Preparing for your own death

Since my tonsillectomy last week, I have not been feeling well. My sleep apnea pressures have gone up markedly and my AHI has gone up markedly as well. I was told my sleep apnea pressures should go down, not go up. I am also feeling much worse sleep apnea wise, marked more fatigue, severe sore throat, malaise, just feel awful. I dont think I was prepared for this surgery.

I came to the realization today that I am near death, I am unwell. I have been having premonitions of my own death since yesterday. I get scared then, because I dont want to die. Im afraid of "dying slow" rather than dying fast and have the gut intuition this surgery made me worse somehow.

Anybody else had death premonitions? I feel so physically and mentally weak I can barely lift my head up to type this. Just totally worn out. I know its still early in my recovery (fourth day) but I was not expecting to feel THIS BAD.

Anyway, anyone else had a surgery that went worse, not better?

thanks,

Eric

Eric,
Can someone get you to the emergency room? Is it possible that you picked up an infection or an embolism or something?
I would get to a medical professional sooner rather than later.

Having had major surgery more than once I can tell you that the worst is not right after surgery but as the healing begins. The swelling associated with surgery can take up to several months to completely dissipate depending on what tissues/structures are involved. When I had my shoulder rebuilt the swelling was not entirely gone for well over six months in part due to the very active PT regimen which kept disturbing things. On the other hand, I had a complete recovery...eventually.

The other often contributing factor is that while you are in hospital you are on one type of painkiller (e.g. morphine) often delivered by I.V. When they send you home it is invariably with something in tablet form. Very different pain relief schema there. And not all the pain killers work the same for everyone. Hydrocodone just makes me silly and stupid to the point where I don't care about pain. Oxycodone on the other hand WORKS and I remain somewhat functional (although I'd never try and drive one it).

Your premonitions of death are not unusual and are likely associated with a form of depression which is not unusual after surgery. Narcotic painkillers can, for some people, make this worse.

Talk to your doctor. Talk to your surgeon. Talk to someone who can do something to help you manage all that is going on for you right now. You DO need to rule out anything untoward going on like an infection or stitches pulling loose or whatever. Get in to the doc ASAP.

Keep the faith...it will most probably get better!

I keep reading that Tonsillectomy at an age as your (44) is traumatic. Why don't you receive medications to knock you out?
In your situation I would wear my chinstrap but NOT use the machine. The chinstrap would keep my throat stable. It's all assuming that I would take 10 mg of Zolpidem (generic Ambien), to fall asleep.

[quote="Suddenly Worn Out"

Anybody else had death premonitions? I feel so physically and mentally weak I can barely lift my head up to type this. Just totally worn out. I know its still early in my recovery (fourth day) but I was not expecting to feel THIS BAD.

[/quote]

You need to call a help line, a friend or get to ER, NOW!
Stop posting and pick up the phone and call some one. NOW!

Suddenly Worn Out wrote:Since my tonsillectomy last week, I have not been feeling well. My sleep apnea pressures have gone up markedly and my AHI has gone up markedly as well. I was told my sleep apnea pressures should go down, not go up. I am also feeling much worse sleep apnea wise, marked more fatigue, severe sore throat, malaise, just feel awful. I dont think I was prepared for this surgery.

I came to the realization today that I am near death, I am unwell. I have been having premonitions of my own death since yesterday. I get scared then, because I dont want to die. Im afraid of "dying slow" rather than dying fast and have the gut intuition this surgery made me worse somehow.

Anybody else had death premonitions? I feel so physically and mentally weak I can barely lift my head up to type this. Just totally worn out. I know its still early in my recovery (fourth day) but I was not expecting to feel THIS BAD.

Anyway, anyone else had a surgery that went worse, not better?

thanks,

Eric

If you're using that APAP in a range of pressures, try switching to a straight pressure.
It could be mis-reading your breathing and bouncing your pressures all over the place, thus severely disrupting your sleep. Have you even looked at any actual reports.......or just numbers in the LCD screen?


Den

.

Yeah, they could but Im not suicidal or thinking about "hurting myself" at all. Im worried they'd just put me in the hospital psych ward for a few days, which Ive managed to avoid so far. Im not one of these "in and out" psychiatric patients. I actually take my medications and go to my appointments and stuff.

