OT: Time out and/or Duke it out thread

[grayghost4]

Guest
Also Posted As:
(Ruinednose)


Re: Travel (Portable) CPAP

Postby Guest on Thu Nov 03, 2016 9:33 pm
Two stellar references there eh? I would do a google on those names.


to bad we can't go a google on Guest ... Guesty.... and all the other names hshit is using

Nothing malicious it's just my opinion. You did say we are each entitled to an opinion right?
And could respond when we are poked, right?
And the Goodmans make the rules here, right?

And my opinion is that people who are selling should not go around needlessly insulting people just cuz they don't know who they are - they might be a customer, future, past, or present.

I would PM you my name and address so you could google it .... But I can't pm to an unregistered "Guest"

[Guest]

I would PM you my name and address so you could google it .... But I can't pm to an unregistered "Guest"

Simple, Then post your ebay username that is unless you want to remain anonymous for some reason.

[palerider]

I would PM you my name and address so you could google it .... But I can't pm to an unregistered "Guest"

Simple, Then post your ebay username that is unless you want to remain anonymous for some reason.

why should he post anything to satisfy a Pest?

[palerider]

Pap-Daddy
Also Posted As:
(Ruinednose)

Guest
Also Posted As:
(Ruinednose)

Guesty
Also Posted As:
(Ruinednose)

Guest
Also Posted As:
(Ruinednose)

somebody can't make up their mind... assuming they have one.

ought to just post as "Pest".

[Stormynights]

I have never been picked on here. I almost feel left out. (Not really, I was just joking about feeling left out. I don't really want to be picked on.) Seriously everyone has been nice to me.

[palerider]

I have never been picked on here. I almost feel left out. (Not really, I was just joking about feeling left out. I don't really want to be picked on.) Seriously everyone has been nice to me.

I'm afraid to pick on you, with you throwing those lightning bolts around and all!!!!

*cowers under the bed*

[Stormynights]

At least now I know. I understand that you would not want that halo scorched. You better watch it now because I know how to keep you in line.

[Goofproof]

I have never been picked on here. I almost feel left out. (Not really, I was just joking about feeling left out. I don't really want to be picked on.) Seriously everyone has been nice to me.

I'm afraid to pick on you, with you throwing those lightning bolts around and all!!!!

*cowers under the bed*

Ring toss with lightning bolts, reminds me of the Coneheads playing ring toss. Jim

[palerider]

At least now I know. I understand that you would not want that halo scorched. You better watch it now because I know how to keep you in line.

yes Ma'am!

[Lucyhere]

Robysue and/or Pugsy...

Why isn't it okay for someone to post as Guest, Guest3, Guest*, Guest10, anonymous, etc. I understand that when someone registers, adds machine name, mask, pressure needs, etc., it possibly makes it easier to talk about cpap related stuff. But, if someone doesn't choose to register, I don't get why that's such a problem. Lots of us use funny/strange names. What's the difference? Apparently the Goodmans must think it's okay or it wouldn't be allowed.

Does Guest immediately suggest a person who is here with malicious intent? Do you know if there has ever been a 'Guest' who needed some questions answered and asked/replied in a civil manner?

[wm_hess]

Why isn't it okay for someone to post as Guest, Guest3, Guest*, Guest10, anonymous, etc. I understand that when someone registers, adds machine name, mask, pressure needs, etc., it possibly makes it easier to talk about cpap related stuff. But, if someone doesn't choose to register, I don't get why that's such a problem. Lots of us use funny/strange names. What's the difference? Apparently the Goodmans must think it's okay or it wouldn't be allowed.

If I were to click on your name, I could either add you as a friend or foe. I'm not sure what 'benefits' a friend has, but a foe's posts would not be shown to me. It would tell me you had posted, but wouldn't show what you posted. It would give me an opportunity to view your post if I wanted to but would help with the blood pressure by not automatically showing me someone's posting that I didn't want to see.

Guest, on the other hand can't be ignored or foe'd. Even if I wanted to ignore them, I can't.

-Bill

[SleepyEyes21]

Hi Robysue, let me start by pointing out how difficult it often is to communicate with others in online platforms, especially in large groups of diverse individuals. As a college professor, I'm sure you are aware of this yet others may not be or may not have stopped to think about this. Way too frequently in this forum, members jump to assumptions and instead of trying to clarify with the OP, they start accusing and/ or blaming and/ or bullying, etc. Assumptions and misinterpretations about perceived 'tones' or 'attitudes' in posts can also lead to more negativity and the cycle continues... most of us have seen it all here.

With that being said, my answers are below and are being given with good intent:

(Pugsy wrote) Now on a rare occasions Avi has opened himself up to personal attacks by his own personal attacks...then that changes the dynamics and people will respond when poked.

