I thought I couldn't fall asleep

cmmarti3 · Post by **cmmarti3** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 11:32 am

Julie wrote:What about changing the mental picture from something unwanted stuck to your face to a costume party (c. 1700) where everyone's wearing ball gowns and holding (on a stick) masks ('masques') to their faces, really loving being able to hide behind them... the mystery, being whoever you choose to be behind the mask and not letting anyone dislodge it... wander around, enjoy the music, check out the hot guys behind their own masks.

Hey that's a fun idea! I actually no longer mentally don't want the mask on my face. I want it, oh boy do I ever want it! I had scheduled an appointment with an ENT hoping for some "alternatives" and couldn't go because I couldn't drive...because I hadn't slept! But this morning I realized that I don't need an ENT. I just need to make CPAP work - and I am! I've accepted it. And I will not be in bed without my mask because I know what's happening to my body without it. The CPAP keeps me alive. Being alive is a good thing. But I will use this mental imagery if I have issues...it will certainly help!

It would be nice to meet a guy who wears one too. LOL. Then he could understand me. I'm divorced so I'm on the market now. Haha

cmmarti3 · Post by **cmmarti3** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 11:33 am

Sir NoddinOff wrote:You've made a lot of positive changes in a short period of time, good for you... if you don't believe me go back and read some of your earliest postings. Keep up the good work.

Thank you! I think my earlier postings were probably pretty desperate and despondent. It did take finding the right mask though. I really don't like something over my nose. And I really don't like something in my nose. So good thing they invented the Dreamwear mask or I'd be in a world of hurt! Now how do I find and make peace with a pillow? LOL

cmmarti3 · Post by **cmmarti3** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 1:16 pm

Pugsy wrote:Good job. Congratulations.

About the AHI....I am 99.99999% sure that what is showing up is primarily the awake/semi awake/tossing/turning irregular breathing getting flagged and those we have to mentally remove from the evaluation process.

Right now...getting to sleep is the primary objective and the added stress of worrying about fixing something is definitely unwanted. We will worry about any fine tuning and fixing once the sleep issues are better controlled and we have a better idea if what is seen really needs fixing.

She has Encore software and can see when the events get flagged and can see if it is close to a known awake time or known period of sleep. From what I have seen the bulk of the flags (which are primarily central) coincide with known awake times and those awake times/events don't count anyway.
For the short periods when sleep has happened the reports look quite decent.

Here's hoping for continued success with the DreamWear mask.

Pressure lines are quite stable and don't really move much so I don't think that the variable pressure is much of a problem. I think that the bulk of the problem is just a hungry insomnia monster that feeds on anything and everything in an effort to stay alive. Stress seems to feed him a lot...so we want to reduce stress by any means possible.

Thank you Pugsy for all of your help and guidance. I will start looking at Encore again once I feel that I have my sleep 100% under control, but I feel like I'm almost there now. You have been the most helpful person to me on this journey and although I don't know you in person, I consider you a dear friend and a wonderful person!

If there is ever anything I can do for you or anyone on this forum, I would like to. Because without this support group I never would have made it in this journey to health.

BlackSpinner · Post by **BlackSpinner** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 3:22 pm

Congratulations!

You are doing great now! What a wonderful Christmas present for you to get. Nothing will ever be this hard again and if it seems so, you only have to think back on this experience to know you can do ANYTHING!

(sort like Luke Skywalker in the first movie - you have the Force now!)

yaconsult · Post by **yaconsult** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 10:39 pm

Wonderful progress you've made so far - congratulations! For those of us with severe apnea, we need to accept that sleep is not possible without cpap. So the choice is not sleeping with it or sleeping without it - it's sleeping or not sleeping. We now know that the reason we were so tired before cpap was that we were constantly waking up all night long just below our level of consciousness.

It will get easier. You will not only tolerate your therapy - you will come to look forward to it. Just keep asking questions here and getting help when you need it. Your body and mind will adjust to cpap and then you'll be able to get much better rest.

cmmarti3 · Post by **cmmarti3** » Sun Dec 20, 2015 4:03 pm

Dear All: Unfortunately last night I had another hard night. I do not think I slept at all. I did make a commitment to keep the mask on all night and I did. Unfortunately I fooled myself into switching masks a few times during the night, which I believe is counter productive. Needless to say, today I am a complete zombie.

I downloaded a Michael Sealey self hypnosis track for sleep. I will use it tonight to try to help me. I am going to stick with the Dreamwear mask although I could not sleep last night, because I did have a decent night the night before. The sound it makes bothers me a bit. I'm hoping I will get used to it.

