OT: Anti-snark Request

Stormynights wrote:I prefer getting snarky comments than just being ignored. I think this is mostly my fault because I don't know how to ask the right questions or ask them in the right way due to brain fog.

You know there is a lot to be said about this. I oftentimes wonder why people respond the way they do, and then, hey, I realize that they just interpreted what was said a different way. Written communication is the absolute most horrible way to communicate. Depending on what expert you listen to, communication is something like 70% to 80% non-verbal. The words we use are trivial in comparison to the big picture. Written communication does not incorporate verbal intonation, facial expression, eye contact, or many other forms of body language. I have often read one line posts and thought to myself, this person is either a total ass or very caring....it all depends on what they really meant by what was said. Unfortunately there is a lot left to interpretation when it comes to the written word (but sometimes not). For this reason, I try to be a little more open minded when it comes to the written word. It is also why I reread every post before clicking submit. I often revise what I have said to make it a little more clear what I intend to say. I have already done it twice on this post.

The point about brain fog should also be emphasized. We are a group of folks who suffer from a condition that is know to effect the way we think and react to situations. Let's remember that when we read a snarky post and remember, maybe this soul has had a bad night or nights. Let's give 'em some room, huh?

Boyce wrote:Congratulations, you made a nice post extolling the benefits of competition and warning about systems which suppress competition!

I guess you missed this one!! viewtopic.php?f=1&t=88372&start=15

idamtnboy wrote:I don't know about the subsidy part, but the insurance companies do get the Part B premium. They then offer whatever plan they want to for zero additional cost to the Medicare recipients, or for whatever additional premium they want to charge. The myriad bunch of plan coverages and premiums is what makes the Advantage system so difficult to choose from. It's called competition, which supposedly leads to lower cost and better service. If you don't believe it, I'll arrange a personal visit from Santa Claus to explain it all!

NotLazyJustTired wrote:Depending on what expert you listen to, communication is something like 70% to 80% non-verbal. The words we use are trivial in comparison to the big picture. Written communication does not incorporate verbal intonation, facial expression, eye contact, or many other forms of body language.

Report on NPR the other day about some research of poker players. By watching a player's face, or watching their entire body, persons could judge the value of the player's hand no better than pure guess. But, by watching only the player's hands as they moved cards and money on the table the people were able to judge the value of the player's hand substantially better than pure guess! Interesting. We never know what part of us conveys our real thoughts!

idamtnboy wrote:

NotLazyJustTired wrote:Depending on what expert you listen to, communication is something like 70% to 80% non-verbal. The words we use are trivial in comparison to the big picture. Written communication does not incorporate verbal intonation, facial expression, eye contact, or many other forms of body language.

Report on NPR the other day about some research of poker players. By watching a player's face, or watching their entire body, persons could judge the value of the player's hand no better than pure guess. But, by watching only the player's hands as they moved cards and money on the table the people were able to judge the value of the player's hand substantially better than pure guess! Interesting. We never know what part of us conveys our real thoughts!

That is very interesting. Thanks for posting.

I am a part of an email group that has been together for over 15 years. We are a small group and are all FRIENDS.

A couple years ago, I sent badly worded email. My intention just wasn't there and how it came out was BAD. Anybody that didn't know me would think I was a horrible person. All but one of the email group read it, said "what in the heck??" and read it again, then said to themselves "I KNOW she didn't mean to say that. She must have meant...."

Because they KNEW me.

One person, however, took it the way it came out and yep -- snarky doesn't begin to cover what she said to me in a reply.

The written word is so subject to interpretation AND there isn't really a chance to clarify like you can when TALKING to someone face to face.

I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and NOT get snarky (I know I'm not always successful).

But all that being said -- sometimes the intent IS clear and there's no misinterpreting what a person is saying or how they are saying it. And sometimes it isn't very nice.

