They Tell Me I Need This Machine

[Gasper62]

Great News about sleeping a bit!
.

Oh Yes ! - I owe this community - I didn't think it possible
& I will try that trick you suggest !

----------------------------------------------------

Think of it as if you were watching someone constantly swinging their leg up and down
in front of you... likely unaware of even doing it, but how crazy it drove everyone else
watching while they were trying to concentrate on other things.

Keep in mind,
as a synesthete, you are the only one doing the tasting - apparently no one else here.

Japanese proverb: "It is the nail that sticks out..... that gets hammered down"
Meditate on that concept a while.... next time you're in the woods.

I will THINK on these THINGS - & torment you good people no further for now

I will Hook-UP in a bit - and wish US ALL pleasant dreams for this coming Night
.................... even for our Palerider whom I seem most to have offended -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcmsoYLjVXk

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Re Synesthesia - A Blessed Curse - A Cursed Blessing
I will say this & then I will speak no more of it
I will try to find ways to mitigate the bother it causes you

BUT
It is the way I THINK - the way I PERCEIVE
Words are NOT just Words - Sounds are NOT just Sounds
Even Shapes, Size, Intensities, are all pregnant with Felt Meanings

In an unfiltered reality the sensory modalities are Combined
Unitary/Mixed - PARADOXICAL - & they come at you like that -
When I speak or write I can't be trying to filter things out - to be separating them
When I speak the Synesthetic experience is mine - When I write it becomes to some
........................................................................ small extent - HARD COPY

It is One of the reasons -
That whenever I - 'quote' - or post - I have keep the lines Short


I'll tell you this - When I was in school I had one Hell of a time - I got hammered a Lot

.

Tis truly odd that your first postings to this group exhibited not nearly as much foolishness, (just ridiculous rants, etc.) the idea to act bizarrely seems to have occurred to you only recently. I guess it's not really a constant, integral part of your make-up. Drama and theatrics seem far more likely to me. I am not finding it amusing nor is it appreciated. (not for my part at least) Welcome to the Bozo/Foe list, you've really earned it. Read up on group member "Enchanter". He craved a lot of attention too. He ultimately became a disliked pariah in the process IMO.

[palerider]

.................... even for our Palerider whom I seem most to have offended -

Welcome to the Bozo/Foe list, you've really earned it.

someone explain to dingbat, or wingdings or whatever he's styling himself as this hour, that the only time I see his crap is when someone unfortunately quotes it.... *shudder*
and, gee, thanks for that, Gasper

[Omne]

Oh Yes ! - I owe this community - I didn't think it possible
& I will try that trick you suggest !

----------------------------------------------------

The main problem is that, especially when tired or at the end of a long day, the mismatched text sizes and colors are jarring. While you may be going for that effect, for many it's simply easier to skip reading that paragraph. We don't mind putting thought in and working on solutions but most of us really don't want to have to work to even read the post.

Path of least resistance. A few caps isn't going to be a problem but words with each letter a different color or capital letters in different font sizes in the same sentence just require more concentration than they should.

It may not seem fair but you are the one asking for assistance so the form of the request is pretty much up to whomever you're asking. We're find helping, just make a a little easier.

[ckeith]

.

Sorry for the problems & discomfort I caused

Thank You all for getting me on the road to recovery
.......................................... I really mean that

So it seems pretty well Unanimous then - You can RELAX
This particular "Disliked Pariah" will no longer darken your Door
........................... No need for you to clutter up you FOE lists

I do hope that life does not challenge you, to often or to uncomfortably
.......................... Creating Ripples on your Sea of conventional Bliss

God forbid that you should have to be bothered, tolerating anyone or anything 'Out of the Ordinary '

.

.

