My Husband and Sleep Apnea....I need you help

[KatieW]

Thanks for check in. Sounds like your doctor is your best friend and advocate in this. That's wonderful!

If you haven't already, get a copy of the Prescription and Sleep Study. Know the exact name of the cpap that your doctor prescribed. Alot of names sound similar, but there can be a world of difference between them.

[DreamOn]

That is fantastic news, frtwome! I hope that your husband will do well with CPAP therapy and will be feeling better very soon.

Katie's advice to get a copy of the prescription and sleep study are very important. I think that it's extremely important to know exactly what the doctor prescribed before meeting with your durable medical equipment (DME) supplier. You have been focusing on just getting your husband to agree to therapy, and now you need to learn about the equipment options. This will greatly increase the chances that he will continue using CPAP! He may agree to get the equipment, but if it's sitting there unused because he encounters difficulties (which can be worked through) then it isn't going to be doing him any good.

If the doctor didn't mention a specific brand and model, then we can recommend specific machines that will provide the information you and and your husband will need to monitor his therapy. The model names can be quite confusing because they do sound very similar to each other, and the DME suppliers will often try to sell you the machine that they will make the most profit from, which isn't necessarily the best option for the patient who wants some involvement in their own therapy. If you can tell us exactly what the doctor prescribed, we can give you some feedback regarding that.

If you haven't already, you should call your insurance company and find out what percentage they pay for durable medical equipment. Also ask the insurance company if there are multiple choices as to where you can purchase the equipment, in case the DME supplier that your doctor has referred to you doesn't work out for some reason. Some DMEs are great, while others aren't good at all.

As I mentioned earlier, getting a mask that fits well is of utmost importance! I can't overemphasize this, especially since your husband did have difficulties with the mask during the titration sleep study. If the mask isn't working for your husband, he may be more inclined to give up on CPAP therapy after a short while. He needs to try on as many masks as possible when meeting with the DME supplier. It's best to try them on with the CPAP machine turned on, on a bed in his normal sleeping position. He needs to move around to make sure air doesn't leak from the mask. Masks come in various sizes and styles. If your husband chooses a mask and it doesn't work well for him once he gets it home, there is usually a 30-day exchange policy so he should keep trying until he finds one that's just right for him.

You will learn that there are many little things that can be adjusted and problems can be remedied. For example, it's usually important to have the hose well-insulated with a hose cover (either homemade or purchased). Without that, most of us get condensation in the tubing and mask when the weather's cooler, which is not a very pleasant experience when the water droplets go up your nose! So I hope your husband won't let those kinds of challenges discourage him. We can help him work through any issues.

I hope you don't feel overwhelmed with all there is to learn. Just take it one step at a time. We're all here to support your husband (and you!). We've been through this journey ourselves, and we understand the challenges. Many of us have had great success with CPAP and feel like it's given us a second chance at life. Many of us have experienced almost a rebirth, as our energy and mental clarity return. It can take some persistence, however, as everything doesn't always fall into place right away. Personally, I got great results from the very first night, but for many people it takes longer to optimize treatment. Just hang in there!

Please let us know how things go. I'm sure that you'll be sleeping better soon too! The spouses suffer just as much in many ways, I know.

Best wishes,

DreamOn

[frtwome]

Hi,
Thank You.
His doctor did not give us a copy of the prescription, when I ask for it, he just told that he would set up everything for us that David will need.
But, I just received the call that I had been waiting for from Home Medic. The man told me that what David will need will cost us between $2,500. and $3000.
he said that he ran it through David's insurance and the we still have $1,300. owed towards our deductible. The DME said that nothing would be covered by David's insurance.
He told me that I would be better off letting him find us used equipment, he will give us the same warranty as a new one. The used price will be approx. $1,200. to $1,500. And he will try to get David set up next week, if possible. He said it depends on when he can find this used equipment and the weather.
HE (DME) said that David is very bad, and he needs this right away, he said that 13 events in a sleep study qualifies a person for insurance, David had 116 events.
What do I do? Can I just purchase this equipment online? There were a few ads for machines with mask & hose that I saw locally, that I will purchase today. But, how am I suppose to know what the heck to do with once we get it.
I was hoping that this DME would get David set up today, very nervous & disappointed.
Judy

That is fantastic news, frtwome! I hope that your husband will do well with CPAP therapy and will be feeling better very soon.

