So Upset about the Cpap

[unhappy]

I just got fitted for my full mask cpap machine, the first night I felt as if I was being suffocated, the second night I tried to stay positive but I struggled staying asleep. The bottom line is I feel sorry for myself, I never wanted this machine I always thought that I had sleep apnea and of course was diagnosed with SEVERE SLEEP apnea!!!

My father used a cpap machine for years seemed to do well with it. I do feel as if I am a very small minority of women that use the machine, learning from this forum that's not true, I thought that would help my anxiety get better but so far no such luck. I have kids and don't want them to see me with the machine I am a very private person and am a little humiliated that I have this diagnosis too. I also have a few other medical problems and this one is just another one. I hope writing this and hearing some positive feed back will help me get accustomed to the machine and not feel so upset about it. Don't want to offend anyone with my "woe is me" just needed to express it and to the family and friends that know they have tried to help but I feel if they had to wear one their replies would be different.

[Lizistired]

Welcome to the forum. Get over it. It is what it is and xpap can save your life.
Register and list your equipment.
My brother has undiagnosed sleep apnea and will probably die in his sleep, or have a stroke and his stubborn family will have to take care of him.
What other condition would you resist treatment for?

[nanwilson]

You are still in a learning curve, give it time you will get there. There is no big deal in using a cpap machine and mask, you have no reason to feel humiliated about it. I am willing to bet that there are several folks in your neighbourhood/church/ school that are also on the hose . I sat down one day after hearing that someone I knew had just gotten his machine...then upon thinking about it I counted 12 of my neighbours and friends that were hose heads.....2 of them still in denial. It is not a big deal....you will wake up one morning feeling ready to take on the world and wonder where the renewed energy came from. Take it one day at a time, you are not alone, there are a bunch of us right here on cpaptalk that will help in any way that we can. And please remember there are no stupid questions...just ask!
Cheers
Nan

[wilsonintexas]

Not sure what there is top be humilated about. It does get better, so they tell me.

Instead of hiding it from the family, why not talk about it openly? It is no differnt than other cronic problems.

I think that this forum can give you support, can definatly hely yu understand things. I hope we make you feel that you ar not alone.... WE can also be a little bit.. how to say it... blunt.

We all have the same problem, and have had to make the adjustments.

Very few of us feel that we need to hide it....

I can not even imagine why you would feel humilated. I need eye glasses, and arch supports for me feet..... no problems there.

When ia had a broken foot, I did not try to hide crutches....

Why would you try to hide this from the family?????


But welcome to the forum.

It takes a while to settle in, it will get better.

It can save your life.

[Sir NoddinOff]

Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear about your CPAP woes. It isn't uncommon for a guest to vent all their issues in the first post, it's probably a healthy thing to do, up to a point. However, when looking for someone to help, what I usually respond to is a follow-up post which essentially asks: Can any members help me get out of this mess and adapt to my therapy?

Too many rants about the damn machine or the unfairness of life usually results in a new post that soon drops off the first page. That is, unless the writer takes the tone of attacking the members of CPAPtalk. But that's another issue. Sooooo, ask us some specific questions about how to mitigate your problems and you'll probably get a lot of useful advice, plus it doesn't hurt to put the questions, in brief form, into the subject line. Also, please fill out your equipment profile when you sign-up as a member. Good luck

[chunkyfrog]

I was upset about never getting enough sleep; in danger of losing my job due to falling asleep at my desk,
and a world-class grouch. I had circles under my eyes and couln't stay awake through a damn MOVIE!
What a relief that these problems could be solved with a simple machine!
Hubby and I both have machines; and at bedtime it's like: Astronauts-do they or don't they?
--or Fighter pilots--we know why the crews aren't mixed gender (but wouldn't it be fun if they were?)
This machine is a godsend--OSA is not--but it is nice I didn't have to have painful surgery to deal with it.

[Xney]

The feeling of suffocation, is it because "you don't have enough air" or "too much air"?

It's an adjustment, for sure, but it will help things a lot.

[2Tim215]

Welcome to the CPAP Community. To me this is a great first step! I have been on CPAP with Severe Sleep apnea for 22 months and just recently reached out for help and advice. I was blessed to find this site with the help and replies and have learned quite a lot. I am not embarrassed of being on CPAP and neither should you, it wasn't anything I believe we could have prevented except in my case I should have gotten treated sooner but was stubborn and worried with my OCD I wouldn't be able to tolerate the Sleep Study test so delayed my Doctors request for quite a while before I gave in. I did go and glad now although in my case still experiencing problems that may or may not be related to my severe sleep disorder as I have many health issues. I had a situation not to long ago when one of my grandchildren was visiting and ran back to my room because Nana said go get Papa to wake up. I felt bad as the machine and hose attached to my face scared them and ran out and asked if I was okay. Nana brought him back and I told him I just needed it to sleep better and and then joked around calling myself an elephant while shaking my head back and forth with my long nose! Soothed the little one and now it doesn't scare him or the other grandchildren anymore. It is part of our life and we need to do the best we can to help ourselves along the way. There are different choices of headgear, masks, etc. and I'm sure many others will be able to advise you on how to work with your machine to make it as comfortable as possible. Please don't get discouraged and see what others here have done that have went through getting adjusted through the first nights or weeks, I think you will be as impressed as I was with the knowledge here!

[JeffL]

Why use a full mask? To make a long story short, I couldn't tolerate anything like that either. Then I was introduced to the nasal pillow mask. CPAP became "no big deal" from then on.

