An appeal to negative & critical posters.

[bavinck]

Everyone,
I know I have not been around here long, only about a month. I have noticed a disturbing trend by a few here, however, that I feel I must appeal to. When people post questions on here, please help them the best you are able, or maybe even refer them to others you know can help them. However, some of you feel the need to tell the OP that their question was stupid and why. If your desire is to tell the OP that their question is no good, or you are assuming the OPs reaction to advice given is not good enough, please do not post. People come here tired, desperate and seeking a community of help. People do not need you to tell them their question was not worth asking and they most certainly do not need you assuming avoidance or laziness or denial from a poster because they are not reacting to the advice the way you think they should. People here, especially new people, are tired, scared and not thinking clearly. Assume the best of people, be charitable towards people's motives and intentions, assume people genuinely want help. If you cannot do so please do not post a reply telling them why you think their OP or current response to replies is or was not good enough. If you cannot be kind and polite, just don't join in the conversation and instead let others who are able to be kind respond. People come here for help, so let's help them, not criticize or belittle them.

Please take this post in a spirit of appeal; my appeal to the minority on this forum that do tend to reply in the negative. Most people here are extremely kind and helpful, and for that I thank you for all the help you have given out during your time here at CPAP Talk.

[MitzyG]

I'm new and I agree - let's try to be supportive of everyone. I would add that not only are the askers feeling tired, sleep deprived, but so are the folks writing these comments. That's not an excuse for anyone to be less than supportive. We just should recognize that we're all tired, we're all suffering. I've been working on being more positive, omitting less supportive comments AND generally ignoring crabby-ness.

[49er]

Everyone,
I know I have not been around here long, only about a month. I have noticed a disturbing trend by a few here, however, that I feel I must appeal to. When people post questions on here, please help them the best you are able, or maybe even refer them to others you know can help them. However, some of you feel the need to tell the OP that their question was stupid and why. If your desire is to tell the OP that their question is no good, or you are assuming the OPs reaction to advice given is not good enough, please do not post. People come here tired, desperate and seeking a community of help. People do not need you to tell them their question was not worth asking and they most certainly do not need you assuming avoidance or laziness or denial from a poster because they are not reacting to the advice the way you think they should. People here, especially new people, are tired, scared and not thinking clearly. Assume the best of people, be charitable towards people's motives and intentions, assume people genuinely want help. If you cannot do so please do not post a reply telling them why you think their OP or current response to replies is or was not good enough. If you cannot be kind and polite, just don't join in the conversation and instead let others who are able to be kind respond. People come here for help, so let's help them, not criticize or belittle them.

Please take this post in a spirit of appeal; my appeal to the minority on this forum that do tend to reply in the negative. Most people here are extremely kind and helpful, and for that I thank you for all the help you have given out during your time here at CPAP Talk.

+100

[ems]

Everyone,
I know I have not been around here long, only about a month. I have noticed a disturbing trend by a few here, however, that I feel I must appeal to. When people post questions on here, please help them the best you are able, or maybe even refer them to others you know can help them. However, some of you feel the need to tell the OP that their question was stupid and why. If your desire is to tell the OP that their question is no good, or you are assuming the OPs reaction to advice given is not good enough, please do not post. People come here tired, desperate and seeking a community of help. People do not need you to tell them their question was not worth asking and they most certainly do not need you assuming avoidance or laziness or denial from a poster because they are not reacting to the advice the way you think they should. People here, especially new people, are tired, scared and not thinking clearly. Assume the best of people, be charitable towards people's motives and intentions, assume people genuinely want help. If you cannot do so please do not post a reply telling them why you think their OP or current response to replies is or was not good enough. If you cannot be kind and polite, just don't join in the conversation and instead let others who are able to be kind respond. People come here for help, so let's help them, not criticize or belittle them.

Please take this post in a spirit of appeal; my appeal to the minority on this forum that do tend to reply in the negative. Most people here are extremely kind and helpful, and for that I thank you for all the help you have given out during your time here at CPAP Talk.

+100

+101

[chunkyfrog]

I wish we could make this unanimous.

[Jeannh]

Amen.

[herefishy]

I think some folks think the "tough love" approach is what is necessary in the case of posters who say they aren't using their cpap.

[JohnBFisher]

I think some folks think the "tough love" approach is what is necessary in the case of posters who say they aren't using their cpap.

Perhaps because we HAD friends with whom we can no longer enjoy their company because they did not take CPAP seriously. What's worse, some of those posters then try to tell others that it's just okay. Nothing bad will happen to you. It's fine if YOU decide to hurt yourself. It's not fine to encourage others to do the same.

But overall, I definitely agree. We always need to assume the best - unless the individual proves themselves to be someone that provides bad advice to others. Then we really do have an obligation to step into the picture. But even then, being polite is a better approach.

[Bill44133]

I agree... but it seems that there is always one in every crowd..

I have asked dumb questions here.. I am glad I have thick skin that goes with my thick head .

[bavinck]

But overall, I definitely agree. We always need to assume the best - unless the individual proves themselves to be someone that provides bad advice to others. Then we really do have an obligation to step into the picture. But even then, being polite is a better approach.

This is really what I am getting at. If someone is actively promoting anti-cpap mentalities this is not the place for them to be, and an admin needs to step in and let them know as much. Even in such an extreme case, though, people are all human and should be treated as such. I could easily make it clear to the world that a poster or a thread or a specific post is unacceptable, or outright wrong and dangerous, authoritatively and without belittling or insulting the poster. As my mentor always told me "strive to always be firm, friendly and fair."

[BlackSpinner]

If you don't stomp on the trolls they take over and leave a trail of mis-information.

[star444]

I absolutely agree with this post! I haven't been around this forum very long, but I noticed rather quickly that rude comments are all too common. (I usually shake my head and think "That poster must be suffering from sleep deprivation; or they're an a$$; or both!)

I get the "tough love" part, but being rude doesn't help anyone. Information shared in a respectful manner can help many. And from what I have read here, there is a lot of good information to be shared.

[ems]

If you don't stomp on the trolls they take over and leave a trail of mis-information.

But the majority of the time the person is not a troll. Better to give the person a chance. Bavinck is right on the money!

We can tell rather quickly if someone is yanking chains... until then we need to keep in mind what this Forum is all about.

We've received many appeals like this... many people feeling the same way... we need to give people the benefit of the doubt... until proven a troll.

[ddk]

Please take this post in a spirit of appeal; my appeal to the minority on this forum that do tend to reply in the negative.

You're being very negative and critical about this issue.

[BlackSpinner]

Basically this is an unmoderated forum.

You takes your choice - you can go to the all sweetness and light Yahoo moderated forum where a post takes 48 hours to be allowed on and no information is allowed to be posted or you can come here and get what you need to control your own therapy warts and all.

Many people stay with the forum after their therapy works because it is a fun forum. Yes there are some off topic threads and some people are a bit nasty and sleep deprived or in furious denial or blaming their spousal for "violating " them with their xpap therapy. And you know what, these people have just as much right to come here and blow off steam as the Polyannas, the Goody Twoshoes and Peter Pans plus the Twinkle toes is allowed to say what they think about the spouses.

Every couple of months the Twinkle Toes complain about the off topic threads, the lack of moderation and the fact that the forum is not carefully segregated into Masks, machines, newbies, technical people, software and such and the old timers explain to them that the forum would die a quick death under those restrictions.