Katie's advice to get a copy of the prescription and sleep study are very important. I think that it's extremely important to know exactly what the doctor prescribed before meeting with your durable medical equipment (DME) supplier. You have been focusing on just getting your husband to agree to therapy, and now you need to learn about the equipment options. This will greatly increase the chances that he will continue using CPAP! He may agree to get the equipment, but if it's sitting there unused because he encounters difficulties (which can be worked through) then it isn't going to be doing him any good.

If the doctor didn't mention a specific brand and model, then we can recommend specific machines that will provide the information you and and your husband will need to monitor his therapy. The model names can be quite confusing because they do sound very similar to each other, and the DME suppliers will often try to sell you the machine that they will make the most profit from, which isn't necessarily the best option for the patient who wants some involvement in their own therapy. If you can tell us exactly what the doctor prescribed, we can give you some feedback regarding that.

If you haven't already, you should call your insurance company and find out what percentage they pay for durable medical equipment. Also ask the insurance company if there are multiple choices as to where you can purchase the equipment, in case the DME supplier that your doctor has referred to you doesn't work out for some reason. Some DMEs are great, while others aren't good at all.

As I mentioned earlier, getting a mask that fits well is of utmost importance! I can't overemphasize this, especially since your husband did have difficulties with the mask during the titration sleep study. If the mask isn't working for your husband, he may be more inclined to give up on CPAP therapy after a short while. He needs to try on as many masks as possible when meeting with the DME supplier. It's best to try them on with the CPAP machine turned on, on a bed in his normal sleeping position. He needs to move around to make sure air doesn't leak from the mask. Masks come in various sizes and styles. If your husband chooses a mask and it doesn't work well for him once he gets it home, there is usually a 30-day exchange policy so he should keep trying until he finds one that's just right for him.

You will learn that there are many little things that can be adjusted and problems can be remedied. For example, it's usually important to have the hose well-insulated with a hose cover (either homemade or purchased). Without that, most of us get condensation in the tubing and mask when the weather's cooler, which is not a very pleasant experience when the water droplets go up your nose! So I hope your husband won't let those kinds of challenges discourage him. We can help him work through any issues.

I hope you don't feel overwhelmed with all there is to learn. Just take it one step at a time. We're all here to support your husband (and you!). We've been through this journey ourselves, and we understand the challenges. Many of us have had great success with CPAP and feel like it's given us a second chance at life. Many of us have experienced almost a rebirth, as our energy and mental clarity return. It can take some persistence, however, as everything doesn't always fall into place right away. Personally, I got great results from the very first night, but for many people it takes longer to optimize treatment. Just hang in there!

Please let us know how things go. I'm sure that you'll be sleeping better soon too! The spouses suffer just as much in many ways, I know.

Best wishes,

DreamOn

[Julie]

Hi, I know your grateful to the doctor, and wouldn't want to 'upset' him, but he's treating you like children. You have a legal right to the paperwork and without it, cannot confirm or be sure about what's on it. Ask him again for it - you don't have to be confrontational, but there's nothing wrong with saying, with a smile, that you know it is legal to have it and would just feel better if you did.

[Hawthorne]

You DO have a legal right to have a copy of your husband's prescription!

It finances will be an issue, you can order online at less than the price the DME has given, unless your husband needs a more expensive machine, like a bipap. You need the prescription to buy online from a reputable dealer.

Cpapauction.com is another possible source but you need a prescription on that site as well.

