Hi Liam,
Nice shoes you wore to Florida. Ever notice you're the only one wearing them. Same thing when you croak, they seem to bury people one at a time and you're the only one in that over priced box.
Point is, you can get all kinds of help, on this forum for sure, but especially from your doctor. In the end it's up to you. You can piss ass around all you want feeling sorry for yourself or finding excuses why this isn't working, but really, you are the only one affected. Just remember though, if you cannot look after yourself, how good a job are you doing looking after those you care about. And how much better could you make your's and their lives if you got your act together.
Don't have a pissy fit - just do it!
You are a lot more with it than me and have certainly provided help and encouragement for myself and obviously others. The only thing I can offer is a personal and rather odd observation I have made since donning the mask last January.
Before the mask, when I went to bed I thought about various scenarios where I was the centre of attraction and eventually drifted off to sleep. This usually involved me rescuing people in odd ball situations such as freezing to death on mountains rescuing them at sea etc. Must have made me feel good or whatever as I finally got to sleep and never did get to the end of the story.
Since the mask I have not done this at all. Try to through force of habit, but seem to block it out right away. Not sure what's happening but it seems the mask and all, re-focuses me and and I only recognize the sound of my own breathing and this is my main thought pattern. Most times I seem to go right to sleep but sometimes lay awake for some time wondering what I should think about to go to sleep. Cannot seem to carry a thought pattern that allows me to relax and sleep and therefore stay awake. Finally just drift off.
Sounds goofy I know, but am wondering if you may be a little hyper trying to go to sleep. With the mask you just don't know what to do with yourself and thus simply lay awake trying to figure it out.
My only suggestion is don't seek perfection or even major strides for some time. Just live with it and accept it, how bad can can pure filtered humidified air be for you? Did you ever go trick or treating and wear a halloween mask when you were a kid? Had a great time right? This is same thing and who knows, you may still get a trick or a treat!
Really hope you can make this work.
Bob F
P.S. - did a spell check and the only word not accepted was "pissy", they did suggest "pussy" so use whatever word that works best for you.
Discouraged...
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wading thru the muck!
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rock and roll
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WOW Bob F,
You encapsulated a LOT
This can be advise for a great many people and not just Liam and it can be great advise in many other matters other than SA but very applicable here. Good job and well said!
You encapsulated a LOT
This can be advise for a great many people and not just Liam and it can be great advise in many other matters other than SA but very applicable here. Good job and well said!
Liam, you joined the forum a little after me. I am FINALLY starting to get better. It's taken a long time.
It took me two weeks before I could sleep with the mask at all. Then I could sleep for an hour or two. I couldn't sleep more than three because my nose would close off. I had the turbinate reduction procedure, but it didn't help.
Finally, I bit the bullet and got a full face mask. I hated the idea because I am a bit claustrophobic. I got the Ultra Mirage FF because it has the anti-asphyxiation valve and it has clips that make it very easy to remove. I would sometimes have to struggle to remove the ComfortFull mask which is bad if you are already claustrophobic.
I had to learn to love my mask. I had to learn to look at it and say, "This is my friend and will make me well."
I often woke up to find I had removed the mask and had no memory whatsoever of doing so. I put a shoebox over the unit and stuck velcro stickers on the shoebox and machine. To shut off the machine I would now have to undo the velcro first. That has helped me to not turn it off without remembering though it still happens sometimes.
I look at the leaks every morning. If it is too high, I adjust the mask. It took over a week to get it adjusted right. I didn't think leaks were waking me up, but I noticed that the more it leaked, the more likely I was to wake up.
I got used to the idea that I must sleep all the time with the machine. I used to take it off at 6AM figuring that it wouldn't be so bad if I slept without it for an hour or two. It turns out it is. I tend to dream a lot during those last few hours and apneas are more common during dream sleep.
I used to be able to sleep only on my right side with the mask. Now I can sleep on either side.
Over the last two weeks I have slept at least four hours per night with the machine and I slept over six the last two nights. I am finally starting to feel better.
You have to make that mask your best friend. You have to figure out how to relax and fall asleep. I sometimes tense up my neck and face muscles. If I just let them relax, I fall asleep in no time.
My pressure was 4.0-9.0. My doc wants me to raise it to 6.0-12.0. I might do that later, but I'd rather get comfortable with the machine first.
It took me two weeks before I could sleep with the mask at all. Then I could sleep for an hour or two. I couldn't sleep more than three because my nose would close off. I had the turbinate reduction procedure, but it didn't help.
