Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
- yorkiemum01
- Posts: 377
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 6:45 pm
- Location: In the woods, (Lake Norman) NC
Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
Certain this topic issue has been addressed in the past, but had to throw it out there.
As a divorced woman...turning 40 (ohhh too soon)...wondering HOW does one even begin
dating once again, let alone being on cpap therapy. I took many years off from having a relationship
and raised my sons, but one look at the 'singles scene' sends me running. I truly dont want to spend the remainder of my life alone either.
HOW does one start over, yet remains a mystery to me. How to meet a 'nice guy'...is overwhelming
enough, but starting over with my cpap feels like I've bit off more than I can chew.
Any folks out there been there, done that?
As a divorced woman...turning 40 (ohhh too soon)...wondering HOW does one even begin
dating once again, let alone being on cpap therapy. I took many years off from having a relationship
and raised my sons, but one look at the 'singles scene' sends me running. I truly dont want to spend the remainder of my life alone either.
HOW does one start over, yet remains a mystery to me. How to meet a 'nice guy'...is overwhelming
enough, but starting over with my cpap feels like I've bit off more than I can chew.
Any folks out there been there, done that?
_________________
Mask: Mirage Quattro™ Full Face CPAP Mask with Headgear |
Additional Comments: pressure is 11, began cpap tx 2/25/08. Also use Chiro-Flow Pillow. |
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. And remember - the richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.
-
- Posts: 266
- Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2008 5:04 pm
Re: Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
"Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man will always trade sleep for sex."
- Jerry, in "The Smelly Car"
- Jerry, in "The Smelly Car"
- yorkiemum01
- Posts: 377
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 6:45 pm
- Location: In the woods, (Lake Norman) NC
Re: Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
Oh Dozer...thank you so much for a good laugh, think I needed that!
_________________
Mask: Mirage Quattro™ Full Face CPAP Mask with Headgear |
Additional Comments: pressure is 11, began cpap tx 2/25/08. Also use Chiro-Flow Pillow. |
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. And remember - the richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.
Re: Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
Well, one idea would be to date fellow cpapr's....hint....hint....lol....! Only thing is, I'm not really a nice guy.. .
Seriously, I haven't crossed that bridge yet...and my instinct is that I am going to be very uncomfortable strapping on my mask in bed with someone else. Somehow the Ayer Gel smeared all over my nose, Swift LT, and taped up mouth just seem too scary for another person! I do read here of many happy cpap couples, each with a machine on their side table....maybe that is the way to go. Sure many have encountered companions that have no problem accepting the therapy. Let us know how it goes!
Georgio
Seriously, I haven't crossed that bridge yet...and my instinct is that I am going to be very uncomfortable strapping on my mask in bed with someone else. Somehow the Ayer Gel smeared all over my nose, Swift LT, and taped up mouth just seem too scary for another person! I do read here of many happy cpap couples, each with a machine on their side table....maybe that is the way to go. Sure many have encountered companions that have no problem accepting the therapy. Let us know how it goes!
Georgio
DreamStation 2, Oscar
Resmed AirFit P30i Nasal Mask
Resmed AirFit P30i Nasal Mask
- yorkiemum01
- Posts: 377
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 6:45 pm
- Location: In the woods, (Lake Norman) NC
Re: Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
Thank you Georgio...for your honesty and candor...its so true!
We cpap-ers strap on our mask every evening w/o thought, simply its 'what
we do'.
Guess I'm worrying about nothing, but wanted to throw the topic
out, as feeling very out of my element in this subject matter.
All my family is on CPAP, (parents, brother) so I think nothing of the therapy.
It is, what is is...... I suppose is the answer to my own question.
We cpap-ers strap on our mask every evening w/o thought, simply its 'what
we do'.
Guess I'm worrying about nothing, but wanted to throw the topic
out, as feeling very out of my element in this subject matter.
All my family is on CPAP, (parents, brother) so I think nothing of the therapy.
It is, what is is...... I suppose is the answer to my own question.
_________________
Mask: Mirage Quattro™ Full Face CPAP Mask with Headgear |
Additional Comments: pressure is 11, began cpap tx 2/25/08. Also use Chiro-Flow Pillow. |
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. And remember - the richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.
Re: Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
I dunno, the nipple salve... possibilities. But seriously, the cpap has been a little less than great for intimacy. Especially the breeze from the vent. I would hope though by the time you are in the situation of having to let someone see you in it, they are exhausted and just happy to be there
Re: Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
So let me get this straight, Elader you are suggesting you wear them out so bad that they don't know what way is up....much less care about a cpap mask?
DreamStation 2, Oscar
Resmed AirFit P30i Nasal Mask
Resmed AirFit P30i Nasal Mask
Re: Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
What do you need a man for? You've got yorkies!