Craig's list is another source for a used machine. On Craig's list a prescripition is probably not needed but you need to know what machine the doctor is prescribing.

Remember that is is "buyer beware" on both cpapauction.com and Craig's list.

The manual, that should come with the machine, is very helpful in setting it up and we can certainly help you with pressure settings and other things.

I don't know if the DME is quoting you an inflated price or if your husband needs a more expensive machine, like a Bipap for example. The prescription will tell you this.

You do need to get that prescription and you have a right to have it.

[KatieW]

You and your husband need to make a choice between:

1. trusting and relying blindly on your doctor and DME....or
2. educating yourselves and being pro-active in the therapy.

Many of us have chosen the 2nd option. But it may not be the right choice for you and your husband, at this time.

If you just can't handle that, then maybe the 1st choice will get him into therapy faster, and with less hassle than you can currently cope with. It depends on how much you are willing and able to fight for it. No judgment is implied here, it's really just what you are able and willing to do.

Yes, the people on this forum will help you as much as they can, but ultimately, it's your decision.

The important thing is that your husband is now willing to try cpap therapy. Best of luck to you both.

Edited to add: this is only my opinion. Others may disagree.

[frtwome]

I just got off the telephone with David's doctors assistant, the machine that his doctor ordered for David is a bipap.
I also called the DME at he told me the same, that a bipap is what the doctor ordered. DME also told that he was told that David needs to wear the full face mask, but I told him to please bring the nasal mask also. Because I do not think that David is going to wear the full face.
DME also said that he has located a slightly used one (bipap with smart card) through one of his other companies, and the approx. cost will be $800.00 And he will test the machine at his office and hopefully he will be here at our home next Wednesday. I really want him here much sooner. But he doesn't think that will be possible.
Judy

You DO have a legal right to have a copy of your husband's prescription!

It finances will be an issue, you can order online at less than the price the DME has given, unless your husband needs a more expensive machine, like a bipap. You need the prescription to buy online from a reputable dealer.

Cpapauction.com is another possible source but you need a prescription on that site as well.

Craig's list is another source for a used machine. On Craig's list a prescripition is probably not needed but you need to know what machine the doctor is prescribing.

Remember that is is "buyer beware" on both cpapauction.com and Craig's list.

The manual, that should come with the machine, is very helpful in setting it up and we can certainly help you with pressure settings and other things.

I don't know if the DME is quoting you an inflated price or if your husband needs a more expensive machine, like a Bipap for example. The prescription will tell you this.

You do need to get that prescription and you have a right to have it.

[Hawthorne]

That sounds like a good deal for a Bipap, especially if this DME is a good one. I'm sorry you have to wait until Wednesday!

Please do consider getting a copy of your prescription though, and your sleep study as well.

It won't be long until Wednesday!

[goose]

Hi frtwome - your persistence will pay off in the end!!!! You've done extremely well!!!! This whole post has reduced me to tears as it has others, but we know how important this treatment is to continued life!!!! We feel your frustration!!!

Your next challenge is going to be the mask (it's extremely simplistic to say, but a blower is a blower, is a blower -- simplistic in that a BiPAP is a more complex machine than the standard CPAP - but a bipap is more comfortable to use!!!)
I have always said that the mask is the "holy grail" of xPAP. I went through 6 before I found one that I'm happy with - I am using a ResMed Activa LT with a large/wide interface. It is a nasal mask but I don't mouth breathe.
David is going to be fighting with the mask for a time, but gently let him know that you'll find one that will be comfortable and work that it'll just take some time. The big step has been taken, but there are still a lot of little steps ahead. I wanted this treatment so badly by the time I actually got my machine I could have screamed -- took me 6 months from diagnosis to machine. But, I was soooooooooo tired of being tired, I was willing to do anything to change it.....in the 2.5 years I've been on the hose I've only had one night that I wasn't compliant and that was due to a power outage with no backup (battery). That problem has been remedied!!!!
If possible, have him join here and let us work with him in the same way we have worked with you -- we're here to help, and as you said in one of your posts, we've been down the road, and know the importance of doing this.