[JudyB]

To "Quote" -- maybe someone else has already suggested this, but here it is anyway. What is the air pressure at which your CPAP is set? I believe 20 lbs. is the maximum (and on my ResMed machine, it has to be set by the doctor or therapist). My pulmonologist set it at 20 lbs. when I began using a CPAP -- I could not get ANY sleep at all. I had bubbles coming into my mouth (was using a full-face mask at the time) and finally out of the corner of my eye. I kept suggesting that the pressure was too high, and after a few weeks he set it to 10 lbs., and I could sleep at last! But neither he nor anyone in his office or in my equipment supplier's office had any helpful knowledge. I finally switched to a different hospital's sleep apnea person, with better results. Unfortunately, you must be aggressive in your own treatment (which you are doing by complaining!)
Judy Bj

[Sylvia54]

The anger no doubt comes from LACK of SLEEP - I get no more than 2hrs at a stretch - Many nights
that's ALL I get - Try that for a month or two and see what that does for your disposition.

Actually I did it for years and years. It sucks. The problem with getting mad is that it doesn't change anything. I know what it's like to be angry at my own mind and trying to understand why my mind was sabotaging my body and health by not sleeping. No matter how angry I got I never got an answer. That was many years ago and I finally gave up on the anger.

I was diagnosed with apnea three months ago while in for a sleep study on periodic limb movement. I hadn't even considered apnea, as with a lot of the public I thought it meant that I had to be overweight and had to completely stop breathing at times. Turns out weight didn't matter for me and I have more hypopneas than anything else. My O2 dropped to 80% during the study and when I tested it out a little while back without the mask it dropped in the 70s several times during the night.

But how I felt waking up from those good nights makes me want to keep trying.

Depending on the medications you take I would ask your doctor about Ambien or Lunesta. I've found that Lunesta helps me stay asleep longer and when I do wake up it's easier to get back to sleep. I take Ambien, Lunesta and Ativan every night and have for at least 10 years. I'm not suggesting that, I'm an oddity and my psychiatrists have to keep doing written explanations to their boards when they give me my prescriptions.

.


Your story is similar to mine, where the insomnia was relentless with no root cause answers from doctors, just the bandaid fix of writing prescriptions.
Sleep clinic was never brought up since I'm a small person with a small neck size and didn't complain of waking up gasping for air. However, I do have insulin sensitivity and in the last year, my blood pressure was gradually rising. I have osteopenia too and from what I've read, all this can be caused by sleep apnea. For me, the sleeping pills they prescribed didn't work (or not for long) but clonazepam does help me sleep longer, even with taking it sparingly. A neurologist prescribed me that 2 yrs ago for restless legs and jerking awake. But you suffered from insomnia (with no answers) much longer than I have. I don't know how you kept your sanity. My sleep would suddenly get closer to normal off and on, that's what helped me keep my sanity.
I hope cpap therapy heals your nervous system so you can sleep again without those drugs.
Maybe it will take years to gain back your normal sleep. I still take alittle of the clonazepam every night and hope I can taper off this year.

[LSAT]

To "Quote" -- maybe someone else has already suggested this, but here it is anyway. What is the air pressure at which your CPAP is set? I believe 20 lbs. is the maximum (and on my ResMed machine, it has to be set by the doctor or therapist). My pulmonologist set it at 20 lbs. when I began using a CPAP -- I could not get ANY sleep at all. I had bubbles coming into my mouth (was using a full-face mask at the time) and finally out of the corner of my eye. I kept suggesting that the pressure was too high, and after a few weeks he set it to 10 lbs., and I could sleep at last! But neither he nor anyone in his office or in my equipment supplier's office had any helpful knowledge. I finally switched to a different hospital's sleep apnea person, with better results. Unfortunately, you must be aggressive in your own treatment (which you are doing by complaining!)
Judy Bj

To be aggressive with your own therapy, you need to understand your machine and download Sleepyhead software. That way you can monitor your therapy and make your own pressure adjustments if necessary. Most Doctors who treat sleep apnea, do not understand how the machines work or what adjustments to make.

[chunkyfrog]

All facade; but no substance.
Nothing special about this . . . THING.

[Lucyhere]

Like the girls in junior high, whose cursive writing was wannabe calligraphy,
their lives were all the same--all pretense and facade; but no substance.
I never attended a class reunion, sincerely believing that among the lot of them,
one would not find so much ns a thimbleful of real class; but instead,
a collection of shapeless, alcoholic blobs.

What in the world does this nonsense have to do with this thread?!

