Bed situation: Older married couples only

General Discussion on any topic relating to CPAP and/or Sleep Apnea.
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RedBackFur
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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by RedBackFur » Wed Jan 20, 2010 12:55 am

Can't be legally married, but after 26 1/2 years together, I'd say we're close to an "older married couple".

Bed: European Sleep Works (http://www.sleepworks.com/) Queen-sized. (I'm 5'9" 215, partner is 6'1" and 185). That bed is pure heaven. The slat system allows adjustments depending if you are a side, back or stomach sleeper.
Pillows: NovaForm (http://www.sleepinnovations.com/pillows.html#contour) Memory foam. So far, works the best for both of us.
Air-blast Issues: He just pulls the sheet up over his neck a bit, and that seems to prevent any issues with the windchill factor, but my pressure averages around 11.5 or so.
Noise: I think the most noise there is comes from me jiggling the mask if I start any air leaks from the pillow pushing my mask out of alignment, etc.

The xPAP made sleeping easier for my partner as I no longer toss and turn, get up to pee 5 times a night, twitch, snore, stop breathing, and cough/gag from reflux, and who knows what else. My APAP is so quiet that neither of us can even hear it when the furnace is going, so no issues with sound there.

After sleeping together in the same bed for long, I found it difficult and depressing to sleep alone and am very grateful to have this life-changing little piece of machinery allow us to again sleep together. Pre-Sleep-study life was difficult as I would awaken at night to find him sleeping in the guest room because my snoring/twitching, and restlessness kept him awake.

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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by Marietjie » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:02 am

Older married couples only = 40yrs for us this year.
No ways will I ever, ever sleep with anyone on the same bed and in the same room. (Since on cpap therapy, I am in my own room)
We are both very happy with this arrangement (change)
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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by dwsupt » Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:52 am

LinkC wrote:Get an extra pillow. Place it on edge between your pillow and his. You can turn to any position you want without blowing air on him.
ditto- WORKS FOR US

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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by janeysmom » Thu Jan 21, 2010 12:16 pm

Love this topic! I am the snorer and in the last two years we have not slept together much at all! We went with the separate bedroom thing too. And we have only been married for 4.5 years!! I do not have my machine yet but am hoping that when I do, we can go back to sleeping with each other again. I miss it yet as others have said it is much important for the both of us to get our sleep then necessarily sleep together because society says we should!
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allinknots
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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by allinknots » Fri Jan 22, 2010 8:39 am

RedBackFur wrote:Can't be legally married, but after 26 1/2 years together, I'd say we're close to an "older married couple".

Bed: European Sleep Works (http://www.sleepworks.com/) Queen-sized. (I'm 5'9" 215, partner is 6'1" and 185). That bed is pure heaven. The slat system allows adjustments depending if you are a side, back or stomach sleeper.
That bed looks fabulous! I wish I could join a bed-of-the-month club, and have companies deliver a different bed for us to try each month for the year. Then we could decide which one would be best, and purchase that one!

Anyone want to invent this club? (Of course then there's the matter of what they would do with all those slightly-used beds, and the costly shipping. Details, details...)

Remember, it was my idea, so as the inventor, I get the year for free!

,
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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by PaJoe » Wed Jan 27, 2010 6:52 pm

We need to replace our queen size mattress and box spring, they don't seem to hold up well for us. Usually every few years we need to replace them, I was looking for recommendations and bumped into this thread. We were married in 1975 and although we were not fat back then, we are now - I am about 280 and my wife is probably 225-250 range. We both use cpap; me about 10 years and my wife about 5 . We use Acclaim 2 masks, not much air blowing out to bother the other person with that mask and it's diffuser. We use over the head type hose suspension with a swivel connector, kinda like a fish on the end of the line, we can flop around all night and not have the hose get in the way. We work different shifts and only get to sleep together on the weekends and vacation days etc, and yes we do wake each other at times - it was worse when the dog was still alive. The biggest problem we have is with the covers, even though we use a king size setup on a queen size bed we still run into the problem of the disappearing covers, my wife insists it's me and I think it is her but covers migrate away from me to the point I an no longer covered, so I grab it and pull it back over me, which wakes the wife so she pulls it back over her. The only time we may sleep separately is if one is sick, coughing a lot etc and doesn't want to keep the other awake. Twin beds were popular on TV when I was younger, you never saw a married couple in the same bed.


joe

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RedBackFur
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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by RedBackFur » Wed Jan 27, 2010 7:10 pm

You could always push 2 twin beds together, their own sheets. Then no one could steal covers!

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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by Froro » Wed Jan 27, 2010 9:51 pm

Not sure if 18 years together qualifies but what the heck.

I was in a terrible car accident back in 2001. Initially I slept on the sofa so I could prop myself up and try to sleep somewhat pain free. After that husband started travelling often and I got used to sleeping by myself. After that, my snoring kept him up so badly that neither one of us was sleeping well so while we may have started in the same room I'd pretty much move to the sofa or just not bother going up to bed.

Since starting cpap almost a year ago, we are now once again in the same bed. Now his occasional snoring keeps me up...LOL. It was an adjustment being back in the same bed but now when he travels I miss having him beside me and given I've been on the sofa again the last two weeks trying not to infect him with my stupid bronchitis, I can't wait to get back into bed again.

