OT: Daily Funny bone

General Discussion on any topic relating to CPAP and/or Sleep Apnea.
lazer
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Post by lazer » Thu Dec 13, 2012 1:24 pm

On having business trip to the Orient, Joe decided to spend his last night having wild sex with a Chinese prostitute in Hong Kong.

Upon returning home three weeks later, he noticed a very weird, green, festering sore growing on his penis.

He went to his doctor, Doctor Jones, who, after hearing of his Orient trip and extracurricular­ activities, told him he had Hong Kong Dong and the only cure was complete amputation.

Joe was horrified, and decided to get a second opinion.

Joe contacted Doctor Smith and showed him the green growth.

Doctor Smith said, ‘I am sorry but Doctor Jones is correct. We must amputate right away.’

Joe could not accept this. His friend suggested that he visit an oriental doctor.
They must deal with this all the time.

He went to Doctor Chu Wong.

Doctor Wong agreed with the diagnosis of Hong Kong Dong, but said, ‘These Western doctors – so quick to Chop, Chop, Chop. Amputation not necessary’

Joe was relieved. Doctor Wong said, ‘You wait three weeks and it fall off on its own.’:)

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Henry Jr
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Post by Henry Jr » Thu Dec 13, 2012 3:09 pm

Some people are like a "Slinky"
... not really good for anything but they bring a
smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

(not directed at anyone here)

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ChicagoGranny
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Post by ChicagoGranny » Wed Jan 02, 2013 6:28 pm

Image
"It's not the number of breaths we take, it's the number of moments that take our breath away."

Cuando cuentes cuentos, cuenta cuántas cuentos cuentas.

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chunkyfrog
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Post by chunkyfrog » Wed Jan 02, 2013 8:40 pm

Chicago: What is the date on that image?
I haven't seen a 3-tined plastic fork for decades.

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ChicagoGranny
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Post by ChicagoGranny » Wed Jan 02, 2013 9:24 pm

Date? Well let's say I took it with a Brownie 127.
Last edited by ChicagoGranny on Wed Jan 02, 2013 9:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"It's not the number of breaths we take, it's the number of moments that take our breath away."

Cuando cuentes cuentos, cuenta cuántas cuentos cuentas.

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ChicagoGranny
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Post by ChicagoGranny » Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:01 am

Image
"It's not the number of breaths we take, it's the number of moments that take our breath away."

Cuando cuentes cuentos, cuenta cuántas cuentos cuentas.

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ChicagoGranny
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Post by ChicagoGranny » Sun Feb 03, 2013 3:06 pm

Image
"It's not the number of breaths we take, it's the number of moments that take our breath away."

Cuando cuentes cuentos, cuenta cuántas cuentos cuentas.

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DiverCTHunter
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Post by DiverCTHunter » Sun Feb 03, 2013 7:20 pm

Is it just me, or does anyone else have issues viewing ChicagoGranny's image posts?
When in doubt, open the case. Remember: If you can't open it, you don't own it!

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Pugsy
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Post by Pugsy » Sun Feb 03, 2013 9:43 pm

DiverCTHunter wrote:Is it just me, or does anyone else have issues viewing ChicagoGranny's image posts?
No problem seeing them on my end.

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VVV
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Post by VVV » Mon Feb 04, 2013 7:10 pm

DiverCTHunter wrote:Is it just me, or does anyone else have issues viewing ChicagoGranny's image posts?

Some of those are very funny. Here is a laundry list of things to try and possible issues in order of priority.

Clear browser history

Clear cookies

Use a different browser

incompatible security issues

reboot or do a system restore
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chunkyfrog
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Post by chunkyfrog » Mon Feb 04, 2013 7:49 pm

It's good whether I use Firefox or e-whatever.
I strongly dislike google chrome, and refuse to use it at all.

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RogerSC
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Post by RogerSC » Tue Feb 05, 2013 2:27 am

chunkyfrog wrote:It's good whether I use Firefox or e-whatever.
I strongly dislike google chrome, and refuse to use it at all.
The images look really good using Google Chrome *smile*.
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ChicagoGranny
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Where is the CPAP?

Post by ChicagoGranny » Wed Feb 06, 2013 4:40 pm

Image
"It's not the number of breaths we take, it's the number of moments that take our breath away."

Cuando cuentes cuentos, cuenta cuántas cuentos cuentas.

mayondair
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Post by mayondair » Wed Feb 06, 2013 5:50 pm

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?

WELL .. . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE........



MY NAME IS MARY , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.


COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.


THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.


AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .

YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.


WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.


HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'


YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.


THEN, THAT UGLY,



OLD,



BALDING,



WRINKLED FACED,



FAT-ASSED,



GRAY-HAIRED,



DECREPIT,




MISERABLE,


SON-OF-A-BITCH



ASKED...


"WHAT DID YOU TEACH ?
Any landing you walk away from is a good one; if you don't break your airplane it's excellent.

mayondair
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Post by mayondair » Wed Feb 06, 2013 6:13 pm

An older gentleman attended the Detroit Auto show and was very impressed with the new GM Corvette Stingray, decided he wasn't getting any younger and bought himself a beautiful fire engine red one for his birthday. He was enjoying his new ride cruising I75 at 80 mph when he saw flashing blue lights in his rear view mirror. He thought to himself, lets see what this car will do. He hit the accelerator, at 125mph the cop was still behind him. Common sense prevailed and he decided he ought to pull over. The officer asked for his license and registration, ran them through the computer and said to the old man" Mister, you have never had a ticket, never been in trouble of any kind , it's your birthday and this is obviously a new car. I really don't want to issue you a citation so if you have an excuse, and it better be a good one, now is the time to let me hear it.
The old man thought for a moment "Officer, 15 years ago my wife ran off with a state trooper and I thought you were trying to bring her back"
Any landing you walk away from is a good one; if you don't break your airplane it's excellent.