Diagnosed

FJC · Post by **FJC** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 6:26 am

How silly this has all become.

Severe, Moderate, Light, or non-OSA-sufferer or not, Lori DID use nightly CPAP therapy for months. So, her advice on living with CPAP therapy is valid. She had to deal with the masks and hoses and machines and mask-marks.

As someone new to CPAP (started in October 2005), I have found and continue to find her posts very informative. Her positive attitude has been insipiring. On one very frustrating night for me, when my old mask wouldn't work and my newly-delivered one was missing a critical part, I posted a plea for help; Lori's level-headed responses (and followup posts) helped me get through that, settle down, and most importantly, stick with my CPAP.

When Lori posted that she figured out she may not need to continue CPAP, my first thought was, "Great for her!". My second, more selfish thought, was, "Ack, we might be losing a great, positive, friendly source of information here."

Anyone who argues otherwise, I have this curse for you - "May your hose tangle annoyingly, and your headgear pull your hair." So there. Now cut it out before I add something about rainout.

ufo13 · Post by **ufo13** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:11 am

FJC:

Fine post-I agree with every word! Everyone knows LORI is a great one and I am not afraid to say it or sign my name to it! I, like others watched her be the first to greet a newbie or offer help or a kind word to someone and in general being such a KIND person. She is also not looking for any praise etc as she gets a little upset with me when I offer my opinion of how terriffic I think she is! She is just a HUMBLE person who knows her stuff and I for one always welcome her advice-PERIOD! Nuff said-So let the few people who have nothing to say, or nothing better to do than try to disparage a great one like LORI-I say be gone!

Steve,
ufo13

snowloft · Post by **snowloft** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:42 am

I don't know Lori, but I do know from the things she has posted that she is a very kind, considerate, fun and helpful person.

kurrykid · Post by **kurrykid** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 8:13 am

Lori,

I don't understand why you are holding the identity of the person and keep threatening to reveal it.

I say...tell us who she is. She is being disruptive to the whole group.

That's my opinion

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 9:44 am

kurrykid wrote:I don't understand why you are holding the identity of the person and keep threatening to reveal it.

I say...tell us who she is. She is being disruptive to the whole group.

2 people communicated by private message
1 of those people decided to publicly discuss this private communication
If that person had not revealed this private communiqué existed, it would have remained private
1 of those people continues to threaten to reveal the contents and the author of the private message

Who is being disruptive to the whole group?

Sick of it! · Post by **Sick of it!** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 10:54 am

It seems to me that as of late, most if not all of Lori's posts are concerning her, her feelings, and her looking for a reason to stay. Obviously she is craving attention, and it would appear negative or positive will work. Its great when people help others, its not so great when people constantly beg for attention. (this isn't to say that she didn't help others in the past, but her begging for approval and attention is getting tiresome)

And no, i am not the person who messaged you, I am just someone trying to deal with my illness and its required treatment.

Maybe I am just cranky from mask leak or something, but someone who keeps constantly rubbing it in my face that they no longer have to use cpap when I do borders on cruel.

Its great that you don't need cpap, telling it once is enough, and whether or not you did really need it doesn't matter, but give it a rest already!

Threatening people to reveal their private message to you is exactly the reason WHY guest posting should be allowed. I applaud whoever had enough courage to take the time to not only identify themselves, but to speak their mind despite it not being in agreement with you.

Who would want to subject themselves to your kind of open abuse? Surely not I, hence I post as guest.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 12:23 pm

I love a good family squabble!

As this soap opera unfolds, I've been riveted to every post; but now it's time to call a time out before your behavior poisons the cpaptalk well.

Now, children, listen to me:

Guest, I want you to simply follow the golden rule. If you taunt Lori one more time, shame on you. Your behavior is not becoming a lady (or a hosehead).

Lori, I want you to ignore Guest. She's only being a bully. You just keep being yourself. (Nobody likes a bully; so if Guest taunts you again, I expect you to tell us who she is and put an end to all this silliness).

I'd love to see it continue; but I want both of you to stop it now.

Bonnie · Post by **Bonnie** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 12:26 pm

2nd Guest: Where does Lori come off "rubbing it in your face?" I and probably many others are thrilled for her to be off treatment. I would be happy for ANYONE who found they no longer have to be hooked up to a machine. And where is the "open abuse" you stated? Surly not in any of her posts I read.