And now this isn't considered bullying, Pugsy? Or should I say, bullying back? Ever heard of the term cyber-bullying?

(Robysue said) There is nothing "bullying" about accurately describing what happens when Avi (or anybody else) resorts to personally attacking another member of the forum.

I agree with your statement about 'accurately describing (behavior)' not being a form of bullying, however 'describing (someone's) behavior' is not what I was referring to as the "bullying/ or bullying someone back." I read Pugsy's first statement in totality and to me it sounds like she is essentially saying that she believes because (the member) 'opened themselves up to personal attacks by his own personal attacks, then that changes things and people will respond in kind.' The reason this kind of statement from Pugsy bothers me is because - like it or not- you and Pugsy are the two people whose points of view are most highly valued in this forum by a majority of the members, from what I can tell. Both of you are very helpful to newcomers, as well as longtimers and the rest of us. Your posts are usually very detailed, thoughtful, and eloquent and written with a lot of care; people 'get' that both of you are here to help them and to support them.
So, again- a lot of people here follow what each of you say is right or not right to do in the forum, in particular. If they feel they are getting mixed messages from either of you like I and others have been pointing out in the last several days, then is that where you want to be as essentially a leader of the forum? Before anyone gets upset!! I KNOW Carolyn and Johnny ARE the ones in charge here (please do not keep assuming and posting that I "don't get it') Yes- it's the Goodman's forum. But the day to day reality is that many of us look to Pugsy and Robysue for guidance, answers, and general rule. It is quite an influential position to be in, and a gift that allows you to continue doing great good for others. You are role models for many.

(Robysue said)
If you choose to personally attack (or bully) people, some of those people are going to be happy to get right down in the gutter with you and start slinging the mud right back. And after a certain point, it doesn't really matter who started it or who kept it going by responding to a personal attack with another personal attack.

I agree.

(Pugsy wrote) If someone disagrees with his opinion or thoughts...politely come in and state their own opinion and leave it like that.
Attack the message...not the messenger.

But this contradicts what you just said about personal attacks. So which approach do you recommend we go with?

(Robysue said) Re-read what Pugsy said: She did NOT advocate responding to Poster X personally attacking you by writing a personal attack on Poster X. She said that it happens and that it's understandable that it happens.

I do understand that Pugsy did 'not advocate responding to Poster X by personally attacking Poster X back.' I do understand that Pugsy implied that 'personally attacking back does happen.' Yes- I agree it is understandable as we are all human, yet we ALWAYS have a CHOICE, as you pointed out below. We don't have to react in negativity and with personal attacks, even if the OP resorted to personal attacks, imo. Just because someone starts treating you disrespectfully does not mean you still can't choose how to respond. No one can FORCE you to respond in a certain way; it is always YOUR CHOICE.

(Robysue said) In my opinion what Pugsy has been saying all along is this:

1) If you disagree with the substance of what Poster X says, write a post that expresses your opinion and explain why you think Poster X is wrong, but do it in polite language and do NOT personally attack (bully) Poster X about being wrong.

I agree.

(Robysue said) 2) If Poster X responds by personally attacking (bullying) you, then you have a choice: Just ignore Poster X's attacks and attempts to bully you (which can be hard to do) OR if you feel like you just have to say something to Poster X that is NOT on the topic of the helping thread, move your response HERE so that if Poster X thinks you are attacking him/her, the flame war takes over THIS thread instead of the helping thread.

I agree, and stated my understanding and agreement in a previous post in this thread.

(Robysue said) It takes two people to start a flame war. And sometimes the best way to handle cyberbullying is to just ignore it. The forum members are mostly grown up enough to figure out that if Poster X is continually posting personal attacks against others every time someone politely disagrees with the substance of Poster X's posts, then Poster X is the one with the problem.

I agree it takes 'two (or more) people to start a flame war;' however, the individuals aren't always just the one bully and the one victim. I can agree that 'sometimes the best way to handle cyberbullying is to just ignore it.' However, that is not the only effective way to handle all cyberbullying and it is not the only way that works for different types of cyberbullies.

I strongly suspect that there are quite a few members who are irritated with me because I don't follow the forum 'norm' of "ignore the bullies." I've been a member for a little over two years, and although there are no written rules by Members (other than Johnny's rules, of course), there are 'unspoken, inherent' group norms that most active members are strongly encouraged to follow. Group norming is a common behavior for all types of groups of people; Google it. Contrary to popular belief, I do not respond to the bullies 'just to cause trouble' or 'to point them out to others' (which seems to be a favorite theme.) If you can't read my mind, then you don't understand my thoughts; therefore you don't know my reasons for responding to the bullies. You can assume, but you know what they say...

