Deleted

ifrimmel wrote: Can a mod lock this.

You think there are mods here? How long have you been a member?

On my profile .. Jan 26.. So .. no I don't know if a mod can lock this. Wanna start a fight ?

Seems there is plenty going around ?

Flameproof vest .. 5 sizes to small .. ON Cowering behind babies and really cute doggies GIVE IT TO ME!!

ifrimmel wrote:On my profile .. Jan 26.. So .. no I don't know if a mod can lock this. Wanna start a fight ?
Flameproof vest .. 5 sizes to small .. ON GIVE IT TO ME!!

Madalot wrote: Ah, family obligations have forced me BACK to my desk and thus the computer again. No rest for the weary today.

If my situation helps just one person get better treatment or care for themselves, it will be worth it. Absolutely, positively. And these banterings back and forth are just fine -- until the bantering turns to telling me that I must do this or must do that, or even more importantly, saying things that make me question my medical team's ability and their handling of my case. Questioning is okay, but not some of the things that have been said. For example, you don't need this, you should have this and there's no way that's possible, or you don't qualify for that expensive "toy" -- these types of comments aren't helpful to anybody and detract from the purpose that so many seem to have for my threads/situation.

Weary, weary, weary --

The problem with an Internet forum is that all threads have a number of purposes -- as do all responses.
Saying things that cast doubt on a doctor's ability and their handling of a case can't be avoided on a forum like this - in the beginning.

However, madalot has by now made it very clear that she considers her doctors excellent, and their handling of her case all that it necessary. Furthermore, madalot finds it upsetting when others think otherwise about the way her doctors handle her case and try to tell her there are better ways of helping her.

Death is looming large and close in Kathy's life. Much closer and more terrifying than for most of us. And this is on her mind day in and day out. The central issue is not the kind of therapy she's getting. It's not so much about the shortness of her breath, as it is about the shortness of her expected life-span. And sometimes, when things become that frightening, one of our ways of denying this fact is for us to focus on technical aspects. Which is clearly driving madalot up the wall, since she feels that demeans her.

I've been on this forum for 5 years -- I know it consists of many many good, caring people. I know the each and every one of the people trying to give you suggestions, Kathy, means well - and has no intention of demeaning you. I also know infuriating and frustrating in must be to talk about existential problems and be faced with technical replies. It is so difficult for any of us to accept our human frailties and limitations, and the inevitability of death. We know we will die, but most of the time we live as though if only the right technical solution were found, we would live forever.

You, Kathy, no longer have the luxury of living your life as though there were only technical, engineering problems in it. And that is why it is now time for us to sit on our itchy fingers, and refrain from making concrete suggestions.

I'm pretty sure you have to put up a brave face in front of you nearest and dearest, Kathy. I hope we will be able to give you an environment here in which you don't need to do that.

Wishing you the best,
O.

Ozij
Well stated I hope everyone will take your advice & let Madalot vent without being judgemental.

Hi All

The following quotes are meant to serve as examples in my discussion that follows. Nothing I say to Ozij, -SWS and JNK is meant as a personal attack, especially as I consider them to be my friends. But getting specific is really the only way I can address this serious problem. I hope they all have a big enough heart to undestand.

I know Ozij and others do not see things the way I do, but as I used to see things their way once, I know that change is possible. Even for Muffy/Sag.

Muffy has a unique way of communicating, and it was clearly not the way to make things clear for you. Ozij

Dissembling does not really suit you, Ozij. Madalot had this to say -

I've posted, vented and asked for input and suggestions. If somehow that equates to my being obligated to provide specific information, and be okay with very forceful comments that both undermine and belittle me and my situation, well that's kind of news to me. If it's typical dynamics of message boards -- that sure doesn't say much for them or the people that participate, does it? Madalot

-SWS said -

Well, the main purpose of this thread should be for you. That you find typical message board dynamics both objectionable and tiring is very understandable for anyone in your situation IMHO. -SWS

The way Muffy "helps" is not typical of the way most people are help on this board. Most people help with respect, and some understanding that they are talking to another human being.

and more from Ozij

I know the each and every one of the people trying to give you suggestions, Kathy, means well - and has no intention of demeaning you. Ozij

Wrong Ozij - Muggy/SAG is renowned for posting in a demeaning way. I cannot believe this is accidental. Remember what he did to the fireman about a year or so ago. The fireman should have been welcomed here, not left to be savaged by SAG. I think the thread has been deleted, but I found a quote by DSM about it on -

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=40801&p=357863&hili ... an#p357863

I read the original thread, as many of you did, and the fireman was hounded off the forum by SAG. It was a SAG power trip, and here he is, still on the forum, still abusing newcomers, and newcomers still being told to accept the abuse.

