My wife unplugged me

[Wulfman]

I have a very similar situation going on at my house. I have a Remstar Plus M Series and a Resmed Swift Nasal Pillows System. The CPAP is really loud. It's the machine itself when I breath out, the fan is really loud. I had sent it off for repair and they put a new fan in it. The tech at the doctor's office that's just the way they are. I've tried putting it under the bed, but it kind of echos. I put 2 pillows on it and it helps some. My wife doesn't unplug me, but asks me nicely to turn it off. I have to try to wait until she's asleep to turn it on if I don't fall asleep first which happens alot. She is a very light sleeper.

My wife is a very nice person and has put up with a lot of sleep deprivation between of my snoring/CPAP and her light sleeping. I'm just trying to find a way to make this work without sleeping in another room. I may try the syrofoam cooler thing. Any other ideas (besides D-I-V-O-R-C-E)?

The Tech lied to you. They shouldn't be loud. On the other hand, it depends on what a person considers "loud". My machines do vary somewhat in the sounds they make, but none are loud.

I also vote for getting a different (data-capable) machine.....if you have your prescription and some extra money, they're not all that expensive if you look in the right places.......like CPAP.COM or CPAPAUCTION.COM.

Den

[DreamDiver]

The Tech lied to you. They shouldn't be loud. On the other hand, it depends on what a person considers "loud". My machines do vary somewhat in the sounds they make, but none are loud.

I also vote for getting a different (data-capable) machine.....if you have your prescription and some extra money, they're not all that expensive if you look in the right places.......like CPAP.COM or CPAPAUCTION.COM.

Den

What he said. I would like to offer some considerations on loudness, though. We each of us hear differently. My father, before he died was nearly deaf. So when he watched TV, he turned it up too loud for me. He had perfect hearing (for the average human) when he was my age. He was the one they tested twice because nobody got a perfect hearing score. He went deaf, I think, because he snored so loud, it would rattle the windows in all the rooms of the house - literally. My Mom went deaf in one ear because of it, too. I don't know how she put up with it.

The public school I went to as a kid had hearing and vision testing once a year right at the school. The school nurse usually left the door open to the sound booth so the kid inside wouldn't get scared. I touched each ear when I heard a noise, as directed. A few times I didn't because the pitch was so high, it sounded like the normal squeaks and twitters I heard all day long anyway. So as I left the booth, I asked her - what about all those high pitched noises - was I supposed to recognize them? I told her sometimes it was hard to know whether it was a noise I was hearing from outside or a noise I was hearing from the headphones. She said - 'Let's try that again' and this time closed the door. It was the first time I can remember experiencing total silence. Cool! It was easy then to distinguish the sounds she was testing. I also noticed that the sounds she was testing for also sounded considerably louder since there was nothing else to screen out.

What sounds loud to some people is barely audible to others. Coupled with ambient noise levels, what sounds loud at one ambient noise level can sound almost painful at a much lower ambient noise level. Another consideration is awareness. If you are entirely engaged in something mentally absorbing, you're not as likely to notice an obnoxious noise level as when your mind is not otherwise engaged. Similarly when you are unconscious. It's like that tapping noise of a dripping faucet late at night. It's not loud. It's just damned annoying because now that you're aware of it, you can't stop thinking about - Like the Gilligan's Island or Spongebob Squarepants song you can't get out of your head. So Environment, physical ability and mental awareness combine to produce a perceived level of loudness or softness of sound.

It's why our children are going deaf from listening to their iPods. The perceived loudness seems fine when you're out on a crowded street, but the prolonged exposure at such levels causes hearing damage. It would be interesting to find out if there are any studies about perceived loudness and whether or not merely-annoying-but-not-necessarily-damage-level noises can damage hearing.

Captain: Are you ready kids?
Kids: Aye-aye Captain.
Captain: I can't hear you...
Kids: Aye-Aye Captain!!
Captain: Oh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: If nautical nonsense be something you wish...
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: Ready?
EveryBody: SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: SpongeBob.... SquarePants! Haha.

[WearyOne]

I can relate to being very sensitive to noises, even if they're aren't loud. Sometimes even the noise of my own cpap bothers me because it's not a "constant, even sound," due to being on CFLEX. And it's not loud at all, it's just me! Thus, my sound conditioner and earplugs used to block the TV from the other room, also serve to block the cpap noise if it's bothering me.

I would try the styrofoam thing, AND also have your wife wear foam earplugs. Trying different machines, maybe turning different ones on in a quiet, closed room at the DME might help determine if there's a big difference in loudness between different machines.

If all else fails, you two could SLEEP in different rooms. Sleeping in different rooms is not the end of the world (although some would have you believe that), and certainly doesn't mean other things can't happen before retiring to separate rooms!

Your wife needs her sleep, just as you do. But you also HAVE to use the machine for your health---she really shouldn't be telling you to turn it off.

My

Pam

[Debjax]

I have a very similar situation going on at my house. I have a Remstar Plus M Series and a Resmed Swift Nasal Pillows System. The CPAP is really loud. It's the machine itself when I breath out, the fan is really loud. I had sent it off for repair and they put a new fan in it. The tech at the doctor's office that's just the way they are. I've tried putting it under the bed, but it kind of echos. I put 2 pillows on it and it helps some. My wife doesn't unplug me, but asks me nicely to turn it off. I have to try to wait until she's asleep to turn it on if I don't fall asleep first which happens alot. She is a very light sleeper.

