Why we get so excited about things??!!

There are lots of really intelligent and informed people on this board - more than I have ever seen in one place in recent years. I am really serious about that!

I was thinking about all the bickering threads (although they are really harmless) and it is clear to me that the general feeling is that most of the people here are echoing the same sentiments that seem to be pervasive in the elections of 2010 (this Tuesday) - i.e. - that they are tired of people always telling them what to do. In this instance, it is about medical care - in particular sleep therapy.

I bet that a lot of people came here for the same reason I did. I came here sick and tired of the medical and insurance-DME system and wanted to find and buy equipment online that would allow me to take my therapy into my own hands. I did just that. I found peers that were willing in a selfless way to tell me of their experiences and help me with mine. What a better way is there than to actively take charge of your medical care than that?! It has actually saved me money and improved my therapy. That is the "power" of the Internet.

So when people come around and try to tell us what to think or what to do from the perspective as "professionals", it is natural for people to react in a negative way. Calist was a perfect example of this - albeit the most obnoxious - but not the only one. Please understand that I have absolutely no problem with professionals coming on here as patients - just not as advisors. And there are many fine professionals posting here as that - no "professional" advice given - just personal. I think we sometimes get tired of being talked down to by our doctors, DME, and insurance companies - and just want to relate to each other as "friends in the same boat". That's only fair, and I believe that's what the owners intended when they set this place up.

Unfortunately we have had many people come on here lately and tell us what they thought from a professional perspective - whether it be sleep medicine, law, or even tax accounting (maybe in April)! What these people need to understand is that many of us - not all - are looking for peers to relate to. So all the arguments are really just unfortunate circumstances of the times. The reality is that lot of peer mediated help goes on here. I don't want anyone wandering by to think we flame each other in a sleepless and frantic way.

That's it - nothing profound - just a basic statement that (to quote a very old saying that perhaps dates me) - "we are all bozos on this bus".

well said.............it is why I came--to learn from people like you.

It is sad when people can not disagree with each other with out becoming abusive.

jonquiljo wrote: So all the arguments are really just unfortunate circumstances of the times. The reality is that lot of peer mediated help goes on here. I don't want anyone wandering by to think we flame each other in a sleepless and frantic way.

Disgraceful.

There was a problem i had with some when i first came here....so after my first time horrible experience in the chat room

i just had to post this

i have soooooooooo many other health problems that i have, and meds that i take, between my scheduling/re-scheduling doctors appointments, visiting nurse and physical therapist my life is managable but complicated.

and i know i will get alot of snide remarks for what i am about to say but anyway
so please dont judge me if i cant remember any level numbers, serial numbers, numbers period, models, shapes, colors etc. my Cpap serves the following functions in my life

1. when i go to bed at night
2. when i wake up in the morning
3. when i need new/more parts equipment etc

other than that it sits on the stand next to my hospital bed until i have to repeat those 3 steps. i know i am on 11, i have to attach oxygen to it and make sure the Whisper Swivel is WORKING properly to help get the extra CO2 out of my body. my CO2 levels are almost 3 times a normal size person. so if it sounds like i "dont care" or i am any less than another OSA patient, the so be it.

i am NO CPAP EXPERT. i cannot ansewer or begin to answer what works for some and not for others. if i did i wouldnt need to be here. i am here learning, taking notes and enjoying conversation just like the next person.

i always say "walk a mile in my shoes before you jude or talk about me but at the same time, i personally dont want to walk in yours, cause i am not nor can i ever be you"

it was like i was being called a liar, about having sleep apanea and having insurance, equipment, etc, because i kept saying or putting the wrong machine/equipment in my profile, oh and lying about my insurance coverage and what insurance did and did not cover. i was like damn what is this shit about??

excuse my languare but thats how i felt. i was devisated

so in other words certain people here was getting "EXCITED" about trying to "prove me wrong"

I haven't set foot there (yet) and I don't think I will. The problem with some people, and I'm one of them, is that some of us like to teach. I come from a whole family of teachers. And before I went into industry, I taught high school chemistry and biology. But I couldn't stand the working conditions (essentially being on-stage) and the oppressive atmosphere. Lock the doors if you have to tuck your shirt in. If a female student comes in your room and you're alone, walk outside to talk with her. So I looked around and found the grass was far greener in Industry. So that's where I went.

Problem is, I really miss teaching. I find myself teaching when I don't even know I'm doing it. Whether it's showing the boy scout troop how to tie a bowline or being a guest speaker on high school career days, or whether it's giving a seminar on something at work, or consulting with someone outside of work, I love to teach. And I find I'm doing it here and I have to resist that urge. I was always taught that when you know something, share it with someone that knowledge might help. Otherwise, when you die, all that you've learned dies with you.

I expect that tendency is part of what motivates certain individuals to sort of take over discussions, or to dominate chat rooms. What such people don't seem to comprehend is that their success or failure as teachers doesn't hinge so much on their technical competence or experience as it does their ability to connect with others.

AmyHarper wrote:The problem is that when they try to give advice whether it is medical, legal or otherwise, they get trolled by various people like you and madalot. That forces them to act in a very irrational way.

