The Great Vaseline™ Conspiracy of '06

Lipoid pneumonia is a rare clinical entity. Whew, thank goodness for that at least.

OK, I'll agree with that. But a little bit about the history of LP. From 1982 WHO:

With regard to adults, Ikeda (1937) summarized 106 cases from the
literature, Graef (1939) 22 cases, Bishop (1940) 136 cases, Freiman et
al. (1940) 58 cases, and Moel & Taylor (1943) 20 cases. They concluded
that lipid pneumonia, especially the diffuse chronic form, occurs more
frequently in adults than is generally believed. Liquid paraffin is by
far the most important etiological agent in the adult. Debilitated
states, dysphagia and impaired cough reflexes, because of neurological
or other disorders, are important predisposing factors. The authors
stress, however, that mineral oil is widely used without evident harm,
even in elderly persons. Wherever there is a real indication for this
type of medication, they see no reason to discontinue it. Extensive
use, especially self-medicated, of liquid paraffin intranasally or via
the oral route by debilitated or dysphagic patients should, however,
be discouraged (Bishop, 1940; Freiman et al., 1940)...

From the literature, it is apparent that with the recognition of
the causal factors and the change from oil-based to water-based
nose-drops, the incidence of the type of lipid pneumonia just
described has drastically decreased, since the end of the forties.

So here's the thing. Back when there was widespread use of this stuff, there was a significantly increased incidence of lipid pneumonia. It dropped off because people became aware of the dangers. But if you now have 10,000 sleeping nasal pillow patients use petroleum jelly for say, 3600 nights apiece over a ten-year period... I mean y'know? It's gonna happen.

While all this is great fun, even if everybody greasing up their pillows is thinking, "AHA, SAG is a rabble-rousing, hoaxifying, conspiring (oops, almost forgot annoying little) whatever", if they choose to use petroleum-based products, I'll bet they're at least being a whole lot more careful now than they were a week ago.

BTW, there's a high incidence of STD in caribou. So use protection. But if you use the pre-lubricated variety, then ...

It's been real.
SAG

People had liquid parafin in their food all the time before the 1950s when people used to use it to preserve homemade canned, bottled and frozen goods. So it would appear that the decline in instances of lipid pneumonia might be traced to the decline in use of liquid parafin in food preparation. I don't think a tiny dab in the nose equates. On second thought, it is only because I am actively evading my studying that I have allowed myself to get dragged into this ridiculous discussion. Anyway, I think I will switch to Bag Balm because it might be even better than Vaseline.

Caroline

Meanwhile, I'm going to put Bag Balm on the cpap wound on my nose right now. haaaruuuummmpppphhhhh!

Caroline

[quote="chdurie2"]Meanwhile, I'm going to put Bag Balm on the cpap wound on my nose right now. haaaruuuummmpppphhhhh!

Caroline

No, I wasn't kidding.

Naturally, you steered me to only one of two negative reviews on epinions.com. Out of 25 ratings on epinions.com, factoring in the two negative reviews, the stuff gets 4 of 5 stars. Most reviewers gave it 5 stars for use on humans--dry skin, cuts, abrasions, burns, whatever--kind of a super-vaseline.

I'm not terribly upset that the product doesn't require FDA approval; that the product does not require FDA approval does not mean that it wouldn't have gotten FDA approval it if required, and most of the drug products that have gotten us in trouble have been FDA-approved. these days it doesn't mean very much that the FDA has not approved something unless it has flunked approval, since it is known that the FDA doesn't do very much of anything. In courtrooms across the country, even judges view FDA approval --as a sign of quality-- as a joke.

I supposed you can get worked up over the disastrous consequences of using almost any product. But I just mostly look for efficacy.

Caroline

Charles Krauthammar wrote: ...and Congressional Democrats refuse to let us drill for vaseline in the Arctic National Wildlife Refugee out of concerns that the Caribou might inhale the vaseline and get lipoid pneumonia.

Charles, ADMIT IT, that stuff is TOXIC! Even buried underground (and only just barely) it is a threat to not just the caribou but to all wildlife in general. And to the environment, and the ozone layer, and probably to all life on this planet. Why does nobody seem to take this seriously?

This leads to only one conclusion, that stuff MUST BE REMOVED! And the sooner the better. Here is what is being done about it, this deserves our full support:

REMOVE TOXIC VASELINE FROM OUR NATIONAL PARKS

(Also, if anyone wants to contribute to Lee Raymond's retirement going-away party, here is some helpful information):

Fond farewell for Lee Raymond

I had planned on contributing to Lee Raymond's going-away party, but that was when I was suffering under the delusion that he was given a mere $350,000,000 upon retirement. As I have since learned the correct figure is actually $400,000,000 --- well, I must say, I no longer feel compelled to contribute. Call me stingy, but the man only deserves so much.

Sadly, I'm also forced to return the fishing rod I had intended to give him as a gift to enjoy in his retirement. Apparently his yachts are already equipped. Who knew?

I wonder if he could use a toaster...

Could always pitch in and send Lee on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney.

Nah... they might fight over who buys gas and who buys bullets. If Lee draws bullets he would be wise to buy the rubber ones.

I'm confused: what on earth do Lee Raymond, Dick Cheney, caribou, Santa Claus, Bill O'Rielly, middle eastern shieks, the environmental movement, and vaseline have to do with a discussion on CPAP and Nasal Pillows?

