Curlers with CPAP

So everybody would be happy if she had said she wants to wear curlers with her mask? Something tells me that the assumptions and judgments would still be flying.

xxyzx wrote:

kteague wrote:Why can't people reply with any helpful tips without all the freaking judgement?! The OP clearly was NOT trying to get out of using CPAP, they were looking for ways to accomplish the goals of rolling their hair AND using CPAP.

some problems have no solution
some solutions do not solve a problem
some problems have no good solution
the real choice is hair curlers or sleep well
there is no answer to achieve both

You are wrong. If one could sleep well in curlers before CPAP, there is no reason they can't find a way to do so afterward, even if that means using a headgear-free style mask. "The real choice" is to not interject when the answer is not in your wheelhouse.

She got a couple of suggestions. One is to put the curlers in after putting on her mask. She can also use soft curlers. So it's not "impossible." I like how you (xxyzx) demand precision in word choice ("need" vs "want") but then you are free to incorrectly use the word, "impossible." It's not impossible.

People have the right to feel something is necessary that others feel are not. I have a family member who, if something is important to him, everybody needs to think it's important. But if YOU think something is important and he does not, you're an idiot and wasting time on something stupid. I could tell you horror stories about how judgmental this person is and how many times I've been criticized because I felt I needed something that he thought was stupid.

Some people, whether we agree or not, care a lot about their appearance. And maybe the OP feels that way OR has an unusual hair issue that we can't imagine. It's not our place to tell them they're wrong. And as a previous poster said, the situation is not impossible, as was also stated. There ARE options out there that might work. And they should be able to ask the question and get input. That's what this forum is supposed to be about.

I don't understand why there's so much judgment going on these days.

AMK wrote:She got a couple of suggestions. One is to put the curlers in after putting on her mask. She can also use soft curlers. So it's not "impossible." I like how you (xxyzx) demand precision in word choice ("need" vs "want") but then you are free to incorrectly use the word, "impossible." It's not impossible.

Triple X "thinks" he knows everything... somehow I have never come across a GUY (or is HE) who knew so much about curling hair, I always thought that was a girl thing Actually I thought that curlers were a thing of the past since irons and blow dryers were in.............guess I don't know everything either

The funny thing is everyone is talking about hair like all hair is the same as well as all situations. We don't know anything about her hair type or needs, or any other possible influences on her desire to adhere to a routine of using rollers overnight instead curling irons, etc. Maybe she has a house full of people to get out the door in the morning, and doing her hair then is too time consuming. Or maybe she's caring for an aged parent who must be changed and fed before leaving, and that's priority. Maybe her hair can't tolerate heat without breaking off. Maybe she's not caucasian and a short cut for her texture of hair could be even more maintenance. Or a perm for her hair could mean her hair is straightened and then would still need curled. Or maybe she was born with an ear that protrudes and curled hair conceals it a bit and she feels more comfortable. Or maybe none of those things apply to her. My point is no one who comes here should have to explain or defend their benign personal choices, and our first knee jerk response should not be finger wagging. Sadly, as I think back over my years here, I am challenged that I have at times been unnecessarily judgemental. I for one commit to trying to be more aware of that tendency.

Chunkyfrog, you have a life experience that none of us wish to have. Facing illness certainly changes our perspective and those insights can be a good healthy reality check for others who aren't living that experience. I think it's human nature that most of us can't fully relate unless/until it becomes our experience. And it's ok if it (in this case hair) still has some importance to them. It's not a character flaw. Yet your words may help them ease up on themselves as they assess this curlers and cpap situation.

kteague wrote:The funny thing is everyone is talking about hair like all hair is the same as well as all situations. We don't know anything about her hair type or needs, or any other possible influences on her desire to adhere to a routine of using rollers overnight instead curling irons, etc. Maybe she has a house full of people to get out the door in the morning, and doing her hair then is too time consuming. Or maybe she's caring for an aged parent who must be changed and fed before leaving, and that's priority. Maybe her hair can't tolerate heat without breaking off. Maybe she's not caucasian and a short cut for her texture of hair could be even more maintenance. Or a perm for her hair could mean her hair is straightened and then would still need curled. Or maybe she was born with an ear that protrudes and curled hair conceals it a bit and she feels more comfortable. Or maybe none of those things apply to her. My point is no one who comes here should have to explain or defend their benign personal choices, and our first knee jerk response should not be finger wagging. Sadly, as I think back over my years here, I am challenged that I have at times been unnecessarily judgemental. I for one commit to trying to be more aware of that tendency.

