Private Messages (or PM)-a colossal waste of time!

[zonker]

i've started this thread because i want to discuss my frustrations with the use of the private message function by some members of this forum.

but before i start, i'm going to be using a feature of this forum called notification. if you (yeah, YOU) don't have this turned on, please go to your profile and turn it on. do it now. open a new tab and go to it. or stop reading this and do it. whatever you wish.

here is the thread that finally broke me.-

viewtopic/t186905/Real-Centrals-or-not.html

and the crux of the matter here.-

what is the point of saying this in the open forum?

Some use an email account they don't check; just go on the forum website and don't notice that their PM counter has changed.

now, dataq1 isn't the only one to do this. that is, post in open forum alerting a user they have a pm waiting. sleepgeek, julie and others have done this. and it puzzles me.

it may be that i look at this forum differently than they do. and that wouldn't surprise me at all. in fact, the forum software is somewhat "open" and one can do the same thing in different ways. (an example is how we can quote a user who has posted, as i've done above.) i know for a fact that i don't quote the same as others, particularly on multiple quotes. but there it is.

to me, it's a colossal waste of time to tell someone in an open forum that they have a private message. the private message is there. to me, this is like an acquaintance of mine from twenty years ago and his use of answering machines. he'd call me and leave a message that i should call him the minute i got the message. then he'd call a half an hour later with the same message. and so on and so forth. it wouldn't be unusual for me to come home and have the exact same message from him six times! he only had to tell me once. i would still have called him.

when i log onto this forum, here is what i see sometimes-

(i wish i'd had the sense to take a screen shot earlier when my "private message" icon would have been illuminated as well.)

and of course, more messages if there are more. if i had had one pm, the above would show 2 notifications and 1 private message, which would indicate 1 open forum message and 1 private message.

i'm not entirely sure that the private message indicator functions if you DON'T have notifications turned on. but it's why i suggested turning them on as one of the first things i typed. i'm hoping someone more familiar with the forum software will correct me.

i therefor don't really understand dataq1 with his comment of the counter not changed. that's something you'd see after you've logged and go to private mail. but if you see the private mail indicating a message waiting for you upon log in, why would you have to notice a changing counter?

i'm not sure that i've explained myself properly. if i haven't, ask specifically on a point and i'll try to to make myself more clear.

also, if i'm absolutely full of balloon juice on this, please inform me!

meanwhile, go turn on notifications!

[palerider]

(i wish i'd had the sense to take a screen shot earlier when my "private message" icon would have been illuminated as well.)

Check your PMs

The only reason that people like those you've mentioned PM unsuspecting new people is that they know if they post that stuff on the forum, in public, others will point out all the errors in what they're telling the unsuspecting new people.

[Julie]

The reason I do/did it was because the member was new and so would not necessarily realize they had a PM even if alerted, and because the message I sent has been seen on the forum by all many times (re how I finagled my mattress to accommodate tummy sleeping with a mask... I doubt that you all needed to see it again. If it's anyone's else's business anyhow that I choose to send PM's once in a blue moon.

[SleepGeek]

now, dataq1 isn't the only one to do this. that is, post in open forum alerting a user they have a pm waiting. sleepgeek, julie and others have done this. and it puzzles me.

now big guy show me where ive done this.

also, if i'm absolutely full of balloon juice on this, please inform me!

done

[zonker]

now, dataq1 isn't the only one to do this. that is, post in open forum alerting a user they have a pm waiting. sleepgeek, julie and others have done this. and it puzzles me.

now big guy show me where ive done this.

also, if i'm absolutely full of balloon juice on this, please inform me!

done

the message where you did it was at least a year and a half ago. and it was deleted by pugsy because you went apeshit and started screaming at me.

and all you've done is show that i can't find an example of your referring a member to check their private mail. you haven't commented on the rest of the post.

care to weigh in? or are you just here to start another fight?

[zonker]

The reason I do/did it was because the member was new and so would not necessarily realize they had a PM even if alerted, and because the message I sent has been seen on the forum by all many times (re how I finagled my mattress to accommodate tummy sleeping with a mask... I doubt that you all needed to see it again. If it's anyone's else's business anyhow that I choose to send PM's once in a blue moon.

thank you for your explanation. it makes perfect sense.

