Unsupportive Spouse (A Brief Rant)

OutaSync · Post by **OutaSync** » Fri Mar 18, 2011 11:06 am

DoriC,

You are a brave soul and you know that we love you. You and Mike are blessed to have each other.

Bev

xenablue · Post by **xenablue** » Fri Mar 18, 2011 11:58 am

I'm so enjoying this entire thread!

Not sure if anyone else noticed, but for a thread that started 2 days ago and has 1078 reads is testimony that many people identify with the OP.

Hugs to you all!

xena

Patrick A · Post by **Patrick A** » Fri Mar 18, 2011 10:55 pm

Some time I believe if it wasn't for "She Who Must be Obeyed" I would have died about 20 years ago. With her nagging , and pushing me to wake me up when I would quit breathing. I would say that, she is very supportive of me.

jmcsmomma · Post by **jmcsmomma** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 6:28 am

DoriC wrote:UPDATE! Well, I must admit I was fearful(I have pretty severe asthma) so I spent a few minutes preparing myself at the side of the bed, put the mask firmly against my face but without straps,set the pressure to 6 and turned the machine ON! After the first jolt of air I involuntarily removed the mask but then replaced it and took a few breaths and after a few seconds it really just felt like a cool breeze from an open car window that wasn't even going too fast. I raised the pressure to 8 and again not too unpleasant. I kept the mask on for quite a few minutes at each pressure and I even tried to simulate a leak, not sure I felt much, but....when I raised it to 10, forget about it! Of course we don't have Flex turned on and I didn't feel like messing with the settings too much so I might have tolerated it better. And of course it wasn't done with me lying in bed trying to sleep! But even this short experiment has been helpful so I have a slightly better understanding of what's happening under that mask and now realize even more what all of you (and my Mike) have really accomplished. You're all amazing and deserve a long life! Thanks to Rested Gal and all of you who got on her "band wagon", you done good! PS: I plan to keep trying until I can actually know what 12 feels like. I can't believe sometimes Mike has to put his hand up to the exhaust to know it's on!

"12" stinks at fist,especially without the EPR set to 3, even 2 is too much for me. If the mask isn't firm firm against my face, it still feels rough sometimes. BUT, sometimes I wake up, upset that I took the mask off unknowingly, and then I realize, it IS on, and so is my machine. You really do get acclimated to it.

360 · Post by **360** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 7:22 am

Just have him read this thread and he'll come around. If he doesn't after reading these posts show him the couch He'll also find that when you sleep you're more than likely a lot more fun to be around if you're anything like me. Take away my sleep and true love is the only reason I'm still married because it surely wasn't my charming disposition most of the time.

Drowsy Dancer · Post by **Drowsy Dancer** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 9:18 am

I am just loving the course of this thread!

As a brief update on Mr. Dancer, he has solemnly promised never again to play a practical joke on me that involves waking me up. The last few days I have taken to explaining, all casual-like, about my sleep-onset centrals and how the machine starts kicking out these pressure pulses and how unpleasant that feels.

I haven't had time to slap the mask on him, but that's coming, believe me! Maybe after our date night tonight.

DD

idamtnboy · Post by **idamtnboy** » Sun Mar 20, 2011 6:57 pm

A few days ago I mentioned a write up I have concerning dealing with change. I've decided to make it available, so here it is. I have revised it specifically for SDB patients. I trust someone will benefit.

Coping with Change for CPAP Patients

DreamDiver · Post by **DreamDiver** » Sun Mar 20, 2011 9:03 pm

Drowsy Dancer wrote:I haven't had time to slap the mask on him, but that's coming, believe me! Maybe after our date night tonight.

I'm very fortunate that my wife is very supportive of my efforts with CPAP. Like so many others on the board, I've got a keeper too. She sometimes calls herself a 'cpaptalk widow' though... That's when I know I've spent too much time on the forum.

WonderlandGirl · Post by **WonderlandGirl** » Sun Mar 20, 2011 9:18 pm

Thank you Idamtnboy for you article. Very much appreciated.

DoriC · Post by **DoriC** » Sun Mar 20, 2011 9:19 pm

Drowsy Dancer wrote:I am just loving the course of this thread!

