Help getting wife to use her CPAP

BobF4 · Post by **BobF4** » Sat Apr 07, 2007 4:03 pm

Right now, she is doing auto-titration.....in laymans terms, she is testing herself at home. Her machine fluctuates during the night, with a low pressure of 8 and a high of 20. But, as I said before, that fluctuates during the night. She has not even put the mask on in order to use the Ramp button. If her mask has been on for 5 seconds total, then that's all.

And I'm used to arguing with her from time to time, so I am somewhat used to it.

The system data I show on my account is my own, not hers.
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CPAPopedia Keywords Contained In This Post (Click For Definition): Ramp, auto

Linda3032 · Post by **Linda3032** » Sat Apr 07, 2007 4:22 pm

Well, she's a stubborn woman.

Just ask her every night if she would like help or not. If not, then just accept that -- let her doctor give her "what for" when she admits that she hasn't even attempted to use the machine.

We can't help our drug addict son either -- it has to be his decision.

BobF4 · Post by **BobF4** » Sat Apr 07, 2007 4:34 pm

I almost forgot. My own therapy is going well. I neglected to go to my doctor's for the yearly checkups. I kept forgetting them until this year, when I made the appointment for my wife. The doctors were surprised my Smart card captured almost 3 years of data, sicne the last tiem I swapped out the card for my machine provider. They said the stats showed my usage was very good.

I've had no problems adjusting to my mask, and never used my own Ramp button. Until January of this year, I had been using only a passive humidifier. My sleep center saw this, then gave me a normal heated humidifier. Its helped a lot, just all by itself.

teach · Post by **teach** » Sun Apr 08, 2007 9:12 pm

I am still dealing with the idea of being a "hose head". I couldn't think of anything less sexy than snoring and being connected to a machine that sounds like Darth Vader! Does you wife have any of these issues? You sound like a very kind person but reassurance is always welcome!

bskrichardson3 · Post by **bskrichardson3** » Mon Apr 09, 2007 8:33 am

[quote="BobF4"]My wife was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea. After failing to finish her second (titration) sleepover, the local Sleep Disorders Center prescribed her a CPAP, that auto-titrates, thus giving them the information they need to determine the prescribed pressure. My wife refuses to put on her mask and use the machine. Does anyone have any tips for coaxing her to use the machine? I have had a CPAP machine for 4 years, and didn't have this issue.

Julie · Post by **Julie** » Mon Apr 09, 2007 11:05 am

Hi, sorry to hear about your problems, but has anyone suggested that you try pulmonary physiotherapy? They use it for cystic fibrosis in particular to help get mucus out, and in other similar problems, which you seem to have. Your MD could refer you for a session or two to see if it helps.

blarg · Post by **blarg** » Mon Apr 09, 2007 12:48 pm

My approach would be to start with it during the day. I would ask her to put the mask on and turn the machine on, and watch some TV (say 15 minutes worth) with it on. This would at least trigger a knee-jerk "Why would I do that?" "Because I care about your health and want to see you happy." "No, you're controlling me." etc. Then maybe you can get down to the root of what's going on.

It really sounds like the "I can't breathe" is an excuse and that she's pushing you away every chance she gets. Perhaps addressing the issue when it's not bed time would lead to the actual underlying argument, instead of dead ending you with more excuses.

TXKajun · Post by **TXKajun** » Mon Apr 09, 2007 3:12 pm

Heck, Bob. This is easy to answer.

All you have to do is order a bunch of info and applications on life insurance. Then, when you start getting in the life insurance information and applications (for a minimum of a million dollars), just let her see you looking through it and filling out the applications in her name.

When she asks what's going on, tell her that if she won't use the APAP, then you may as well get some $$$ back on her death. (Tongue planted firmly in cheek).

Kajun

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CPAPopedia Keywords Contained In This Post (Click For Definition): APAP

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:00 am

Well, yesterday, when both she and I were off, we came to a sort of breakthrough. We talked, and I showed her how to adjust it, and even adjusted it for her.

When she went to bed, she tried on the mask, and, the same old thing happened. We really didn't argue so much, but she still didn't use her machine. She said she couldn't breathe, and she didn't like the way the mask "hugged her face." She jokingly said she should use MY mask.

Well, me being prepared (not to mention using my own machine for 4+ years), I had a spare mask handy, which I quickly hooked up and had her try on. Unfortunately, I got the same response to it as I did to her mask (which is a ComfortGel mask).

I think the best solution might be a nasal pillow mask system. So, I will work on getting her to call the Sleep Center and get another mask. I know it's going to be more expensive, but we have to do it, in order to get her the treatment she needs.

BobF4 · Post by **BobF4** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:01 am

Whoops, that last post was from me. I forgot to log in.

SelfSeeker · Post by **SelfSeeker** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:05 am

Bob,

Thank you for the update.

Sorry to hear about the struggles with your wife. Hopefully your wife, will feel comfortable with a mask and the idea of being hooked up.

telly · Post by **telly** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 1:46 pm

Anonymous wrote:Well, yesterday, when both she and I were off, we came to a sort of breakthrough. We talked, and I showed her how to adjust it, and even adjusted it for her.

When she went to bed, she tried on the mask, and, the same old thing happened. We really didn't argue so much, but she still didn't use her machine. She said she couldn't breathe, and she didn't like the way the mask "hugged her face." She jokingly said she should use MY mask.

Well, me being prepared (not to mention using my own machine for 4+ years), I had a spare mask handy, which I quickly hooked up and had her try on. Unfortunately, I got the same response to it as I did to her mask (which is a ComfortGel mask).

I think the best solution might be a nasal pillow mask system. So, I will work on getting her to call the Sleep Center and get another mask. I know it's going to be more expensive, but we have to do it, in order to get her the treatment she needs.

OK, her problem is the mask. A "Comfort" Gel is anything BUT comfortable. I had one of those things and I only tolerated it. After I got my Swift Nasal Pillows, it's made a WORLD of difference for me. Few leaks, much less bulky, no nose bridge, can sleep on my side. I have a much better attitude about my therapy with this new mask. Please have her try a nasal pillows system like the Swift. She'll thank you later.

BobF4 · Post by **BobF4** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:28 pm

I have no doubt she would benefit from the nasal pillow system. She doesn't want to call the Sleep Center for some unknown reason. I really wish she'd call them, so she can get the treatment she needs. She tells me we can't afford it, but I know we can. I tell ya, I can't win for losing.

Linda3032 · Post by **Linda3032** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:06 pm

There probably is just no arguing with her. She has made up her mind. Even though:

1. The sleep center would switch out her mask at no additional charge.

2. You can ill afford the medical bills when she has a stroke or heart attack because she won't get therapy for her sleep apnea.

3. With therapy, she will feel better than she has in years.

Guess the old saying is true: "You can lead a horse to water, but -----".

Sorry Bob.

JeffH · Post by **JeffH** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:23 pm

Why not show her the forum and have her introduce herself. We won't give here too hard of a time....promise.

Mask	Humidifier

Additional Comments: 15,332 hours on old machine (RemStar Pro with C-flex; received 3/3/2003, retired 10/5/2010)

Mask

Additional Comments: Equipment isn't correct, S9 ASV w/H5i

Help getting wife to use her CPAP

wife

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