Chunkyfrog, you have a life experience that none of us wish to have. Facing illness certainly changes our perspective and those insights can be a good healthy reality check for others who aren't living that experience. I think it's human nature that most of us can't fully relate unless/until it becomes our experience. And it's ok if it (in this case hair) still has some importance to them. It's not a character flaw. Yet your words may help them ease up on themselves as they assess this curlers and cpap situation.

+1 on EVERYTHING you said.

kteague wrote:The funny thing is everyone is talking about hair like all hair is the same as well as all situations. We don't know anything about her hair type or needs, or any other possible influences on her desire to adhere to a routine of using rollers overnight instead curling irons, etc. Maybe she has a house full of people to get out the door in the morning, and doing her hair then is too time consuming. Or maybe she's caring for an aged parent who must be changed and fed before leaving, and that's priority. Maybe her hair can't tolerate heat without breaking off. Maybe she's not caucasian and a short cut for her texture of hair could be even more maintenance. Or a perm for her hair could mean her hair is straightened and then would still need curled. Or maybe she was born with an ear that protrudes and curled hair conceals it a bit and she feels more comfortable. Or maybe none of those things apply to her. My point is no one who comes here should have to explain or defend their benign personal choices, and our first knee jerk response should not be finger wagging. Sadly, as I think back over my years here, I am challenged that I have at times been unnecessarily judgemental. I for one commit to trying to be more aware of that tendency.

Chunkyfrog, you have a life experience that none of us wish to have. Facing illness certainly changes our perspective and those insights can be a good healthy reality check for others who aren't living that experience. I think it's human nature that most of us can't fully relate unless/until it becomes our experience. And it's ok if it (in this case hair) still has some importance to them. It's not a character flaw. Yet your words may help them ease up on themselves as they assess this curlers and cpap situation.

+2 Seems like empathy and understanding outside of peoples tiny box of experience is sorely lacking.

TASmart wrote:

kteague wrote:The funny thing is everyone is talking about hair like all hair is the same as well as all situations. We don't know anything about her hair type or needs, or any other possible influences on her desire to adhere to a routine of using rollers overnight instead curling irons, etc. Maybe she has a house full of people to get out the door in the morning, and doing her hair then is too time consuming. Or maybe she's caring for an aged parent who must be changed and fed before leaving, and that's priority. Maybe her hair can't tolerate heat without breaking off. Maybe she's not caucasian and a short cut for her texture of hair could be even more maintenance. Or a perm for her hair could mean her hair is straightened and then would still need curled. Or maybe she was born with an ear that protrudes and curled hair conceals it a bit and she feels more comfortable. Or maybe none of those things apply to her. My point is no one who comes here should have to explain or defend their benign personal choices, and our first knee jerk response should not be finger wagging. Sadly, as I think back over my years here, I am challenged that I have at times been unnecessarily judgemental. I for one commit to trying to be more aware of that tendency.

Chunkyfrog, you have a life experience that none of us wish to have. Facing illness certainly changes our perspective and those insights can be a good healthy reality check for others who aren't living that experience. I think it's human nature that most of us can't fully relate unless/until it becomes our experience. And it's ok if it (in this case hair) still has some importance to them. It's not a character flaw. Yet your words may help them ease up on themselves as they assess this curlers and cpap situation.

+2 Seems like empathy and understanding outside of peoples tiny box of experience is sorely lacking.

+3 - Empathy and understanding 'should' be a part of every thread.

Lucyhere wrote:

TASmart wrote:

kteague wrote:The funny thing is everyone is talking about hair like all hair is the same as well as all situations. We don't know anything about her hair type or needs, or any other possible influences on her desire to adhere to a routine of using rollers overnight instead curling irons, etc. Maybe she has a house full of people to get out the door in the morning, and doing her hair then is too time consuming. Or maybe she's caring for an aged parent who must be changed and fed before leaving, and that's priority. Maybe her hair can't tolerate heat without breaking off. Maybe she's not caucasian and a short cut for her texture of hair could be even more maintenance. Or a perm for her hair could mean her hair is straightened and then would still need curled. Or maybe she was born with an ear that protrudes and curled hair conceals it a bit and she feels more comfortable. Or maybe none of those things apply to her. My point is no one who comes here should have to explain or defend their benign personal choices, and our first knee jerk response should not be finger wagging. Sadly, as I think back over my years here, I am challenged that I have at times been unnecessarily judgemental. I for one commit to trying to be more aware of that tendency.

