OT: Daily Funny bone

ems wrote:

ChicagoGranny wrote:

ems wrote:

You know, that was just so disgusting on so many levels.

And you had the good sense to quote it, so that it shows up twice!

Apparently you thought it was in good taste and funny (note thread title) or you wouldn't have posted it. Again, disgusting on so many levels.

Good taste and funny seldom go together.

About 40 years ago, I tasted horse. (a temporary food fad) Bleah! I like beef/venison/elk way better.

It's bad enough when I have to have the teenage jokes translated, but I must really be old, don't understand the pope, the horses, or the car.....

From my very limited Ukrainian:
First photo: "Chelyabinsk before meteorite strike"
Second photo: "Chelyabinsk after meteorite strike"
(warning--translation approximate)

herefishy wrote:It's bad enough when I have to have the teenage jokes translated, but I must really be old, don't understand the pope, the horses, or the car.....

Findus is a frozen food brand in Europe. The joke is related to the horse meat scandal enveloping the EU right now.

Look close at the pope's face and be reminded of "hope and change." It's really a lame play on words, something the anti-Obama folks really dig.

Thanks so much for the clarification - is the Pope's face supposed to be Obama?

herefishy wrote:is the Pope's face supposed to be Obama?

Yep, sure looked like it to me.

chunkyfrog wrote:From my very limited Ukrainian:
First photo: "Chelyabinsk before meteorite strike"
Second photo: "Chelyabinsk after meteorite strike"
(warning--translation approximate)

I don't know what is more surprising, a meteorite strike in Chelyabinsk or our little frog speaking Ukrainian? I have to say it is a toss-up because I can't decide . I have seen it all now...

The Blondie strip is years overdue for an introduction to CPAP.

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me ten thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

I keep telling you! Don't Mess with Old People!!

ChicagoGranny wrote:

You took this picture vs fining it on the internet? Please let me know how this came to be? Funniest thing in the thread so far

I had to edit this to add this is the awesomest thing ever. Can I borrow this for avatar pictures?

Two guys are playing golf, neither having a particularly good round they both screw up their drives in opposite directions form each other. To save time, they opt to seperate, and meet back up at the end of the hole. The first golfer gets to his ball, and finds it in buried in a field of buttercups. Frustrated he starts chopping away hoping to hit the ball with one of his wild strokes. After a few attempts, mother nature appears. Clearly appalled at what the man has done she says, "What on earth are you doing to my beautiful field of flowers. This cannot go unpunished. To atone for your sins, I decree you are not allowed to have butter for 5 years." The man, looks back at his ball, and starts into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Mother nature is now furious, and after the man recovers himself she asks, "This is very serious, how on earth could you find this funny." The man replies, "Next you need to go see my friend his ball ended up in the pussy willows"
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An old man had a checkup, and could not hear so well, his wife being used to this accompanied him to help him through it. The Dr during the check up stated he would need a blood, urine and stool sample. Not hearing the dr, he tried to figure out what he said by looking at his wife. Her reply, "Just give him your underwear."
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Another RLS cartoon