Hi everyone!
I am hoping that I can get some input on this subject. I have only been using my CPAP machine for a few weeks now, and let me tell you, it has taken some getting used to. Last night I had a break down, as I felt like some kind of alien lying there with my breathing mask on. I threw if off and said I am NEVER going to use this again. I felt embarrassed and unattractive. I have noticed myself waiting until everyone else is asleep before I put it on. I have NEVER been a vain person, but I really am NOT feeling all that attractive at this point in time! Has anyone else had these thought or feelings? I feel so alone in this. My husband tries to make me feel better, but it doesn't seem to work. I am at my wits end. I hope this doesn't sound crazy. Thanks for reading and I hope you all are doing well in your quest for better sleep! -Mellie
Will this feeling ever go away?
There is no need to feel attractive when you sleep.
You put your mask on when "you" are ready to go to sleep, it doesn't matter what anyone else in the household is doing. If your husband is trying to be helpful, that is a big plus for him. Tuck the kiddies in to bed, read them a story, cuddle and whatever ( ) with your sweetie, turn the lights out and put on your mask. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.
Would you rather have health issues that prevent you from enjoying your life with your family? Come on, kiddo. You can do it!!!
Wrap a feather boa around the hose, put glitter and sparkles on the head gear. Put a nice teddy on the unit!! Sleep naked and WooHoo, you are gorgeous!!!
You put your mask on when "you" are ready to go to sleep, it doesn't matter what anyone else in the household is doing. If your husband is trying to be helpful, that is a big plus for him. Tuck the kiddies in to bed, read them a story, cuddle and whatever ( ) with your sweetie, turn the lights out and put on your mask. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.
Would you rather have health issues that prevent you from enjoying your life with your family? Come on, kiddo. You can do it!!!
Wrap a feather boa around the hose, put glitter and sparkles on the head gear. Put a nice teddy on the unit!! Sleep naked and WooHoo, you are gorgeous!!!
WooHoo! Life is good.
I get a little cocky when I am "NO LONGER TIRED"
I get a little cocky when I am "NO LONGER TIRED"
Its not crazy it is something we all have gone through. I don't think there is one of us that lives with this that hasn't gone through the "Why Me?" stage. There is nothing natural about hooking a pump up to your face, but it is something we must do.
If you haven't noticed I, read my posts and you'll see, sort of have a warped persepctive on things which is my way of coping. I just figure that laughing sure beats the alternatives.
What I really try to do is shift the focus from what I am going through to what I am gaining. If every night I put the mask on I even gain an hour that I wouldn't have without it, then the investment is well worth it.
There are good nights followed by fantastic days but it takes time for them to appear for most of us. I strongly urge you don't give up. If it makes it easier to go to sleep after everyone else for a while then do it.
I think if you really look at it, your loved ones realize it isn't fun its therapy and they want what is best for you. I know for me it was how I was perceiving me not how they were. I saw an alien falling asleeep and they saw me getting help as well as them finally being able to get a night of un-interrupted sleep. Talk to them and find out what they think. It will suprise you.
Good luck and always feel free to check in here for some support and maybe a little fun. Remember you deserve to get everything this therapy can provide you.
If you haven't noticed I, read my posts and you'll see, sort of have a warped persepctive on things which is my way of coping. I just figure that laughing sure beats the alternatives.
What I really try to do is shift the focus from what I am going through to what I am gaining. If every night I put the mask on I even gain an hour that I wouldn't have without it, then the investment is well worth it.
There are good nights followed by fantastic days but it takes time for them to appear for most of us. I strongly urge you don't give up. If it makes it easier to go to sleep after everyone else for a while then do it.
I think if you really look at it, your loved ones realize it isn't fun its therapy and they want what is best for you. I know for me it was how I was perceiving me not how they were. I saw an alien falling asleeep and they saw me getting help as well as them finally being able to get a night of un-interrupted sleep. Talk to them and find out what they think. It will suprise you.
Good luck and always feel free to check in here for some support and maybe a little fun. Remember you deserve to get everything this therapy can provide you.
