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Your paradoxical reaction to the benadryl may be a clue. For many people benadryl will have a sedative effect. For some it has no effect. However, for those who have RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) and possibly those who have PLMS (Periodic Leg Movements during Sleep), the first generation antihistamines, like benadryl, will aggravate the RLS/PLMS to the point where the person cannot sleep. Chocolate is another RLS/PLMS trigger for some people.

To determine whether you have either of these conditions, you really need to get a sleep study in a lab. It might also be a good idea if the sleep doctor is a neurologist rather than a pulmonologist since this could be something more than straight sleep apnea.