I was ready to tell you to up your insurance on him to the max, and as others said, get yourself a nice dress, bathing suit and cruise literature - but it doesn't sound like that is necessary at this point.
You know him and his motivations better than anyone, so we can make suggestions based on our own experiences, but it's you that has to determine the game plan because you know what may work. Humans are very frustrating animals to work with!!
It sounds like the doc is totally on board. That is EXCELLENT!!!! So many docs write a prescription and say, "Next"....not worrying about the patient. You have a good one!!!

Someone posted 2 options earlier and option number 2 is the best path -- long term!!!! For the short term, do whatever you need to do.....option number 1 will work while you guys come up to speed.
Being more complex, the BiPAP machine is much more expensive than a standard xPAP - and having a BiPAP prescribed tells me how serious his problem truly is!!!! Expense is relative. How much is your/his health worth?? In accepting a used machine, ensure that it came from a non-smoking environment!!! It is impossible to get that "dirty ashtray" odor out.

You do need to get a copy of the prescription. That is a "requirement". Start an "Apnea folder" and put everything related to it in that folder. Mine is about an inch thick at this point and even contains some of the posts here.
Also you'll want to get copies of the study. Not only the summary that the doc receives with the interpretation, but the actual PSG and titration study (6-10 pages). It won't mean a lot to you yet, but if you immerse yourself in the issue as I have and many others here, those numbers will start to mean something and make sense.
I've always felt that if I have an affliction, it's my job/duty to learn EVERYTHING about it. The doc is a "generalist". He can't know everything about everything, so that's where your study comes in. My neurologist was very supportive of patients taking control and learning. She also told me that there were "some very smart people on this forum. Smarter than me".
By law you are entitled to those copies and the docs office may charge you by the page, but it's worth the couple bucks!!!! But get that prescription - you'll need it to order any machine, humidifier, mask etc. from a reputable online vendor. cpap.com will price match any legitimate price from any competitor!!! Since they sponsor this forum, I'm kind of inclined to give them my business if for no other reason than this forum has been so important to me in my understanding of my condition.....

Well. This has gone on long enough. I could write more, but others have covered pretty much anything I'd have to say.

You have done an excellent job Judy; David should be proud and thank you for your persistence and once he's not so tired he will -- hell, make him take you out to the best restaurant in town to celebrate his "not being so tired"......Go drinking and dancing -- 53 ain't that old!!!!!!

Take care - both of you
cheers
goose

[DoriC]

Hi Judy, sorry you're having to go through this hassle but you're probably doing the best thing right now going with the used machine from the DME as long as he's giving you the same warranty as new.It's only a few more days. Hope you get the right mask fit, that's the tricky part, there are lots of tips here for mouth breathers, but if he really does need a FF he may not object so much after a few nights under his belt in his own home environment after things settle down. It's good you asked for both. You really need the RX and a copy of the sleep study, they're part of your medical records. I bypassed the Dr completely and "sweetly" asked the nurse for everything I "might need in the future". She said she was too busy right now and I said, "that's OK, I don't mind waiting a few minutes". She gave me what I asked for just to get rid of me.

[frtwome]

