dating....do i bother?

Offerocker · Post by **Offerocker** » Sun Jul 02, 2006 6:03 pm

bostonlass wrote:I'm kind of depressed....if I were married that would be one thing...my husband would just have to deal with sleeping with a woman with a mask on but how on earth can I expect anyone new to accept this part of me?

(2nd post) Having re-read your post, I feel the need to point out that being married is no guarantee to a spouse "dealing with (it)"...some marriages are broken by lesser issues. It all boils down to character.

WillCunningham · Post by **WillCunningham** » Sun Jul 02, 2006 7:22 pm

if you were not a cpap user, would you reject a guy because of the mask?

This rang particularly true to me. That general sentiment can be applied to many aspects of dating. It has helped me feel more comfortable and confident on many occasions.

Offerocker · Post by **Offerocker** » Sun Jul 02, 2006 7:26 pm

if you were not a cpap user, would you reject a guy because of the mask?

This rang particularly true to me. That general sentiment can be applied to many aspects of dating. It has helped me feel more comfortable and confident on many occasions.[/quote]

Don't/(didn't) we all wear a "mask" of sorts anyway when we were dating?
Luckily, most of us are "older and wiser" now, and smarter in our choices, or criteria.

birdshell · Post by **birdshell** » Sun Jul 02, 2006 7:32 pm

Excellent point!

dllfo · Post by **dllfo** » Sun Jul 02, 2006 8:49 pm

The wife and I both use "the hose". We are doing fine. We snuggle before we put the masks on.

I cannot imagine someone rejecting you for a health issue. And since they won't see you wearing it for some time ...they will already appreciate you for the person you are.

That said, if I loved someone and they rejected me for my mask, it would still hurt a lot.

Good luck

Rapunzel111 · Post by **Rapunzel111** » Mon Jul 03, 2006 11:35 pm

Jeez Louise-
You two ladies need to see your own worth as human beings.You are not just visuals for others to look at- you are way more than that!
See your own beauty inside,and concentrate less on what others think about your CPAP,and what you look like outside.It's not like you sleep in a coffin like Dracula and must be in it with the lid closed before dawn breaks or something.Your life is not a dress rehearsal,and is meant to be enjoyed!
There are a lot worse medical conditions than what we have out there.

And,becauseCPAP is used while in BED and the man will be in BED with you when he actually sees you using the CPAP,by this point three things will have occurred.....

1.)You will have already educated him and talked to him about Sleep Apnea and CPAP ,and let him know that you are not terminally ill like some may assume upon actually seeing the machine. Let him know you are OK,and better now that you are getting quality sleep.

2.)You will more than likely already have ''fooled aound'' ,and he's tired and likely to fall asleep before you even put your mask on!

3.)Men ususally don't want to give you a hard time after ''fooling around'',because they will ruin their chances of it happening again with you.

Another tip: Wear some racy lingerie while wearing your CPAP and I guarantee he won't remember even noticing the machine or mask at all.
Rapunzel111

Offerocker · Post by **Offerocker** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 8:36 am

Rapunzel111: Excellent, sage advice, that is also applicable to everyone!

Issac · Post by **Issac** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 9:51 am

Very well said for the ladies.
For the gentleman, however, truth be told, my snore is more embarrassing than any CPAP mask could be.
My wife was on CPAP before me and she does not snore. Go figure.

Severeena · Post by **Severeena** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 12:51 pm

I met Tom two years ago and he was using a cpap machine.

I never gave it a thought, because I knew it was keeping him alive.

I was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea, but the one doctor decided to treat me as if I had Narcolepsy instead. Tom read my results and went balistic. I should have been on a machine when I met him.

If the guy loves you enough, he will not run away, but instead love you more. If he doesn't, then he is not worth being around.

birdshell · Post by **birdshell** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 4:24 pm

Y'know, it just occurred to me that my friend's husband had a tracheotomy ('permanent') for sleep apnea. I wonder if a future significant other would react more positively to that than to CPAP?

He has had it reversed, and always used an xPAP. I do not know what made the reversal possible, as he now has Alzheimer's and I am no longer in contact with the family.

I can say that he would have preferred the mask!

Offerocker · Post by **Offerocker** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 4:49 pm

Birdshell: Beleive it or not, I actually thought about having something like that done during my loooooooong struggle! It sounded like the 'perfect' solution, but I believe it impacts the speech. Do you have more info on that? I am very sorry to hear or the Alzheimer's sentence.

birdshell · Post by **birdshell** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 5:46 pm

Birdshell: Beleive it or not, I actually thought about having something like that done during my loooooooong struggle! It sounded like the 'perfect' solution, but I believe it impacts the speech. Do you have more info on that? I am very sorry to hear or the Alzheimer's sentence.

I know that he was a very gifted singer whom I believe had to quit because of it. There is nothing more sad than the Alzheimer's, though. He would have REALLY enjoyed this thread.

He would speak normally and occasionally sing a few notes, but that was it. It does sound like a possible solution, but I don't think you would REALLY like it. It requires some special care.

Short of velcro head implants it might be a real solution. Isn't that telling as to how desperate for sleep one can be?

If you would like a trach, I have a few acres of waterfront (swamp) land that might interest you....Great view, but the mosquitoes! But with a little Yard Gard that would be manageable. (snicker, snicker)

However, a trach may be a good solution for you, so that you can remove the 'duck' tape from your bill. .

Offerocker · Post by **Offerocker** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 6:41 pm

L O L ! ! !

You did it AGAIN!!!
I think we need to get together
Love your sense of humor!!

birdshell · Post by **birdshell** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 8:43 pm

Maybe we could work it out. I'm coming to PA in the Fall. Thank you, Offerocker, for the really kind compliment. I was pretty impressed with your humor, too.

That is something I've noticed: we almost all love to laugh.

But really--is there anywhere a porcupine and a daffy duck could mutually enjoy?

NO ONE ever hugs me. Of course, insults just roll off YOUR back. I'll bet you adjusted to the mask/interface easily, just taking to it as a duck takes to water....

I have to go paper tape my mouth now. Fortunately, I have nasal pillows because as rooster pointed out, it would be tough to get a good seal with a mask. .

dating....do i bother?

Re: dating....do i bother?

Wearing a Mask

Should I Bother Dating (Post CPAP Blues)?

Tracheotomy vs. xPAP?

If you would like to do that...

Swampland