[chunkyfrog]

I have given extra effort to understand people with speech impediments or even strokes;
but when one CHOOSES to make their remarks unintelligible,
IT JUST IS NOT WORTH THE EFFORT.
This attention seeking is annoying, and I have better things to do.
Maybe I will scrub the grout behind the toilet.

[palerider]

Pretentious people, thinking they are important/talented because they choose to write unintelligibly.
Not worth bothering with.

as well as the ones unable to follow a coherent thread of thought.

[palerider]

Pretentious people, thinking they are important/talented because they choose to write unintelligibly.
Not worth bothering with.

or lucy, who's just unable to follow a coherent thread of thought.... more things to avoid bothering with (normally on my ignore list, but I peeked)

[Lucyhere]

Pretentious people, thinking they are important/talented because they choose to write unintelligibly.
Not worth bothering with.

or lucy, who's just unable to follow a coherent thread of thought.... more things to avoid bothering with (normally on my ignore list, but I peeked)

You called me by my first name... you must love me.

You always peek, you just want people to think you don't, which I find so funny.

You gonna read this too?

[ckeith]

.
.

Well to bow out as Gracefully as possible.

Heartfelt THANKS to those of you who have offered me your Good Advice, Understanding
........................................................ & some strong measure of your Compassion -

Coming here, I was admittedly fogged & confused with weeks of Insomnia. Allowed only an odd few
hours rest here and there. I saw no Hope that I could ever adapt to CPAP and was very Angry about
........................................................ what was becoming a very Fast devolving situation -

Leaving here - I have had two nights sleep and I am able to tolerate my CPAP machine and have every
hope & chance at recovery - To those who gave me this GIFT - You must know that Iam Grateful
....................................................................................... It has been Saving GRACE

------------------------------------

I am however sorry & saddened that the many here that have take such strong Offence, as to Who I am,
and how I express myself , They take such an Irrational revulsion that they tell me I am deserving of
being defined as their FOE , their Enemy , I am to become - 'the despised pariah ' worthy only to be IGNORED -
Yet where he can be easily Sniped at from behind their button

Indeed they have found me to be SO Offensive to their sensibilities that they have found it appropriate
to subject me to their Abuse, Ridicule & Epithet - Whiner, Drama Queen, Grow a Couple, Pretentious
Girl in Jr High, and even likened to an Alcoholic Blob ! - One deeming himself the Palerider, even choosing to
extend his pointed Ridicule at me while Cowardly hiding behind his FOE button - I cannot help but
take these INSULTS very personally

I know that I am none of these things - I am a person Who for reasons of how I perceive my World, expresses
himself in an Unconventional manner - I do not swear at you - I do not Abuse you - When attacked,
I may parry the blow - What is it that I do to elicit such venomous Opprobrium ?- What is my Crime ?
I format my posts I use Caps, Italics, Underline etc etc

I give notice that I refuse to reciprocate, to their attacks and so quit this place - This is a place where
people seek and FIND help - I know, as I found it here myself -I will not sully this forum with what could
easily become an ongoing Feud & Troll War, full of rhetorical smart Ass rebuttal & counter blow

I tell you this - In most ways I am like anybody else - to a large extent a Person Who is defined by how he
expresses himself, and how he acts upon those expressions. -

I sincerely hope many of these people who thought that they had found an easy MARK come to realize
this FACT and come to comprehend just how it is that they have defined Themselves, by how they have
expressed themselves & acted when presented with something, or someone that does NOT meet with
the MYOPIC standard of their Ordinary -

I hope they come to appreciate human diversity rather than be threatened by it


I am Who I am -
I express myself in the way Ido because of Who & what I am - A Synesthete - I know that I am different -
& believe me & know how that places me into the context of " The Stanger in a Strange Land' and how that
opens me to the blows of the Hammer , spoken in the Japanese Proverb mentioned earlier


I am who I am - And I am glad of Who I am - And I will not allow myself to be demeaned by Irrational
INSULT & Ridicule - I will NOT submit to the measure of their Ruler

I will not stay where I am made to feel so Unwelcome that I am to be defined as FOE &I 'Despised Pariah'
due to that Iact that you feel that I overly Format my posts.


Don't worry - The door will not hit me as I EXIT - & I will shake the dust off my boots as I leave


.

[Julie]

And goodbye.