Partner & CPAP

Howdy folks.

I have been a CPAP user for about 6 years. My partner made me go have a sleep study, and I am glad he did. I was always tired and when it was time to get up I always felt like I hadn't even been to bed. Now things are MUCH better.

My partner has started snoring more and more so I made him go get a sleep study. He has been in denial about his snoring for years. The sleep study found he did have sleep apnea (duh!). Now he has a machine and is having a hard time with it. He says he doesn't have sleep apnea and hates the machine. He won't wear the mask all night and keeps saying it bothers him.

How do I help him get to the point of acceptance of the machine? I realize that it hasn't been but a little over a week since he got the machine.

Thanks
John

How about if you record his snoring and those non breathes he doesn't take? Then play it back for him. Does he not understand that the sleep study proved he has problems......... Have him read some literature on the subject also. I don't know how successful he will be on therapy if he doesn't believe he needs it. For me there was no question. If I needed it I was going to do it and not fail.

I actually dId record him snoring. I even played the recording for the sleep doctor.

Well ---- He must be a pretty stubborn fellow!

Have you tried getting him to wear it during the day just walking around or in the evening watching tv? Remember, persistance and patience and of course GOOD LUCK!!!!!
Cheers
N

One of the best motivators to use cpap is results. If he could keep that mask on all night, I am sure he would feel a difference for the better. However if he doesn't like his mask, that's a real problem, one that needs to be addressed. Has he tried a variety of masks, or just one? If only one, it is a good idea to try others. Does he have high blood pressure or diabetes, something that can show concrete improvement with cpap use? That would be good too. Having motivation and having a comfortable mask are two really important things.

I wish you luck!

We all know that saying " you can lead a horse to water . . ."

Perhaps your partner is a lot like me, the more people insist, the more I'm going to dig my heels in and say NO! It has to be my idea, in MY control, not anyone else's. So you may have to back off, as hard as that may be.

The only thing you can do is tell him how much you love him, and that you want him around cognitively clear, and physically healthy and you hope that he will do what he needs to do to be there for you. Then step back, tape your mouth shut, and let him battle this demon himself.

It isn't easy to do this--it's the hardest thing ever. But it's the only hope of success you have.

OKCCowboy,

Good luck with getting your partner to participate in the treatment he needs. Although it is true that power struggles and nagging don't work, few can resist a powerful motivator. There must be something that he wants that you can use to make a deal with him.

Is your partner the black one or the brown one in the picture?

Thom (the human companion) along with Shadow, 9, Boswell, 8; Payton, 4; Logan, 3; all Colies of some sort?

Try to find out more about what is bothering him... is it the mask itself, the pressure, feeling like he can't breath, etc? If you could post here what the issue(s) are, there will be plenty of people willing to offer suggestions. Sometimes, just simply a change in mask, for example, might make all the difference. But, unless we know more about the specifics, it's hard to offer specific suggestions.

ThanKs for the advice folks. He is being stubborn and he knows it will help him. Both his father and sister are on CPAP machines. My partner is fortunate in that he got an S9 auto with a swift fx mask and the heated tubing!

I agree with Janknitz and others who point out that too much insistence may be counterproductive. The world is full of ornery so-and-sos who don't like to be told what to do. (I say that using this forum as a microcosm.) Your example of success, and those of his father and sister, are far more eloquent arguments than anything any of you could possibly say. They quietly proclaim that CPAP works and problems can be overcome. Saying anything more just gives him something to resent and push back against. Whenever he raises a practical problem, have good suggestions of what he can try.

My sister-in-law got my brother to use a CPAP, and I thought he was the stubbornest creature on the planet.
Love will prevail. My husband was stubborn, too; but he wears it every night--even when he couldn't feel the benefit.
Patience, baby steps, and the gentlest persuasion, good luck. Sleep well.

Are those labradoodles? They are very cute!

Perhaps you could have him keep a nightly diary.. and he can lay in bed with a notebook, and write down IN the moment
what it is that is bothering him AS it happens... . and maybe try to tackle on thing at a time..

or he can make a note of why he took it off when he does.. something more specific than " I hate this effing thing!"


If everything is is okay as its going to get, fit, pressure, etc..

he can do what I did.. I knew I had to figure out a way to go to sleep with it, so I just pretended I had been kidnapped, and this was
the method of torture my captors were using.. ha, I could take it, bring it on!

so when it comes to wussiness, that was a big motivator for me.. I was determined to not be a wuss about it, for awhile..
That being said, the second night I packed it up to take it back to the hospital.. gosh I didnt know I knew so many cuss words!
The fine folks on this board talked me down though..

Gosh, h es got the best of the best... is his pressure range all dialed in?

I have the s nine and swift fx.. a little trick with those nose pillows is to take your fist or hand and smash a little "nose pillow" basin in our pillow
so they dont rub up against anything.. you can learn to sleep with one hand below the pillows to protect them, and that helps but it takes a wee
bit of practice.. one week, that aint enough time to say you TRIED.. before ya give up.. not even if youre trying to herd gerbils..
tell him to hang in there!