This is a community. It includes the helpers, the lovers, those kids that screw up, the one with the motor bike and the uncle everyone avoids because of his wandering hands. There is the clown everyone would like to kick, the know-it-all, the corner preacher, the guy that thinks he can run the place by being loudest and those science nerds in the corner building a better gadget.
And when a crisis hits everyone of them does what they do best to help - some run towards the explosion, some run for help, some donate blood, some start fund raising and you will never know who will do what.

idamtnboy wrote:

NotLazyJustTired wrote:Depending on what expert you listen to, communication is something like 70% to 80% non-verbal. The words we use are trivial in comparison to the big picture. Written communication does not incorporate verbal intonation, facial expression, eye contact, or many other forms of body language.

Report on NPR the other day about some research of poker players. By watching a player's face, or watching their entire body, persons could judge the value of the player's hand no better than pure guess. But, by watching only the player's hands as they moved cards and money on the table the people were able to judge the value of the player's hand substantially better than pure guess! Interesting. We never know what part of us conveys our real thoughts!

I must be ill because I am going to agree with you again by way of stating an example.

I sometimes teach a course or two at a local liberal arts college and they give the faculty some interesting seminars. Now I am just a businessman and never had expectations that I could teach as well or had as much knowledge about students as the full time instructors.

We had a room of about 20 experienced instructors - about half PhDs and half Masters. The facilitator asked if the instructors could read what was on student's minds by watching their facial expressions and body language. A bunch of them chimed in about how important this was and how they did it regularly because students would often not verbalize what they were thinking.

I kept quite because I figured they were a lot smarter than me and had many years of experience.

Then the facilitator paired us and gave one of each pair a little card that had the word for a common emotion. He asked each person with a card to use facial expressions and body language to depict that emotion and the paired instructor to guess the word.

Well you are probably anticipating what happened. The success rate was near zero and the point of the lesson was to talk with the students and get them to open up about what they are thinking because body language cannot be easily interpreted.

Boyce wrote:I must be ill because I am going to agree with you again by way of stating an example.

In this case quite a good illness to have!!

BlackSpinner wrote:This is a community. It includes the helpers, the lovers, those kids that screw up, the one with the motor bike and the uncle everyone avoids because of his wandering hands. There is the clown everyone would like to kick, the know-it-all, the corner preacher, the guy that thinks he can run the place by being loudest and those science nerds in the corner building a better gadget.
And when a crisis hits everyone of them does what they do best to help - some run towards the explosion, some run for help, some donate blood, some start fund raising and you will never know who will do what.

Well said!

BlackSpinner wrote:. . . the know-it-all . . .

As far as "know-it-alls," maybe they do know it all. I could care less how it's delivered. If I learn something, I'm just happy they posted. I really could care less.

All I ever suggest is for what worked for me on my Quattro and higher bi-pap pressures.... for me to suggest anything for nasal masks/pillows is out of my realm of knowledge.

I try make sure to insert smily faces to let folks know I am trying to inject some humor & not being snarky.

although my wife regularly tells me that "just because the joke is funny inside your head, doesn't mean its actually funny Dave"

Boyce wrote:[quote="
Then the facilitator paired us and gave one of each pair a little card that had the word for a common emotion. He asked each person with a card to use facial expressions and body language to depict that emotion and the paired instructor to guess the word.

Well you are probably anticipating what happened. The success rate was near zero and the point of the lesson was to talk with the students and get them to open up about what they are thinking because body language cannot be easily interpreted.

I remember reading a study about whether people could detect lying. THey included cops, detectives and prosecutors. The result was that no one could detect lying. The difference with cops, detectives and prosecutors was that while they didn't do any better they were convinced that they COULD detect lying way better than the average person could. You can see the disaster that this causes.

johnthomasmacdonald wrote: The result was that no one could detect lying.

That is just my luck! I married the only three people on the planet who did detect lying!

Space Oddity wrote:

johnthomasmacdonald wrote: The result was that no one could detect lying.

That is just my luck! I married the only three people on the planet who did detect lying!

You married three people? AT THE SAME TIME??? LOL

Space Oddity wrote:

johnthomasmacdonald wrote: The result was that no one could detect lying.

That is just my luck! I married the only three people on the planet who did detect lying!

No, there are at least two more. My first two detected lying and took me to the cleaners.

I believe the present one also can detect lying but she doesn't care.