I truly hope your crankiness is due to a mask leak, that can be fixed.

rested gal · Post by **rested gal** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 12:41 pm

FJC wrote:How silly this has all become.

I agree absolutely, FJC, but probably for a different reason:

Sleepless on LI wrote:oh, if you all only knew. If she keeps it up, I will let you know who guest really is and it will feel so good!

Lori, if you've received an ugly unsolicited PM from someone (would have to be a registered user in order to send a PM to you) all you have to do is take it up privately with the administrator of this message board - Johnny Goodman. I'm sure he would be glad to deal with it, if someone has said something to you that really needs to be dealt with. He can certainly ban from this board anyone he thinks has behaved outrageously toward anyone personally.

If a registered person has told you in PRIVATE that he/she was the Guest who posted something that annoyed you, that's something for you to take up in PRIVATE with that person. Turning a personal annoyance or hurt feelings into a cheap mystery is not helpful, imho. Especially when it snowballs into "guest posts shouldn't be allowed" or into threats to make PRIVATE messages public. Just my opinion.

As far as I know, only the administrator of a board can look at IP numbers to get an idea of who might really have posted what. This board is run in a professional manner, so I doubt Johnny Goodman would share users' IP information with you, or with any of us.

Unless a registered person has told you they wrote a specific "guest" post, you cannot know for sure which, or how many, posts were written by that person. As sensitive as you've become to this, you may think it's one person, but in fact any number of people can be contributing "guest" posts in any threads.

Soap opera type threads on message boards attract "views", in the same way that we can't help looking at a car wreck. Just look at the numbers. But that's not what this message board is about.

Lori, you do so many helpful things for people on this board. I really don't understand why you don't ignore posts or PMs that irritate you and just spend your time doing what you enjoy - welcoming new people and offering encouragement. Stop rising to the bait, in other words.

WAFlowers · Post by **WAFlowers** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 12:56 pm

Sick of it! wrote:It seems to me that as of late, most if not all of Lori's posts are concerning her, her feelings, and her looking for a reason to stay. Obviously she is craving attention, and it would appear negative or positive will work. Its great when people help others, its not so great when people constantly beg for attention. (this isn't to say that she didn't help others in the past, but her begging for approval and attention is getting tiresome)

Craving attention? I suppose if you wanted to take a very uncharitable and cynical view you could come to that conclusion. Of course, having the sort of personality that would conclude what you did doesn't speak very well of you either.

Personally I can see that Lori is very conflicted, and rightly so. In attempting to resolve it she is reaching out the the very people who were so supportive and (mostly) friendly toward her. Doing so is a normal and healthy response from a well adjusted non-insular person. Your lack of understanding reveals an absence of empathy that you should probably investigate with professional help.

I suspect that her internal conflict will eventually drive her to leave this electronic community, to the great loss of most of us here. And posts like your's don't help. Of course, it is apparent that you don't want to help Lori and would prefer that she just "go away" so you'd be more comfortable. Apparently being confronted with someone who no longer needs to use CPAP is terribly upsetting to you.

Maybe I am just cranky from mask leak or something, but someone who keeps constantly rubbing it in my face that they no longer have to use cpap when I do borders on cruel.

Now we come to the crux of the matter: envy and sour grapes. I don't think there is a single person here who doesn't envy those who are able to kick the mask (and there is more than one, don't just single out Lori!). However to let your emotions of jealousy override decency and courtesy doesn't reflect well on anyone.

Threatening people to reveal their private message to you is exactly the reason WHY guest posting should be allowed. I applaud whoever had enough courage to take the time to not only identify themselves, but to speak their mind despite it not being in agreement with you.

We don't know what was said in that PM or how vicious it was. It is possible that it far overstepped the bounds and fell into an outright personal attack, and I have my suspicions about that.

Personally I'd never put in a private communique anything that I wouldn't be willing to have revealed in public. If the contents of the private message really reflect that badly on the person who sent it, then maybe they shouldn't have sent it at all. Or, at least, maybe they should have said it in a very different manner.

Who would want to subject themselves to your kind of open abuse? Surely not I, hence I post as guest.

And who should be willing to be subjected to any kind of abuse? If someone is misusing PM's to attack a registered user, should the target of the attacks just tolerate it silently? Maybe, but it would take a much better person than I to lay down quietly and be kicked.

