Post
by birdshell » Sun Jun 11, 2006 12:59 pm
The sleep tech who made this comment was inappropriate. I think you made a very good, self-protective decision to ignore it while there in person. There are lots of great suggestions from our forum followers, and you may want to implement those. Even though a long time has elapsed, it is still bothering you a great deal. Doing something now, even after all this time, may help YOU.
One thing that might have been wise is to have called the sleep lab the next evening (or morning, depending on his shift) and ask to speak to him. Speaking calmly, you may have been able to say something like, "You said [enter comment] when removing my leads yesterday. I just wanted to let you know that I thought it inappropriate and you [insert your feeling, such as: hurt me, offended me, made me feel objectified as a woman, etc.]. Please do not ever say anything like that to me or any other patient. I just wanted you to know how I felt." Then immediately hang up. Do not allow him to answer.
In this way, you have preserved your in-person self, yet addressed the issue. By hanging up and not choosing to give him an audience, he will hopefully be made uncomfortable and I guarantee that he would have to think long and hard about this incident. You would also have taken back the power by dominating the conversation. IMHO, allowing that loss of power over the situation is what is most disturbing to you, don't you think?
You then have put the worry in his court. He will wonder if you will take it further, as many others have suggested. Will you tell your doctor? His boss? (That is up to you.)
In this way, you have confronted him safely and first. Most people appreciate being approached directly and that often resolves the issues. Going over his head is satisfying, but can sometimes be like tattling. I think that most of us would appreciate being confronted first, and THEN having a person go to our superior.
He could call you back, but you do not have to answer. Perhaps an answering machine message will be a satisfying apology...
We are all different, and I, for one, never seem to think of the right thing to say in the moment. OH, how I wish I could think on my feet!
Jenny, please take care of yourself and know that you have a lot of support on this forum. Do not allow a comment by a sleep tech to affect you too much.
P.S. I would just like to say that the lists of sex offenders are often outdated, many are divorce-custody accusations that were "proven", and we can use them as an indication but not a condemnation. This is one of those tricky situations where we want to keep our children and communities safe, but finding out the total truth is almost impossible.