I imagine we have all felt that way from time to time. You have to convince yourself that this is something that will really be of great benefit to you and is worth the effort to use it. I have never really cared too much what I look like when I go to bed but I can see where you're coming from. You have to really believe that this will improve your health. It took about 5 or 6 weeks before I began to notice a real difference in the way I felt and then I felt absolutely great for about 2 months and then the fatigue began to return and I had to sleep more but at least with cpap, I could sleep and notice some benefit from it. The fatigue went away again and then it would return but after about 8 months on cpap, I fianlly was able to get rid of it. I have some days that are better than others but they are a whole lot better than before cpap. Looking back, I don't see how I ever made it as long as I did without treatment. Be very greatful that your husband is supportive. A lot of us don't have a supportive spouse. My husband thinks sleep apnea isn't real and that I could stop snoring if I really made my mind up to quit. If that's so, I wonder why he doesn't quit but he swears he doesn't snore. Too bad he can't hear himself sometimes!!!! Hang in there and I promise it will get better. Perhaps you should consider a different mask. Changing masks made all of the difference in the world to me. It's really hard sometimes to find the right mask for you but it is so worth it when you do. These are just suggestions. I hope they help some.
If the only problem you have with your mask is you feel like you look weird in it, then I want to trade with you. I'm new to this as well and I have some pretty bad days when it comes to getting my mask to work comfortably. I am in the process of trying something new to help with that.
But yes, I do feel kind of self conscious when I am sleeping next to my girlfriend and have to have hoses hanging off me and a mask. She says she does not mind but it does play with my head sometimes. But the way I feel when I was not using it is far worse than how I can make myself feel thinking about that too long. So yes there are some of us out here that feel the same as you, but I couldn't think about not using it because of that myself.
Not sure if that helps, other than to know that I know how you feel. I think you will get used to it. You could always accessorize it
But yes, I do feel kind of self conscious when I am sleeping next to my girlfriend and have to have hoses hanging off me and a mask. She says she does not mind but it does play with my head sometimes. But the way I feel when I was not using it is far worse than how I can make myself feel thinking about that too long. So yes there are some of us out here that feel the same as you, but I couldn't think about not using it because of that myself.
Not sure if that helps, other than to know that I know how you feel. I think you will get used to it. You could always accessorize it
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ProfessorSleep
- Posts: 338
- Joined: Sat Sep 10, 2005 7:42 pm
- Location: Wisconsin
You betch you're not alone! I figured I wasn't too attractive though when I was cranky, irritable, falling asleep without warning, and about ready to stroke with hypertension and all the other fun things that come with OSA. I also fought with the equipment off and on for a few weeks - nothing fit right, felt right, I didn't feel better, it wasn't worth it, blah, blah. But I new better... I was slowly feeling better, day by day, I was saving my life (literally), I was less cranky and more productive, etc. I tried mask after mask, and my share of soul searching and kvetching here....
Long story short, it's only been a little over 2 months now and I don't think I could sleep without my gear. I've finally found a setup that works, I'm not "cured" but I sure do feel better, and everyone around me is much happier, and happier for me, too. Attractive? When you think of all the things we could be going through, having to wear some bizarre contraption when we sleep is really, in the grand scheme of things, not so bad. It's dark and, if we're lucky, we sleep through it. Eventually.
Yes, it does get better. Don't give up, and focus on , as Mike said, what you and everyone around you is gaining by your going through this. I bet you'll be much more appealing to everyone as an alert, balanced, wakeful and productive person!
Long story short, it's only been a little over 2 months now and I don't think I could sleep without my gear. I've finally found a setup that works, I'm not "cured" but I sure do feel better, and everyone around me is much happier, and happier for me, too. Attractive? When you think of all the things we could be going through, having to wear some bizarre contraption when we sleep is really, in the grand scheme of things, not so bad. It's dark and, if we're lucky, we sleep through it. Eventually.
Yes, it does get better. Don't give up, and focus on , as Mike said, what you and everyone around you is gaining by your going through this. I bet you'll be much more appealing to everyone as an alert, balanced, wakeful and productive person!
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Colorado Jan
Mellie....have you tried the Swift interface? Well, okay, technically speaking, it is ugly also, but it is much smaller and there is not as much "stuff" on your head and face. I use several masks, but find I feel the most "normal" with the Swift. It is just not as formidable as some of the masks are.
Yes, definitely I know the feelings you describe. But we need to be able to enjoy and be alert for all the days of our lives, and get as many of those days packed INTO our lives as possible....and therefore, we NEED the CPAP. And truthfully, how many of us REALLY look like Sleeping Beauty in the night anyway? Probably not that many. At least we don't have to walk around all DAY with something like this on our heads. It is a relatively private treatment, when you think about it.
Good luck, relax about it, and DON'T GIVE UP! Try to quit being so self-conscious and use your sense of humor about it all...you'll get used to it in no time.
Jan in Colo.
Yes, definitely I know the feelings you describe. But we need to be able to enjoy and be alert for all the days of our lives, and get as many of those days packed INTO our lives as possible....and therefore, we NEED the CPAP. And truthfully, how many of us REALLY look like Sleeping Beauty in the night anyway? Probably not that many. At least we don't have to walk around all DAY with something like this on our heads. It is a relatively private treatment, when you think about it.