However, madalot has by now made it very clear that she considers her doctors excellent, and their handling of her case all that it necessary. Furthermore, madalot finds it upsetting when others think otherwise about the way her doctors handle her case and try to tell her there are better ways of helping her. Ozij

Sorry, Ozij, but you are still dissembling. Read Madalots posts again - it is not "when others think otherwise" but

very forceful comments that both undermine and belittle me and my situation, Madalot

and JNK

I have fussed at Muffy for his/her tone as perceived by others before. (Kind of a silly thing for me to do, since I've only been around this stuff less than two years, and Muffy has been around forums long enough to remember when Al Gore invented them. JNK

I would say the opposite is true, JNK. The longer you are on the Forum the more chance you have of being desensitised to the abuse that is constantly ignored, with the newcomer being told it is they who have to put up with it, rather than Muffy being told to get his abusive way of questioning changed to something that shows some respect. Who cares how long Muffy has been around, how does that excuse abuse?

I can't constructively comment on the specifics of what Muffy says. It is way over my head. But I've read enough of his/her posts to know how much he/she cares. And I think the humor and approach are partly HIS/HER way of dealing with the stress of helping people dealing with situations they shouldn't have to deal with. JNK

Thats stretching it a bit, JNK. You are saying that the stress of dealing with his patients is dealt with by abusing people on this Forum. But if that is true, then he should be banned from the Forum.

Madalot says -

But I am not just a screen name. Nobody that comes here is just a screen name. We're real people, living real lives and frequently under a tremendous amount of stress. And even though I was very concerned about doing it in the first place, I shared a ton of information about my situation in that hopes that I could get some insight, input and a bit of support when I got frustrated. Even when posting, I had an inkling of worry about doing it in the first place because it was too specific.

Being treated like an idiot by someone that "really only wants to help" convinced me that I need to back off completely and keep my personal situation off the internet.

And I'm very sorry to those that said they were following my story with great interest. I would not have done this had it not been for the "tone" of that last very long message to me.

And to those that poked fun at me and ridiculed me over this -- You all have to live with yourselves -- I don't. I expected better from supposedly mature adults. Madalot

No dissembling there - that is the real deal. And I hope, but will not hold my breath, that some of the more established members who continually excuse Muffy's abuse, will start to see it for what it is. Mature adults do not ignore abuse, even with those who are their friends, they do something about it.

Sorry, but I'm getting a little testy today with all of this. As I've said, I'm tired and don't feel well. I never feel good, but the last couple weeks have been even worse. But what's the saddest of all of it, the machine and my breathing problems may have absolutely nothing to do with why I feel like crap right now. Madalot

In other words, the way we allowed her to be treated on this Forum has made her feel worse. CONGRATULATIONS GUYS.
And telling her she should come back would not have helped.

If my situation helps just one person get better treatment or care for themselves, it will be worth it. Absolutely, positively. And these banterings back and forth are just fine -- until the bantering turns to telling me that I must do this or must do that, or even more importantly, saying things that make me question my medical team's ability and their handling of my case. Questioning is okay, but not some of the things that have been said. For example, you don't need this, you should have this and there's no way that's possible, or you don't qualify for that expensive "toy" -- these types of comments aren't helpful to anybody and detract from the purpose that so many seem to have for my threads/situation. Madalot

And remember that Madalot is bending over backwards to be polite in her posts.

I think thats about it.

Now perhaps we can spare a moment to remember those who are not here because of Muffy/Sag. This forum is not a feeder for Muffy, and we are not experimental sheep. It is for cpap users who need help, and want to help.