Finally, I bit the bullet and got a full face mask. I hated the idea because I am a bit claustrophobic. I got the Ultra Mirage FF because it has the anti-asphyxiation valve and it has clips that make it very easy to remove. I would sometimes have to struggle to remove the ComfortFull mask which is bad if you are already claustrophobic.
I had to learn to love my mask. I had to learn to look at it and say, "This is my friend and will make me well."
I often woke up to find I had removed the mask and had no memory whatsoever of doing so. I put a shoebox over the unit and stuck velcro stickers on the shoebox and machine. To shut off the machine I would now have to undo the velcro first. That has helped me to not turn it off without remembering though it still happens sometimes.
I look at the leaks every morning. If it is too high, I adjust the mask. It took over a week to get it adjusted right. I didn't think leaks were waking me up, but I noticed that the more it leaked, the more likely I was to wake up.
I got used to the idea that I must sleep all the time with the machine. I used to take it off at 6AM figuring that it wouldn't be so bad if I slept without it for an hour or two. It turns out it is. I tend to dream a lot during those last few hours and apneas are more common during dream sleep.
I used to be able to sleep only on my right side with the mask. Now I can sleep on either side.
Over the last two weeks I have slept at least four hours per night with the machine and I slept over six the last two nights. I am finally starting to feel better.
You have to make that mask your best friend. You have to figure out how to relax and fall asleep. I sometimes tense up my neck and face muscles. If I just let them relax, I fall asleep in no time.
My pressure was 4.0-9.0. My doc wants me to raise it to 6.0-12.0. I might do that later, but I'd rather get comfortable with the machine first.
Sad Liam,
Have you ever tried nasal pillows? I know they're even goofier looking than a mask, but they did the trick for me when I couldn't stand the mask.
Hang in there buddy.
Be happy.
Have you ever tried nasal pillows? I know they're even goofier looking than a mask, but they did the trick for me when I couldn't stand the mask.
Hang in there buddy.
Be happy.
Liam,
sleep apnea is by itself very discouraging, but it sounds like you have reason to be EN-couraged. A new machine that will enable you to monitor your treatment and progress is a great step. (A step I look forward to taking soon myself.)
We know untreated OSA causes depression, and makes it worse for people already depressed. What came first, the OSA or the depression is a question many of us have, since OSA can go undiagnosed for so long....
I salute and envy the people who can feel better immediately with their first mask and blower, but many of us have to struggle through multiple machines, pressures, masks & interfaces to get this thing right. That struggle is added weight upon the depressed that is hard to take. But we gotta do it. There really is no alternative to finding the treatment that will work for you. Keeping that airway open when you sleep is a matter of life and death. We owe it to ourselves and to the ones close to us who have to live with our OSA altered behavior.
Congratulations on your new APAP! A few years ago there were no APAPs. Not that long ago there were no CPAPs. At least we have these treatment options available and forums like this to help us find our way through them.
Just the fact that we're on this forum shows we've passed the biggest hurdle to overcoming OSA: we know what has been messing up our lives and we can actively pursue treatment.
good luck.
sleep apnea is by itself very discouraging, but it sounds like you have reason to be EN-couraged. A new machine that will enable you to monitor your treatment and progress is a great step. (A step I look forward to taking soon myself.)
We know untreated OSA causes depression, and makes it worse for people already depressed. What came first, the OSA or the depression is a question many of us have, since OSA can go undiagnosed for so long....
I salute and envy the people who can feel better immediately with their first mask and blower, but many of us have to struggle through multiple machines, pressures, masks & interfaces to get this thing right. That struggle is added weight upon the depressed that is hard to take. But we gotta do it. There really is no alternative to finding the treatment that will work for you. Keeping that airway open when you sleep is a matter of life and death. We owe it to ourselves and to the ones close to us who have to live with our OSA altered behavior.
Congratulations on your new APAP! A few years ago there were no APAPs. Not that long ago there were no CPAPs. At least we have these treatment options available and forums like this to help us find our way through them.
Just the fact that we're on this forum shows we've passed the biggest hurdle to overcoming OSA: we know what has been messing up our lives and we can actively pursue treatment.
good luck.
_________________
| Mask: Swift™ FX Nasal Pillow CPAP Mask with Headgear |
| Additional Comments: RemStar BiPAP AutoSV model #104016 |