Bed situation: Older married couples only

My partner and I are not married, but we are older.

Two extra longs twins = king size. My grandparents used one for many years. The bed frames were on wheels and the frames were hinged on the headboard -- the beds could be swung outward to make the beds. You can either use king size bedding or you can use xl fitted sheets and either xl twin or king top sheet. You also have a choice of two xl twin or a king bedspread. Besides the swing out headboard, you can also get head boards that leave a space between the two twin beds. The ultimate king sized bed would be two xl twins that can be pushed together to make a king sized bed and can be pulled apart while sleeping.

My partner and I have a queen sized bed and we wake each other up. We have a time share with a king bed and the larger bed makes a world of difference; we don't wake each other up. Our queen bed at home is crowded, but the king bed seems huge.

I'm not sure I'm old enough nor married long enough for you to consider my opinion valid, but we had the same problems. We got a Tempur-Pedic mattress so I wouldn't feel him rolling around as much, and I sleep in a position that doesn't blow air on him--either facing away from him, on my back, or facing him with our heads fairly far apart (you can't feel the breeze from my mask from more than a foot or 18" away).

We have a queen-sized bed but we are both fairly short.

My partner and I are both over 6 foot tall and we each weight about 250# ...

Been married almost 35 years here and on CPAP therapy for last 15 so I guess I am qualified to answer.


I have blown my fair share of moisture at my hubby and he is less than thrilled with it. I also toss and turn more and disrupt his sleep with my PILM.

We went from a Queen bed to a Queen plus about 4 years ago. It was 8 inches wider than a Queen and we LOVED IT! However it had a problem with a divet...we each developed our own "depression" in the bed and then we both had back aches. So it went back and they no longer make that size. Our bedroom furniture wont' configure for a King so we went back to Queen. We are doing ok, but I will say he is on my half of the bed more often than he was with the Queen Plus.
We sleep great in a King when we travel.
I believe I would prefer that to separate beds and separate bedrooms.

Yes, they do make mattresses where you each can get your own degree of hardness..just found that out when our soon to be married son was mattrees shopping the last couple of weeks.

As for the last option, separate bedrooms, that would be a last resort at our house, but something we would definately do if we needed to. Getting adequate sleep is that important. But I would start with a new King size bed first.

The tempurpedic mattress is the clear answer to keep you together. You absolutely will not feel the partner moving around or even in and out of bed.

Choose the size based on your room size, your own sizes, and need for space. I

t's more expensive than other mattresses, but worth every penny.

just putting in my 2 cents worth....

We just celebrated 10 years of marriage on 1/15, so I think that qualifies as married! lol

We have a king sized mattress that we bought after my hysterectomy, Sept. 09. Prior to that we had a waterbed that was mostly waveless, but because of the surgery it was either me keep sleeping in my daughter's room on her bed and her on another bed OR buy a new mattress. So hubby opted to buy the new bed. (He was tired of the waterbed upkeep anyhow.)

I sleep with 2 pillows under my head, a huge body pillow and a little travel pillow turned lengthwise near my head pillows. I needed the body pillow after my surgery to rest my leg on to keep my body aligned so it wouldn't pull down my incision and I just really got used to it. (I think they really do help your spinal alignment.)

I have my hose running under the bottom head pillow and over the top down to my face. For the most part, with all of this set up, hubby rarely feels the cool air on him. I, however, feel the air when it bounces back on me from hitting the pillows or my hand if it's up near my face. I annoy myself! lol

Add to all of this, we work different hours. I work in the am and he starts work at 1pm, so we are constantly trying to not wake the other one up! We got a really good mattress (I think it was 1799. or so.) but it was worth it. You really can't feel the other one shifting around. Pulling the blankets is another story, though. lol

I wouldn't mind having my own bed though, if it ever came to that. Not much of a snuggler at bedtime. I just wanna go to sleep! And I wouldn't care what everyone else thought.

allinknots wrote:My hubby and I have been married for 30 years, and we have two grown children. We have always slept in the same bed together. As the years are going on, we find that we are waking each other up every night for one reason or another. My hubby wakes me up because he is a tosser and turner and loud sleeper (he needs a sleep study, but that's a whole other topic!). I wake him up because the air I'm exhaling from my mask is cold and/or feels like a breeze to him. This is a sample scenario: I turn in my sleep, roll over towards him. Cpap air blows towards my hubby. It wakes him up a bit, he rolls over and/or sighs loudly in his sleep. This wakes me up. I roll over and try to get comfortable. This wakes him up. He tries to get comfortable, can't get right to sleep, lets out a slight grunt. Noise wakes me up, I roll over, end up towards him breathing cpap air on him, which wakes him up, etc. You get the idea.
All-in-Knots (still love my hubby, just need to get some sleep!)

Boy does this sound like us!