I'm not going to apologize for not meeting this particular forum norm. I have watched the bullying for over two years, and it has gotten worse and worse. In my opinion, ignoring hasn't done much to keep it at bay. I am an assertive person, so will usually try to clear up misunderstandings by posting. I am different from a lot of you all, I am sure.. but that's okay. We all have differences; we're not meant to be the same people. I can live with that.

Robysue, I will finish responding to the rest of your reply later today.

[99]

Guest, on the other hand can't be ignored or foe'd. Even if I wanted to ignore them, I can't.

Certainly the must be a place you can go where their rules will protect you from such a stressful life?
Like Pugsy said:

Remember Johnny gets to decide...not any of you.

[Pugsy]

Why isn't it okay for someone to post as Guest, Guest3, Guest*, Guest10, anonymous, etc. I understand that when someone registers, adds machine name, mask, pressure needs, etc., it possibly makes it easier to talk about cpap related stuff. But, if someone doesn't choose to register, I don't get why that's such a problem. Lots of us use funny/strange names. What's the difference? Apparently the Goodmans must think it's okay or it wouldn't be allowed.

Does Guest immediately suggest a person who is here with malicious intent? Do you know if there has ever been a 'Guest' who needed some questions answered and asked/replied in a civil manner?

I actually have no problem with someone using "guest" to post...and yes, I have responded to a legitimate "guest" question/problem in a polite civil tone and stuck to the facts and simply answered the question.
The problem with using "guest" "whatever" is that in the past there have been people who aren't really here needing or wanting to help. They just want to be jerks and start crap. Why do they enjoy doing that? Beats the hell out of me.

Since we don't have any way to separate any "guest" comments unfortunately someone who ends up just using "guest" has to carry the baggage that the previous "guest" who has been a jerk has left here. They decide to pick and use a name that has been associated with bad behavior in the past...and it comes with baggage. Either accept that it comes with baggage or get your own personal name...is my thought on that.

Used to we could tell with a fair amount of certainty that the "name in parentheses" under guest/or whatever non logged in id we see...was the prior past person but we can't do that now due to the way the forum software is flagging IP addresses. It may or may not be accurate now. A couple a weeks ago I saw a guest post with a long list of real screen IDs in parentheses...and Pugsy was included in that list. I know for a fact I never posted what was said...so I know the forum software messes up.

So do I wish that people would log in to avoid the errors that come with people don't log in or use a permanent screen name? Sure I do but Johnny has repeatedly explained his reasons for not requiring a person to be a member to post...and while I kinda wish it wasn't that way if truth be told...it's his sand box and I will play by his rules as best I can... and not complain because it doesn't do any good anyway.

Not all "guest" posts have been crap posts just to stir up trouble...some have been quite helpful and some are cries for help that get nice polite civil responses. It's just like anything though....the bad gets the bad press and stands out like a sore thumb and gets remembered. It's human nature...maybe not one of the prettiest aspects of human nature but it is what it is and we aren't going to change it no matter how much we might want to or think it should be changed.

My sole goal for this thread...not to dictate my own personal guidelines to anyone about whose a bully or not or how to respond to one or not...is to try to prevent the blatant flame wars that totally burn up a helping thread.
Will it prevent someone doing some poking...probably not...will it prevent someone from poking back when poked...probably not. There are ways to respond to poking that don't involve personal attacks of the magnitude that start a flame war. I just hope that we can prevent the thread from being a casualty in the following flame war and at the same time let it be known to the OP in the thread that we don't condone ugly behavior.
There's going to be wars between personalities here...guests or logged in members or not logged in.
I have no illusions about that fact...all I ask is that you don't destroy a helping thread in the process.
I don't see what is so difficult about that. If someone is being a jerk...here's a news flash...it doesn't take multiple posts from different people pointing out the fact that so and so is being a jerk....one is more than sufficient.

If you (you collectively as the forum and not directed solely to you Lucy) get poked and feel the need to respond...there are ways of defending yourself without taking the entire thread into the toilet with you.
There are ways of responding to someone being a jerk ...without taking the thread into a flame war and thus the thread becomes a casualty of the war.

[Madalot]

If you (you collectively as the forum and not directed solely to you Lucy) get poked and feel the need to respond...there are ways of defending yourself without taking the entire thread into the toilet with you.
There are ways of responding to someone being a jerk ...without taking the thread into a flame war and thus the thread becomes a casualty of the war.

After weeding through 28 pages of posts, these two sentences stand out as the most significant and true. If people read nothing else, these two lines are the ones that should be read and heeded.

Some people will ponder these sentences, but a lot will disregard them. But I'm so glad Pugsy said them!