Pissed off scared and depressed

Welcome DerbySaddle!

First, take a deep breath (joke!).

This whole CPAP thing is NOT, for most of us, a huge deal. When you get started it can be a bit of a PITA, but once you learn a little bit and get some some startup issues sorted out the benefits FAR outweigh the liabilities.

For me normal work load for cpap is easy. At night, add a little water to the humidifier, slip on mask, go to sleep. On weekends, take about 15 minutes to clean gear.

Upside-- weight loss, reduced blood pressure, much improved blood sugar, no more daytime fatigue, etc. And no more endless complaints about the snoring.

This for me, and for most of us, turns out to be great return on investment. So please consider giving it a fair try!

Took me about 15 days to fine tune and educate (via here) to make adjustments (change masks and settings). At 47 days now and I actually like the feeling of the cpap. The air is soothing and puts me to sleep. My SO loves not hearing me snore, I have lost 10lbs from doing nothing more than using the machine, my unknown source of knee pain that I have been fighting with for two years now is going away, my leg pain is gone, I am less moody or cloudy in the morning, my memory is improving and my blood pressure is down. Never had mask issues other than finding one that works best for me. Did it suck for the first few weeks- yep- but I fought through it and wasn't going to give up.

I never got depressed or scared about my diagnosis (two months ago). I was just so desperate to find a solution to my insomnia that I was more hopeful and optimistic than anything else. And a solution to why I was so cranky all the time.

Good luck!

Derbysaddle wrote:I'm so screwed. I don't want to have to adjust the way I sleep. I don't want crap in my nose on hanging off my face. ...

At this point dying seems the best option. Probably the best sleep I can hope to achieve now!

You damn silly wimp. I'm 76 years old and have been doing this 18 years.

Man up or get the hell out of here.

Derbysaddle wrote:I have slept fine for the last 36 years . Why do I need to change ? Just another crutch in my life I don't need to deal with.
I wake up and feel fine. I'm not sleepy durning the day I don't wake up with headaches . It seems silly that the doctor I watched sleeping at his qualified to even judge me on my sleep habits. I felt like I just paid $250 for nothing.and then to allow sone DME as I heard someone refer to them as is qualified to determine what pressure I need to be set at. Sounds like I have a better shot at letting person form the local radio shack do it for me.

One of the symptoms of sleep deprivation is the lack of ability to see the effects. Sleep apnea also causes diabetes, strokes, heart attacks, ED all without making lots of people tired or sleepy because that is just one minor symptom.

At age 25, while in excellent health by the way, my ex wife told me I stopped breathing while sleeping. I knew nothing about sleep apnea, and just blew it off as a fluke. Thirty years later, two heart attacks (first one at age 32), open heart surgery, mini strokes, diagnoses of diabetes, Copd, etc. and also having to retire from my life career early and exist on Social Security Disability, a smart heart doctor finally recognized the symptoms of apnea, and recommended a sleep study. 127 events per hour...

I took to treatment like a duck to water. Not because I enjoy being strapped to a machine, but after all the crap that I suffered from untreated apnea, being hooked to this machine aint Jack Sh#$ in comparison. I don't like taking 14 medications a day either, but I do it because I enjoy LIFE! You will do what you want to do, it is your life, do with it as you will. Just remember that there are people in your life that for some unknown reason, really love you, and want you around to share the special moments in their life. learning to live with a cpap is a small price to pay for the happiness of your loved ones..

Nuff said.

Dear Derbysaddle, if you feel this treatment is humiliating, consider this:
A common outcome of untreated apnea is STROKE.
Many stroke survivors are left wearing diapers and are unable to dress themselves.
Is that less humuliating than dressing your face like a fighter pilot at night?
As another control freak, I am doing everything possible to prevent that!

Derbysaddle wrote:

palerider wrote:

Derbysaddle wrote:At this point dying seems the best option. Probably the best sleep I can hope to achieve now!

well, you can do that, though your wife is trying to keep you alive... or maybe she just wants to avoid having to change your diapers after you have a stroke and are nothing but a drooling moron and huge liability for her.

either way, your whiny little temper tantrum isn't helping anyone, least of all you.

you haven't been SLEEPING, you've been PASSED OUT from exhaustion. there is a difference.

Might as we'll be diapers it is just as degrading looking like a mutant with a hose running out my nose

You do realize they don't permanently implant the tubing, right? Just checking.

