Sex and the Single CPAP-er

OldLincoln · Post by **OldLincoln** » Tue May 27, 2008 8:22 pm

Thank you all SO much for this thread! I'm more comfortable already. As one who 'came of age' at the dawn of the 60's, I've come to see sex as both passionate and hilarious! I can see a paping couple with mask intercoms getting it on. "Wow it's soooo good, over!"

CUatX · Post by **CUatX** » Wed May 28, 2008 2:38 pm

BUMP!
I'm getting too many laughs out of this thread to let it fall off of Page 1!

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Wed May 28, 2008 3:32 pm

Babs, NOT that brother -- he is lurking in the Ozark hills somewhere and whereabouts unknown. After all the reward is much too tempting to pass up you know!!!

Have you heard of Alis Ben Johns? He went on a rampage here for a while and killed some people and hung out in the Ozarks and elude the police for some time before capture. He was on America's Most Wanted and they even wrote a song about him. My brother says he can outlast him!! Just joking for those that are in the law enforcement agencies -- don't want you banging on my door with guns drawn!!

The one I was going to hook you up with is actually the perverted one!! You know the kinky kind likes to buy used panties from eBay!!! He IS single and available.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 28, 2008 3:57 pm

Uh Carol, uh, lessee... Much as I like YOU, I'm kinda scairt of yer kinfolk right now. What's that? Do I hear a banjo playing? Is that the theme to "Deliverance"?

I'm not sure I WANT to squeal like a piggy....

Maybe I'll just keep working on those deep breathing exercises by myself. I do have a peak flow meter on it's way...

LOL,
Babs

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Wed May 28, 2008 4:10 pm

Well you know what they say about us rednecks!!! And my two daughters did marry cousins -- you know the old saying about keeping it in the family. With you being so far away there probably isn't any chance you have any family ties with us and that just wouldn't be any fun!!

Actually my two daughters did marry cousins but my oldest daughter caught her husband first (and NO he is not her cousin) then my youngest daughter married HIS cousin!! Unfortunately youngest daughter's hubby is NOTHING like first daughter's hubby and so youngest daughter is NO longer married.

And if you think you are confused -- what about the kids (my grandkids) -- are they cousins or aunt and uncle and which is whose grandmother and gramps -- let the fun begin!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 28, 2008 4:31 pm

It's not that I don't LIKE Rednecks, it's just that I can't eat a whole one. Without barbecue sauce.

Hey, I go to family reunions to pickup dates. Yes folks, I've dated two of my cousins! Now, in my defense, they are both on the STEP side of the family, and even if they were blood, they are far enough removed cousins that they wouldn't really be blood kin to me, ANYWAY.

I'm not saying that's an excuse, but that's what happens when Okies get together. We can't help it. We're trashy that way. (And she runs as JeffH loads his shotgun)

LOL,
B.

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Wed May 28, 2008 4:41 pm

Then maybe I should set you up with my GOOD brother. I do have one that is single, likes to do housework and is good at it, holds a steady job with good pay, loves to ride his Harley (he purchased one the anniversary models), and is an all around good guy -- but he does like to have fun!!

I wouldn't mind you for a sister-in-law!!

OR

I have another brother (I have four) that my kids call Sasquatch because he doesn't bathe, wears his clothes for months on end, owns a garbage route (yep has his own garbage truck) and MAYBE the stench wouldn't be TOO bad when hooked up to your pap machine!!

Talk about Deliverance there --

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 28, 2008 4:51 pm

I am not moving back to the Midwest. No more tornadoes for this babe!!!

But thanks for playing...
B.

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Wed May 28, 2008 5:04 pm

Well geez Louise --

here a poor old sole is trying to help you out --

you gotta remember us poor old ladies sitting in our porch swings looking out across the way are always trying play match maker

I mean when I get old and feeble (which is around the corner according to my kids) who will take care of brothers? ONE of them needs a good woman to take care of them?

Maybe I should advertise for THEM on craigslist -- I can see it now --

Wanted:

Good Woman!!

Must be able to milk goats (they don't have any but who cares)

Cut and split word

Must smoke a corncob pipe and operate a white lightening still

No children -- grandchildren okay

Let's see Babs what else would draw them in -- besides being a hose head?

Treesap · Post by **Treesap** » Wed May 28, 2008 6:32 pm

This just keeps getting more and more interesting. But I'm still thinking about the used panty-buyer on ebay.....EWWWWW!!!!!

jules · Post by **jules** » Wed May 28, 2008 7:01 pm

What is missing here is that Babs sent me those elastic waist bands I used for my headgear for my masks that Teddy so graciously modeled.

Babs, guess the secret is out about what you do with your used panties and Carol, you now know your brother's source of goods. I hate to be the one to tell you where they came from but ...................

Babette · Post by **Babette** » Wed May 28, 2008 7:08 pm

SNORT! NOT! Never sent Jules NOTHIN'. Unless Jules really is a facade for someone else.

Lessee... Who might I have sent elastic bands to? Oh yeah! No one. Hmmmmm....

Speaking of checking the meds, Jules....

LOL,
B.

Babette · Post by **Babette** » Wed May 28, 2008 7:09 pm

Okay Carol, tell you what. I'll swap you a Harley Riding Brother for someone to care for my parents in their old age. I be it. And let me tell you JUST HOW FUN MY LIFE HAS BEEN THESE PAST 5 YEARS!

Lemme know if he's driving through Washington. Maybe I can meet him at that sleazy motel in Bremerton...

LOL,
B.

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Wed May 28, 2008 7:21 pm

Well Babs,

I wanna keep ya as a friend. Hate to dissappoint you on this one -- and he would make someone a wonderful husband. But already been there done that with my mom and dad.

Dad died of emphysema (not a pretty way to die) when he was 61. He spent the last 5 months in the hospital (this was in 77 and the insurance was a lot more lenient then). My mom was 64 when she died due to diabetes, cigarette smoking (congestive heart failure, COPD, and numerous other ailments, along with mental illness). Do NOT want to do that again!!

It was fun while it lasted!!!

And for all you ladies out there if you need some quick cash I know how you can make some

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Wed May 28, 2008 7:28 pm

I feel another motel injury comin' on. Me diving out the back window and Harley rider with a short hose walking through the front door. Did she turn off the vibrating bed?

Banned