And I thought you're not supposed to use vaseline on nasal pillows because it can damage the material; am I wrong?

What IS going on with this post? Or is this some kind of a joke?

newton

Dear Newton,

They are dead serious but they also have low bloodox levels.

rooster

Aumigo wrote:

Another Caribou Rancher wrote:Dear Mr. Claus,

I also raise caribou (to supply five-star French restaurants in the Anchorage area) and I'm confused on this issue.

I have been using Ayr Gel, KY Jelly, and endangered whale blubber to lubricate my cariboozes' noses. I thought vaseline is not recommended for use with caribou because it can breakdown and deteriorate the leather on their headgear and harnesses...Am I wrong?

I didn't think vaseline was dangerous to the caribou themselves, but what I've read on this board has given me pause. I think, just to be on the safe side, caribou ranchers should stop using vaseline in caribou noses. Why take the risk when there are safe alternatives available?

Sean

Great, another self-pontificating Caribou expert spreading false information about vaseline and livestock.

You are a complete IDIOT. NO ONE on this board has ever suggested, recommended, or implied that you should put vaseline in a Caribou's nose. ALL we have said is that a SMALL amount of vaseline placed on the OUTSIDE of the NARES is a perfectly safe method for lubricating a Caribou's nose.

It makes me very angry when MORONs like Another Caribou Rancher come on this board anonymously and post erroneous information about cariboos. And I believe it is my sole responsibility to respond to this and make sure that people have accurate information about the use of Vaseline and Caribous. I am just very very angry about this. I am so Angry. I am an angry angry angry angry Caribou-Vaseline-lover.

I'm ANGRY!

Aumigo -- all I was trying to do was come on this board and get and share information about the use of vaseline with caribou. Your hostility was uncalled for. Did you even bother to read any of the links people have posted on this issue? Boy, as a newbie, I sure feel welcome here!

The personal attacks on me and other caribou ranchers was unjustified. This is why I rarely if ever post here and perfer to post on the CaribouLubeTalk.com board. It is more strictly moderted and I think posters are generally more respectful and courteous.

ACR

Folks, I apologize for how long this "debate" has gone on as I'm sure most of you are very tired of reading about it.

We all make choices in life, weighing the benefits against the risks, and, obviously, the use of Vaseline for protecting our caribou's noses and for reducing the irritation of our "extracurricular" late night activities with Caribou when applied to their buttocks.

What works for me, and what I'm completely comfortable with, is a LIGHT coating on the EXTERIOR of my caribou's nostrils and on their anal glands where my private parts make contact with the skin folds. It stays "moist" all night (unlike water-based gels), does not create its own irritation (like saline-based products), and in addition to eliminating irritation, helps provide a slightly better seal. I have never recommended "stuffing" your caribou's butt with it where, as rare and uncommon as it may be, it could be forced it into your lungs when you sniff their butts and create problems.

My main concern throughout all of this dialogue has been the use of "scare tactics," which many of our anonymous "Guests" are famous for. In fairness, especially to our newer members, I felt some form of re-butt-al was needed.

Yes, I have lost my temper, and for that I again apologize, but I assure you that I will continue to try and balance any and all overblown prattle and mis-information from those who are obviously here only to mislead or somehow feed their own caribou.

Thanks again to all of you for your patience and understanding.

NewbieNewton wrote:I'm confused: what on earth do Lee Raymond, Dick Cheney, caribou, Santa Claus, Bill O'Rielly, middle eastern shieks, the environmental movement, and vaseline have to do with a discussion on CPAP and Nasal PillowsWhat IS going on with this post? Or is this some kind of a joke?

Newton, first of all, I want to thank you for your invention of gravity. Some of us have found that quite useful. THANK YOU! (For some it hasn't exactly worked to our advantage. But NEVERMIND! )

Don't be fooled. This is really a discussion about Vaseline, which as everybody knows, if you put it on your nose, causes Nipoid Lipoomia, which is uniformly fatal. A slow, yet sudden and agonizing, though somewhat pleasant, demise. (At least part of the time). The above referenced individuals, whom you recognized instantly, are in fact the trilateral commission, which is desperately attempting to suppress the TRUTH about Vaseline. PLEASE don't be distracted by individuals posing as Caribou Cowboys, and the mindless prattle about Cariboozes cabooozes. It's a distraction. Truth is, THOUSANDS of women and innocent children, mostly civilians, die every day from Nipoid Lipoomia, and you probably NEVER hear about it in the daily news. Do you? OF COURSE NOT! Get the point? I rest my case.

(btw, Caribou are vulnerable to a vaseline-related disorder, Blimpoid Penoomia, which mostly only affects the gay caribou. It's HIGHLY CONTAGEOUS! Presently there is no cure, despite $BILLIONS of federal dollars studying this uh-LAHM-ing situation, if you know what i MEAN! )

Today I put Vaseline all over my face while studying outside because my skin is getting unbelievably dry--more so than usual. When I came inside, I washed my face and found that the Vaseline left a nice layer of moisturizing. So now I plan to use it whenever washing my face. Lipid pneumonia, I don't think so.

Caroline

If ever a thread needed to die, or at least be put out of its misery, this is it...

m