spouse of CPAP user - very cranky if he is without

[my2bratts2407]

My big question here is... does every CPAP wearer just about go crazy if something happens to their mask/machine and they have to sleep without it for one night? I called him Linus tonight and walked away angry b/c his mask broke and he becomes belligerent and FOUL... like he's lost his security blanket! He's almost a 10 year CPAP veteran... [/b]

I would really REALLY be interested in the opinions of other cpap users and/or their spouses on the 'security blanket' issue. I take this machine use seriously but for one night?? when the fix is impossible?? to be so beside themselves??

Thanks all. I am a first time visitor as a CPAP spouse![/img]

[CRMW]

If I try to sleep without the CPAP, I end up trashed. Even from a nap, its worse than a hangover. If I found out that I couldn't use CPAP and I could do nothing about it except anticipate it, I would definetly be in a bad mood. I have spares of most of the equipment and want a second machine just to avoid the possibility of having to sleep without it.

Chris

[bdp522]

It isn't so much a security blanket as it is a life line. If he were diabetic and ran out of insulin, or if he needed an oxygen tank to breathe and it ran out, would you be more sympathetic?
I have invested in extra masks, hoses, machine, even extra padacheeks, and pur-sleep. My backup machine has battery power. I don't want to ever go even 1 night without.
Without this treatment I wake gasping for air, my heart starts beating irregularly, I get headaches, I am totally exhausted the next day. My sleep apnea is classified as mild. I'm sure someone with more severe OSA would have it much worse. Having a heart attack or stroke is not out of the question.
Instead of being upset with him, help him build up a stock of spare masks and mask parts, a spare hose, and even a spare machine(even a simple one, or used one for use in a pinch).

Brenda

[differentdave]

Your hubby has been doing something every night of his life for 10 years and then all of a sudden one night he is not. That's pratically a free pass for attitutde time in my house.
Do me a favor dont do your hair or make-up today and see if you're in the same mood as if you did do hair/make-up.
Forget about the part that this is a medical device used to treat a medical condition.

[Sleepdeprived]

Please try to be patient with him. You have no idea what it is like to wake up gasping for breath.

Its not a security blanket its a life saver

Sleepdeprived




[quote="my2bratts2407"]My big question here is... does every CPAP wearer just about go crazy if something happens to their mask/machine and they have to sleep without it for one night? I called him Linus tonight and walked away angry b/c his mask broke and he becomes belligerent and FOUL... like he's lost his security blanket! He's almost a 10 year CPAP veteran... [/b]

I would really REALLY be interested in the opinions of other cpap users and/or their spouses on the 'security blanket' issue. I take this machine use seriously but for one night?? when the fix is impossible?? to be so beside themselves??

Thanks all. I am a first time visitor as a CPAP spouse![/img]

[Wulfman]

Go to CPAP.COM and order him some spares of whatever he uses as Christmas presents so he won't be "without" if something breaks......that way, YOU won't have to worry about HIM being in that mood again.

And, what everybody else said.....

Den

[catbirdgirl]

I'm sorry, but calling him Linus was out of line. Picture if you had something that made you feel HORRIBLE if you didn't do it. Like, unable to function if you didn't take your vitamins or whatever. Then you are out of whatever it is and cannot cannot get more when you need it. And you know you'll feel horrible for tomorrow and longer if you don't.

I couldn't sleep with my machine for 2 days due to a cold, and I had to call in sick because I had a headache, grogginess, achy bones, exhaustion, etc. Not from the cold, from not sleeping and snoring!

[jabberwock]

It has been my experience that most negative emotional reactions (including anger) are based on fears. Many people find it easier to express anger than fear. Consider that your husbands reaction to being unable to use his CPAP was fear of the real possibility of heart attack, stroke or even death, and/or the certainty of waking up tired and achy.

