?

[chunkyfrog]

One thing we need to do is use our Foe buttons.
(Note to self) if nobody speaks to the cockroaches, they might get bored and leave.

[popcpoo]

Like many others, I will miss you and the common sense answers you have given to people. It will indeed be a sad day when you are no longer giving your great advice and sharing your vast knowledge with the rest of us. I understand your feelings as we can all see the bickering and name calling going on here on the forum. I suppose I've been pretty lucky as I have gotten very good support from my sleep doctor and DME and have not had to rely on much information from the forum. However, I have picked up several good pointers here from you and from some of the older members. If you do go away, you will be sorely missed. Charlie

[Coolsideofthepillow]

This place is an AWESOME resource for those that need it. It's the one place that gives me hope that I can get my apnea under control.

[flightco]

Madilot said
This is EXACTLY the mentality that is responsible for this travesty. Instead of saying "OMG - did I do anything that may have caused this!?!" and evaluate YOUR behavior, you go on the defensive, then attack the messenger. Yes, I called those responsible "idiots" because I'm pissed off and SICKENED by the childish behavior on this forum.

But I also realize that 95% of human beings are this way -- REFUSE to evaluate their own behavior and instead are so sure they are right and have done nothing inappropriate or hurtful.

And I doubt that losing Pugsy will change them. They're too sure of themselves and arrogant (perhaps scared) to honestly look at their behavior. Scared because if they HONESTLY looked at their behavior, they'd realize they aren't very nice people and nobody wants to admit that about themselves. It's easier to remain an asshole.

Since it is exactly this type of comment from many people I will not respond to you other than to say you might want to look in a mirror; you are not exempt.

[BlackSpinner]

It's not any one person's "fault"....it's a combination of things and people and general attitudes about what is "okay to say" no matter how much it might hurt someone.

No it is not the problem. The problem is the narrow minded defenders of the offended. It is them who cause the drama and keep it boiling. They can't shut up until all communications are done in their style. There is a lot written about this for organizations. Simple interactions whether friendly or snippy are never the problem. People work it out and it makes stronger bonds. It is when drama queen Saving World interferes that all hell breaks lose. It is shown on this board monthly. It is always Drama Queen who feels the need to FIX things who really causes the problem. It is a form of troll behaviour that is well documented and it invariably destroys forums. Not the spammer, not the grumpy old fart, not the sarcastic bitch but the so called goody two shoes drama queen. They are like little vampires sucking on the drama of the board/ group. They pave that road to Hell with their "good intentions".

[Madalot]

Nice job. You've chased off the ONE person on this forum that did a ton of good.

All of you that are sarcastic, snarky, or just plain nasty -- you all have turned this place into one of nothing but stupidity and nastiness. If this is what human beings have turned into, I'm ashamed to be among them.

A lot of you need to ask yourself if this is who you want to be as a person.

Again -- nice job.

So who left and why do you think calling people idiots is any different than the very thing you are complaining about? Since Pugsy was here an hour ago I doubt that is who it is. Why the secret?

Here's where I am different from most people on this forum -- I am thinking about your comment and asking myself "Is he right? Was I wrong to call people idiots?" - Perhaps and if that was out of line, I apologize. I'm not sure, but at least I have the decency to question my actions. Therein lies the problem -- most people in the world (and especially on this forum) do not. They are so sure of themselves that they REFUSE to self evaluate.

Losing Pugsy is going to be a terrible blow to this forum. She is the last of the serious veterans that has serious knowledge AND takes the time to help others. I know there are others here that can and will help, but Pugsy is one of a kind and the last of that kind that was here.

[Madalot]

Madilot said
This is EXACTLY the mentality that is responsible for this travesty. Instead of saying "OMG - did I do anything that may have caused this!?!" and evaluate YOUR behavior, you go on the defensive, then attack the messenger. Yes, I called those responsible "idiots" because I'm pissed off and SICKENED by the childish behavior on this forum.

But I also realize that 95% of human beings are this way -- REFUSE to evaluate their own behavior and instead are so sure they are right and have done nothing inappropriate or hurtful.