[YogaKitty]

I'm only one month into this, so don't have much experience. My best advice is to read, read, read the forum. I have learned so much from this group! There are a LOT of women on here, you aren't alone! Also, no way could I tolerate a full face mask. Try nasal pillows or the Sleepweaver soft mask and it might go better for you. I alternate between the Swift FX for her and the Sleepweaver elan.

[ReadyforRest]

I just got fitted for my full mask cpap machine, the first night I felt as if I was being suffocated, the second night I tried to stay positive but I struggled staying asleep. The bottom line is I feel sorry for myself, I never wanted this machine I always thought that I had sleep apnea and of course was diagnosed with SEVERE SLEEP apnea!!!

My father used a cpap machine for years seemed to do well with it. I do feel as if I am a very small minority of women that use the machine, learning from this forum that's not true, I thought that would help my anxiety get better but so far no such luck. I have kids and don't want them to see me with the machine I am a very private person and am a little humiliated that I have this diagnosis too. I also have a few other medical problems and this one is just another one. I hope writing this and hearing some positive feed back will help me get accustomed to the machine and not feel so upset about it. Don't want to offend anyone with my "woe is me" just needed to express it and to the family and friends that know they have tried to help but I feel if they had to wear one their replies would be different.

Unhappy ... I feel for you on so many levels.

First, if you're feeling suffocated, you might want to check with your sleep doc to see if you can get the pressure setting raised a bit higher. Tell him that you feel like your suffocating. Often when the pressure setting is too low, you will feel like you aren't getting enough air. If it's raised a bit higher by just a couple of numbers, you will feel a whole lot better. Second, I completely agree with JeffL that a nasal pillow mask is much less invasive and more easily tolerated. I use a nasal pillow mask nightly and have a more comfortable sleep with a lot less on my face and a lot fewer leaks.

It is quite normal to have many difficult nights when you're starting out on this therapy. I did. Many people here did too. If you read and read here, you'll find that there are answers and solutions to the truckload of questions you probably have. Heck, just knowing that there are so many people on this forum who are just like yourself helps psychologically , you know? I know that helped me immensely, just knowing that I'm not alone, that there are a lot of other people dealing with the same issues and therapy.

And yes, there are a whole lot of women (including me) on cpap. You are not alone. I also feel somewhat shy about being seen in my mask at night. Would rather shut the light off before exiting the bathroom and entering the bedroom so hubby doesn't have to see me in my gear. But he constantly reassures me that I look "cute" in it ... so there ya go! Don't be afraid to ask for help. We're all here for you.

[jacobsbd]

Some machines have a setting called ramp. This starts the pressure below the perscribed pressure and slowly increases it to reach the perscribed pressure. On my machine I can turn this on and off and also determine how long it takes to reach the full value. This is considered a comfort setting and you are allowed to change it without going into technician mode.

You may want to try turning this off if it is on or on if it is off.

having the humidity set wrong can cause congestion making it hard to breathe as well. Like the ramp settings some get stuffed up with too much humidity others with too little.

i personally do not know what I would feel if I had to wear my mask when I was out and about. The only person who sees me with it on is my wife and she likes the lack of snoring so much she is glad I use it.

One last tip. Using your machine for a while while watching TV/reading and staying awake can help your body get used to it,.

[SleepDepraved2]

I have heard the "shame" in new people's posts when they talk about CPAP, and I have to say that compared to treatments for other conditions, I don't find CPAP humiliating. When you think of people on dialysis or those who go through cancer treatments, CPAP is not bad at all. This is not just treatment, remember, it is preventative medicine. Having a stroke would be much more humiliating, with the experience of being unable to speak properly, drooling, incontinent possibly, not being able to feed yourself. You are preventing future humiliation.

I guess the reason for my attitude is the experiences I had with my first pregnancy and the humiliations I suffered through, i.e., preterm labor in a teaching hospital means EVERYONE has to check your cervix multiple times per day, nurses, doctors, interns, residents, probably even the janitor at some point, sleeping on a labor bed for 4 nights, and then giving birth was a rare treat too. One of the major reasons I left that OB/GYN practice and switched to a certified midwife practicing out of a different hospital. Giving birth in general can be pretty humiliating, amazing that I volunteered to do it more than once. Once you lay there with giving birth in front of multiple people (and everybody who is free in the labor and delivery area runs in when the baby is about to come out because it's the reason they are there and they want to see every birth they possibly can) being humiliated becomes much more difficult to ever be again.

So my approach to CPAP is that at least I get to enjoy the treatment in the privacy of my own home. My children have seen me with the mask on. It's no big deal. It is really only a big deal if you make it one.

[chunkyfrog]

Most cats are only frightened once; and we all know their opinion is the only one that matters.

[Janknitz]

Unhappy, I remember feeling exactly the same way when I first started, but now I feel like a big proponent of CPAP.

You need to figure out your motivation for doing this. I had two:
1. DH hadn't been able to sleep in our bed for more than a year because of my snoring. He made light of buying cute footie pj's and sleeping on the couch in our cold living room, but I was sad that we couldn't sleep together any more.
2. I have young children. I didn't want to die and leave them without a mother, I didn't want to fall asleep on the road with them in the car.

So as much as I hated it and felt so unhappy and depressed, I pushed on. It took hard work and a lot of whining, but I got through it, mostly thanks to the wonderful support on this forum. You will too.

We're here to help if you can be specific about your machine, mask, and try to narrow down the problems to the three most annoying so that we don't overwhelm you with suggestions. After those are tackled, we can still help, but you need to eat the elephant one bite at a time.