I thought i was okay with this diagnosis and i am just NOT!

There is nothing left to say.....except I would like to add my best wishes to you Laura...Hang tough!!

Janice

Laura, I know the feelings that you describe. When my wife told my doctor that I held my breath in my sleep, I told them that I was dreaming about snorkeling in the Bahamas. they wouldn't buy it, and sent me for a sleep study anyway.

I have been reading the encouraging posts of the people on this forum. I have talked to some people that I work with and they have told me how much their lives have improved since they began treatment. I keep telling myself that this is a good thing, and my life will be better and longer for it.

In spite of all I learned since receiving my diagnosis, I was still fighting feelings of dread. But, the doctor said that while I am trying to sleep, my oxygen levels are dropping dangerously low. I left the office with a hug from my wife, a lump in my throat, and it probably didn't help that as I drove to work, Hootie was singing on the radio that I should "sit right down and have a beer and feel sorry for myself". I've done pretty well at holding it back, but I have lost it a few times, mostly when I am alone.

I know that this should be a positive experience, but there is this nagging voice in the back of my mind saying, "Just look at you! What's wrong with you? You used to be a nationally ranked athlete, and now you can't even breathe right. What happened to you?" I have tried to shut out the voices, but they just kept nagging at me. Well, I came home from my second sleep study this morning, and Ya know, sleeping with the cpap wasn't all that bad.

Give yourself credit, Laura, you are working on improving yourself, and making your life better, and in the process making yourself better. Sweep away the guilt and blame. They should have no further place in your life. You are making way for a better YOU.

JZap

Hi Laura,

I don't have much to add either except to say kudos big time on losing 60 pounds. Doing that is not the work of someone who is lazy.

As far as weight and apnea, I am thin and was diagnosed with it. So please stop blaming yourself for gaining weight.

Hang in there.

49er