Hi,
Thank you, And I know that you and everyone are right about everything that you are saying to me. It is going to be extremely difficult for David to deal with any mask on his face, and please know that I feel for him, but he has no choice right now, he has to do this. Even though he is telling me that absolutely will not wear the full face mask. This is what the DME man told me that David's doctor told him to do. The DEM ask me is David snores, I told him yes, he always has, and he said that the nasal mask will probaby not work good enough, because as David has his mouth open while snoring, air will still be exscaping. That's when I ask him to please bring different mask. We will do whatever it takes to get David to wear one of them.
I do think that we are very fortunate to have this doctor that we have now, it listens to us, he doesn't just ignore us like the last one. And Monday I will get the copy of the prescription and I want a copy of the sleep study. I honestly didn't know what I would even be looking at before, but now that I have been on this forum and talked so many people, I do understand so much more. I have a long way to go, but I will do my research.
And it is really my fault about David's heath insurance not covering this. Way back in time when I noticed him dozing and other symptons, I knew something was wrong with him, I wasn't so sure that it wasn't his heart, and we had no health insurance at all. Well with David's pre-exsiting conditions (high blood pressure) afforable health insurance is hard to find. So, I had to have something for him, so I got a very high deductible health insurance, I wasn't so sure at that time that he wouldn't end up in the hospital so I wasn't greatly concerned about the deductible. As it turned out it was sleep apnea.
But it sounds like the DME is willing to help us out with this, and so far is making it afforable. We will just have to pay for the bipap equipment, Just as long as we get it, that worry can come later. As you say how much is his life worth, everything to me. Money is nothing that I am going to let bother me. I am just over anxious for DME to get here. The folder is a great idea, As of right now I will have a file for this.
Thank you again, and I know that I'm probably pushing it, but our wedding anniversary is on Dec. 29th, (34 years) and wouldn't be a great thing if David felt better, and that he actually wanted to go out to celebrate. No...53 years old isn't that old, still some good times ahead I hope.
Judy

Hi frtwome - your persistence will pay off in the end!!!! You've done extremely well!!!! This whole post has reduced me to tears as it has others, but we know how important this treatment is to continued life!!!! We feel your frustration!!!

Your next challenge is going to be the mask (it's extremely simplistic to say, but a blower is a blower, is a blower -- simplistic in that a BiPAP is a more complex machine than the standard CPAP - but a bipap is more comfortable to use!!!)
I have always said that the mask is the "holy grail" of xPAP. I went through 6 before I found one that I'm happy with - I am using a ResMed Activa LT with a large/wide interface. It is a nasal mask but I don't mouth breathe.
David is going to be fighting with the mask for a time, but gently let him know that you'll find one that will be comfortable and work that it'll just take some time. The big step has been taken, but there are still a lot of little steps ahead. I wanted this treatment so badly by the time I actually got my machine I could have screamed -- took me 6 months from diagnosis to machine. But, I was soooooooooo tired of being tired, I was willing to do anything to change it.....in the 2.5 years I've been on the hose I've only had one night that I wasn't compliant and that was due to a power outage with no backup (battery). That problem has been remedied!!!!
If possible, have him join here and let us work with him in the same way we have worked with you -- we're here to help, and as you said in one of your posts, we've been down the road, and know the importance of doing this.

I was ready to tell you to up your insurance on him to the max, and as others said, get yourself a nice dress, bathing suit and cruise literature - but it doesn't sound like that is necessary at this point.
You know him and his motivations better than anyone, so we can make suggestions based on our own experiences, but it's you that has to determine the game plan because you know what may work. Humans are very frustrating animals to work with!!
It sounds like the doc is totally on board. That is EXCELLENT!!!! So many docs write a prescription and say, "Next"....not worrying about the patient. You have a good one!!!

Someone posted 2 options earlier and option number 2 is the best path -- long term!!!! For the short term, do whatever you need to do.....option number 1 will work while you guys come up to speed.
Being more complex, the BiPAP machine is much more expensive than a standard xPAP - and having a BiPAP prescribed tells me how serious his problem truly is!!!! Expense is relative. How much is your/his health worth?? In accepting a used machine, ensure that it came from a non-smoking environment!!! It is impossible to get that "dirty ashtray" odor out.