Since starting the cpap I don't snore anymore so that doesn't bother him. He is used to sleeping with a fan so the faint noise from the mask doesn't bother him at all. Once in awhile I blow on him but he just nudges me or pops a pillow up. It's nice to be back in the same room. We have a queen bed and have thought about a king but I adore my bedset and waited a decade to afford it so I'm not giving it up. We looked at getting a sleep number bed to avoid waking each other up but didn't like it when we tried it at a hotel one night. We just bought a queen with a pillow top and we barely feel each other moving around anymore.

Also we switched sides when I moved back into the bedroom. I'm used to sleeping on my left and I kept flipping over to my left and blowing on him. After we switched I just naturally roll to my left now and don't bother him as a result. It was a bit of an adjustment but it's working now.
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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by gasp » Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:17 am

PaJoe wrote:We need to replace our queen size mattress and box spring, they don't seem to hold up well for us. Usually every few years we need to replace them, I was looking for recommendations and bumped into this thread. We were married in 1975 and although we were not fat back then, we are now - I am about 280 and my wife is probably 225-250 range. We both use cpap; me about 10 years and my wife about 5 . We use Acclaim 2 masks, not much air blowing out to bother the other person with that mask and it's diffuser. We use over the head type hose suspension with a swivel connector, kinda like a fish on the end of the line, we can flop around all night and not have the hose get in the way. We work different shifts and only get to sleep together on the weekends and vacation days etc, and yes we do wake each other at times - it was worse when the dog was still alive. The biggest problem we have is with the covers, even though we use a king size setup on a queen size bed we still run into the problem of the disappearing covers, my wife insists it's me and I think it is her but covers migrate away from me to the point I an no longer covered, so I grab it and pull it back over me, which wakes the wife so she pulls it back over her. The only time we may sleep separately is if one is sick, coughing a lot etc and doesn't want to keep the other awake. Twin beds were popular on TV when I was younger, you never saw a married couple in the same bed.


joe
Since we have super wide and super long beds I sewed two king size top sheets and duvet covers together. I tuck them in around the edges and we have eliminated the magic disappearing cover trick during the night : )

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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by rubymom » Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:01 pm

Can I just say how heartwarming it is to read so many posts from both husbands and wives who are totally devoted to their spouses after so many years. Couples who WANT the closeness of sleeping together. I love it!

I'm 49 years old and never married. But I think I'm heading there (finally!). I figure once I do, I'll be part of an older married couple (since I'm such an old fart) even though we'll be newlyweds!

Thanks for sharing.

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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by Slinky » Fri Jan 29, 2010 7:00 am

Ah, how times change! When hubby and I first married, believe it or not, we slept quite happily and comfortably together on a rollaway cot! Yeah, twin size! Eventually finances did allow us to buy a double bed. We've been married 46 years this year. But we sleep in a queen size bed now w/king size top sheet, blankets and covers.

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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by gasp » Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:30 am

Slinky wrote:Ah, how times change! When hubby and I first married, believe it or not, we slept quite happily and comfortably together on a rollaway cot! Yeah, twin size! Eventually finances did allow us to buy a double bed. We've been married 46 years this year. But we sleep in a queen size bed now w/king size top sheet, blankets and covers.
I remember doing that! When we first got together, my hubby crawled into my twin size daybed (that I liked because it gave me more room in the bedroom) and we slept perfectly cozy. We eventually spread out and wanted a bigger bed, but that first year we were like attached twins : ) Recently we spent some time in a hotel room on a queen size bed and you'd think we were being abused we howled at how uncomfortable it was. I like envisioning you as a couple happily snuggled up on a queen size bed!

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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by Patrick A » Fri Jan 29, 2010 12:02 pm

gasp wrote:
Slinky wrote:Ah, how times change! When hubby and I first married, believe it or not, we slept quite happily and comfortably together on a rollaway cot! Yeah, twin size! Eventually finances did allow us to buy a double bed. We've been married 46 years this year. But we sleep in a queen size bed now w/king size top sheet, blankets and covers.
I remember doing that! When we first got together, my hubby crawled into my twin size daybed (that I liked because it gave me more room in the bedroom) and we slept perfectly cozy. We eventually spread out and wanted a bigger bed, but that first year we were like attached twins : ) Recently we spent some time in a hotel room on a queen size bed and you'd think we were being abused we howled at how uncomfortable it was. I like envisioning you as a couple happily snuggled up on a queen size bed!

I remeber situations like above.....

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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by Muse-Inc » Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:17 pm

The stairs they make for pets work great! As our cats aged, jumping onto the bed wasn't as easy and with a life-long habit of sleeping with your person when they couldn't jump up, the cats weren't happy...neither was the cat person
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Re: Bed situation: Older married couples only

Post by cpap-wolf » Sat Jan 30, 2010 4:27 am

Ok I am not classed in the older married couples!! However do feel this a valid post.

When I first started my CPAP me and my partner had a twin bed and it was a nightmare as my partner would complain about the air blowing out the mask or if I moved and the mask loosen then would get a full wack of air! However, we went onto a queen size bed and that made a lot of difference! However, have to admit it is not too much of an issue anymore as my partner also has to use a CPAP as well.

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