Im just friggin sick feeling as hell. I am doped up on percocet. Im just super duper weak feeling. Not even running a fever, either so I know there is no infection. I am upset that my pressures have gone up and that my AHI has spiked very abruptly and suddenly, though. I admit that has got me upset. Im just disgusted feeling.

I have not eaten anything since last night, drank plenty of stuff but not eaten anything today because my throat was so sore and hard to swallow. I am going to make myself eat something very soon, some solid food.

I might take an extra zoloft, Ive already done that twice since Thursday. I was NOT expecting my mood to deteriorate despite staying on my anti-depressant and all medications, that has been a big surprise for me.

I just very abruptly, very strangely, very severely experienced an increase in fatigue, depression, mood, hunger and decrease in quality of sleep despite using my APAP since Thursday night and am unsure what to make of it. I actually feel very relaxed. TOO RELAXED. i dont normally feel too relaxed. I normally feel, "normal."

Im just wondering if Im so friggin worn out and run down, my time is coming in a few weeks or months. Like,what if my pressures and AHI stay elevated? IM SOL then.

Thanks for listening and if i still feel like this after the percocet runs out this week i will give the doctor a call and tell him Im a mess and super fatigued all of a sudden.

Eric

Bons wrote:Eric,
Can someone get you to the emergency room? Is it possible that you picked up an infection or an embolism or something?
I would get to a medical professional sooner rather than later.

Mostly I just look at the numbers every AM. I do a download whenever my sleep medicine doctors do a download or just ask for a copy of theirs. I dont like these current numbers and readings...its WEIRD. I went from CONSISTENT AHI of 1.0 to 3.0 nightly, with consistent 95th percentile of in the 14s,sometimes the 15s. Thursday night, my AHI jumped to 9.0 and its been as high as 12. in recent days. And my nightly pressures are like bottomed out at 19.6 or 19.8.

No leak rates hardly, its like my machine has stopped detecting stuff in a way. This is unsettling to me as i realize it could lead to disability if it continues. I was expecting a PRESSURE DROP.

Eric

Wulfman... wrote:

Suddenly Worn Out wrote:Since my tonsillectomy last week,

If you're using that APAP in a range of pressures, try switching to a straight pressure.
It could be mis-reading your breathing and bouncing your pressures all over the place, thus severely disrupting your sleep. Have you even looked at any actual reports.......or just numbers in the LCD screen?


Den

.

Eric, unless you are a doctor, you need to trust one.
Very soon.

Stop worrying about the "mental health" .

This is a physical thing. It can go down hill fast. You need help. You should be starting to feel better, not worse. Call the hospital and ask to talk to someone and just talk about your physical symptoms if you wish. However the emotional stuff can be due to a drug interaction too.

OK, yeah I dont know whats going on it happened really fast and abruptly. I will eat some food.

Eric

BlackSpinner wrote:Stop worrying about the "mental health" .

This is a physical thing. It can go down hill fast. You need help. You should be starting to feel better, not worse. Call the hospital and ask to talk to someone and just talk about your physical symptoms if you wish. However the emotional stuff can be due to a drug interaction too.

Don't wait for the Percocet to run out. Call for help NOW. There could be some kind of reaction, interaction, or infection that is making you feel this way. Even lack of food on top of taking the meds you have been prescribed could be responsible for at least some of your symptoms.

Please, get help soon. This is not the time to be looking for the kind of help you need on the Internet.

One thing I feel like besides 'too relaxed" is I feel like I got punched in the chest. I dont know what that means, if anything. Chest muscles are all sore for no reason I can discern.

Eric

Suddenly Worn Out wrote:One thing I feel like besides 'too relaxed" is I feel like I got punched in the chest. I dont know what that means, if anything. Chest muscles are all sore for no reason I can discern.

Eric

If your pressure raised it could be due to that. It could also be a sign of infection and a 100 other things. It is also a reason we tell people to go to ER.

My thinking tonight as well. I went all day without food, could not swallow until after I swallowed 800 mg liquid motrin and sucked a bunch of popsycles later today. Ive got a submarine ordered to arrive soon,no salt, no spices, no vinegar to irritate my throat.

Eric

[quote="SleepyToo2" Even lack of food on top of taking the meds you have been prescribed could be responsible for at least some of your symptoms.

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