I do not know why this is so difficult for me. I can feel that my blood pressure is through the roof from lack of sleep and stress. I appreciate any additional input and/or thoughts.

Christina

BlackSpinner · Post by **BlackSpinner** » Sun Dec 20, 2015 4:25 pm

Ignore the back slides, just learn from them and don't beat yourself up. You KNOW you can do it now, that is all you need to focus on. You just missed the potty this time, no big deal.

WindCpap · Post by **WindCpap** » Sun Dec 20, 2015 4:47 pm

That is awesome that you didn't sleep without your cpap. Remember that you are controlling the things you can. You cannot control whether or not you sleep. The only wrong thing you can do is to sleep without the mask. One thing that worked well for me is I switched my showers to night time. I tend to get skin irritations easily, and a fresh shower helps.

I promise it will get better if you keep at it.

cmmarti3 · Post by **cmmarti3** » Sun Dec 20, 2015 4:50 pm

Hi thank you. I had not thought of it that way. Do you agree that switching masks in the middle of the night is a big no no? I keep doing it. None is comfortable (right now) as you said. I don't have to be back to work until January 4th...so I presume at some point my body will just pass out from exhaustion and I'll sleep. I'm going on two nights of no sleep and one night of so-so sleep (night before last).

I'm looking forward to getting past this hurdle and rejoining the living. I cannot wait.

I spent a lot of time in bed today, trying to take a nap (with the CPAP) and never could fall asleep. I suppose that's also a big no-no. I won't do that again. thanks so much for your support.

Sticking with the Dreamwear mask again tonight. Wish me luck. God help me.

I've lost 21 pounds since my diagnosis. I"ve gotten less and less sleep and am losing interest in food...and everything else.

cmmarti3 · Post by **cmmarti3** » Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:14 pm

BlackSpinner wrote:Ignore the back slides, just learn from them and don't beat yourself up. You KNOW you can do it now, that is all you need to focus on. You just missed the potty this time, no big deal.

Thank you. You are right. I've done before and I'll do it again. Thank you for your continued support!

WindCpap · Post by **WindCpap** » Mon Dec 21, 2015 8:55 pm

cmmarti3 wrote:Hi thank you. I had not thought of it that way. Do you agree that switching masks in the middle of the night is a big no no? I keep doing it. None is comfortable (right now) as you said. I don't have to be back to work until January 4th...so I presume at some point my body will just pass out from exhaustion and I'll sleep. I'm going on two nights of no sleep and one night of so-so sleep (night before last).

Except for sleeping without CPAP, nothing as a "no-no". Some things are more recommended than others though, and I would recommend keeping the same mask throughout the night. I have heard very good things about the dreamwear. I wear a P10 now but I plan on trying the dreamwear when I am up for a new mask.

library lady · Post by **library lady** » Mon Dec 21, 2015 9:58 pm

Do you agree that switching masks in the middle of the night is a big no no? I keep doing it.

I think it's best to stay with one mask for the night, but I have a friend who is a long-time cpap user, and she starts her night with one mask, and in a couple hours wakes up puts her other one on. She has just the two masks, always starts the night with the same one. She's been doing it the same way for a long time, doesn't know why she couldn't ever stay with the one mask for the whole night.... so there's a chance it might be the answer for you, as long as you can get back to sleep quickly with the second mask and stay with it until morning. I'd think it would be handier to be able to get through the night without switching, though, as well as helping you get completely through the night.

49er · Post by **49er** » Tue Dec 22, 2015 3:41 am

library lady wrote:Do you agree that switching masks in the middle of the night is a big no no? I keep doing it.

I think it's best to stay with one mask for the night, but I have a friend who is a long-time cpap user, and she starts her night with one mask, and in a couple hours wakes up puts her other one on. She has just the two masks, always starts the night with the same one. She's been doing it the same way for a long time, doesn't know why she couldn't ever stay with the one mask for the whole night.... so there's a chance it might be the answer for you, as long as you can get back to sleep quickly with the second mask and stay with it until morning. I'd think it would be handier to be able to get through the night without switching, though, as well as helping you get completely through the night.

A relative who had no problems adjusting to the machine has done this for years. He doesn't like any mask:) but interestingly, his hate never interfered with the success so obviously, it works for him.

I just think this therapy can be difficult for many people in adjusting to and adding too many rules can contribute to more stress vs. making it easier.

49er

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