For the over 50 Marrieds - Do you sleep separately?

Nodzy · Post by **Nodzy** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:26 pm

Hmmm... sleeping "coupled" seems a bit tough to achieve as I see it. But then, what would I know. It's been so long since I've had sex, that I can't remember whose job it is to polish the ceiling mirrors.

Nodzy

TXKajun · Post by **TXKajun** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:51 pm

Snoredog wrote:I seen this one today:

Menopause Jewelry

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood
ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.
When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f@#$%g red mark on his
forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
Dumb spleen..

Snoredog, ya owe me a new keyboard!! I was drinking coffee when I read your post.

Kajun

P.S,
I LOVED it!! Still ROFLMAO

MartiniLover · Post by **MartiniLover** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:14 pm

One bed. Three years on PAP.

Darntired · Post by **Darntired** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 8:00 pm

TXKajun wrote:
Snoredog wrote:I seen this one today:

Menopause Jewelry

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood
ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.
When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f@#$%g red mark on his
forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
Dumb spleen..
Snoredog, ya owe me a new keyboard!! I was drinking coffee when I read your post.

Kajun

P.S,
I LOVED it!! Still ROFLMAO

Darn it Snoredog, you owe me a keyboard too!! Maybe you should warn us sleepy hose heads that there is a joke on the horizon so we can prepare ourselves!!!

Bagell · Post by **Bagell** » Fri Jan 04, 2008 12:44 am

My DH and I have slept in the same bed for nearly 28 years, and until fairly recently in a double, not queen-size, bed. The last 4 years I've been on bi-pap and DH is super about it! He's like an alarm for me, in that if the mask comes off, it's "Honey, put your mask back on", or "you're leaking". And when I travel on business, he has a hard time sleeping without the sound of my machine! Beats my snoring, that's for sure!
Kathy

KenC · Post by **KenC** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 2:49 pm

For those of you who went the "seperate house" route, are their any good support forums like this one?

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:19 pm

Long long story that I won't bore everyone with but do a search with google.

A 1 and 1/2 ago my hubby decided I was "too old" (he is a year older than I am) and didn't "understand" him. He flew the coop and I found a really good support group -- but can't remember the name of it.

Long story short version he is back home now.

GrizzlyBear · Post by **GrizzlyBear** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:33 pm

Hiya, folks.

I'm seven years older than my partner (and mother of my two children) of 22 years. I am diabetic, a chronic depressive, have an enlarged prostate, suffer from sleep apnea and am on cpap, have had 5 major abdominal operations in the last 2 years (and have spent HUGE amounts of time off work, most of it on unpaid sick leave) AND we still share our bed.

From constant observation of friends, relatives, and those that pass by - I'm convinced it's just the luck of the draw.

Please don't think I'm being patronising or gloating - I really don't intend to be. I just want to wish those of you who have not been so lucky all the best in your search for happiness - after all, as I saw the Dalai Lama say once, the meaning of life is to be happy and useful - but he put happy first.

Keep up the search.

Regards,

Lucky GrizzlyBear

glfredrick · Post by **glfredrick** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:43 pm

I'm trying to decide if this is a sleep question or a marriage question...

I'm available for counseling if anyone needs it. (Actually, that's a part of what I do...)

In our own marriage (30 years) I knew it was time to get the sleep study when my wife fixed up the spare room "for company" of which we rarely see. Especially when I woke up that next morning and she was in there!

I got the hose -- she gets her sleep and we get to cuddle as much as we want. Never mind the rest, you bunch of dirty minded old folks...

KenC · Post by **KenC** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:55 pm

That was a marriage, or more precisely, a divorce question.

kteague · Post by **kteague** » Sun Jan 13, 2008 2:51 pm

Since I am not married at this point in life, I hadn't read this thread till now - wondered what was so interesting it had grown to 4 pages. My mother slept with my father's snoring all her life, so I probably wouldn't have considered it an option to sleep separately unless the years took their toll.

Late husband (#1) snored (stereotypical snorer - football player with thick neck) and I slept right thru it. But I was young and in love and I thought everything about him was cute. Had he lived and we stayed married, I might have got over that and found it less endearing. Funny, but he said I snored and I told that was just deep breathing.

Ex Husband (#2) (also referred to as "the parasite") also told me I snored. Since he lied about everything else, I figured he was lying about that too.

Ex Husband (#3) (the evil one ) said I snored and I didn't dare contradict him. But he would have never allowed separate sleeping arrangements. He would have slept worse if I wasn't pinned in the back of the bed against the wall so that if I got up he'd be awakened. He preferred being kept awake by snoring to maybe being harmed in his sleep.
That was nearly 25 years ago.

Since I've more than met my quota, I may never again be into a relationship so deep that I have to consider sleeping arrangements. But I would think it would be easier for me since whatever choice made would be the norm for us. I still think I would tend to be old school like my mother, but my sleep is so fragile, I'm not willing (or able) to compromise it. For couples who have been together a long time then come to the decision to sleep separately, surely there's some other emotions or implications that come into play. But I do have friends who say they've slept separately for years, one due to snoring, the other due to conflicting sleep patterns. The loving stable marriage wasn't phased by it, the tumultuous one continued to be so.

Kathy

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 11:14 am

My wife and I have been married 12 years. We lived together for 5 years prior to that.

I started to snore very loudly about 7 years ago. It was so bad that my wife would leave our bed and go to the extra bedroom. After a while, she started asking me to go to the other bedroom. Luckily, she stay on me about the snoring and I got tested. I've used CPAP for about 5 years.

We sleep in separate beds. The intimacy seemed a little less.

Last year, we sold our house and lived in an apartment while building a new house. We shared the same bed again. I noticed that the intimacy was just the same as when we slept in separate beds.

I suppose it is a product of age and length of the relationship. We really do like sleeping separately since our work schedules and evening TV favorites differ.

Since we discovered that whether sleeping together or not had no impact on intimacy, there is no longer a personal stigma to expressing that we sleep more restfully separately.

When we go on vacation, it is weird being forced to sleep in a strange bed, especially with someone else.

I think the feelings we all have about couples sleeping in the same bed have more to do with our upbringing and norms that it really does with the health or detrioration of the relationship.

Mask

Additional Comments: Pressure = 16!!!

For the over 50 Marrieds - Do you sleep separately?

Sleeping arrangements