I have the strength of my own convictions and hopefully have been polite (enough) in my presentation of them. Hence, I post not even under a pseudonym but under my True Name!

_________________

CPAPopedia Keywords Contained In This Post (Click For Definition): CPAP, Private Message

neversleeps · Post by **neversleeps** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 1:22 pm

rested gal wrote: Lori, if you've received an ugly unsolicited PM from someone (would have to be a registered user in order to send a PM to you) all you have to do is take it up privately with the administrator of this message board - Johnny Goodman. I'm sure he would be glad to deal with it, if someone has said something to you that really needs to be dealt with. He can certainly ban from this board anyone he thinks has behaved outrageously toward anyone personally.

That's a good point, r.g. Was it an unsolicited PM? The administrator would be able to see that.

WAFlowers wrote:We don't know what was said in that PM or how vicious it was. It is possible that it far overstepped the bounds and fell into an outright personal attack, and I have my suspicions about that.

That's a good point, WAF. Was it a vicious personal attack? The administrator would be able to see that.

Were there other PMs between the two prior to or following the PM Lori has brought to our attention? If so, did those PMs contain vicious personal attacks? The administrator would be able to see that too.

Then again, we are talking about PRIVATE MESSAGES here. It's none of our business. (I guess you could argue that Lori has made it our business, but there's no doubt it was intended as a personal conversation between two people, so it really is none of our business.)

It is like a soap opera, isn't it? But not a very good one...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 1:23 pm

Bonnie wrote:And where is the "open abuse" you stated? Surly not in any of her posts I read.

Sleepless on LI wrote:It's unfathomable that she pretends to be normal...

You are a coward and an insult to this site...

I have told the ill person who has identified herself to me...

that sniveling little coward...

She just wants to continue this sick little game she is playing. Hopefully she'll eventually tire of it and find someone else to stalk...

Sign in and I'll talk to you. Till then, gth. Maybe you can figure out that acronym. You sneaky coward...I know who you are. Maybe I'll just share it with everyone if you continue to keep this up...

Open and abusive.

neversleeps · Post by **neversleeps** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 2:50 pm

ozij wrote:In another thread - Rested Gal and others have said things I've been mulling about since yesterday....

"I hope that some of the dramatic personal reactions to posts that would have been better simply ignored (imho) won't make first-time message board users reluctant to post as an anonymous Guest if that makes them feel more comfortable."
The comfort any "Guest" can gain from this forum is its most important aspect. For some of those Guests, the ability to get an answer to their question can make or break their therapy. And we all know how difficult, and health saving - some even say life saving - this therapy can be. Registration entails giving your email address to the forum admin - and that maybe too much for some people.

Despite the good humor and friendliness, this forum is not supposed to be a social club. The humor, banter, mutual complimenting, etc. are a by product, but not the reason for it's existence. It is not a place where those who consider themselves "good guys and gals" should try to push out those they consider "bad". I was shocked to read a statement like the following "<snip> and NOBODY who is the type of member who truly belongs here should mind.<snip>" That statement makes it sound like someone has the right to judge who is the "type of member" who does and who does not "truly" belong here.

Factual information should be pointed out. Mistaken statements should be corrected, and this can, and should be done politely, and generally is. NOBODY should be told they don't belong here, or don't "truly" belong here. And NOBODY should be made to feel they represent a "type" of human being.

LDuyer wrote:Unfortunately in the area of free speech often in order to allow the good, we have to accept the bad, ignor the bad and go on.
Yes.
And ignore means ignore.

Ignore, according to my copy of the American college dictionary means: "to refrain from noticing or recognizing".

Being recognized is a very basic human need, and I have no doubt that all of us more constant posters express our need for recognition in that way. But let's try to limit it to being recognized for our tips, our sense of humor, our ability to give each other practical help, to find information that others can use. Posting here should not become a "personality beauty contest" nor are we in a "who is the best interpreter of motives" competition.

Dorothy Rowe, a very wise woman, once wrote: "Power is the right to have your interpretations prevail over other people's interpretations". We have recently been witnessing a power struggle between two people very intent on having their interpretations prevail.

Each of the two has a lot to contribute to this forum, and I am begging them: please ignore each other. Let go.

Some support is better given in private. As are some expressions of thanks. As are some expressions of criticism.