You do need to get a copy of the prescription. That is a "requirement". Start an "Apnea folder" and put everything related to it in that folder. Mine is about an inch thick at this point and even contains some of the posts here.
Also you'll want to get copies of the study. Not only the summary that the doc receives with the interpretation, but the actual PSG and titration study (6-10 pages). It won't mean a lot to you yet, but if you immerse yourself in the issue as I have and many others here, those numbers will start to mean something and make sense.
I've always felt that if I have an affliction, it's my job/duty to learn EVERYTHING about it. The doc is a "generalist". He can't know everything about everything, so that's where your study comes in. My neurologist was very supportive of patients taking control and learning. She also told me that there were "some very smart people on this forum. Smarter than me".
By law you are entitled to those copies and the docs office may charge you by the page, but it's worth the couple bucks!!!! But get that prescription - you'll need it to order any machine, humidifier, mask etc. from a reputable online vendor. cpap.com will price match any legitimate price from any competitor!!! Since they sponsor this forum, I'm kind of inclined to give them my business if for no other reason than this forum has been so important to me in my understanding of my condition.....

Well. This has gone on long enough. I could write more, but others have covered pretty much anything I'd have to say.

You have done an excellent job Judy; David should be proud and thank you for your persistence and once he's not so tired he will -- hell, make him take you out to the best restaurant in town to celebrate his "not being so tired"......Go drinking and dancing -- 53 ain't that old!!!!!!

Take care - both of you
cheers
goose

[BlackSpinner]

You may want to investigate the HYbrd mask Go here to look at it:
https://www.cpap.com/productpage.php?PN ... 5QodME8igw

I just switched to it. It covers your mouth without making you feel claustrophobic and a chin flap helps to keep your mouth closed.

If you get a half decent RT they will be able to help him fit it. It comes in 3 mouth sizes and 3 nasal sizes. It can be a bit of a challenge to get it fitting because it is so flexible.

[goose]

Dec 29th.....
That was my anniversary in my first marriage. Done on purpose because it was a date that I wouldn't forget it's also my fathers and my youngest brothers birthday!!!
If (big if, I know) he will use the machine and mask each night between Wed. and the 29th, he may just feel good enough to go out an celebrate a bit, but he's got a sleep debt to "pay off" - he's lost a lot of sleep over the years, and once he's on the hose his body needs to heal (I slept 10+ hours a night for 9-10 months)!!!
Give him a "rain check" for a "date" in June or July and plan something special -- if he uses the treatment faithfully he should be more than ready to "cash in the rain check" by then!!!!
If he doesn't have an instant "fix", don't get discouraged - it took me about a year before I had really settled in and I was anxious to make it work. It just took me that long to find a mask that worked well for me - which at the time was the headrest (IOMED) which is a nasal pillow mask. I now use an Activa LT which is a nasal mask - seals very well!!!
It just takes persistence and "wanna".....he's gotta wanna!!!! I hear it when he says, He's tired of being tired!!! That was my total motivation!!!
The mask is going to be a challenge - as I say I feel it's the holy grail of xPAP. Keep at it, most masks can be returned to the DME before 30 days and the DME can return it for a "no cost" replacement from the manufacturer. If your DME has a "try it" policy, try as many as they'll let you until you find one that works well. When you can find a good mask that seals well, he'll have it wired.
I taught myself to not mouth breathe, so if he is a mouth breather he can try that - there are other methods of keeping the mouth closed, but......a Full Face mask is the best option for that!!!! The Quattro, or the UltraMirage Full Face (UMFF) are the two that I keep hearing about here. I have an old F&P 431 and it sucks!!! I also have the challenge of facial hair, so that doesn't help the seal on an FF mask. I am also extremely claustrophobic but wearing a FF mask doesn't bother me.

Keep at it Judy (and I know you will), you're doing great. Soon David will hopefully return to his "old self".....
Take care
cheers
goose

[dsm]

Judy

You seem to have struck it lucky re the Bipap at $800. That sounds like a good deal. If you can find out what model it is that will help us tell if it is as good a deal as it appears.

Goose hit the nail squarely on the head re the mask. I am still having frustration with my own (a F/F Quattro). Each time my weight fluctuates (is decling as we come into summer) it starts leaking again & I then mess with it for a few nights before it comes right.

