OT - Forum Etiquette Question

[rested gal]

OK way OT. Should I delete this post? Let me know and i will.

Nope, no need to delete it at all, Larry. It was a very good post, "Off Topic" or not.

[Madalot]

Well, I'm new here, so can't answer the question with regards to PM's.

But what I've seen so far, a few (not most) posters seem to follow two guidelines:

1) Offer general advice to the original poster without actually reading and/or answering the specific question they are asking.

2) If someone suggests that we shouldn't be changing our own pressures, or that we have no need to read our own data, send personal insults to
them and threaten to get them banned.

Well, I do understand that perhaps I joined the forum at a bad time, and also that a lot of posters (including me!!) have come across as perhaps less then friendly because we're just tired and grumpy, so we need to cut everyone some slack.

However, I do wish it were a bit friendly and forgiving, and I know that I've been guilty of appearing unfriendly and confrontational myself. I apologize for that.

I do hope however, that I will get everything sorter out with my therapy, and will eventually down the road be able to help others on this forum.

And guys and ladies, please try not to take this post as a rant. It is not. I'm just as a newcomer telling you so far what my impression of of this forum is like.

And as far my own postings, I _do_ understand the concept of _tought love_ and I do understand people's frustration at me.
Hopefully I'm getting better as time goes one.

OK way OT. Should I delete this post? Let me know and i will.

As the original poster here, I'm going to say that there's no need to delete your post.

And yeah -- I think you came on here at a very difficult time and have had the misfortune to see the worst in almost everyone that posts here, including me.

And I understand why you feel the way you do, but I'd ask that you try to consider something. What happened here (and probably isn't over quite yet) is a person coming to this forum and trying to function outside the realm of what this forum was designed for. What the purpose is/was is still a mystery to me, but it was pretty obvious to most people that the intention was NOT to help people get the most out of their cpap therapy.

Imagine an alcohol salesman attending AA Meetings AND insisting that the people there are just weak and could handle the alcohol if they did exactly what he said. Do you think the salesperson would be successful in his endeavors or would the people generally just dislike him from the start?

Is it okay for an alcohol salesman to try to sell his products? Sure! But he needs to think about the AUDIENCE to whom he's trying to sell.

A person coming to a cpap therapy SUPPORT and EDUCATION forum who immediately starts out saying "Patients are Stupid" just isn't encouraging people to welcome him. And when people stood up for themselves and their right to be informed about their condition and therapy, he got angry and accused the people here of not wanting him because he's a professional in the field. Now, THAT'S stupid. Whether he was a patient, a professional in the field, a fireman, a doctor, a secretary, an alien -- that is not what mattered. It was the way he came in, the attitude he came with and the way he treated the people here. That's what got him attacked.

Larry -- I haven't seen many of your posts and have no idea what you're referring to when you say that you may not have been as friendly because you are grumpy. Grumpy is one thing and THAT I can understand. Different point of view? Understandable too.

This is a forum where PATIENTS come to learn and connect with other people dealing with the same thing they are. If a person is someone that believes that patients should NOT be adjusting their machines on their own, I can respect that belief even if I don't completely agree with it. But when you start out saying "patients are stupid" -- well, I think it's obvious where my mind went (as well as most other people that participate here).

Your first lines saying that people only read part of a question, then don't answer it -- and people are attacked for having a different view -- I have to say that in my experience here, that's not the norm. Perhaps it's what you've experienced, and for that, I'm sorry.

I hope things will get better here for everyone. A little respect and understanding from everyone will go a long way to making this a better place.

[Emilia]

I can empathize with Larry a bit. Had I come to this forum at the height of the interloper debacle, I probably would have backed away and turned to other forums. I was lucky enough to come here a few months ago and was welcomed and surrounded by helpful mentors from the get go. I never participated in any of the drama surrounding the interloper although I lurked a bit and found it all too stressful. I am grateful to those who had the fortitude to handle said person, and I am equally happy he has been banned. I do hope it is behind us now, and while we probably will see others like him again, I know that the overwhelming majority of the folks on here are nothing but caring, helpful, and experienced members of our cpap family.

Larry, I hope you will stick around....there is much to be shared and learned here. Welcome aboard.... and remember, once need not participate in any discussion you choose not to. Hopefully, you will become a contributing member of the forum and pay it forward to newbies down the road!

