Difference between revisions of "Partners and CPAP"
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| − | Well, my long-distance boyfriend just left after a week long visit. The only weird thing for me was that I needed to try to figure out when he was asleep so that I could then put on my mask and go to sleep. Like somebody else said, it's a definite signal that the fun is over and I never wanted to do that prematurely. :D I don't snuggle up to him as much as I'd like and there was a pillow strategically placed between us anytime I rolled over to face him because it was way too cold to have the cold air blowing on him. In the morning, when he'd start to stir, I'd remove my mask. | + | Well, my long-distance boyfriend just left after a week long visit. The only weird thing for me was that I needed to try to figure out when he was asleep so that I could then put on my mask and go to sleep. Like somebody else said, it's a definite signal that the fun is over and I never wanted to do that prematurely. :D I don't snuggle up to him as much as I'd like and there was a pillow strategically placed between us anytime I rolled over to face him because it was way too cold to have the cold air blowing on him. In the morning, when he'd start to stir, I'd remove my mask. -- By: rubymom |
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Revision as of 19:31, 10 January 2010
Contents
Dating and CPAP Therapy
Well, my long-distance boyfriend just left after a week long visit. The only weird thing for me was that I needed to try to figure out when he was asleep so that I could then put on my mask and go to sleep. Like somebody else said, it's a definite signal that the fun is over and I never wanted to do that prematurely. :D I don't snuggle up to him as much as I'd like and there was a pillow strategically placed between us anytime I rolled over to face him because it was way too cold to have the cold air blowing on him. In the morning, when he'd start to stir, I'd remove my mask. -- By: rubymom
Why tell your partner about CPAP treatment?
Partnered CPAP Users
What will CPAP do to our Sex Life?
by CPAPtalk member Froro
I'm going to answer this as a 40 year old who still feels like she is in her 20's and her old self again since starting CPAP.
When I got diagnosed this last year it was like I was hit in the stomach. My foggy brain could not wrap my head around it. I didn't sleep much but when I did sleep, I felt it was reasonably restful. (I have severe OSA) Regardless of this, I was in denial and I was angry. I searched for a "surgical cure", hellbent that I would not live my life attached to a hose and a machine.
Things that went through my brain. (some rational, some not, but all valid as that is what I FELT at the time)
I've lasted this long without it, who needs it, really? My husband is going to think I'm ugly Our sex life is going to take a nose dive (not that it already hadn't because I was so tired all the time) What about my freedom and spontaneity? What if I feel like taking off for a weekend? Travel? who wants to travel with this. My husband is going to think I'm ugly I'm no longer going to be attractive My husband is going to think I'm ugly What if my husband dies, how will I attract a new partner with this thing attached to my face at night? (I said not all my thoughts were rational) I'm no longer going to be attractive.
Catching a theme here? Yes it is vain, yes it is selfish and childish, but they were still real feelings. So much of my self worth has been based on image and appearance that it was a natural place to go. It took me years and years to be comfortable in my appearance and be proud of how I looked. When you get to that point after spending half your life thinking your ugly, it doesn't take much to knock you back down.
Funny thing happened. The more I researched the more I realized there was no cure. I voiced my concern to my husband about feeling ugly and feeling like he would leave me because of that. While he said it would never change how he felt, I still had my doubts.
Then the machine came in. Know what happened? I slept for the first time in at least two decades. I slept for a month. I feel 20 years younger, and I'm back to me again. I have more energy to do the million things I need to do in a day, and I don't drop into bed at night. Our sex life not only did not suffer, It improved significantly. No planning for intimacy. It just happens, whether I'm masked up or not. We talk more than we ever have. I usually am awake longer than he is so when the conversation dies down and he is drifting, I put on the mask then. I've learned how to talk with the mask on (a little bit, it's weird but I can do it).
All those irrational fears I had and all the silliness in my own head around being attractive/ugly, etc was put to rest.
Reality is. If your partner loves you (for all the right reasons and not just the exterior shell), nothing is going to change the way they feel.
While I'm still not enamored with the thought of living the rest of my life with this thing attached to my face at night, it's no biggie if I am. The real me is back, and stronger than ever. That person my husband fell in love with nearly 20 years ago is back. Not grumpy, not tired. Looking back I'm shocked he has put up with me the last few years I've been so miserable.
Additional comments:
One would think the the return of your normal energy level not to mention the elimination of sleeping in separate rooms would be a big boost to intimacy. Anyone who has been together long enough is probably not that concerned with how the mask looks After all, its only on when you are sleeping. When I had a sore on my nose from having the mask too tight the first 3 nights I put a band aid on it before I put on the mask....that was lovely...but we both have a sense of humor and it turned into a funny conversation. I guess its hard to take someone seriously with a dot band aid in the middle of their nose.....LOL :wink: -- by: Geminidream
Quiet Equipment
IntelliPAP Auto Adjust CPAP Machine wins Product Challenge 8 against the M Series Auto with AFLEX due to its quietness. The result of the Product Challenge proves the noise level of the machine makes a tremendous difference in the effectiveness of CPAP treatment. Product Challenge participants had this to say about the IntelliPAP Auto Adjust:
"By far the quietest of any machine I've ever used, the intellipap is barely audible. This is a great machine for anyone whose sleeping companion complains about the sound the machine makes. My partner didnt even know the machine was on the first night." - Marc K.
"VERY quiet operation. Surprising how much of a difference this makes for a comfortable sleeping environment." - Philip B.
"This is an extremely quiet machine. You definitely wouldn't be keeping someone awake." - Margaret W.
CPAPtalk links
Husband is not supportive of CPAP Use