Chunkyfrog, you have a life experience that none of us wish to have. Facing illness certainly changes our perspective and those insights can be a good healthy reality check for others who aren't living that experience. I think it's human nature that most of us can't fully relate unless/until it becomes our experience. And it's ok if it (in this case hair) still has some importance to them. It's not a character flaw. Yet your words may help them ease up on themselves as they assess this curlers and cpap situation.

+2 Seems like empathy and understanding outside of peoples tiny box of experience is sorely lacking.

+3 - Empathy and understanding 'should' be a part of every thread.

Agreed. I think all of us should stop and remind ourselves of this. There's way too much nastiness going on here. Way, way too much.

kteague wrote: Chunkyfrog, you have a life experience that none of us wish to have. Facing illness certainly changes our perspective and those insights can be a good healthy reality check for others who aren't living that experience. I think it's human nature that most of us can't fully relate unless/until it becomes our experience. And it's ok if it (in this case hair) still has some importance to them. It's not a character flaw. Yet your words may help them ease up on themselves as they assess this curlers and cpap situation.

I think that using a disease to try to give reality checks to strangers on the internet is an approach to use with great caution if at all. If anything, I go the opposite direction, because if someone is worried about her hair and I start dropping the C bomb to teach her a lesson in priorities then I am invalidating her and shutting the conversation down. The key here would seem to be to not take things personally. If a woman asks about curlers, it has nothing to do with me personally. I either have an idea of how to mix curlers and a mask or I don't. It's simple!

nicholasjh1 wrote:I agree, someone said something about the white elephant in the room... It doesn't have to been seen with judgement... sometimes people just don't think of the obvious! Sure CF didn't have to say "vanity", but It's a good idea to think about. and sometimes a good old punch in the guts is what someone needs to get rattled out of their old way of thinking.

You NEVER know what journey someone else is on. I don't think it is necessary to give a <verbal> "good old punch in the guts" to get them "rattled out of their old way of thinking." You do not know the circumstances or backstory of the person who posted. Not everyone feels like laying out their life story to ask a simple question.

She has never commented on this thread again. That is very unfortunate.

nicholasjh1 wrote:I agree, someone said something about the white elephant in the room... It doesn't have to been seen with judgement... sometimes people just don't think of the obvious! Sure CF didn't have to say "vanity", but It's a good idea to think about. and sometimes a good old punch in the guts is what someone needs to get rattled out of their old way of thinking.

So you believe qualified to discern whether someone needs a "good old punch in the guts" knowing nothing about them except a couple posts on the internet? Quite the inflated self-confidence.

AMK wrote:I think that using a disease to try to give reality checks to strangers on the internet is an approach to use with great caution if at all. If anything, I go the opposite direction, because if someone is worried about her hair and I start dropping the C bomb to teach her a lesson in priorities then I am invalidating her and shutting the conversation down. The key here would seem to be to not take things personally. If a woman asks about curlers, it has nothing to do with me personally. I either have an idea of how to mix curlers and a mask or I don't. It's simple!

All any of us here can offer is our experience, knowledge or insights. I personally WANT to be challenged by persons whose insights are outside my sphere of exposure. I want to learn. I want to understand to the best of my capability in the absence of experience. I don't condone mixing that with berating the one who may not be in the same head space. To me, a statement of one's personal experience is impactful, but its impact can be diminished by delivery.

kteague wrote: All any of us here can offer is our experience, knowledge or insights. I personally WANT to be challenged by persons whose insights are outside my sphere of exposure. I want to learn. I want to understand to the best of my capability in the absence of experience. I don't condone mixing that with berating the one who may not be in the same head space. To me, a statement of one's personal experience is impactful, but its impact can be diminished by delivery.

What I find interesting is that not a single one of the OP's challengers have any interest in her own story. I didn't see one person ask her about herself and why she feels curlers are necessary. It seems to be more fun to make assumptions and climb on soapboxes. Your own posts were helpful and supportive in this thread and I was grateful to see them. You defended her. This board needs more of that. There's a reason that a place like this is called a support board. You made this thread supportive.