[chunkyfrog]

Yes, Larry, I, too, understand your frustration--(refer to some my old posts)
I still can get on a rant. (and generally ride it around 'til it's good and dead)

--Back on topic; I have been guilty of not checking my PM's in a timely manner;
but wonder why some were sent--since open forum would have been far more appropriate, considering content.

[Jaylee]

I think I must always miss the good stuff that happens here. I am always out of the drama loop.

[Madalot]

I feel really badly for any newcomer that joins a forum like this during times of turmoil. I can say the same thing as Emilia and say that had all this stuff been going on when I first came here, I would have left and never come back. So, I too can empathize with Larry's post and his point of view.

I think the "behavior" (and let's leave it at that) that has plagued this site in recent weeks makes it almost impossible for somebody new to come in here and see the site for what is really is -- a great place, with great people, great information and great support.

I hope Larry (and anybody new that has been turned off) gives this site a chance. It will be worth it in the long run.

[chunkyfrog]

Jaylee:
You didn't miss much: weird, then ugly, then uglier still, until good ol' Johnny stepped in and 'fixed' it. (we hope)

[DoriC]

I think I must always miss the good stuff that happens here. I am always out of the drama loop.

And how about 100 pages or more of "Love in the Forum"? That was good stuff and you were right there! :

[Jaylee]

I think I must always miss the good stuff that happens here. I am always out of the drama loop.

And how about 100 pages or more of "Love in the Forum"? That was good stuff and you were right there! :

Oh, I don't consider that drama. No one was fighting, that I know of. We are gentle with each other in the Love threads.

[blusaber]

[quote="Madalot"]I feel really badly for any newcomer that joins a forum like this during times of turmoil. I can say the same thing as Emilia and say that had all this stuff been going on when I first came here, I would have left and never come back.

I think the "behavior" (and let's leave it at that) that has plagued this site in recent weeks makes it almost impossible for somebody new to come in here and see the site for what is really is -- a great place, with great people, great information and great support.

Hey all

I am Fairly new to the forum and did join around the time of the turmoil . Did it scare me off Noooooo way. I have been on cpap for the last ten years and knew nothing other than turn the machine on and go to sleep. After my sleep study I was given a machine cut loose and NEVER contacted again. Since joining I have not asked a single question but I am ten fold more involved in my therapy and actually Know something now.

Anyone spending more than ten minutes reading here knows who the KIND, CARING, AND HELP FULL PEOPLE ARE...... its in all of your posts.... your compassion, your knowledge, your time. I am always amazed. I could start naming names but ya all kinda know anyway. So don't worry to much about us newbs for the few that ask and receive there are many more of us who read learn and become better people by your example

Just saying
I'll return to my lurking rock now with a big thank you to to Madalot and all mthe others who have taught me well with out your knowing it.

My proudest moment was last Friday when I walked out of the PCP office with a script for an autoset, heated humidifer, and mask good for a duration of lifetime as needed and it was uploaded to Cpap.com all of which again Ya all taught me

Gary

[Madalot]

Just saying I'll return to my lurking rock now with a big thank you to to Madalot and all mthe others who have taught me well with out your knowing it.

My proudest moment was last Friday when I walked out of the PCP office with a script for an autoset, heated humidifer, and mask good for a duration of lifetime as needed and it was uploaded to Cpap.com all of which again Ya all taught me

Thank you so much for posting this, Gary. I think I needed to hear that the nonsense that has plagued this site has not scared off all newcomers. I'm glad that you have been able to get help here and saw through the silliness to see the good.

Lurk as much as you need, but please post some -- it's always nice to hear how people are doing.

[mars]

Well, I do understand that perhaps I joined the forum at a bad time, and also that a lot of posters (including me!!) have come across as perhaps less then friendly because we're just tired and grumpy, so we need to cut everyone some slack.


And as far my own postings, I _do_ understand the concept of _tought love_ and I do understand people's frustration at me.
Hopefully I'm getting better as time goes one.

OK way OT. Should I delete this post? Let me know and i will.

Hi Larry

Great post - the fog appears to have lifted

Discussing how the Forum works is never off topic, in my view.

And as one of the original "tough love" posters that you met, it is great to see how much improved you are.

Well done

Mars