Attn: whiners, complainers, quitters

CM - I remember that whack well -

MTH712 ---- hope this whack worked this year - last year it didn't phase you in the least.

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I never used 6 cm

I use 9 give or take ------ using 9.5 straight cpap these days on my old Pro 2 and I posted a few leaks lines on a thread of yours the other day

CM - I don't clearly remember what happened but glad I could help

I am not gonna go read all this - is the mentality I see & hear. So I'll just post that I want to quit and wait for everyone to comfort me.

If the majority wanted to learn as they say here - they would be reading instead of typing so much. I always told my kids you can't listen when you are talking.

Granted OSA makes it difficult to understand things clearly. We do not how much of a fog we are in until the therapy becomes effective. And understanding OSA is a very steep learning curve.

So if you truly want to learn, learn to search. Google is your friend.
Either use the Advanced search at the top of each page or use the syntax -
"my search term" site:cpaptalk.com in a Google window. Give it a try.

Or you can -
Start at the Yellow Lite bulb - Our Collective Wisdom found at the top of the page at http://www.cpaptalk.com

our-collective-cpap-wisdom.php
new-cpap-user.php

READ cpaptalk.com FAQ
cpaptalk-faq.php

For Acronyms & Definitions
http://www.sleepnet.com/definition.html

Understanding OSA "the movie" - worth your time
http://www.resmed.com/en-us/patients/ab ... 40x380.swf

so take a breath, put on your reading glasses and get comfy
there is NO wisdom pill
and one size does NOT fit ALL
remember Faces are like fingerprints

Good Luck,
GumbyCT who thinks - "If it is to be - it IS up to me"

elader wrote:. . . am I allowed to vote Carbonman off of the island?

If carbonman goes, I go.

For me, part of the beauty of this board, as opposed to some others, is that everyone pretty much allows everyone else to be who they are. And everyone has something different to contribute. It relieves me of stress just knowing that if I have something I need help with that is even remotely related to my PAP therapy, I can be confident that an individual poster or the synergistic power of the group will help me solve the problem if it is solvable.

When I post, I want at least one pat on the head, maybe one hug, several experiences, a little insight, perhaps a whack with a 2x4, but then one band-aid for the owie. Then I'm good.

So I voted for gentle compassion. But that's just because I can be a bit of a sissy-boy who just needs to suck it up, I guess.

carbonman wrote: .....and for "guest"

Maybe you could decide who you are.
Maybe you should be more thick-skinned.
....and when you make those decisions, register here....
and engage me..or...someone you trust...or....the entire forum.
I'm going to go out on a limb and predict, you won't regret it.

No, thanks...I think two posts are plenty...I'm gonna get off the forum while I'm ahead.

Guest wrote:...I'm gonna get off the forum while I'm ahead.

Guest will be back. Maybe only lurking. But back.

jnk wrote:

Guest wrote:...I'm gonna get off the forum while I'm ahead.

Guest will be back. Maybe only lurking. But back.

Okay, one more...I never promised not to lurk! I gotta figure this out some way!

Guest wrote:

jnk wrote:

Guest wrote:...I'm gonna get off the forum while I'm ahead.

Guest will be back. Maybe only lurking. But back.

Okay, one more...I never promised not to lurk! I gotta figure this out some way!

Lurk away, then.

In all honesty, I started reading this forum about four months or so before I ever posted my first post. And, that would have been a couple of months before I got my equipment and started my therapy. And, I didn't actually "join" the forum for almost two months after I started my therapy. I found this site by the link on the front page of CPAP.COM when I was researching and learning about what equipment I may need to treat this condition.

Since we're all different, we all have different things we have to deal with in getting our therapy under way.

I hope you get yours figured out.

Den

I lurk here hoping to get answers from other questions that are asked (and I have). Why haven't I joined and asked my own questions? The title of this post is the answer. I don't respond well to tough love,

Since evidently your not registered, just ask your questions as a guest. If you get tough love, don't read those responses if you dont want to, hopefully you'll see some tough love AND some sympathetic reponses. If you need help with your therapy/condition, it'd be better to get answers, even if they are tough, rather than not. Its YOUR health and life. Who knows, maybe the answer to your question will help a few of us.
I stumbled upon this forum looking for a better mask at cpap.com, and have since read a lot, and feel tons better that I'm not alone in how I feel and that others are or have gone through the same thing as I am, because my DME (everyones FAVORITE person) was making me feel like it was my fault that I was having issues, like it works for everyone else immediately and I am the oddball.

When I have questions, I will ask, if I get a sympathetic ear, great, if I get tough love, I'll take that too. Its MY health and MY life, and I came here to make both better.

Wulfman wrote:Since we're all different, we all have different things we have to deal with in getting our therapy under way.

I hope you get yours figured out.

Yeah... What Den said! plus...


Now shut up and get back on the hose!!!


Seriously, there are all kinds of people coming to this message board with all manners of style and every problem conceivable. If we are to be nothing more than a good ol' boy's social club, then let's simply chase anyone away who doesn't suit the agenda or style of our social network. If, on the other hand, we want to help others---because we realize just how important even a stranger's helping hand can be---then we also know how important it is to somehow collectively find a variety of ways to accommodate a variety of both personal styles and problems. I think that means compassion and understanding will be a key ingredient to how we help others, but that a little tough love needs to be thrown in every now and then. The bridge to CPAP is, for so many, the bridge to life!





Now everybody shut up and get back on the hose!! And have a goodnight!

dsm wrote:Must admit that when I see posts that are clearly angry or critical of cpap masks/machines as to why a poster wants to quit, I feel here is an attitude problem that we can't always fix. Only the poster can fix it. I mentally add such people to the likely quitter category.