[zonker]

(i wish i'd had the sense to take a screen shot earlier when my "private message" icon would have been illuminated as well.)

Check your PMs

The only reason that people like those you've mentioned PM unsuspecting new people is that they know if they post that stuff on the forum, in public, others will point out all the errors in what they're telling the unsuspecting new people.

got it.

in a bit, i'll add the screenshot.

[SleepGeek]

the message where you did it was at least a year and a half ago. and it was deleted by pugsy

so it does NOT exist except in your mind
Said another way it sounds like libel to me.

Generally, slander occurs when the reputation or good name of someone is damaged as a result of false statements. Libel, on the other hand, occurs when false statements regarding another are put in writing.

nuff said

you went apeshit and started screaming at me.

oh by not responding to your pms
you tickle me

you haven't commented on the rest of the post.

do tell what authority you and your friend have in this forum
besides making more work for pugsy
mama was write about you.

[Pugsy]

What I do (not that it really matters) is when I send a PM to someone for whatever reason I just send it.
I give them a day or two to open the PM and read it....remember I can see easily if the PM was read or not.
If the person is new to the forum and I still see the PM sitting in the outbox so I know they haven't read it THEN I will go to the person's thread and tell them to check their PM box. Most people understand how forums work and private messages and they will figure it out. I give people a day or so to figure it out before I go posting in their thread about checking PMs.

It's rare that someone has to be reminded about the PM box and to go check it.

A reminder ONE TIME is probably not a big deal but writing "go check your PM box" multiple times in one thread is just plain friggin annoying and my own opinion is the person doing it multiple times just wants to be annoying. It's duplicate posts which to me are considered to be spam.....but that's just me. Once someone has opened a PM....news flash folks...they got it figured out and don't have to be told with every PM sent to them. Wastes forum space.

Now when you guys/gals start another pissing contest about this matter...it derails the original thread and I wish you all would just STFU. THAT'S the crap that makes more work for me. People having to get the last word in the pissing contest.

Thank you.

[palerider]

or are you just here to start another fight?

There you go again, "asking" questions that you know the answer to.

[zonker]

here's an example of what i see when i log in and have a private message.-



breaks down to 2 messages, right here in this thread, plus 1 private message.

am i the only one who sees these notifications when they log in?

[Julie]

Nope. but you're special, so maybe a little more conscious of all (?)

[Pugsy]

am i the only one who sees these notifications when they log in?

No. Your aren't the only one. That's what I see plus I get notifications for all the new account posts like spammers and those you never see. They don't make it to the light of day....and they get their account blocked from posting again.

BTW the notification thing....by default the settings are for notifications to be on . Someone has to change it to turn it off to not get the notifications.
Now a newbie might not know what it means but they will quickly learn.

[zonker]

What I do (not that it really matters) is when I send a PM to someone for whatever reason I just send it.
I give them a day or two to open the PM and read it....remember I can see easily if the PM was read or not.
If the person is new to the forum and I still see the PM sitting in the outbox so I know they haven't read it THEN I will go to the person's thread and tell them to check their PM box. Most people understand how forums work and private messages and they will figure it out. I give people a day or so to figure it out before I go posting in their thread about checking PMs.

It's rare that someone has to be reminded about the PM box and to go check it.

sounds legit. though i think you are being a bit more caring about it than i would. i figure it just like i figure it for open thread. if i post and the person doesn't reply (though they've come in and responded to others) i'm pretty much done with them. i understand people are here because they are routinely losing sleep and may miss things, but they seem to be able to answer others. when that happens onto the foe list they go. (but that's a topic for another thread! )

Now when you guys/gals start another pissing contest about this matter...it derails the original thread and I wish you all would just STFU. THAT'S the crap that makes more work for me. People having to get the last word in the pissing contest.

Thank you.

now this i don't get. if this was a case of a newbie coming in seeking help and we got carried away with joking around, i can see why you'd get pissed. but that's not the case here, imho. it's my thread in that i started it. and i could care less if sleepgeek decides to come in and feel like she has pulled a "gotcha" on me. at least she did it here in public, where people can see what what she's like.

that doesn't mean i'm going to keep it up, though. the point has been made.

[zonker]

Nope. but you're special, so maybe a little more conscious of all (?)

momma always said i was special!