For the over 50 Marrieds - Do you sleep separately?

Babette Who Can't Login · Post by **Babette Who Can't Login** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:58 am

Just curious - How do some of you older CPAPers who are married handle separate sleeping arrangements? I'm on this kick to get my parents to sleep separately, because I'm tired of their fighting about who wakes up who. Getting Dad on CPAP is meeting VERY HIGH resistance - if you knew all of his medical history, you'd understand why ONE MORE THING is putting them over the edge - and I can't seem to talk Mom into taking Benadryl or Melatonin herself.

So, I'm thinking of encouraging to move to separte bedrooms.

So, tell me, you who have opted to separate the beds, how is your life? Do you find yourselves fighting less about the poor sleep? Do you find yourselves fighting less period because you're both getting good sleep? Do you find yourselves maybe MORE inclined toward romance, now that you're well-rested (My suspicion)?

Many thanks!
Babette/Barbara

Goofproof · Post by **Goofproof** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:14 am

Separate Bedrooms, necessary, due to special problems. In my idea, not a very good reason to be married. Almost 25 years now, half of a wasted lifetime. Jim

THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Compromise: An amiable arrangement
between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way

6PtStar · Post by **6PtStar** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:17 am

Of course not! She listened to me snore for to many years and now I listen to her snore. After living together 44 years we quit argueing 20 years ago, desided it did not do any good.

P.S. She always won anyway!

Jerry

Slinky · Post by **Slinky** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:19 am

Nope, we don't sleep separately. Altho I was giving it serious consideration due to hubby outweighing me by about 70 lbs. Instead I bought a new queen size mattress/spring set. Since "I" started CPAP HIS snoring doesn't keep me awake anymore. I've done all I can to get him to go in for a sleep study, including bringing an ApneaLink home for him to PROVE to him how bad his sleep and snoring is. Didn't work. He would NOT try it. So - I've done all I can. Yep, I'll still work at trying to get him in to a sleep study, but I'm NOT going to tear myself up about it if he won't or until he does. Some things, we just have to accept.

JeffH · Post by **JeffH** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:19 am

I'm not married, but we have lived together for over ten years, (the first year or two before I got on cpap) and the solution was foam ear plugs (the kind that look like candy corn). We buy them by the industrial box size. I think there are 200 pair in a box. We both wear them for about a week a pair and then get new ones. The box last a couple of years that way. We are on at least the fourth or fifth box. Cost is between $25 and $35.

There's you a cheap solution...LOL.

JeffH

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:36 am

Well lets see -- how do I answer this tough one?

We have been married 35 years. He is out of town usually 5 or 6 nights a week due to his work schedule and I sleep alone. When he is in town we share the same bed. So I guess you could say I have it both ways.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:42 am

Jeff, good idea! I'll try that on her. Though, as Jerry and GoofProof pointed out, SHE thinks HE should solve the problem...

Carol, sounds like you DO have the best of both worlds!!! I keep hoping for a man like that, but you, if I had him, I'd probably complain about him not being around enough...

Thanks!!!!
Barbara

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:56 am

Since my sleep study and cpap usage I have tried convincing him HE needs a sleep study. He says he is just fine -- too many hours at work. When he is home he naps between 2 and 4 hours at a time. I have seen him take a nap in the morning, get up for lunch, go back to bed and sleep some more and still be ready for bed when night comes.

Snores like a freight train (we live by the railroad tracks and believe me he can rival the trains at times). He can go to sleep while I am talking to him (THAT might be the good old selective hearing problem though). Blankets and sheets are a mess in the morning from him thrashing around.

He is one stubborn old coot though and won't admit to having a problem. MIght be that he is afraid if he FINDS out he does have it might mean problems at work as he drives for a living and is a heavy equipment operator. He hauls the equipment to where ever the company needs it and then operates it once it is there, loads it back up and brings it back.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:59 am

Carol - He's right. He could very well lose his job. The only way you might be able to talk him into this is doing it under the radar of his work-sponsored health plan.

Can you borrow an APAP from somewhere? If so, and you manage a "self titration" can you afford about $750 to buy one from CPAP.com?

He can't go in and get a sleep study without risking the insurance reporting same to his employer. My study cost around $15,000.00. So....

Any chance you can move him to YOUR insurance for this?

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
Barbara

nosbig17 · Post by **nosbig17** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 12:02 pm

Been sleeping together for almost 50 years.

Our sleep improved about 20 years ago when we got a Select Comfort bed (with dual air chambers).

Our sleep improved even more going on 12 years ago when I went on the hose.

Let's face it, some couples have (and or want?) a verbally combative relationship. MYOB might be in order!

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 12:15 pm

Babs,

I have tried getting him to try my machine out as I have an APAP but he won't have any part of it!!! Says no way he is going to be hooked to a machine -- claims he couldn't sleep looking like an alien or creature from another planet. I tell him I DON"T care HOW I look as I just want to feel better!! I think some people just like to complain and whine without making any changes. He is good about that -- wants sympathy but keeps doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

I am on his insurance plan to save on cost as where I work we have to pay the full premium with only $200 paid by the company (our cost would be right at $1000 per month for both of us). He is union and so that is one of the benefits he gets so virtually no cost to us for the insurance.

dieselgal · Post by **dieselgal** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 12:22 pm

[quote="Anonymous"]

He can't go in and get a sleep study without risking the insurance reporting same to his employer. My study cost around $15,000.00. So....

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
Barbara

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 12:24 pm

Well Carol, you may be fighting a losing battle there, then.

What does "MYOB" mean?

And yes, I do believe my mother was raised in a verbally abusive household, and she feels that things MUST be that way. I have a little bit of that tendency myself - ask my numerous ex-boyfriends..

Cheers,
Babs

dieselgal · Post by **dieselgal** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 12:29 pm

I forgot to say that my husband and I sleep together and I prefer that but with our King size sleep number it is almost like separate beds!
I would not want to sleep in a separate room but if either of us snored like a jack hammer and wouldn't seek help to quieten the problem I might change my mind.

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 12:30 pm

MYOB means to mind your own business.

I don't always agree to that philosophy and am more like you Babs I think (I tend to find it hard to mind my own business when others health is concerned).

Mask

Additional Comments: Equipment isn't correct, S9 ASV w/H5i

For the over 50 Marrieds - Do you sleep separately?

For the over 50 Marrieds - Do you sleep separately?

Sounds like a personal problem!!!