But you and David are progressing & there are many here who will try to help you keep up the momentum.

Cheers

DSM

[frtwome]

He can take as long as he needs to heal, I'm all for that. I just want him to feel better. And yes, he does have a lot of hopefully restful good sleep to catch up on. The greatest anniversary gift to me is that he is at least willing to try to get himself better. The mask will be the greatest challenge, David does have a beard, so we will have to see how that will work out, but I know that if David thinks that he can handle the mask, if he needs to, he will shave it off, he has several times. He does snore quite heavily. The DME man does seem to be nice and sounded helpful, so I hope he does come prepared. Because like you said, David has to feel comfortable with the mask in order for him to be willing to wear it every night.
When you say that it took you a year to get comfortable with the right mask, in that year that you were trying different ones, did you feel any better at all within that year? And David naps a lot during the daytime, usually sitting in his chair watching tv, should he be wearing the mask hooked up to the machine during this time also? I wish that I had of stayed with David the night of the sleep study, so that I could have seen exactly what they did, as far as the mask that they tried on him, but they didn't really want me there. But you know, when you are awakened like that and a mask put on your face, and a million wires hooked to you, I think that pretty much anyone would freak out about it, so I understand where David is coming from. I know that I would have had a big shock at that too. And all of us get cranky & grouchy when we do not get enough sleep. So, maybe this time with the man from DME, not the sleep lab, David just might be better with it. But, I now know a lot more information about the mask, regarding leaks & comfort.
I wish that it could be an instant fix, but I know that will probably not happen. But I will not be discouraged. He is so sad and looks so tired and has for such a long time. I just want to see him smile, hear him laugh. Through all the years that we have been married, we have always worked together in business, and he was very happy, busy, extremely energetic, and we worked very hard, but we enjoyed every minute of it, and we had fun together while making a living. I just miss my David. But, I truly believe that this will get better.
Thanks so much,
Judy

Dec 29th.....
That was my anniversary in my first marriage. Done on purpose because it was a date that I wouldn't forget it's also my fathers and my youngest brothers birthday!!!
If (big if, I know) he will use the machine and mask each night between Wed. and the 29th, he may just feel good enough to go out an celebrate a bit, but he's got a sleep debt to "pay off" - he's lost a lot of sleep over the years, and once he's on the hose his body needs to heal (I slept 10+ hours a night for 9-10 months)!!!
Give him a "rain check" for a "date" in June or July and plan something special -- if he uses the treatment faithfully he should be more than ready to "cash in the rain check" by then!!!!
If he doesn't have an instant "fix", don't get discouraged - it took me about a year before I had really settled in and I was anxious to make it work. It just took me that long to find a mask that worked well for me - which at the time was the headrest (IOMED) which is a nasal pillow mask. I now use an Activa LT which is a nasal mask - seals very well!!!
It just takes persistence and "wanna".....he's gotta wanna!!!! I hear it when he says, He's tired of being tired!!! That was my total motivation!!!
The mask is going to be a challenge - as I say I feel it's the holy grail of xPAP. Keep at it, most masks can be returned to the DME before 30 days and the DME can return it for a "no cost" replacement from the manufacturer. If your DME has a "try it" policy, try as many as they'll let you until you find one that works well. When you can find a good mask that seals well, he'll have it wired.
I taught myself to not mouth breathe, so if he is a mouth breather he can try that - there are other methods of keeping the mouth closed, but......a Full Face mask is the best option for that!!!! The Quattro, or the UltraMirage Full Face (UMFF) are the two that I keep hearing about here. I have an old F&P 431 and it sucks!!! I also have the challenge of facial hair, so that doesn't help the seal on an FF mask. I am also extremely claustrophobic but wearing a FF mask doesn't bother me.

Keep at it Judy (and I know you will), you're doing great. Soon David will hopefully return to his "old self".....
Take care
cheers
goose