You can't scare me!

neversleeps · Post by **neversleeps** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:00 pm

While looking for information about my recent diagnosis
I happened upon this forum and developed quite a neurosis.
(Admittedly, finding you was a nice surprise,
but man oh man, I can’t believe my eyes!!!)

So far I’ve read about hooking up hoses,
seeing red dents on the bridges of noses,
literally taping your own mouth shut at night,
(I must admit that one gave me quite a fright...)

Sensations of an exploding stomach,
watching oxygen levels plummet,
covering plastic hoses in fleece,
“Should I buy or should I lease?”

Vivid discussions on the shape of your nares,
sticky electrodes pulling out hairs,
ringing of ears,
whistling blowers,
cyborg-masked beasts,
self-adjusting air flow-ers......

Here I must stop to catch my breath; no pun intended,
and reveal soon I too, hope to be CPAP- mended.
As I await the arrival of my REMstarAutoCPAPwithC-Flexandheatedhumidifier with great anticipation,
I feel I must add a comment. (More of a proclamation...)
--If I find my air stale or perhaps somewhat smelly,
--If I’m considering lining my nostrils with KY Jelly,
--I know I can turn to this forum and pick your brain,
--although quite possibly you’re all completely insane!

LDuyer · Post by **LDuyer** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:24 pm

How wondefully clever!

Does cpaptalk now have a poet laureat?

Wow.
Wish I could write like that!

Linda, who can't write worth a dang.

Wuzer · Post by **Wuzer** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:45 pm

Awesome! Set that to music and call it the "Sleep Apnea Anthem"

Janelle · Post by **Janelle** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:46 pm

Insane, say you?
Would you give us a clue?
Blondes and brunettes, we have quite a few.
But airheads and hoseheads are more often in view.

LDuyer · Post by **LDuyer** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:54 pm

Watch out, neversleeps!

Janelle is giving you competition!

Maybe we can offer some sort of sleep apnea poet award.
"SAP" award?
Well, maybe not.

Linda, who is the only sap here

Liam1965 · Post by **Liam1965** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:05 pm

A poet through our chat board creeps,
calling himself "never sleeps"
he wrote a few lines
of humor so fine
now he's off in his bed counting sheeps.

An egomaniacal Liam
Was entertained just to see 'im
but couldn't let rest
another being best
when writing is also his dream.

Liam, who figures it's OK to pronounced Dream as two syllables. After all, there are two vowels.

LDuyer · Post by **LDuyer** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:08 pm

I KNEW it!!
Our Liam is also a poet!

Shall we give Liam the forum member "SAP" Award??

Linda, who will likely get into trouble for that one

Liam1965 · Post by **Liam1965** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:12 pm

Nah. I prefer the humor essays. I've always been pretty good at putting together really stupid limericks and stuff, things that have approximately correct meter and rhyme, but it's drivel.

Give the nod to neversleeps, his (I'm assuming again, might be hers) was clearly better.

Liam, grumpy, but not because of anything on cpaptalk.

LDuyer · Post by **LDuyer** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:14 pm

I hope Neversleeps reveals more about him or her self.
Clever people should not go anonymously unto the night.

Linda, she waxed.....

Liam1965 · Post by **Liam1965** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:20 pm

LDuyer wrote:Linda, she waxed.....

Sounds painful, but at least you don't have to worry about it growing back for a few weeks.

Liam, he naired.

(Hmmmm. Wonder if that's too obscure, Nair being a depilatory and a homophone for nare, the opening of the nostril.)

neversleeps · Post by **neversleeps** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:53 pm

My gosh I was right!
You are all insane!
Liam, I'm a female
and my writing's inane.

You are the author
to whom I must demure,
for all who read this
know I'm full of manure.

Until this night, I did not write verse
but with words like hoses and noses
my mind grew perverse,
so I started to write and then just kept going
and suddenly all of the words started flowing.

I can't keep this up, as I'm sure you can tell
it's gone on too long, and is annoying as

...all get-out.

Liam1965 · Post by **Liam1965** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:55 pm

I just KNEW if we waited long enough, Theo Geisel (otherwise known as Dr. Seuss) would reincarnate.

Nice job again!

Liam, proud to know that Dr. Seuss was an alum of Dartmouth College, right near where he (Liam) lives.

LDuyer · Post by **LDuyer** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 9:01 pm

Cool, Neversleeps!!

Thanks for registering as a forum member. Hope you continue to post, and to wow us with your writing. You've already wowed Liam, and he's fussy!! (is he watching?)

More! We want More!

Linda, who is in the presence of greatness

neversleeps · Post by **neversleeps** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 9:07 pm

Thanks for the welcome.

Theo Geisel? I prefer to think of myself as a sort of misguided Charlotte Bronte.... or maybe a warped Emily Dickinson....

LDuyer · Post by **LDuyer** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 9:13 pm

neversleeps wrote:Thanks for the welcome.

Theo Geisel? I prefer to think of myself as a sort of misguided Charlotte Bronte.... or maybe a warped Emily Dickinson....

You and Liam --- two peas from different pods?

I'll be watching for more fine creativity to read!

Linda

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