embarrement with CPAP

SU, I too think they can coexist. For instance, a few years ago the apartment building where I lived went up in flames in the wee morning hours. I ran out in a summer nightgown. Now, I am very grateful I have not lost my breasts to cancer or my legs to diabetes, but I was thoroughly embarassed that others were seeing more of them than I ever wanted to publically expose. But let me be clear, I was embarassed, but I was NOT ashamed. I think the stigmas attached to sleep apnea cause some to actually feel ashamed. I do think it would sad to live with that burden.

I think if and how we respond to those who make inappropriate or inaccurate remarks has to depend on who, when and where. Here's some possible comebacks...

Really? Please send me a link to the literature where you got that information, because it contradicts what I've read and what I've experienced.

I'm hard enough on myself without you adding to it. Did you think that was helpful?

Wow, you really believe that? I can get you some current literature on the subject if you'd like.

How is it you figure you know me better than I know myself?

I'm disappointed that you even thought that, much less said it to me. I thought you knew me better than that.

I guess I shouldn't expect you to understand what you haven't experienced.

You do know you are wrong about this, don't you?

Gee, I've always considered you to be very current. I'm surprised you aren't up on current thinking on this topic.

Ok, I've been out in left field before. I think we are talking about 2 (two) Different things here.

Kt, I understand what you are saying but I think you were embarrassed about one thing and grateful about something different from what you were embarrassed about. So you were embarrassed and grateful "at the same time" about different things. Which may be what SU was saying? Yes? No?

You were embarrassed that you were exposing too much skin but grateful to still be alive. Yes? No? See to me that is different. Oh well.

And to be clear on my other post - the "you" is generic. So read it as I don't care what others think. That puts too much pressure on ones self cuz what "you" imagine they are thinking - is likely just NOT what they are thinking. And you would have to ass-u-me they even care about you or what you are doing.

kteague wrote:SU, I too think they can coexist. For instance, a few years ago the apartment building where I lived went up in flames in the wee morning hours. I ran out in a summer nightgown. Now, I am very grateful I have not lost my breasts to cancer or my legs to diabetes, but I was thoroughly embarassed that others were seeing more of them than I ever wanted to publically expose. But let me be clear, I was embarassed, but I was NOT ashamed. I think the stigmas attached to sleep apnea cause some to actually feel ashamed. I do think it would sad to live with that burden.

I think if and how we respond to those who make inappropriate or inaccurate remarks has to depend on who, when and where. Here's some possible comebacks...

Really? Please send me a link to the literature where you got that information, because it contradicts what I've read and what I've experienced.

I'm hard enough on myself without you adding to it. Did you think that was helpful?

Wow, you really believe that? I can get you some current literature on the subject if you'd like.

How is it you figure you know me better than I know myself?

I'm disappointed that you even thought that, much less said it to me. I thought you knew me better than that.

I guess I shouldn't expect you to understand what you haven't experienced.

You do know you are wrong about this, don't you?

Gee, I've always considered you to be very current. I'm surprised you aren't up on current thinking on this topic.

What's the matter, are you jealous 'cuz I get a b*** j** all night long.... just in a different orifice; that prolongs my life?

Patrick A wrote:What's the matter, are you jealous 'cuz I get a b*** j** all night long.... just in a different orifice; that prolongs my life?

Patrick In the corner! Now!

Jaylee wrote:

Patrick A wrote:What's the matter, are you jealous 'cuz I get a b*** j** all night long.... just in a different orifice; that prolongs my life?

Patrick In the corner! Now!

Your lucky day Pat? lmao .... next....

Maybe, If you're real lucky you'll get a spanking too....lmao.

Now YOU can be emabarr-assed AND grateful....lmao

I could go on and on.

There is obviously great stigma associated with being overweight, and when a person is overweight AND has conditions that are often related to being overweight (even if not exclusively caused by it), they are judged negatively for it. I once heard a woman who had a child with Type I Diabetes rant about people with Type II Diabetes making sympathetic comments as if they have something in common with her child. She said, "Don't tell me you know what it's like! YOU couldn't push yourself away from the table! HE didn't ask for this!" In short, the view is that being overweight is within a person's control and therefore a choice, so any conditions potentially caused by being overweight are, to some extent, asked for (if not deserved). Basically: "You made your bed, now lie in it." The next step in the same line of thinking is: "If you don't like lying in this bed, then remake it and you won't have to lie in it."

