First and last night on BiPAP

no1texan · Post by **no1texan** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:12 am

Thanks to each of you for your support and time to reply to my questions. Unfortunately this will be my last post because last night was my first night with my BiPAP and my last. Am I giving up? Not really. I am facing facts and reality. There is a lot to learn when one first learns about having sleep apnea especially how to use the equipment, etc. and requires a commitment by the individual. This I am committed to. But if the support is not at home, then there is no way I can continue. Not only is there no support, her kinds of questions and actions are contrary and hinders a successful night's use of the equipment and a good night sleep. I can adjust to the equipment, I can ask questions on this forum and get great feedback but there is nothing I can do about lack of support at home. I wore the same equipment the night I had my testing and did fine-support by the techs was there. This same support is needed at home and if not, well... I wish all of you continued success.

Phil

Suzjohnson · Post by **Suzjohnson** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:18 am

Oh Phil, I am so sorry! Does she not understand the consequences of untreated apnea? I'm working at not saying really ugly things here but if it was my husband, I would tell, not ask but tell him to find another house to live in, NOW! That's not much different than putting arsenic in your coffee each morning. 'nuf said.

Suz

nanwilson · Post by **nanwilson** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:23 am

Phil.....what is more important to you your health or her? I would suggest that you let her read some of the threads here on the forum, she will then grab a gist of what will happen to you if you don't use the machine. Ask her if she would allow you to use an artifiicial leg or arm, or have a heart transplant, or liver or kidney......the list goes on and our machine is the same thing. I always though that marriage was a 50/50 "till death do us part" ...but I guesse not. Perhaps you should stick your partner with the....."which do you prefer scenario...my using the cpap machine or you changing my adult diapers after I have a stroke"
I'm afraid to say, my husband would have been the same...complaining about the noise, the air blowing on him, etc, etc, etc., but he passed away prior to my going on the hose.........fortunate I don't have to listen to him, but unfortunate I am now alone and have to deal with it all by myself

lliann · Post by **lliann** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:27 am

Phil, I may be new to the world of bipaps, but I am not new to the world of learning to take care of oneself with or without support.

I don't know what the reaction is, but your life is your responsibility. And your apnea is too. I have learned if I can't get support from those closest to me, then I ask them to at least not get in my way while I take care of myself. While sometimes I get that support, sometimes I don't. And then without blame or guilt, I take care of what I must take care of. My health. Thats one of those things only I pay the price on.

lazer · Post by **lazer** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:30 am

Phil, Please don't give up. I/we don't know your whole situation and what you are up against regarding your significant other but your health has to come first no matter what.

Hang in there. Keeping your treatment for OSA has to be #1 priority!

chunkyfrog · Post by **chunkyfrog** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:39 am

Threaten to cancel your life insurance.
If you are wealthy, make out your will NOW.
Leave everything to charity, or distant relations--or us (not really)
If she is impatient for you to croak, make sure she doesn't end up a rich widow.

squid13 · Post by **squid13** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:47 am

Ask, why are you killing me cause that's what is happening. It is slow but it will happen. If you have two bedrooms I'd move into one and leave her in the other. As everyone has said your health comes first and foremost.

SleepTechTN · Post by **SleepTechTN** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 11:38 am

jlklinko · Post by **jlklinko** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 11:43 am

Hi there
1) It doesn't look like he's coming back.......
2) If you do come back online, please read these posts.
3) I am new to CPAP, but know how important it is and how much better I feel!!!

robysue · Post by **robysue** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:14 pm

SleepTechTN wrote:I
One thing that doesn't get discussed in these threads is the EEG data. It's great to know where your desats are and what pressure makes them go away, but the software never addresses the EEG arousals. It's not just the obstructions, it's also what the brain does to compensate. It's violent. I can tell you that before the application of cpap there is absolute chaos in the EEG channels. After cpap there is peace. Chaos--peace. it's black and white.

Ken,

Thank you for pointing this out. It is forgotten by a lot of folks around here that not all of us experience clinically significant desats with our events. In my own case, if my sleep test had been scored by Medicare standards, none of my hypopneas would have "counted" and I would have been sent home as having no OSA since my Medicare AHI = 3.5, all made up of OAs. But because my lab scored hypopneas under Rule 4B, I wound up with 78 "hypopneas with arousal" scored and an overall RDI = 23.1 and a diagnosis of moderate OSA.

And I have to say that although my adjustment period was both prolonged and hellish, in the end, I think it's been worth it because I have no doubt that now that I've learned how to sleep with the machine that my EEG is indeed much more peaceful than it was before CPAP. And that does make my sleep much more restful and restorative.

Sloop · Post by **Sloop** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:21 pm

Phil -- I am not positive if these stats still hold true -- but, a decade ago, it was announced that UNTREATED OSA after 5 years had only a 40% survival rate. Now THAT is something your partner can get their arms around.

Good Luck.

chunkyfrog · Post by **chunkyfrog** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:27 pm

Come back to the hose side.
Dump that selfish irrational broad NOW.
She's not worth dying for.

Janknitz · Post by **Janknitz** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:25 pm

I am so sorry that you don't have support. But you should consider for yourself that you also won't have support when you have that stroke or serious heart attack. Someone who won't put up with a simple machine like this is not going to put up with changing your diapers, bathing, and feeding you either.

Sorry to sound harsh, but that's the reality. You may want to seek counseling or rethink this marriage thing. Dear Abby always said that when considering your marriage you have to decide if you're better off with or without your spouse. It sounds to me that in this case your health will certainly be better without her.

BlackSpinner · Post by **BlackSpinner** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:45 pm

no1texan wrote:Thanks to each of you for your support and time to reply to my questions. Unfortunately this will be my last post because last night was my first night with my BiPAP and my last. Am I giving up? Not really. I am facing facts and reality. There is a lot to learn when one first learns about having sleep apnea especially how to use the equipment, etc. and requires a commitment by the individual. This I am committed to. But if the support is not at home, then there is no way I can continue. Not only is there no support, her kinds of questions and actions are contrary and hinders a successful night's use of the equipment and a good night sleep. I can adjust to the equipment, I can ask questions on this forum and get great feedback but there is nothing I can do about lack of support at home. I wore the same equipment the night I had my testing and did fine-support by the techs was there. This same support is needed at home and if not, well... I wish all of you continued success.

Phil

So how does she feel about changing your Depends? If she can't handle this how is she going to handle the potential of much worse?
Did she forget her marriage vows along the way here? Tell me why you would stay with someone determined to kill you?

Chuck Connors · Post by **Chuck Connors** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:52 pm

Phil,

I would be depressed too if I didn't have the support that I do at home. Some people just don't understand what untreated sleep apnea is and the harm it can do, not just physically, such as afib, but in your relationships with other people. The only suggestion that I can offer is to take this person with you to your next sleep doc appointment. Possibly there are local sleep support groups in your area that you and family members can attend. Best wishes. -Chuck-

First and last night on BiPAP

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