What was that saying in Alcoholics Anonymous? - oh yes - half measures avail us nothing. Well, if I'm going to piss off most of the older members of this Forum, and some that I believe to be friends, then I might as well make a good job of it.

And lets allow Muffy/SAG the final word -

And what makes this case so interesting is that if the major underlying entity is SDB, then it needs a pressure approach, but if it is a respiratory failure problem, then a volume-oriented attack would probably have more benefit, making this a great study case. Muffy

Mars

Dear Mars,

Why is it

that you just can't

leave well enough

alone?


Really??

Really wrote:Dear Mars,

Why is it

that you just can't

leave well enough

alone?


Really??

Because, my dear Really

leaving well enough alone

allows the abuse to continue.

I don't want that, and I do not understand why anyone else would.

I hope that answers your question, and maybe you should ask yourself why you asked it.

cheers

Mars

Mars "opinions" are just that. The reason I didn't respond to your first two insistent posts is because I disagreed with your opinion. Looking at your third insistent post I once again disagree with your ever-so-persistent opinion.

BTW, any discussion on this message board is purely voluntary---despite insistences by either you or Muffy.

-SWS wrote:Mars "opinions" are just that. The reason I didn't respond to your first two insistent posts is because I disagreed with your opinion. Looking at your third insistent post I once again disagree with your ever-so-persistent opinion.

BTW, any discussion on this message board is purely voluntary---despite insistences by either you or Muffy.

My ever-so-persistent presentation of facts is because those with authority on this forum refuse to face the facts, and hide behind the assertion that it is just "opinion".

If what Madalot says is just her "opinion", then you are condoning abuse.
If what I presented is just "opinion", then your scientific logic has seriously failed you.

I am sorry you think that way.

Mars

mars wrote: And remember that Madalot is bending over backwards to be polite in her posts.

Sounds like you might have let Madalot's manipulative meanderings get the best of you.

Banned

Banned wrote:

mars wrote:
And remember that Madalot is bending over backwards to be polite in her posts.

Sounds like you might have let Madalot's manipulative meanderings get the best of you.

Banned

Sounds like you have joined the "Lets Abuse The Newcomers" club.

I don't suppose you paid any attention to the feelings expressed, or the history of Muffy/Sag, of which you are well aware of.
To call someone's pain manipulative meanderings puts you right there with the abusers.

I wonder how many more are going to come out of the closet? This should be interesting.

By the way, I know that many who agree with me are reticent to post just because they can expect dismissive remarks like you have just given. I suppose putting people down makes you feel big, but it actually makes you a very mean-spirited person.

Mars

Mars

mars wrote: If what I presented is just "opinion", then your scientific logic has seriously failed you.

Again, that assessment is your opinion.

What I honestly find illogical:
1) A poster who claims to wish Madalot the best repeatedly attempts to turn her thread into a very ugly battle, and
2) A poster with your track record of diatribes and rants taking it upon himself to clean house.

I'm done with this thread regardless of your persistent opinion Mars. No hard feelings between the two of us I hope.

mars wrote:My ever-so-persistent presentation of facts is because those with authority on this forum refuse to face the facts, and hide behind the assertion that it is just "opinion".

Dear Mr. Mars

If

You don't like

The way this forum

is Run

or

The people

Who frequent

This Forum

Then....

Perhaps

This just isn't

The place

For YOU!!

Really

Ever consider that?

Really?

-SWS wrote:

mars wrote: If what I presented is just "opinion", then your scientific logic has seriously failed you.

Again, that assessment is your opinion.

What I honestly find illogical:
1) A poster who claims to wish Madalot the best repeatedly attempts to turn her thread into a very ugly battle, and
2) A poster with your track record of diatribes and rants taking it upon himself to clean house.

I'm done with this thread regardless of your persistent opinion Mars. No hard feelings between the two of us I hope.

Now you are right, that was my opinion.

Well, you are obviously not going to get on the wrong side of Muffy, no matter what he does. As an Elder Statesman of the Forum I would have hoped for better.

But everybody to their last. If you think what I have been posting are diatribes and rants, well, I won't argue with you. Why my ever-so-persistence deserves a condemnation from you, and Muffy's ever-so-persistent abuse does not, is something you might one day explain.

In the meantime - no hard feelings.

cheers

Mars