Depression & Adjustment

I am on antidepressants (AD for short) and have been for 16 years. For the most part, the AD helps me with my anxiety disorder, but I did have clinical depression when I started on AD. I still have a tendency to get depressive and anxy somewhat as no "cure" is perfect. Adjusting to this new cpap and oxygen has been a bit depressing for me. It takes so much time to just get ready to go to bed and if you wake up to potty, then there's the dealing with the oxygen tubing and cord not getting squeezed beneath the door as I go to bathroom and return. Getting the mask adjusted right so that there's little leakage is a challenge too. The worst is breathing the hot air back in that I am exhaling! I feel "gaggy"! Then when it's time to get up, unhook everything and put it back in place and go wash mask.
I realize that it is "worth it" to have good restorative sleep, but I can't tell anything yet (I know it's only been 4 nights so far of cpap usage).
Maybe someone here has had similar feelings or maybe I'm just a spoiled brat whining for nothing...I dunno.
It's all very new and for me, complicated. All these types of masks and machines and data readings and abbreviations, such as DME. Don't understand as much as I'd like.
Anyway, I'm feeling pretty bummed out. Forgive the pity party!
jl

You should be able to leave the mask on and just pop the hoses off for BR breaks`.

It's all an adjustment and just takes a little time to adapt and develope a routine.

Hang in there, It gets better! I knew in my PSG that I needed this...desperately...I decided I was going to make this work somehow regardless of the challenges that I expected would occur. That didn't stop my feeling overwhelmed after I adjusted to sleeping with an alien on my face, then, it was a challenge...the prospect of doing this for who knew how long. I cried for the loss of sleeping without CPAP a few times. Might investigate getting some hose quick connectors, they're supposed to make it easier to get unhooked and re-hooked. Our host has them for $4 + S&H.

jl

good for you! it sounds like you are already benefitting from the therapy, although you may not see it that way. many, if not most, have a difficult time getting to used to it. hey, i just got my first pair of bifocals and i had to take them off, i can;t get used to the split vision. but i know eventually, i'll have to put them back on.

i just recently started xpap myself, but have already been able to wean off the anti depressants that i had been taking for the last year and 1/2. you may be surprised to find how much better you feel in a month or two from now, maybe even longer since you depression and anxiety goes back a few years.

be patient and you'll find a routine that works for you. you're in the the right place here to get good advice, and hey - if you need to vent, we're here.

When I get up for potty breaks, I just slip the mask off over my head, and let the machine auto shut down. Then I come back, lay down, mask up, and the machine auto starts. You might try setting your machine to do this.

You might also try another mask. It took me 8 masks before I could find one that I could sleep with all night every night. You can find links to test drive other masks below in my signature block.

I've been on anti-depression meds most of my life. Started when I was in high school and I'm 44 now. I believe Sleep Apnea exacerbates my depression. When you are getting good therapy, you won't find the cpap mask or machine that cumbersome. You WILL get used to it. Hang in there.

Cheers,
Barbara

I understand what you're going through... I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder, and I've been on CPAP for almost 2 weeks now. I've been using 5-HTP for some time to manage the symptoms, but sometimes it's just not enough to handle the effects of these conditions.

I've begun to notice that I'm not quite as worried about things as I used to be and my spirits do feel a little higher. It can be frustrating dealing with the "ritual" of CPAP use and maintenance, but I've started just making it a part of my day like anything else I do on a daily basis.

I WILL be glad when my body starts realizing that things are going back to a proper balance. I have been dealing with some symptoms of anxiety a bit more than usual lately... namely shaky hands, feeling weak and pounding heart. I just have to keep holding onto the hope that all this will eventually pass.

Janet,

You may not believe it, but the bed time routine will get easier as you become accustomed to it.

I swore a blue streak on more nights than I want to think of, because I'd just get everything in place... and then remember I'd forgotten x, y, or z up front, and I had to take everything off, go get "it" and then come back and go through the masking up routine AGAIN.

(I learned to swear quietly, because my husband has to be up at four ye ghods thirty ay-em, and he needs HIS sleep, too!)

But as using the machine becomes something you are more familiar with, it becomes something you just DO. I admit, I still hate getting up to go pee, but I can do it now and be back asleep in a few minutes. WHen I first started, I couldn't imagine being able to do that.

No need to feel bad for expressing how difficult this is for you. While no one outright called me whiny in the early days of cpap, I felt like I was, but daggone, I felt like I was dying and I was pretty pitiful. It was in putting nearly every little thing out there that gave others clues to help me troubleshoot. My doctor at that time was not helpful, and in retrospect, one main complaint was so specific that there's no excuse for the doctor not identifying the issue, even if he had graduated at the bottom of his class.

I kept reporting that I was so exhausted I fell asleep the instant my head hit the pillow (or before) and that I'd wake up within a few short minutes gasping for breath. Although it was beyond my knowledge at the time, the doc should have known it was related to ramp. When one is in the ramp time, they are not receiving therapeutic pressure. To me, ramp should not extend much beyond the time needed to fall asleep. His advice was to hit the ramp again every time I woke up (multitudes of time a nite), so basically, his advice sentenced me to nearly full nights of nontherapeutic treatment. Also, he never suggested increasing the ramp pressure of 4, recognizing that many find it inadequate. My first couple days here I increased my ramp pressure and decreased the ramp time, and crossed a major hurdle in being able to move forward in my treatment.

