OT: Losing a Parent

[Songbird]

Deep, heartfelt condolences, Kira. My dad died of Alzheimer's several years ago, and I completely identify with your "if I'd only known more" thoughts. Dad snored till the windows rattled, and I'm so sure -- now -- that he had SA, which helped deteriorate his health tremendously. Didn't know about SA back then, though. I hope your good memories give you comfort and help to ease your grief. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Marsha

[bdp522]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Brenda

[kteague]

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers as you begin all your "firsts" without her. I remember how odd that felt after losing both my father and my mother. Your father's comment at the funeral home touched my heart. Takes while to seem real.
Kathy

[ozij]

My condolensces to you and your family, Kira.
O.

[StillAnotherGuest]

I am so sorry for your loss.

You should take great comfort in knowing that your mother saw her child grow up to become the wonderful, caring person that she is.

SAG

[Violet]

Kiralynx

My heart and thoughts are with you and your family.

[Pugsy]

I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you.

There is a poem that Ruth Ann Mahaffey wrote when her husband died. "A Letter from Heaven" if you haven't seen it when you have time take a peek. It expresses some wonderful sentiments. We used it when my step father died last year.

http://patsyrose224.tripod.com/letter.html

[raggedykat]

Kiralynx -

Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[mars]

Kiralynx

Kahlil Gibran says it much better than I ever could -

from The Prophet

Then Almitra spoke, saying, "We would ask now of Death."

And he said:

You would know the secret of death.

But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?

The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.

If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.

For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;

And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.

Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.

Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.

Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?

Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?

And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.

And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.

And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

End Quote.

My condolences

Mars

[-SWS]

Kira, my thoughts are with you and your loved ones during this difficult time.

But also joy in that most beautiful and ethereal garden you so eloquently described.

[BlackSpinner]

Yes the hard part is for the ones left behind.
My condolences to you Kyra. Hold tight to your dad and help each other through this time.

And hold on to the image of the perfect garden, the one without pain or any inabilities.

Love Lena

[Kiralynx]

Thanks again to all those who have shared reminiscences and poems or sayings which help them in times of trouble.

It means a great deal.

We are arranging to get the family together (we're all over the country) on the 12th of November for a celebration of Mom's life. She was very active in her church and in her genealogy organizations.

Her passing is only a moment in a long and eventful life.

<wry grin> I suppose it's altogether unsurprising that my leak rates have been all over the map this week, and that I'm not getting nearly as much sleep as I should. Hopefully, it will settle down soon, and I'll be able to reach a new normal.

I'm going out today to track down that duck for my Dad...

Plus, I need to find a copy of a song with the title of "Margie." I have no idea who wrote it, or who originally performed it, but I know that it was one my Dad always asked some musicians at a local restaurant to play whenever we ate there.

Dad's trying, in the ethos of his generation, to soldier on through, but it's hard. I recalculated... Dad was 21 when they were married, so he literally can barely remember a time when Mom wasn't at his side. A change like this after 64 years, isn't going to be easy.

Funnily enough, we were having a discussion about CPAP yesterday. One of the things Dad said was that he didn't understand why none of Mom's doctors spotted her apnea, if indeed, she had it. I told him that regrettably, too many physicians are not as well informed about the subject as they should be -- and they do not like to admit it. And that that is what pinches us, the patients, where it matters. Because we expect our medical practitioners to have the specialized knowledge about certain things which we lack, and when they don't have it, and won't admit they don't have it, our health is what suffers. Dad said that when my brother-in-law was diagnosed around 10 years ago, he thought it was really an odd disorder, that only a few people had, but that he is seeing more and more articles about apnea in newspapers and magazines, and he's realizing that it's more common than the thought.

I truly, truly hope that knowledge becomes more common.

Mom's life was long and eventful. I just wish her last years hadn't been sprinkled with all the co-morbidities of apnea. As she once said, ruefully, when reporting on some new problem, "These are supposed to be our golden years..."

Well, time to go duck-hunting. In the grocery store, that is. Even if it is duck season here in Louisiana. My mom was a champion shopper. I better not let her down on this.

[cflame1]

I'm guessing that the song would be this one:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margie_(song)

[gasparama]

It's been a privilege to share this trip with you. Thanks for letting us come along. My heartfelt condolences are sent your way.

Jane

[KatieW]

Kira, I'm very sorry for your loss. Both my parents have passed, and it's a difficult journey. Thank you for sharing with us.