Good luck, relax about it, and DON'T GIVE UP! Try to quit being so self-conscious and use your sense of humor about it all...you'll get used to it in no time.
Jan in Colo.
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ProfessorSleep
- Posts: 338
- Joined: Sat Sep 10, 2005 7:42 pm
- Location: Wisconsin
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Colorado Jan
My hubby and I have named my equipment "Harvey the Hose". So he will make comments like...I noticed you and Harvey were getting pretty close last night.....and I'll say, yep, it is getting pretty serious between the two of us. And when I head off to bed...Harvey and I are going to bed now, so if you want to get as close to me as he does, you better hurry on in here! etc., etc., etc.
Jan in Colo.
Jan in Colo.
Hi Mellie,
Yup... I have sure been were you are right now. I still turn off the light before putting my mask on. My hubby is very supportive of my treatment for OSA, but I am still embarrased. I just keep remembering how much better I feel now that I have been on my APAP since April.
Maybe you could video tape your husband while he is asleep and snoring...
Take care!
Teri
Yup... I have sure been were you are right now. I still turn off the light before putting my mask on. My hubby is very supportive of my treatment for OSA, but I am still embarrased. I just keep remembering how much better I feel now that I have been on my APAP since April.
Maybe you could video tape your husband while he is asleep and snoring...
Take care!
Teri
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- WOW -- What a Ride!"
You have described what I expect we have all experienced. I know I felt more than a little awkward for the first several weeks. I was worried about how I looked to my wife. I was worried about how I looked to my kids (even the cat gave me weird looks ). At this point, my CPAP apparatus (dolled-up with pad a cheeks) is just another part of our busy lives.
As long as this board is around, you will never be alone.
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CPAPopedia Keywords Contained In This Post (Click For Definition): CPAP
As long as this board is around, you will never be alone.
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CPAPopedia Keywords Contained In This Post (Click For Definition): CPAP
"First rule of holes: when you are in one, stop digging"
Mellie,
Don't let it get you down!! Looks don't mean a thing when you're just a human being somewhere on planet Earth, doing what you can to survive and maintain your health. The people in your life will support you because they love you. For me, I try to look at it as part of an overall strategy to lose weight and maintain my physical and mental well-being. It's not like I have to wear the crazy mask to work, so as long as it is helping, I'll ride it out some more..
Good luck!
Don't let it get you down!! Looks don't mean a thing when you're just a human being somewhere on planet Earth, doing what you can to survive and maintain your health. The people in your life will support you because they love you. For me, I try to look at it as part of an overall strategy to lose weight and maintain my physical and mental well-being. It's not like I have to wear the crazy mask to work, so as long as it is helping, I'll ride it out some more..
Good luck!
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neversleeps
- Posts: 1141
- Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:06 pm
- Location: Minnesota
Yes. In answer to your question, yes, that feeling will go away.
I wrote this once before, but it bears repeating:
Here is the hardline approach to your dilemma:
Life sentence of mask on face, or death sentence from stroke, heart attack, high blood pressure, etc.
Sleep beside your husband with your new gear, or don't be there at all to sleep beside him.
Have someone see you in your mask, or have someone trying to remember what you looked like.
OSA is linked to many serious illnesses and diseases including (but not limited to) diabetes and many cardiovascular problems. Click on this link:
Cardiovascular Disease and Sleep Apnea
You would not want your pride or fear to keep you from living a long healthy life, and you wouldn't want to deprive your husband or children or grandchildren of being with their wife, mother and grandmother for many years to come.
Above all, try to stay positive and keep in mind how lucky you are to have been correctly diagnosed, and that there IS a proven treatment. Whether or not you choose to use it is entirely up to you.
I wrote this once before, but it bears repeating:
Here is the hardline approach to your dilemma:
Life sentence of mask on face, or death sentence from stroke, heart attack, high blood pressure, etc.
Sleep beside your husband with your new gear, or don't be there at all to sleep beside him.
Have someone see you in your mask, or have someone trying to remember what you looked like.
OSA is linked to many serious illnesses and diseases including (but not limited to) diabetes and many cardiovascular problems. Click on this link:
Cardiovascular Disease and Sleep Apnea
You would not want your pride or fear to keep you from living a long healthy life, and you wouldn't want to deprive your husband or children or grandchildren of being with their wife, mother and grandmother for many years to come.
Above all, try to stay positive and keep in mind how lucky you are to have been correctly diagnosed, and that there IS a proven treatment. Whether or not you choose to use it is entirely up to you.