We have 32 yrs. And my snoring caused him to miss on so much sleep,
his dr. sent HIM for a sleep study
Needless to say...Its not him with Apnea. Its me. We have tried many times to sleep in the same bed since going on my mask. And we have the same problems as you. I hate that we are in different beds. So does he. But we both need to get a good night sleep. So...I am now in the little room. To sleep only.
Take it one day at a time. all will be well

We returned out Tempurpedic because it hurt my husband's back. We got a very firm Simmons that claims to reduce movement felt, and I do think it's better than a regular mattress (but not good enough for me). Compared to me, the Princess and the Pea is a heavy sleeper, so everything wakes me. Even him tugging on the sheet a little wakes me. My ideal situation would be two twins on wheels, next to each other, with each of us having our own blankets and mattress. I think they may even make something that bridges the gap. We could make the bed up with a duvet/bedspread that hides the fact that it's two separate beds. That would help with motion and blanket-tugging. It won't necessarily solve the air blowing problem that you have, although it would increase the distance over a queen size bed. It won't solve your husband's snoring, although if you're not a very light sleeper, white noise machines might help you (I have 3 going...).

BTW, our real estate agent told us "snore rooms" (or something like that) are now desirable. It's a room off/near the bedroom where one person goes to sleep when one person is snoring!

BTW, our real estate agent told us "snore rooms" (or something like that) are now desirable. It's a room off/near the bedroom where one person goes to sleep when one person is snoring!

These are also sold as walk in closets........

When I lived with my husband we had two twin beds pushed together and used king sized sheets and bedding on them. This way I never felt him turning and tossing, and vice versa. It worked out well.

I guess "She Who Must be Obeyed" and I have been together long enough to be considered an "Older Married Couple". We first had a full size bed (bad) then we got a Queen size bed (more bad) then we got a Ca.King size water bed (more worse than bad) Got tired of it leaking. we then got a Ca. King Foam bed. It was good but after a couple of years it was bad very bad We just got a new bed a Ca. King Size Sealy...now it seems like we need to use a step stool or ladder to get in it. Also I should send video in to America's Funniest Video of the Shih Tzu we have trying to get on the bed. Or when he falls off of it at night.

"She Who Must be Obeyed" says..."The sound of the Bi-Pap is a lot better hearing me stop breathing every other minute !! Or listening to my snoreing . Load enough to be haerd outside in the back yard."

I am reading each and every one of your posts avidly, often twice. Thank you SO MUCH for these thoughtful comments! It means the world to me! I plan to further "study" your comments along with my hubby. Please keep the suggestions coming, and I'll let you know what our decision is about the bed situation!

For those of you who have a Tempurpedic: Do you have the name brand or a "generic" version of Tempurpedic? If you have a generic, are you sorry you didn't get the name-brand Tempurpedic? Also, is Tempurpedic hot in the summer? (We have a/c anyways, so it probably won't be an issue--just wondered if it causes or encourages one to perspire.)

Thanks a bunch, and hugs to you all!

All in Knots

Twin beds pushed together with separate sheets leaves a nice crease in between where any small barrier at head level could be inserted at night...something pretty. No turn over problem, no air blast problem.

Ok, this is "She who must be obeyed" as he calls me......lol
The foam bed we had was an expensive one and I was really dissappointed with it. After having it for a couple of years we both began to sink in it. We turned the mattress and the same thing happened to the point of almost having to have someone pull you out of the bed, making for backaches in the mornings. We now have a Sealy that has springs that are bugging me to the max as every movement causes them to make noise. We sleep wonderfully though once in it and settled down. As Pat said it is about 8" higher and is a real treat to see us get in it and our dog Buddy run like crazy and jump up. It took him almost 3 weeks before he mastered the jump. When he gets down during the night, either because he has fallen off of his own accord or because one of his toys has fallen and he goes after it, I do put him back up on the bed when I have to get up during the night. I have a suggestion for the bedding of larger beds that has works great for us. I bought 2 sets of Northern NIghts King size sheets from QVC and I was amazed at how big they are. Even with this new ,higher, mattress they still have room of the sides and the ends. We have seperate top covers that work great for us. I have my fleece blanket and Pat has his; this way there is no tugging of the covers at night and you don't feel the other person move.

Patrick A wrote:Ok, this is "She who must be obeyed" as he calls me......lol
As Pat said it is about 8" higher and is a real treat to see us get in it and our dog Buddy run like crazy and jump up. It took him almost 3 weeks before he mastered the jump. When he gets down during the night, either because he has fallen off of his own accord or because one of his toys has fallen and he goes after it, I do put him back up on the bed when I have to get up during the night..

Hi, "She". Thanks for the suggestions! Hey, I think you need to upload a video of the above scenario so we can have a better visual, (tee hee!) especially the run and jump thing! Maybe you could add to the fun and turn it into a race! Whoever loses has to be the one to sky-dive back down and return with the doggie!

Patrick A wrote: I have a suggestion for the bedding of larger beds that has works great for us. I bought 2 sets of Northern NIghts King size sheets from QVC and I was amazed at how big they are. Even with this new ,higher, mattress they still have room of the sides and the ends. We have seperate top covers that work great for us. I have my fleece blanket and Pat has his; this way there is no tugging of the covers at night and you don't feel the other person move.

Point noted. I love QVC anyways, just gives me a great excuse to make another purchase!

Thanks again for the suggestions,
All in Knots