And I doubt that losing Pugsy will change them. They're too sure of themselves and arrogant (perhaps scared) to honestly look at their behavior. Scared because if they HONESTLY looked at their behavior, they'd realize they aren't very nice people and nobody wants to admit that about themselves. It's easier to remain an asshole.

Since it is exactly this type of comment from many people I will not respond to you other than to say you might want to look in a mirror; you are not exempt.

And exactly why I deleted the post and wrote another one. As Pugsy said - I took the time to read my post, evaluate it and decided it wasn't right. I DID look in the mirror, didn't like what I saw, and changed it.

[PoolQ]

Yea I use it and it helps thin the crap out, I am also sure Pugsy knows about it, I think the main issue for Pugsy is not insulating herself from this, but the effect it has on others especially the newbees that are treated like they are stupid for coming here for help.

I truly doubt that the people she is talking about would care at all if people stopped responding to their posts, they would still crap on anyone they feel is not tough enough to make it in their world. They see the world as a difficult place to get by in, probably because their life was/is, so anyone that seems to be actually asking for help that they feel they never got, needs to be educated in the way it is.

This thread was headed in the usual direction of being attacked and discredited until Pugsy posted. Pugsy, the one with over 30,000 freeking posts, the one who has helped THOUSANDS of people because of her compassion. Unmoderated does not mean to encourage the posting of any kind of crap you want to. This is a forum for Apnea, not for providing a life education for all the people that are judged to be too soft or stupid by a few. Of course they will say who am I to judge them (as happened in another thread) well I am calling for supporting the people that come here for help (what the forum is for) and they are defending their "right" to crap on people which moderated or not moderated is NOT what this forum is for.

[Pugsy]

One thing we need to do is use our Foe buttons.
(Note to self) if nobody speaks to the cockroaches, they might get bored and leave.

Won't work but good idea. There will always be someone who wants to poke back and who also wants to get the last "poke" in. It's probably a side of human nature that isn't very nice.
I do use the Foe button to try to reduce my stress levels by not reading what someone says that in the past has annoyed the crap out of me.

Will anything change your mind?

I don't know. I just don't know. I think I now understand why Rested Gal left (though her reasons aren't the same as mine) in that the forum for her just wasn't a fun place anymore and it was likely affecting her real life in a negative way.

I have turned the PM button off for now...just don't want to deal it right now.
I have some chores on my "to do" list that I need to get done before I go so I will be working on those things (re doing the SH tutorial is one of them since it is way out of date) for the time being.
For now I am still around but won't be as active as I phase out things.

Maybe it is just time for me to retire since the snarkiness hurts me so bad and no one seems to care anymore about who they hurt. It used to be that the snarkiness was the rarity....sadly now it is norm.

[PoolQ]

A few posts up, it has started already, defending what they do to the end. Claiming that Pugsy has it all wrong and they have it right and are justified in acting the way they do to protect the forum. Would be amusing if not so sad.

[OKCSleepDoc]

Pugsy,

I don't think you need to worry about the snarky remarks. It is a bit sad that this is the first impression of many newcomers to the forum, but you are doing a TON of good. I may post from time to time, but I have no where near the dedication/time you have in regards to this forum. I think despite all the criticism, you have to think about whether you are doing more good/bad. In my mind, you are helping way more individuals than those others are hurting. you are a great resource for many patients who suffer from sleep apnea. best of luck!

[Madalot]

I know I started this thread and was wrong to use "idiots" -- and for that, I am truly sorry. I am not deleting it or changing it because warts and all -- I am who I am. And I made a huge mistake with my wording. I let my emotions get the best of me.

Pugsy -- I especially apologize to you because I know this is NOT what you wanted -- people getting into pissing matches over you.

I am not justifying my actions, but as way of explanation -- I am just so heartsick over your departure from this forum for reasons that have already been stated. And as stated, I let my emotions get the best of me.

So in this case, I am one of the "idiots" -- and I see it and accept it.

[BlackSpinner]

A few posts up, it has started already, defending what they do to the end. Claiming that Pugsy has it all wrong and they have it right and are justified in acting the way they do to protect the forum. Would be amusing if not so sad.

Actually nobody has said that. Only you being the "defender of the good" has come along and said that. People have posted their analysis of what has happened. Some of us have disagreed - this is normal human communication and works well as long as the kind of statements you are making don't happen.