HoseCrusher wrote:Back to the ballerina theory...
I would love to come up with a better theory, but it seems that there is a ballerina hidden inside of you and the only time you let it out is when you are trying to sleep...
LOL -- I'd make one ugly ballerina, that's for sure!!!
Dreams -- I frequently remember dreams, but not always. Saturday night, I woke up, mid dream, an hour after going to bed. I can't tell you NOW what it was about, but I remembered it vividly that night and into the next day.
I am almost 100% positive that there is not outside stimulous waking me up. Since I've been using the Ramp (which I still do NOT like), IF I make a point of restarting it every time I wake up (which I don't always), it DOES confirm and validate that I am, in fact, waking up anywhere from 4 or 5 (or more) times per night. Again, these are FULL awakenings, not just a light/casual waking up and turning over.
Without the ventilator, I still wake up, but not as fully as I do on it. It's more of a groggy/sleepy awakening that I barely remember.
I still an going on the premise that I am super sensitive to the pressure changes and that's what is waking me up. I also have a question that has me a bit perplexed....
Why is the machine increasing the pressure up to as much as 20 (sometimes to the old max of 23) when I've had it maxed at 18 for a while and everything seems fine? No desaturations and no significant change in the ventilator download data. I don't understand what would make the machine increase the pressure to that point several times during the night, but having it set lower isn't showing any problems. In fact, the pulse ox reports seem more stable on the lower maximum ipap (but I only have 2-3 days of it).
I just don't understand it.
I would like to try straight bipap s/t again, but I found that when I did NOT use AVAPS, I felt worse during the day. I don't fully understand that either, but the reality is I feel LESS bad using AVAPS.
I'm not going to discount the grief theory, but I'm not positive I'm onboard with it either. I am moody as hell, but if you figure that I've been on this silly machine since February 2010 and my sleep has been like this since then, it's no wonder I'm moody.
I'm getting back into the mode/mindset where I put off going to bed for as long as possible. Where I had gotten good about going to bed (to sleep) between 10 & 11, I'm irritated at the awakenings so I delay it as long as possible, sometimes up to 1:00 - 2:00am. That is way too late for me.
Blech. I think I'll go take a nap -- and yes, I will use my machine.