A very irrational way. I would not say that you are part of the problem, I would say you are a big part of the problem.

Amy, I love your avatar... its darling....

I can assure you, the people attempting to defend themselves above are not trolls, but the ones who did all the attacking certainly were, and it
actually made my heart ache to see madalot suffer so much that she became physically ill.. you may have missed all that happened before that
because you just got here recently....

nobody forces anyone to act irrationally, and certainly not very irrationally... the devil is in the details..

Speaking for myself I'm to sensitive to things I shouldn't be IE with all the praise here for the S9 I feel like an outsider sometimes because I only have a System one

Alas It was what my ins provided

So if someone yells at me for changing my pressure or something then I really feel bad

Oh well I'm a work in progress

Gary

jonquiljo wrote:Please understand that I have absolutely no problem with professionals coming on here as patients - just not as advisors. And there are many fine professionals posting here as that - no "professional" advice given - just personal.

I have absolutely no problem with professionals coming on here whether they are "patients" or not. I have absolutely no problem with their offering professional advice if they want to step out on that limb, whether they are "patients" or not. Actually, more often what they are offering is their opinion. Which, of course, is colored by their experiences as professionals.

A "professional" may offer an opinion (or "advice") I disagree with, but I have absolutely no problem seeing them voice what they think on this forum. I welcome that.

I tend to discount what is said by anyone more quickly if I regard the way it's expressed as condescending or rude, but I still have no problem with the fact that anyone -- professional or not, "patient" or not -- expressed an opinion that might be very different from my own opinion, or offered advice that I was not going to follow.

jonquiljo wrote:Unfortunately we have had many people come on here lately and tell us what they thought from a professional perspective - whether it be sleep medicine, law,

"Unfortunately" ? I don't see that as being unfortunate at all. I like to see what professionals think. I might not agree with what they think. On the other hand, I might agree with what they think, yet not be inclined to apply it to myself.

Since you specifically mention "law", I think you probably have this recent thread in mind:

viewtopic.php?p=534098#p534098
Why it IS illegal - sort of - to change your pressure.
A topic started by xj220c on Sat Oct 30, 2010

I came to that thread late -- didn't see it until late today -- and posted (on page 6) my agreement with what a couple of the other responders (Laurie and cwied) had written:
viewtopic.php?p=534463#p534463

I very much appreciated XJ's taking the time to express his/her professional thoughts. I had absolutely no problem accepting that XJ was offering an interesting opinion based on his/her professional background as an attorney. XJ's topic starting post was a great read. In my opinion. Whether or not the professional is also a "patient."

Gary, I had a system one, that algrithm rocks!

(shhhh.... Im an outsider too , will you be my buddy?)

Yes Amy, you're new and don't know everyone yet, not long enough to realize who's who and ... who isn't , and it can obviously be very confusing I imagine, when you read what sounds like erudite and learned stuff from someone claiming to be a professional (who may, of course, be one ... of some kind) and then see all the flak (to be polite) that is thrown at them by all of us 'trolls'. The thing is, however, we not only do know each other as normally being kind of rational, kind of decent and kind of helpful, but also kind of careful (believe it or not) about going after anyone for nothing... rarely happens, so there must have been a good reason we all picked on this one. If you go back and read the whole thread carefully yourself, you might see where he started out calling us ("patients") stupid. Well that was just not the right thing to do for a newbie. Not even close. And then on top of it, decided he would lay down the law for us and that, too, did not sit right with most of us who've spent a lot of time and effort learning about OSA, Cpap, DME's, local laws, etc. etc. and so we felt perfectly appropriate in calling him some not terribly nice things. You may still not get it (yet), and that's ok, but please, as a newbie here yourself, don't jump all over us until you know more of the whole story. Thank you. And I hope you choose to be friendly here, and we'll be friendly back.

It's all in the way the words are written. It's what our eyes "hear". I believe that if some of these "discussions" were going on in person, people would be more rational in their disagreement. Language is very powerful and can be misinterpreted but seeing a person's facial expression is what we may be missing here. I found XJ's posts to be very interesting and not offensive at all. I learned some things I didn't know and if I'm really interested I'll do some of my own research. Nothing wrong with that.

DoriC wrote:It's all in the way the words are written. It's what our eyes "hear". I believe that if some of these "discussions" were going on in person, people would be more rational in their disagreement. Language is very powerful and can be misinterpreted but seeing a person's facial expression is what we may be missing here. I found XJ's posts to be very interesting and not offensive at all. I learned some things I didn't know and if I'm really interested I'll do some of my own research. Nothing wrong with that.

It is unfortunate that the written word is so often colored by our mood and misinterpretation.

I think XJ has excellent writing & research skills and gave a fair and balanced interpretation.

elena88 wrote:Gary, I had a system one, that algrithm rocks!

(shhhh.... Im an outsider too , will you be my buddy?)

I already am your buddy in spirt I so enjoy your posts and kindness

Gary

AmyHarper wrote:That forces them to act in a very irrational way.

Oh please. Everyone posting here chooses their behavior, they are not forced to act in any particular way.