I have to agree with you on this one DSM and I can only relate it to my experience. It's like my mother's death you have to go through all the stages to get to the result. And if your tough enough mentally to get through it you will succeed! But if you do not take any ounce of the advice that's given and stick to your guns you will get nowhere. I came on here and my first post was full of being scared about the whole process. Then it quickly turned to frustration over the multitude of masks and machines to chose from and how I was going to afford it with minimal income, leak issues, mouth breathing... Reading all of it overwhelmed me. Then it turned to anger as I am fighting with the DME and insurance. Now I feel powerful and very ready to start my therapy because I am exploring other options such as Awake in America and cpapauction. It takes alot of very nice people on here to help us through and also alot of research on your own to get it done. But it CAN be done!

Interesting thread - viewtopic/t35705/Hi-Im-new-and-want-to-give-up.html



DSM

Not everyone who comes here whining is a whiner
Not everyone who comes here complaining is a complainer
Not everyone who tells us they're planning to quit is a quitter.

Some people come here frightened and confused. Terrified at the thought of having to spend the rest of their sleeping life connected to a machine.

Some people come here wanting to quit because they're suddenly far lonelier than they ever were - struggling at night with something weird on their face - and they feel nobody understands them.

Some people come here because they are ambivalent - and telling us how bad they feel, so bad that they're about to quit, is their way of asking for help of every kind:
Nut and bolts help, information help, compassion, and a reminder of what the reality of this condition is: how much harm it can cause in the long run, and yet how benign the therapy can be when it's figured out.

And all of them come here sleep deprived, suffering the effects of untreated sleep apnea - far from being at their best.

Which is why I think the title of this thread may turn many struggling people off, and I would respectfully ask you, carbonman, to change it into something like:
What do you want when you whine and complain?

Like, Kathy I have learned to back off from threads where it turns out the person does not really want the various kinds of help we have to offer. And we're pretty good, as a community, in offering all of the choices carbonman described. The majority of people need a mixture of all of them - as jnk put it so succinctly:

When I post, I want at least one pat on the head, maybe one hug, several experiences, a little insight, perhaps a whack with a 2x4, but then one band-aid for the owie. Then I'm good.

Some people are more resilient than others. Not everyone comes back from the gates of hell unscathed. Actually, some never come back, because they never found someone to accompany them - whether it is on the way through or on the way back. Not everyone has the lung capacity to breathe out against a pressure of 15. But everyone, everyone should have the right to get all the help, and all the kinds of help they need when they come here. The minority who turns out not to want help can be dropped. No need to drive them away - they'll get bored soon enough. Its the others, those who are less resilient, those who are lonely, sad, incapacitated by sleep apnea, those who were never too good at getting their trouble understood, those whose ability to communicate in writing is far from excellent, those lurking in the background, that I'm worried about when I read the title of this topic.

I didn't vote.
O.

Interesting poll.

In the very beginning, I was most interested in hearing success stories of those are treating their OSA (and ideally, with symptoms and issues similar to mine.)

I don't usually pay attention to whiners or complainers, if someone is just venting about their DME, fine but I won't read their post very far. Sometimes I'll write that my DME (or doc, or health plan) is fine, just to try to nudge posters into a little optimism.

If someone appears to be depressed, afraid, under-informed, or is quitting because of issues beyond their control, then most folks here (with me included) are impressively compassionate, and don't consider it whining. I've read some lengthy and reasoned posts here from veterans who are willing to take quite a bit of time with folks who, for whatever reason, don't have the best information for the most prudent therapy path in front of them. And, when good advice is posted for worried people who sincerely need some help, it gets read by many, many others with similar issues.)

I know a woman who was simply desperate for some compassion during the resolution of her health issues. She felt just plain horrible, and with a little help from moi, she got a sleep study and a Rx for a machine. Her depression and mental fog issues resolved, and she was truly grateful for a bit of compassionate understanding during her search for a cause and treatment of her health problems. Then, to give the other side, I recall sitting in the Apria lounge, waiting for a new hose (mine had broken glass in it, another story however). I had to listen to this woman, who by no outwardly appearance took any care of herself whatsoever, whine and complain that Apria wouldn't give her several extra oxygen tanks to take on vacation. She clearly was not interested in taking any responsibility for her own health, but loved being the complaining "victim".

Many folks, sometimes with palpable fear in their words, will post with a symptom, asking if it could be related to OSA. To me, these are among the most interesting and important posts on this or any relative forum. In fact, I went so far as to compile a list of potential symptoms related to OSA. (It's in need of updating, and you can read it here at http://www.apneasupport.org/viewtopic.p ... of&start=0 ). These people are worried and come to forums like this with hat-in-hand, and in my experience, they are always treated well, and given good advice.

As far as quitters, I think that there are two general types: First, there are those patients who would love to be able to wear the contraption, but claustrophobia, aerophagia, or other issues of general discomfort stand in their way. This is one of the weakest areas of our xPAP therapy, the initial accoustomization. I would love to see much additional research in dealing with initial acceptance problems. Then, there are those who are just too lazy, or unreliable in regard to their own health. I would like it if they would make their xPAP machines available to patients who want them, but can't afford them.

When patients just like us get to the point of need for xPAP therapy, they can be frightened, they can have anger issues, they can be worried whether their particular symptoms might result from OSA, and they can be worried about how they will be treated on line by asking questions the best way they know how. These people need a kind and re-assuring word. Then, of course, there are folks who enjoy commiserating about trivial matters. Ideally, they put the word "rant" in quotes to save me the trouble of scanning the thread. These people should read some quotes from Winston Churchill.

Finally, when patients progress to the point in their therapy at which they feel better, do more, think more deeply, multitask, and take better health maintenance measures, then this might be a time for a well-padded verbal 2x4 (for some, not all) to prod them toward taking even more control and better care.

Regards all- - Tom


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