Derbysaddle wrote:I have slept fine for the last 36 years . Why do I need to change ? Just another crutch in my life I don't need to deal with.
I wake up and feel fine. I'm not sleepy durning the day I don't wake up with headaches . It seems silly that the doctor I watched sleeping at his qualified to even judge me on my sleep habits. I felt like I just paid $250 for nothing.and then to allow sone DME as I heard someone refer to them as is qualified to determine what pressure I need to be set at. Sounds like I have a better shot at letting person form the local radio shack do it for me.

Granted, I haven't got past page 1...HOWEVER, WHY come to a perfectly dysfunctional forum and scream how horrible it is that your wife has convinced herself that she wants you to get help so she can have you around longer? Maybe she is NUTS because honestly...I don't get it. So you THINK you have been sleeping well? Didn't we all? Oops, guess we failed "sleep breathing:101," too. Now put on your big boy pants and TRY it before you cry on here how unfair it is that you were singled out.

Bill44133 wrote:Take 15 minutes and review this youtube video it will help you understand what is going on with snoring, etc:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gie2dhqP2c

This video put the whole thing in perspective for me

I wish you well

Did you review the video? Do you have questions or is there something that you don't understand?

Bill, My brother was diagnosed a couple of years ago and got fed up pretty quickly. He was also determined that the sleep study was a scam. I sent him that video last month and he went and got a new mask and hose and is using it now. His wife also told him that if he had a stroke she would not be wiping his butt but would put him in a home. He is now a believer.

Elle wrote:Bill, My brother was diagnosed a couple of years ago and got fed up pretty quickly. He was also determined that the sleep study was a scam. I sent him that video last month and he went and got a new mask and hose and is using it now. His wife also told him that if he had a stroke she would not be wiping his butt but would put him in a home. He is now a believer.

It is a great video.. It helped me understand what was going on with me, and my family and friend reviewed and also
was able to be of support to me.

I am curious what his sleep report from the study looks like.

I will take a different tactic than the nice people who have responded.

Put your big boy pants on and deal with it!
Not everyone is forced to have a sleep study. I could not wait! I was suffocating at night. Gasping for breath, not being able to wake myself to get that gasp of breath. I started off as just just snoring about 45 years ago and it developed into the gasping for air over time. This too could happen to you.

I never had any of the side effects you mentioned. Also, not all DMEs are awful scam artists. Not all sleep doctors are scamming you either.

Face it. You have a medical condition. Deal with it. Do something about it. It is better than dying. This is something fixable. If you don't want to use CPAP than I advise you to get some good health insurance to cover all the future medical problems you could develop.

No one can help you with the attitude you have. Denial. Once you come to gripes then there is a ton of help here. Help with adjusting to masks, help with pressure, help with the ins and outs of the cpap world.

Bill44133 wrote:

Elle wrote:Bill, My brother was diagnosed a couple of years ago and got fed up pretty quickly. He was also determined that the sleep study was a scam. I sent him that video last month and he went and got a new mask and hose and is using it now. His wife also told him that if he had a stroke she would not be wiping his butt but would put him in a home. He is now a believer.

It is a great video.. It helped me understand what was going on with me, and my family and friend reviewed and also
was able to be of support to me.

I am curious what his sleep report from the study looks like.

I'm not sure about his sleep study. He doesn't like to talk about it and is still not pleased. My other 2 sisters (who are also just starting up) and I are leaving him alone. We are being stealth and hoping he will stick with it. My sister who recently started up is very interested in her treatment and is learning lots. We compare AHI. I think he also believed he had it when the other two sisters were diagnosed. That makes 5 sibs and one about to be tested.

Derbysaddle,
I felt EXACTLY the way you are feeling. I figured my life was OVER. But, I gave it a try. I lucked into a mask that mostly works for me. I lucked into a machine that collects data that I take a look at once in a while to see how I'm doing, which is kind of fun. You know what? It's not so bad. Now I wouldn't want to sleep without CPAP.

Try it for a while, say 1 month. After that, if you really can't deal with it, you can always quit.

My successes:

Lower blood pressure
Better cholesterol and trigliceride numbers
Almost no headaches
Shoulder inflammation is gone

Issues I am still working on

Frequently wake up and can't get back to sleep
Less spontaneity of intimacy
Still have memory issues and trouble working complex problems

I wish I had a chance to go back and start therapy when I was your age.

Jim