Well, it was fun while it lasted...

[BleepingBeauty]

<snipped>
Better to just fantasize about it.

[BleepingBeauty]

Thought I would post a good update to this thread. My aunt called me today (she's now living with my parents, caring for Dad). She said she tried to call me earlier when my mother was out because Dad wanted to speak with me, but my phone never rang. (My phone's been acting weird lately, so not surprised that it didn't ring, but very disappointed that I missed talking to Dad. There was no VM, and it didn't even tell me that she'd called.)

Anyway, the good news is that Dad's doing okay, although my aunt says he's pretty depressed most of the time, but HE'S USING HIS MACHINE AGAIN! My aunt took care of her husband (Dad's brother) when HE was diagnosed (at 84) and started using a machine, so she's much more familiar with the whole setup than my mother ever was. She said she got Dad a new mask (same one he was using before, the F10). I asked how she managed to do that, and she said she asked my mother for the number of the DME, called and got it done. I'm SO proud of her! Then she asked me about adjusting the mask (says it's making noise/leaking), so I told her what I'd tell anyone else.

I'm so THRILLED by this news, I can't tell you! Not only is Dad using the machine again, but he's got someone there who actually gives a damn and is doing whatever she can to help him out.

She'll try to call me again when my mother's out next time.

I think it's time for a glass of wine now.

[kteague]

Well that certainly is good news. Do you think your mother accepts input from her because she's a peer and there's no mother/child dynamic? Whatever the reason, glad you can have a bit of relief knowing he's got someone in his corner.

[Sir NoddinOff]

Sometimes miracles happen when you least expect it. Thanks for the update, BB.

BTW, I love the image of the 'bro' Jesus above... it got me to laugh at first, then think.

[BleepingBeauty]

Well that certainly is good news. Do you think your mother accepts input from her because she's a peer and there's no mother/child dynamic? Whatever the reason, glad you can have a bit of relief knowing he's got someone in his corner.

Good point. I'm not sure if it's simply that my aunt is a peer or because my aunt is someone who cared for Dad's brother when he was going through treatment that gives her some measure of credibility. Could very well be the absence of the mother/daughter dynamic that we had, too. Don't really care WHY, though; just glad it's happening (and very relieved to know that someone is there full-time who gives a shit about Dad).

Sometimes miracles happen when you least expect it. Thanks for the update, BB.

BTW, I love the image of the 'bro' Jesus above... it got me to laugh at first, then think.

Thanks, SNO. FWIW, I'm not religious at all, so I don't believe in miracles (nor Jesus). I just like good memes.

[Madalot]

This was a nice post to see today! Whatever the reason for it, I'm thrilled your aunt has taken over care of your dad and has got him using the machine! Kudos to her!!!

[chunkyfrog]

So happy things are looking up for your family.

[Captain Neon]

While I do not have elderly parents, they just qualified for Medicare this year, being the eldest and the child that has made the most effort to live as close to my parents and childless aunt and uncle as possible, I am concerned about their well-being and feel a sense of responsibility for all of them. My father has undiagnosed sleep apnea, it's as terribly obvious as it was for me. My grandmother was a hypochondriac, and that being the case, my father only goes to the doctor enough to keep his CDL medical card current so he can continue doing his retirement jobs: OTR big rig and school bus driving. He'd never mention his snoring and would probably even lie about it if asked directly for fear that he wouldn't be able to drive school bus any more. My uncle is a "go to the doctor if something isn't working right" type (more like me), but both have poo-pooed anything that isn't traditional take a pill or get cut into medicine. When I mentioned to my uncle that I had begun CPAP therapy, the events leading up to getting it, and its effectiveness, he immediately commented that he might benefit from having a sleep study himself. I don't know if he will actually go through with it, but who knows? Maybe it will be enough of an incentive for my dad to have a sleep study and get therapy for himself. He may be able to stop taking some of the pills the doctor currently has him on. My mother, of course, is very interested in my CPAP therapy. I even had one of my employees ask about my CPAP therapy as he is interested in looking into it for himself.