Insisting in public that someone else is this or that kind of person is giving that person the recognition they crave.

Ignore. Don't talk about. Don't describe. Don't make in issue of. Don't mention. Don't even say you are ignoring.

Just ignore and let us all go on to other things.

O.

Sleepless on LI · Post by **Sleepless on LI** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 5:36 pm

This is my final post on the subject, I promise. And it has nothing to do with any of the continual non-stop postings by the person who sent me the PM who now constantly poses as a guest.

Yes, I did write to Johnny who was extremely kind and sympathetic, but cannot to do anything since it is a public forum. Perhaps as someone suggested just now, I should have forwarded the letter if it really is something within his control to ban this person from the site. But I really have lost interest in this whole pathetic ordeal already.

And in answer to whoever asked if it was a vicious personal attack, times it by a hundred and you may get the gist of why I am taking the stance that I am. And to continue to seriously bait me with her bogus "guest" posts is just an indication of what I'm dealing with, not to mention it can happen to anyone else who posts here too. I doubt I'm the exception.

I have bigger fish to fry and am not going to defend my view on the situation anymore or actually say another word about it. "GUEST" knows I know who is writing these posts so it doesn't bother me at all anymore. I was sickened by the whole thing, which was my point about guest posters being allowed to attacked registered users, as Bill pointed out, but I've run out of caring at all. I will not allow anyone, including this "person," to run me out of town on the next train.

You guys have my word, I am done with this issue. The only voice you hear will be that of "guest" continuing to badmouth me and trying to discredit me, but I really couldn't care less anymore. I guess the inital shock has worn off.

And to all of you who wrote me those beautiful PMs, and have taken a stance in my support on this thread, thank you again. I will always have all your backs, too.

Guest, your turn...but from now on, you'll be playing alone unless someone else cares to answer you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 5:58 pm

ozij wrote:In another thread - Rested Gal and others have said things I've been mulling about since yesterday....

"I hope that some of the dramatic personal reactions to posts that would have been better simply ignored (imho) won't make first-time message board users reluctant to post as an anonymous Guest if that makes them feel more comfortable."
The comfort any "Guest" can gain from this forum is its most important aspect. For some of those Guests, the ability to get an answer to their question can make or break their therapy. And we all know how difficult, and health saving - some even say life saving - this therapy can be. Registration entails giving your email address to the forum admin - and that maybe too much for some people.

Despite the good humor and friendliness, this forum is not supposed to be a social club. The humor, banter, mutual complimenting, etc. are a by product, but not the reason for it's existence. It is not a place where those who consider themselves "good guys and gals" should try to push out those they consider "bad". I was shocked to read a statement like the following "<snip> and NOBODY who is the type of member who truly belongs here should mind.<snip>" That statement makes it sound like someone has the right to judge who is the "type of member" who does and who does not "truly" belong here.

Factual information should be pointed out. Mistaken statements should be corrected, and this can, and should be done politely, and generally is. NOBODY should be told they don't belong here, or don't "truly" belong here. And NOBODY should be made to feel they represent a "type" of human being.

LDuyer wrote:Unfortunately in the area of free speech often in order to allow the good, we have to accept the bad, ignor the bad and go on.
Yes.
And ignore means ignore.

Ignore, according to my copy of the American college dictionary means: "to refrain from noticing or recognizing".

Being recognized is a very basic human need, and I have no doubt that all of us more constant posters express our need for recognition in that way. But let's try to limit it to being recognized for our tips, our sense of humor, our ability to give each other practical help, to find information that others can use. Posting here should not become a "personality beauty contest" nor are we in a "who is the best interpreter of motives" competition.

Dorothy Rowe, a very wise woman, once wrote: "Power is the right to have your interpretations prevail over other people's interpretations". We have recently been witnessing a power struggle between two people very intent on having their interpretations prevail.

Each of the two has a lot to contribute to this forum, and I am begging them: please ignore each other. Let go.

Some support is better given in private. As are some expressions of thanks. As are some expressions of criticism.

Insisting in public that someone else is this or that kind of person is giving that person the recognition they crave.

Ignore. Don't talk about. Don't describe. Don't make in issue of. Don't mention. Don't even say you are ignoring.

Just ignore and let us all go on to other things.

O.

Diagnosed

Lori

Family Feud