Get out there and do the stuff you love and be yourself. Your profile lists plenty of hobbies and activities that will allow you to meet people. Your family and friends may be glad to network a little. Be friendly, honest, and straightforward about what you're looking for without coming across needy or desperate. Shake hands. Look them in the eye. Don't play games, but be a little playful. And be careful out there. Especially watch out for those guys who ride motorcycles on the beach and admit they aren't nice guys!
(j/k Georgio.)
Get out there and do the stuff you love and be yourself. Your profile lists plenty of hobbies and activities that will allow you to meet people. Your family and friends may be glad to network a little. Be friendly, honest, and straightforward about what you're looking for without coming across needy or desperate. Shake hands. Look them in the eye. Don't play games, but be a little playful. And be careful out there. Especially watch out for those guys who ride motorcycles on the beach and admit they aren't nice guys!
(j/k Georgio.)
Re: Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
Try to remember, there are also 40 year old guys out there who would just give their eye teeth to meet someone who is just "real," honest, smart, and fun, and often wonder if there are any ladies left who fit that description. And when the time comes, the cpap stuff will surely be a curiosity but they'll be supportive. I'd say there's a good chance it'll make them wonder if they should be looking into it themselves.
Mike
Kansas City
Kansas City
Re: Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
Getting out there is definitely a strange thought! I'm a 41 year old man, never married. In retrospect, I think that sleep apnea has played a role in my single-ness.
I'm very protective of my sleep, so I have always had a real problem with women sleeping over. I think it's always lowered my libido too. And I was always tired, so I never went out and did things. Even social dating seemed like too much work.
Now that I'm getting treatment and starting to feel a little better, it's started me wondering about the future. Maybe I won't stay single?
As for CPAP in that future? The flat truth is that any woman that has a problem with me wearing a mask has no business in my life. Period. It's about being a healthy, happy, responsible adult. I think that a lot of people in their "second youth", find healthy, happy, responsible people attractive.
I'm very protective of my sleep, so I have always had a real problem with women sleeping over. I think it's always lowered my libido too. And I was always tired, so I never went out and did things. Even social dating seemed like too much work.
Now that I'm getting treatment and starting to feel a little better, it's started me wondering about the future. Maybe I won't stay single?
As for CPAP in that future? The flat truth is that any woman that has a problem with me wearing a mask has no business in my life. Period. It's about being a healthy, happy, responsible adult. I think that a lot of people in their "second youth", find healthy, happy, responsible people attractive.
_________________
Mask: Mirage Quattro™ Full Face CPAP Mask with Headgear |
Additional Comments: SPO PulseOx 7500. Range 10-12, A-Flex 3, Humi 1. Pad A Cheek Hose Cover (Blue w/Stars) over SleepZone Aussie Heated Hose. |
Re: Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
"watch out for those guys who ride motorcycles on the beach and admit they aren't nice guys! " JNK, thanks (as always) for supporting my "fictitious" apnea induced bad boy persona....lol.....!
All kidding aside, I look at it this way, at least now that I'm on cpap, I have the potential of dating, have the energy to do it, and hopefully will now live long enough to have such an experience. Without cpap, none of that was possible. And TSleepy, it sounds like life has really opened up anew for you......good thinking!
All kidding aside, I look at it this way, at least now that I'm on cpap, I have the potential of dating, have the energy to do it, and hopefully will now live long enough to have such an experience. Without cpap, none of that was possible. And TSleepy, it sounds like life has really opened up anew for you......good thinking!
DreamStation 2, Oscar
Resmed AirFit P30i Nasal Mask
Resmed AirFit P30i Nasal Mask
Re: Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
I do feel for ya... I can't imagine getting back into the dating pool nowadays. Still, a couple of random thoughts spring to mind...
First, let any potential significant others know about your apnea sooner rather than later. And when you do work that into a conversation, be sure you let them know how life-threatening apnea is (they probably are clueless), and how much better you are with a cpap than without. Any guy worth your attention will be understanding and supportive. If not, drop him. Fast.
Second, remember that that mask can come off real fast if the opportunity <ahem> arises in the middle of the night! Cuddling and spooning are certainly possible with one partner wearing a mask. Sorry if that was TMI, but this is the voice of experience talking .
Third, dating another cpaper would certainly make things easier... another would understand instantly and you would work out any problems together.
Finally, don't be in a hurry. There's a saying about things coming to you when you stop looking for them. Relax and enjoy your freedom. Go place and do things with friends, or on your own. Cultivate an enjoyment of your own company.
Good luck!
