I'm just so tired

A quarter of a Tylenol with codeine, sleepy time herbal tea, frankness for hours before bed, wore the mask for over an hour before even going to bed, more than half an ambien, melatonin, tossed and turned last night, been in bed for almost an hour now and no sleep. Please universe, let me sleep with my cpap. I'm just so tired. Please, I'm begging. And now with my uncontrollable sobbing, my nose is now stuffed. I know I want to keep trying but it's getting to the point of choosing between madness/misery/death or letting myself sleep without it. I can't lose my job or go completely insane. At least before I could sort of sleep. I just so want to sleep with it to get relief but right now it's causing the utter opposite of that. It's going on a third week (14 days) with two nights of seven hours on the machine and the rest is fragmented on and off the machine and every morning after feeling worse than the last. I don't want want suggestions. I just want to get restful sleep. Nothing I do seems to help. Seems pointless. Almost a month now and two nights of seven hours straight. I'm just so utterly exhausted I don't know what to do.

My heart goes out to you. I have struggled with this too, and truly understand the feeling. I'm so sorry and I wish there was something more helpful to say. Just wanted you to know that someone read this in the wee hours and sends caring thoughts your way.

jjmahern wrote:A quarter of a Tylenol with codeine, sleepy time herbal tea, frankness for hours before bed, wore the mask for over an hour before even going to bed, more than half an ambien, melatonin, tossed and turned last night, been in bed for almost an hour now and no sleep. Please universe, let me sleep with my cpap. I'm just so tired. Please, I'm begging. And now with my uncontrollable sobbing, my nose is now stuffed. I know I want to keep trying but it's getting to the point of choosing between madness/misery/death or letting myself sleep without it. I can't lose my job or go completely insane. At least before I could sort of sleep. I just so want to sleep with it to get relief but right now it's causing the utter opposite of that. It's going on a third week (14 days) with two nights of seven hours on the machine and the rest is fragmented on and off the machine and every morning after feeling worse than the last. I don't want want suggestions. I just want to get restful sleep. Nothing I do seems to help. Seems pointless. Almost a month now and two nights of seven hours straight. I'm just so utterly exhausted I don't know what to do.

JMahern,

I have been in a similar situation for alot longer than you and there is no doubt it is hell. I totally empathize.

By the way, I am not trying to say my situation is worse than yours but just so you know that I understand what you are talking about.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.

49er

jjmahern wrote:A quarter of a Tylenol with codeine, sleepy time herbal tea, frankness for hours before bed, wore the mask for over an hour before even going to bed, more than half an ambien, melatonin, tossed and turned last night, been in bed for almost an hour now and no sleep. Please universe, let me sleep with my cpap. I'm just so tired. Please, I'm begging. And now with my uncontrollable sobbing, my nose is now stuffed. I know I want to keep trying but it's getting to the point of choosing between madness/misery/death or letting myself sleep without it. I can't lose my job or go completely insane. At least before I could sort of sleep. I just so want to sleep with it to get relief but right now it's causing the utter opposite of that. It's going on a third week (14 days) with two nights of seven hours on the machine and the rest is fragmented on and off the machine and every morning after feeling worse than the last. I don't want want suggestions. I just want to get restful sleep. Nothing I do seems to help. Seems pointless. Almost a month now and two nights of seven hours straight. I'm just so utterly exhausted I don't know what to do.

I am in the same situation. I can't sleep with my Bipap. I am struggling for a long time now. What is more I have many other health problems like Gerd/LPR, asthma, Hiatal hernia, total exhaustion, brain fog. I had to quit my job because I couldn't manage. I don't know hat to do. I am totalyy miserable and depressed. I can't take sleeping pills because I've been taking them for 5 years before I found out I suffer from UARS. And recently there is more and more articles about harmful effects of those pills. I can't give you any advice because I don't have any for myself either but my heart goes out to you.

I pretty much went thru the same thing, except I stayed away from Tylenol with codeine in it. It takes some time and hopefully things will get better for you. This 'initial panic mode' is often part of insomnia and CPAP. I think it will abate once your brain and central nervous system starts trusting the CPAP machine. I know this all sounds easy to say, but keep working on your issues and feel free to come back here and ask for specific answers to your problems. Things to look at include caffeine, meds, diet, exercise etc. Also: Search this site for 'fragmented sleep' and 'insomnia'.

Having that level of utter depletion is a hard place to be. There was a time (6 years ago) when I wouldn't have bet a nickel on my chances of living much longer. For me it was finally somewhat controlling my legs in addition to stopping my overuse of the ramp feature that began a turnaround for me. I hope your answers come soon and bring you some relief.

Sorry to hear that. What in particular is keeping you up?

The first thing to make sure of is that everything is comfortable and fits properly.

I know a few people who have been prescribed amitriptylene (in lower doses ie. 10-40 mg) to help sleep. Amitriptylene, when used in higher doses (50-300 mg) is used as an antidepressant but doesn't have antidepressant qualities when used at less than the therapeutic dosing. It can help those who have problems sleeping. It would at least be worth talking to your doctor about it. I wish I could offer more help.

You have pluck. It will happen.
Do not give up.

And I know people who were put on it for pain and got depressed!

I was finally able to sleep with CPAP for a few hours. I went back to bed at 10 and slept till 2pm. I hope tonight I can sleep with it. Thanks for all your understanding. It sometimes seems so hopeless.

Julie wrote:And I know people who were put on it for pain and got depressed!

I work in the health care field and I haven't heard of a person becoming depressed because of amitriptylene. Generally, if amitriptylene is prescribed for pain, that pain is chronic and the pain will not respond to normally prescribed analgesics. Examples would be post herpetic neuralgia or diabetic neuropathy. And by no means is amitriptylene always successful in alleviating chronic pain. It MAY only make it more tolerable. Chronic pain has it's own issues and one of them can be depression. Could it have been possible that the person(s) you referred to had chronic pain and was prescribed amitriptylene, as a last resort, to help minimize that pain? Could that friend(s) also have been depressed when the medication was prescribed but undiagnosed with respect to depression? Was that person then put on an antidepressant? If so, was the treatment successful?

I am not trying to be argumentative with respect to what occurred with your friend(s). Nor am I suggesting that amitriptylene is the answer to the needs of the poster in question. I was merely suggesting that the poster consider discussing amitriptylene as a possible treatment option with the physician. It is a commonly used medication and can be effective with insomnia. And quite frankly, from a personal standpoint, I would rather be on a short course of low dose amitriptylene than other routinely prescribed medications for insomnia.

I have personally used amitriptylene for sleep. It only took a 1/2 pill to give me a 7-8 hour sleep.

jjmahern wrote:I was finally able to sleep with CPAP for a few hours. I went back to bed at 10 and slept till 2pm. I hope tonight I can sleep with it. Thanks for all your understanding. It sometimes seems so hopeless.

The fact that you got some sleep with the machine is a great step, and in the right direction! Your situation is not hopeless, as evidenced by the fact that you actually got some sleep while using the machine. You have to hang in there with the therapy. Sometimes it takes "baby steps".

I am a newbie to xpap therapy myself and my therapy is a long way from what I would hope for. But I will hang in there for as long as it takes to achieve what I need to accomplish. And so should anyone else after having been diagnosed with SA as the consequences are potentially severe. It is not always easy, and at times extremely difficult. But the obstacles can be overcome!

I know that your therapy will get better. Listen to the other (more knowledgeable) people on this forum. They have a great deal of information to offer to those who need their help.

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you are - so at least don't feel that you are the only one who can't seem to get this thing to work. I'm amazed that i'm able to function at all. For the first time in my life, i dread the night.