I'm not saying your issue is ramp, just that you "spilling your guts" may in the end lead to some answers for you. Your remark about rebreathing warm air makes me question 2 things - is this because your pressure at that time (maybe during ramp) is too low to properly vent exhaled air? There is a minimum recommended pressure for each mask. Or is your humidifier setting too high for your comfort? Everyone is different, but I hate breathing warm air so I don't turn my humidifer up above 1.

Can't speak to getting undone for potty trips with your gear. Mine is minimalistic and takes seconds, but some nights I still grumble about it. Fortunately my potty trips have become rare. Maybe yours will decrease once your treatment levels off. Best wishes for quick progress.
Kathy

janetlee wrote:Anyway, I'm feeling pretty bummed out. jl

Ode to a newbie

wish I could tell you how easy it is.
I put on the mask, I hit the blue light,
I'm adrift in the night.

It did'nt come easy you know,
infact it was a fright.
The straps and that mask,
....and....damn those blue lights,

I screamed and swore,
and cried out in the night,
"Why me? Why me?"
This just isn't right.

Out of thin air, through the ethernet,
came a glimmer of hope, as I cried out my plight,
"..please, don't spook me, don't scare me,
I just want to sleep through the night."

My questions were answered,
my mind put at ease.
We're here to help you,
all you got'a do....
is believe.

So, I listened and learned.
I chin strapped and glued,
and sealed up the holes.
I had tender, scraped nares
and a bruised, bleeding nose.

Night after night, I begged for relief.
"Please, please...give me back my life!"
Then one morning, just after first light,
a release from the pain, the fatigue,
just ever so slight.

Now.....it's just that easy.
I put on the mask, I hit the blue light,
I have a new life.

carbonman wrote: ....and....damn those blue lights,

Oi... the blue lights. The friggin' blue lights. I finally gave up on wearing an eye mask (too warm and stuffy around my eyes) and just put the mask on everything lit up. I'm used to sleeping in pitch black, and even though it doesn't COMPLETELY get rid of the glow, it dampens it down enough to make it bearable.

I'm a resolute DIY'er (I made a 10 ft hose cover out of a body hug pillowcase) so I'm still looking for something that will blot it out completely while still giving the machine room to ventilate (I noticed it gets pretty warm around the button area.)

I am somewhat of a whiner too Janet. But this is a good place to do it. These guys are absolutely wonderful. I have been having trouble with a nasal mask and feeling like I am suffocating most of the time. Then can't sleep. Came home today with a new nasal pillow mask and I am hoping it will work. Take care.

Modistee

Cygnusia wrote:I understand what you're going through... I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder, and I've been on CPAP for almost 2 weeks now. I've been using 5-HTP for some time to manage the symptoms, but sometimes it's just not enough to handle the effects of these conditions.

I've begun to notice that I'm not quite as worried about things as I used to be and my spirits do feel a little higher. It can be frustrating dealing with the "ritual" of CPAP use and maintenance, but I've started just making it a part of my day like anything else I do on a daily basis.

I WILL be glad when my body starts realizing that things are going back to a proper balance. I have been dealing with some symptoms of anxiety a bit more than usual lately... namely shaky hands, feeling weak and pounding heart. I just have to keep holding onto the hope that all this will eventually pass.

I honestly feel for you! GAD is AWFUL! But let me recommend something that maybe you've never heard of (most folks haven't). I take Taurine everyday! I personally take 1000mg of it when I get up along with my meds. PLEASE do NOT shrug off this suggestion! I've tried many natural remedies to help me, but none helped much if at all. Then I read about Taurine, which is an amino acid and I bought some. I held off taking any for weeks because I just couldn't bring myself to try it as every other thing had failed. Somehow, just having it in there as a "possible help", was my crutch. Then one morning, I got up and was soooooooooooooo anxy that I was a mess! Mom said why didn't I go take some of that taurine I'd bought. I was afraid it wouldn't help and then all my "hopes" would be dashed...I know that's crazy reasoning, but maybe I was a bit crazy from anxiety! So I got up and took some taurine and came and sat back down. I couldn't believe it! In minutes I started feeling better! It was NOT a placebo effect because I didn't really believe in my heart that it was going to work, just like everything else I'd tried! Now that it has helped me so much, I've told lots of folks about it and those that have tried it are saying that they too use it now!
Read about it here: http://www.thewayup.com/newsletters/011500.htm
Thanks for replying since I know how hard it is to deal with anything when kicked in the head by GAD!
jl

Thanks to ALL of you for understanding! And thanx for the poem!
jl

janetlee wrote:I take Taurine everyday!

I will look into this! I'm not exactly big on taking pills (I can't swallow the blasted things) but if it will help soothe my often raw nerves, I'll give it a try. Thank you!

This is a new one for me - taurine is something that's crucial to cats for eye health and is therefore put in all good cat food, but I never heard of it being used for humans ! I wonder though if you shouldn't just do a bit more research and be sure it won't affect your eyes (such things can be so slow that we're not aware of them until it's late). I hope you are able to be more comfortable with all your problems.