My wife is a very nice person and has put up with a lot of sleep deprivation between of my snoring/CPAP and her light sleeping. I'm just trying to find a way to make this work without sleeping in another room. I may try the syrofoam cooler thing. Any other ideas (besides D-I-V-O-R-C-E)?

I have a RemStar Pro, and although I can hear it a little, hubby says he can't hear it at all, and he's got pretty good hearing. Do you have a humidifier on your machine? I know the humidifier makes it much quieter. Hubby's machine, a ResMed Elite II is even quieter than mine, I had to actually get my ear within a few inches of the machine to hear it...

HOw old is your machine?

[DoriC]

We installed a WhisperCap which does seem to make it quieter. We bought it at cpap.com, very inexpensive.

[Cpapkid]

If this is true and you're not jerking our chain, she'd only do that once at my house!

[OceanGoingGal]

OT:

I've been in a crappy marriage to a selfish person before, and I'd rather be alone any day. I learned to be happy with myself while I was divorced for 9 years before getting married again. Working on me allowed me to attract someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Congratulations on finding the right one. I have been alone many years and it is not fun. I date occasionally. When I do meet someone I wonder what might happen if I tell him about the c-pap. With any luck I will find Mr right and he will understand the importance of my therapy.

Laura

[gasparama]

Shoot, my DH does not ever want me to sleep without the machine. After years of my snoring, gasping and coughing, he's finally getting a good night's sleep also. And he likes it that I don't fall asleep in the car before we pass the nearest convenience store. There's just something sick about a spouse who would in any way discourage CPAP use even if both partners had to make some adjustments.

[Fredman]

Right on gasparama. Marriage is about adjustments...no couple is 100% compatible. I really can't see why his wife if she really loved him could not find a way for CPAP to be routine for them both.

If it really interferes with her sleep, sleep in separate rooms. Hey it might be very romantic for her husband to come and "visit" her room if you know what I mean "nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more" ( quote from - Monty Python's Flying Circus)

[GumbyCT]

I still think she was trying to kill the OP.

Sleep deprivation can make one a bit mean.

[john_dozer]

I have a very similar situation going on at my house. I have a Remstar Plus M Series and a Resmed Swift Nasal Pillows System. The CPAP is really loud. It's the machine itself when I breath out, the fan is really loud. I had sent it off for repair and they put a new fan in it. The tech at the doctor's office that's just the way they are. I've tried putting it under the bed, but it kind of echos. I put 2 pillows on it and it helps some. My wife doesn't unplug me, but asks me nicely to turn it off. I have to try to wait until she's asleep to turn it on if I don't fall asleep first which happens alot. She is a very light sleeper.

My wife is a very nice person and has put up with a lot of sleep deprivation between of my snoring/CPAP and her light sleeping. I'm just trying to find a way to make this work without sleeping in another room. I may try the syrofoam cooler thing. Any other ideas (besides D-I-V-O-R-C-E)?

Part of the problem is that human hearing is pretty good at adjusting to the sound levels of the current environment. As long as the wife's hearing is decent, should will perceive the breathing to a very low level.

Sounds like you need to even out the noise.

One way is to make the Machine quieter so that its so low other normal house sounds cover it up. Or its so unbelievably quiet someone in the silent dead of night can't hear it. You've gotten suggestions along that line.

The other way is to add a source of white noise to make it more even. Generally people will put up with white noise as a noise that can cover up other noise. This could come from a fan, or an electrical white noise generator. They sell alarm clocks that create a variety of white-noise like sounds, from static, to running water, to rain, and a few others.

Unfortunately if people have bug up their noise about it, they will listen past the white noise. Or consider it just another source of noise to be upset about. Personally Rain or Waterfall noise puts me right to sleep and considered one of those alarm clocks with noise generators. But I think it upsets others.

If you add another noise source I would do two things. Co-locate it with the CPAP machine if possible. This will make it harder for a person to separate the CPAP noise from the white noise. And gauge whether the person is mature enough to give the 'extra noise' a go or if they will perceive it as a negative. If they are likely to perceive it as worse, try to make another explanation for the source of white noise.

You could combine the quieting and background white noise in one. Relocate the CPAP under the bed as well as some source of white noise at the same time (with or without informing her, you decide).

[GumbyCT]

I think spam bumped this back to the top and we no longer have the OP's attention. Did someone reply w/o looking at the date?

[ozij]

by muddyhounddog on Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:38 - he's not the OP, but he has a similar problem - some of us are responding to him.

You're right about the OP though, Gumby.

O.

[Jason S.]

My wife unplugged me
I am a newbie. Have had ResMed unit about three weeks. My wife complains that the machine is "so loud that i can't sleep." She has gone so far as to unplug the unit during the night --while I'm using it. All feedback appreciated!

Prior to CPAP, my snoring was much louder and more obtrusive than the gentle hum of the machine. So far Angelina hasn't complained, but if she did, I would remove the tape from my mouth and place it on hers.

[georgepds]

Depends on the spouse... my wife hounded me endlessly until I started using cpap regularly

--G