When people with sleep apnea have a heart attack, stroke or die in their sleep, I understand that it is possibly the result of just one apnea that goes on a little too long and deprives the body/brain of oxygen just long enough to do damage. If this is true, and it happens to occur on the one night when your husband is not able to use his CPAP, the result would be the same. It wouldn't matter if he had not used CPAP for one year or one night.

Bonnie

[jjposey]

My six year old had 3 friends sleep over last Friday night. Since 2 of them had never made it through the night at someone else's home I decided the Darth Vader look might just do them in!
It is a week later and I'm finally feeling recovered from that one night.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but I have an unsupportive spouse.
The phrase "that thing is ruining our marriage" comes up anytime he is the least bit cranky.
Please don't be that kind of spouse.
It makes using a cpap, and life in general very difficult.
(IMHO) Our CPAPs are something that we are dependent on. It's not a security blanket!
Be prepared to put up with a grump for a few days. It will get better. I've only been on cpap 10 months and I felt horrible for almost a week after one night without it. I can't imagine after 10 good years what I would feel like without it.
Sorry if I seemed harsh. (Maybe I'm still a little grumpy!)

[FirstTimer]

I can feel for your husband. I was on a bus trip with some people to see a
hockey game. After the game everyone was sleeping. I tried to sleep. I just could not fall to sleep. With out my mask & machine. I was afraid to sleep that night. So I can feel for your husband. He need's to have back-ups for this problem.

[tedanderson]

I can understand why someone would be cranky (if not frantic) about not having the use of the machine. It's not just life-saving but it is also a quality of life issue. I personally have had instances where I was at a friend's house late at where I preferred to drive home tired in lieu of crashing on their sofa because getting 3-4 hours of "good" sleep beats an entire night of apnea sleep any day of the week.

It's kind of funny how I equate the use of my CPAP to recharging my cell phone. If I don't plug it in at night, I am going to get "low battery" warnings all day long and the phone won't work as well as it does on a full charge. When I accidentally fall asleep without putting on my mask, I feel cranky and sluggish the whole day and I am not back to normal until I had a chance to "plug-in" and recharge my body.

[Sundown]

I wouldn't sleep one night without my cpap. If I had to run to a Medical Supply Store and buy one out-of-pocket that morning, I would. I would find a way. I already have a back-up mask in case I get a cold.... no way would I ever ever be able to sleep without my cpap... oh h*ll no!!!

I called him Linus tonight and walked away angry b/c his mask broke and he becomes belligerent and FOUL... like he's lost his security blanket! He's almost a 10 year CPAP veteran...

Bottom Line... your husband is not cranky.. he is worried. Imagine someone holding a goose-down pillow over your face partially so you cannot breath normally. It feels like crap.

[JeffH]

[quote="my2bratts2407"]My big question here is... does every CPAP wearer just about go crazy if something happens to their mask/machine and they have to sleep without it for one night? I called him Linus tonight and walked away angry b/c his mask broke and he becomes belligerent and FOUL... like he's lost his security blanket! He's almost a 10 year CPAP veteran... [/b]

I would really REALLY be interested in the opinions of other cpap users and/or their spouses on the 'security blanket' issue. I take this machine use seriously but for one night?? when the fix is impossible?? to be so beside themselves??

Thanks all. I am a first time visitor as a CPAP spouse![/img]

[Snoredog]

[quote="my2bratts2407"]My big question here is... does every CPAP wearer just about go crazy if something happens to their mask/machine and they have to sleep without it for one night? I called him Linus tonight and walked away angry b/c his mask broke and he becomes belligerent and FOUL... like he's lost his security blanket! He's almost a 10 year CPAP veteran... [/b]

I would really REALLY be interested in the opinions of other cpap users and/or their spouses on the 'security blanket' issue. I take this machine use seriously but for one night?? when the fix is impossible?? to be so beside themselves??

Thanks all. I am a first time visitor as a CPAP spouse![/img]

[Guest]

That was a little harsh Snoredog. The spouse doens't understand the therapy and what the negative effects are for not having it. Instead of critizing her why not explian all the negative effects so that if this happens agian she might be a little more understanding.