As a brief update on Mr. Dancer, he has solemnly promised never again to play a practical joke on me that involves waking me up. The last few days I have taken to explaining, all casual-like, about my sleep-onset centrals and how the machine starts kicking out these pressure pulses and how unpleasant that feels.

I haven't had time to slap the mask on him, but that's coming, believe me! Maybe after our date night tonight.

DD

DD, Well, how was your date night? Update Please!

JayC · Post by **JayC** » Sun Mar 20, 2011 9:52 pm

I saved a copy so I can give it the attention it deserves. Thanks for taking the time, and for sharing it, idamtnboy!!

idamtnboy wrote:A few days ago I mentioned a write up I have concerning dealing with change. I've decided to make it available, so here it is. I have revised it specifically for SDB patients. I trust someone will benefit.

Coping with Change for CPAP Patients

Drowsy Dancer · Post by **Drowsy Dancer** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 6:43 am

DoriC wrote:
Drowsy Dancer wrote:I am just loving the course of this thread!

As a brief update on Mr. Dancer, he has solemnly promised never again to play a practical joke on me that involves waking me up. The last few days I have taken to explaining, all casual-like, about my sleep-onset centrals and how the machine starts kicking out these pressure pulses and how unpleasant that feels.

I haven't had time to slap the mask on him, but that's coming, believe me! Maybe after our date night tonight.

DD
DD, Well, how was your date night? Update Please!

Dori, it was delightful. Our children are old enough (16 and 14) that they can be left alone without a babysitter (though we are always alert for the sound of sirens when they are alone together for fear that one will murder the other ). He actually apologized spontaneously for his little prank and we spent much of the evening working on retirement home plans. Still haven't masked him up.

DD

JohnBFisher · Post by **JohnBFisher** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 9:04 am

DreamDiver wrote:... I'm very fortunate that my wife is very supportive of my efforts with CPAP. Like so many others on the board, I've got a keeper too. She sometimes calls herself a 'cpaptalk widow' though... That's when I know I've spent too much time on the forum.

Sounds as if our wives are soulmates! Mine also saved my life by learning about obstructive sleep apnea LONG before most of the medical community knew anything about it. She nudged me into having a sleep study done. As I've noted, 20 years ago that was a very unusual thing to push. But it saved my life. And she still worries about how I sleep and if my sleep is effective. Sometimes she worries more about it than I do!

And since she pushed me to have a sleep study 20 years ago, I see those extra 20 years as a blessing. Sure we have our arguements. You can't get two people living together and not have them. But, I do love her. And occassionally you'll even catch me admitting she is often right.

Glad to see that so many others are fortunate to have a supportive spouse who helped them attain better sleep and health.

Patrick A · Post by **Patrick A** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 4:45 pm

This subject caught my eye while reading the mail this afternoon. I didn't know that Pat had already replied to it but I just thought I would jump in here and say my piece.

I read through all of the posts and am sure glad that the pillow and blanket pranks have been somewhat resolved. No one, no one, likes to be startled awake. Not someone who does not have sleep apnea, nor who does have it. Our sleep is very important to all of us and to have someone deliberately deprive us of it is not playing nice.

Pat was tested for SA many, many years ago and was told he had it....go and be well was the attitude back then. We had Kaiser Insurance at the time. Neither of us knew how serious it was.

I spent "years" of nights, watching him...sleep....nudging, jiggling, clearing my throat, coughing or as a last resort calling out his name him when he would stop breathing.

I am so thankful for the CPAP machines now as I know they have given me many more nights just to watch him..... because I love him and not because I am afraid he will die if I don't.

Spouses.....be thankful, very thankful..............
Evelyn

DoriC · Post by **DoriC** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 5:14 pm

Welcome Evelyn! I can't believe you're really "She Who Must Be Obeyed"! I understand what you mean, I too spent years watching and listening to my husband snoring, gasping, thrashing and waking for bathroom breaks. Now the gentle hum of the machine and his quiet rhythmic breathing are such a comfort to me. Unfortunately, I've have to be the caregiver but it's much better than the alternative. So nice to meet you.

Unsupportive Spouse (A Brief Rant)

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