[BleepingBeauty]

Thanks, Maddie and CF. I'm really happy that my aunt is there; she deserves all the kudos!

When I mentioned to my uncle that I had begun CPAP therapy, the events leading up to getting it, and its effectiveness, he immediately commented that he might benefit from having a sleep study himself. I don't know if he will actually go through with it, but who knows? Maybe it will be enough of an incentive for my dad to have a sleep study and get therapy for himself. He may be able to stop taking some of the pills the doctor currently has him on. My mother, of course, is very interested in my CPAP therapy. I even had one of my employees ask about my CPAP therapy as he is interested in looking into it for himself.

Hi, Captain Neon. I was sure that my dad had apnea long ago, but he brushed off my concerns for years. Since I live in AZ and he's in FL, my urging him to get a sleep study was via the phone, and it was easy for him to ignore it. But I'm convinced that my being there with him in FL made a big difference, and he finally agreed to have a sleep study (done at home) that confirmed his severe apnea. He was a real trooper about using the machine while I was there, and I'm very happy that he's now back on it with my aunt's help.

I have no doubt that the condition is hereditary (my older brother was dx'd before I was, Dad's brother was finally dx'd at the age of 84, and Dad just before he turned 86). I've warned my niece and nephew (older brother's kids) to be aware of the possibility of apnea because of the family's history with it.

I hope you succeed in getting your uncle and especially your dad (since he drives - children! - in his retirement) to have a sleep study. I understand your dad's concerns about keeping his job driving a school bus after an apnea diagnosis, but maybe you can reason with him. Has he considered how he'd feel if he crashed while doing that job and just one of those kids was injured (or, forbid it, dead) as a result of him being drowsy or nodding off behind the wheel? He's taking a big risk...

Keep trying, as that's all you can do. I hope you're successful, like I finally was.

[HoseCrusher]

Excellent news. I'll join you in a glass of wine.

[Captain Neon]

Dad takes lots of naps during the day. That's his excuse why he doesn't need a CPAP. He's always fully rested before he goes out on his routes, and naps while his trailer is unloaded. He used to tell me when I was a teenager that I was sleeping my life away because I would sleep 12 hours every night if I could. He always tells us that once he does just one more thing he will be ready to die a happy man. Ten years ago, it was to be walk my baby sister down the aisle. This year, it was for his grandson to be born. Theodore was born in June. I haven't heard his latest, "I'm not scared to die" declaration. He often tells us that he wasn't supposed to live past 35 (severe asthma) so the last 30 years have been a bonus. My mother has slept in another room since my brother and I both moved out 20 years ago. Now that he's on Medicare, he says that he doesn't have to take care of himself any more.

[BleepingBeauty]

Dad takes lots of naps during the day. That's his excuse why he doesn't need a CPAP. He's always fully rested before he goes out on his routes, and naps while his trailer is unloaded. He used to tell me when I was a teenager that I was sleeping my life away because I would sleep 12 hours every night if I could. He always tells us that once he does just one more thing he will be ready to die a happy man. Ten years ago, it was to be walk my baby sister down the aisle. This year, it was for his grandson to be born. Theodore was born in June. I haven't heard his latest, "I'm not scared to die" declaration. He often tells us that he wasn't supposed to live past 35 (severe asthma) so the last 30 years have been a bonus. My mother has slept in another room since my brother and I both moved out 20 years ago. Now that he's on Medicare, he says that he doesn't have to take care of himself any more.

I'm sorry to hear all of that. Sounds like your dad is really stubborn and set in his ways (with a lousy attitude, to boot).

Although I'm sure that my being with my dad in FL made a difference in getting through to him, it was only after he had become ill and was struggling to recuperate that I went there to help. I reasoned with him that good sleep would only help his body and mind to recover, and he finally acquiesced to having a sleep study and was open to the treatment. (Maybe, at that point, he felt he had nothing to lose; your dad obviously isn't there yet.) Can't help but wonder, though, whether he'd have experienced the medical difficulties if he'd started treatment years before; but those "what-if" questions will make you nuts.

I hope it doesn't come to that with your dad. Unfortunately, hindsight is always 20/20, but it's always too late...