Of course it is true that someone could lose all their excess weight and STILL have apnea or diabetes or hypertension. But until a person who is overweight loses their excess weight, trying to convince people that their apnea MIGHT not be any better even IF they lose the weight is an argument that will likely fall on deaf ears. If they do lose weight and there's no improvement, they aren't blamed for their problem, having appeared to have done all they can about it. Still, don't expect any sympathy then either, as there is no great sympathy for thin people with invisible disabilities. They may appear to be the picture of health, and no one feels sorry for someone who looks better than they do. (In fact, I'd venture a guess that if they are thin enough to be the envy of most of their friends, it's considered a little bit fair if they have some bad luck to offset all that enviable thinness!)

In short, you can't win if your goal is to please and justify yourself to others. So the real question is: Is there anything I can do to potentially improve my health for my own sake?

My two cents.

I see a lot of black and white, either/or, all or none thinking on this forum when it comes to CPAP. I think it's possible to be angry/sad/depressed/confused/etc about the diagnosis and its therapy AND still participate in one's therapy. I think it's possible to be embarrassed to be seen in a mask and still be glad that there's an available therapy to address your symptoms and health issues.

On the other topic of shame/guilt:

I also think it's possible to simultaneously (1) argue that not everyone who has apnea is overweight, and therefore it's not necessarily true that your weight gain caused your apnea and that, if you lost weight, you'd be "cured", AND (2) secretly harbor some feelings of shame that perhaps you are to blame for this disorder, and to feel guilty and ashamed that you haven't lost weight.

GumbyCT

Blow by Blow....?

Generally speaking, I think many people are ashamed (or embarrassed) they are not seen as perfect if they admit to a defect, such as OSA.

Others maybe need to feel pretty when they sleep. I don't.

I am far from perfect and won't carry that burden.

Blow by blow - slowly I turn and get off to get some....


Sleep silly.

Get a grip .... on your mind lol if you can

Just today my boss mentioned how thankful she is that I was diagnosed with OSA. Apparently I was a wee bit moody when I wasn't getting good sleep.

Jaylee wrote:Just today my boss mentioned how thankful she is that I was diagnosed with OSA. Apparently I was a wee bit moody when I wasn't getting good sleep.

Oh YES - Mood swings and irritability are part of OSA too.

You can see it in some postings on this forum.

I still remember the newbie that got upset when called a newbie....lmao.

GumbyCT wrote:
I still remember the newbie that got upset when called a newbie....lmao.

which one? the one today or yesterday or the day before ? I lose track of all of them

GumbyCT wrote:

Jaylee wrote:Just today my boss mentioned how thankful she is that I was diagnosed with OSA. Apparently I was a wee bit moody when I wasn't getting good sleep.

Oh YES - Mood swings and irritability are part of OSA too.

You can see it in some postings on this forum.

I still remember the newbie that got upset when called a newbie....lmao.

And here I thought it was just part of my natural charm. I deal with grouchy people all day long, so I normally do not even notice it here.

As a person who has spent many years working with people with physical /mental disabilities I see no difference between myself and them. My clients need devices to help them survive and so do I. I have from time to time run across rude people that make comments about them or their disabilities. Never hear it about mine but then my device is not used during the day when there are a lot of people around.

Laura

I was really never embarrassed after I got diagnosed with OSA. As a matter of fact I was rather relieved that I was able to find out why I was always wanting to sleep, and or wake up eight or nine times a night. Or to have my wife mad at me because I would sit at the dining room table and fall asleep while i was having a conversation with her. To make matters worse a couple of times she came home from work and found me basically unconscious in my chair because I was asleep and my blood sugar was so low that she couldn't wake me up.
What really upset me was I went to Kaiser Hospital in San Diego, Ca. In 1988 and had a sleep study done. Kaiser Hospital basically told me to go home and be well. But I had Sleep Apnea. They did nothing to get me into any kind of treatment. It wasn't until 2005 that I was sent for another Sleep Study,that something was done to get me any help of any kind.

If anyone asks me about my Bi-Pap machine that I have in my RV I will tell them what it's for. Most of the time they say "Oh I would have never guessed that you had Sleep Apnea" because I don't sit there and go to sleep while talking to people any more.

I take pride in being Crude, Rude & Socially Unacceptable.