Help getting wife to use her CPAP

BobF4 · Post by **BobF4** » Sat Apr 28, 2007 8:30 am

Wulfman wrote:
BobF4 wrote:The best thing, and the only thing, I can do is to not even bug her about her machine any more.
I think I advised you about doing this.....several pages back. (easier said than done, right?)

She may just have to get to the point that she's dead tired all the time before she gets "the picture". Hopefully she won't have other medical complications by the time she gets to that point.

Den

Den,

Yeah, you did advise me of this. Me being a bit on the stubborn side myself, I put it to the back of my mind when you did. Now, I fully agree with your advice.

I'm not saying any negative words to her about the mask. In fact, other than being supportive of her using it (and the abortive attempt to take her CPAP with her on her vacation), I won't bring the subject up with her again. However she wants to handle it, is how she will handle it.

She has to learn to take charge of her therapy, and to not be dependent on me to "show her how to use it."

Bob

birdshell · Post by **birdshell** » Sat Apr 28, 2007 8:56 am

Bob,

I am so sorry to hear about your wife's decision. It is very surprising to me that she decided to leave the machine at home, as it must be to the others who were chatting with her on Live Chat the night before she left.

Den is right, as are you, in that this is a delicate topic. She DOES have to be the "boss of her" as my kindergartners would have stated, but how heart-wrenching for you to contemplate the future ramifications of NOT using the xPAP.

I am thinking that maybe she cannot handle all of the "tweaking" that must be done with the masks. There is a lot less to be done with the machines themselves, and yet, the mask may be the most important factor in compliance. I suspect that if it were just something she could put on and be done with it, that she would be more likely to use it. She must be frustrated with the entire process.

I hope if that is the case, someone will recognize that as a difficulty in getting patients to comply with treatment. We all need to recognize a need for this INTRODUCTION to xPAP to be improved. The forum tries to do so for some, but not for enough of those who need it, apparently. Of course, that is not our job, but it is of concern to all of us--since our relatives are so often affected.

Please do not give up, Bob. While you may not even mention it, I know you will be hoping for your wife to change her mind. I, for one, will also be hoping that.

It was really enjoyable talk to the two of you on Live Chat--all the best to both of you.

Karen

BobF4 · Post by **BobF4** » Sat Apr 28, 2007 9:46 am

Karen,

Thanks for the kind words, and the show of support. It does mean a lot to me.

And she has gone into the chat room on her own a few times, but no one else has been there. The support she received the night before she left means a lot to her, but, since she just got her new mask, I'm sure she didn't want to have to go through the acclimitization to the mask while at her sister's house on vacation.

Please, you (or anyone else, of course) sees her in the chat room, fel free to talk to her about her situation. That can only help her.

Bob

bdp522 · Post by **bdp522** » Sat Apr 28, 2007 1:00 pm

Please make sure she knows how much we want to help. She can feel free to PM me and I'll get back to her asap. If she feels better about talking on the phone, I can PM her my phone number. No one else can make her do this. But if she wants to do this we can help her with it.

Brenda

TXKajun · Post by **TXKajun** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 2:11 pm

Bob, refer her to this link: http://www.talkaboutsleep.com/message-b ... hp?t=21038 Maybe she'll finally understand the seriousness of OSA. If not, then get out the insurance forms!

Kajun

BobF4 · Post by **BobF4** » Fri May 04, 2007 10:43 am

TXKajun wrote:Bob, refer her to this link: http://www.talkaboutsleep.com/message-b ... hp?t=21038 Maybe she'll finally understand the seriousness of OSA. If not, then get out the insurance forms!

Kajun

Kajun,

I will show that posting to her tonight, and see if it has any results.

Also, its now Friday, and she's been home from Florida since Tuesday evening. In all that time, she hasn't put her mask on once. I'm worried, but again, I'm saying nothing to her.

We'll see how long this goes on for.

Bob

BarbarainCT · Post by **BarbarainCT** » Fri May 04, 2007 10:57 am

I'm a new user. I've just passed the one month mark. I can only think of one thing that your wife gains by her reluctance to use her CPAP machine and that is a lot of attention from you and this group. If she uses her CPAP then she loses all that attention.

So, what other topic can she get some attention on? Solve that and I think you will solve your problem.

Barbara in CT

DrowzyDave · Post by **DrowzyDave** » Fri May 04, 2007 2:26 pm

teach wrote:I am still dealing with the idea of being a "hose head". I couldn't think of anything less sexy than snoring and being connected to a machine that sounds like Darth Vader!

Dying in your sleep would definitely be less sexy. Sorry to be so blunt but I would rather have my wife on xPAP than have her die in her sleep.

Dave

dieselgal · Post by **dieselgal** » Fri May 04, 2007 3:46 pm

Snoring like a chain saw is also a bit "unsexy"

Mask	Humidifier

Additional Comments: 15,332 hours on old machine (RemStar Pro with C-flex; received 3/3/2003, retired 10/5/2010)

Help getting wife to use her CPAP

Re: wife