First, let any potential significant others know about your apnea sooner rather than later. And when you do work that into a conversation, be sure you let them know how life-threatening apnea is (they probably are clueless), and how much better you are with a cpap than without. Any guy worth your attention will be understanding and supportive. If not, drop him. Fast.
Second, remember that that mask can come off real fast if the opportunity <ahem> arises in the middle of the night! Cuddling and spooning are certainly possible with one partner wearing a mask. Sorry if that was TMI, but this is the voice of experience talking .
Third, dating another cpaper would certainly make things easier... another would understand instantly and you would work out any problems together.
Finally, don't be in a hurry. There's a saying about things coming to you when you stop looking for them. Relax and enjoy your freedom. Go place and do things with friends, or on your own. Cultivate an enjoyment of your own company.
Good luck!
Getting old doesn't make you 'forgetful'. Having too damn many things to remember makes you 'forgetful'.
Re: Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
I'm a bit older than some in this discussion, but single. At age 57, with several periods of my life lived hard, and quite a lot of years fighting health issues, me in my cpap mask is the least of my concerns about shocking a guy with!!
I know, never say never, but I doubt that issue is in my future. Figure I've met my man quota. But IF I should find myself in that situation, I hope I'll remember that if I am not comfortable enough with him to trust the mask won't change how he sees me, he has no business being in my bed at bedtime. But then again, I've become a tough old broad.
Not so long ago I would have had the same concerns as have been expressed. All I can say is, don't let the mask identify you. They will have decided how they view you long before they see you in your mask. Figure the issue could be a good "dud detector". Shoulda had my mask back then. Might have not met my quota so early.
Kathy
I know, never say never, but I doubt that issue is in my future. Figure I've met my man quota. But IF I should find myself in that situation, I hope I'll remember that if I am not comfortable enough with him to trust the mask won't change how he sees me, he has no business being in my bed at bedtime. But then again, I've become a tough old broad.
Not so long ago I would have had the same concerns as have been expressed. All I can say is, don't let the mask identify you. They will have decided how they view you long before they see you in your mask. Figure the issue could be a good "dud detector". Shoulda had my mask back then. Might have not met my quota so early.
Kathy
_________________
Mask: TAP PAP Nasal Pillow CPAP Mask with Improved Stability Mouthpiece |
Humidifier: S9™ Series H5i™ Heated Humidifier with Climate Control |
Additional Comments: Bleep/DreamPort for full nights, Tap Pap for shorter sessions |
My SleepDancing Video link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jE7WA_5c73c
-
- Posts: 252
- Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 1:14 am
- Location: Heart of the Blue Ridge
- Contact:
Re: Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
Being I am getting a CPAP within the next day or two, I ahve been investigating this myself.
I have talked to many couples and not one of them has said it has been a problem when the other has a mask.
I don't really understand this, but I do find it encouraging.
I have talked to many couples and not one of them has said it has been a problem when the other has a mask.
I don't really understand this, but I do find it encouraging.
The Honorable Thomas A. McKean, HOKC
Author, Soon Will Come the Light: A View From Inside the Autism Puzzle
http://www.thomasamckean.com http://www.gallery.thomasamckean.com
Author, Soon Will Come the Light: A View From Inside the Autism Puzzle
http://www.thomasamckean.com http://www.gallery.thomasamckean.com
- yorkiemum01
- Posts: 377
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 6:45 pm
- Location: In the woods, (Lake Norman) NC
Re: Dating...and cpap (off topic for most)
It does appear I am not alone at least......and I cant thank the gentlemen (jnk, ksmike, TSSleepy
and Biker boy Georgio, lol) enough for their kind and considerate answers. Guess just the idea of turning 40 had me feeling a bit down on myself, and I will take the great advice provided and just live life knowing God has something or
someone in store for me, placing it in his trusting hands, and enjoying my life and good health (and my family and
Yorkies!)
You have all made me feel better though, thank you.
PS. Just a visual for ya- Hard to picture a fella on his Harley on the beach wearing a cpap mask.
Cant judge a book by the cover. : )
and Biker boy Georgio, lol) enough for their kind and considerate answers. Guess just the idea of turning 40 had me feeling a bit down on myself, and I will take the great advice provided and just live life knowing God has something or
someone in store for me, placing it in his trusting hands, and enjoying my life and good health (and my family and
Yorkies!)
You have all made me feel better though, thank you.
PS. Just a visual for ya- Hard to picture a fella on his Harley on the beach wearing a cpap mask.
Cant judge a book by the cover. : )
_________________
Mask: Mirage Quattro™ Full Face CPAP Mask with Headgear |
Additional Comments: pressure is 11, began cpap tx 2/25/08. Also use Chiro-Flow Pillow. |
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. And remember - the richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.